1 Yr Old Won't Sleep Thru Night-- at Wits End!!

You have my empathy. Neither of my kids has been a good sleeper. They'd vomit if they cried too long, just from being so upset. We never let it get to that point - as soon as the oldest came close, we gave up letting him cry. We co-slept with both. The older one now does fine on his own. The youngest is three and still, since last September, wakes up EVERY night to crawl in bed with us. She says she's scared. She needs a warm body. It's a phase. Yes, the sleep deprivation is frustrating. Sometimes I leave and go sleep in her bed by myself. :) Hang in there, try to have some "me" time (I know, difficult) and focus on everyone getting sleep. Mine kicks and moves around, so I know it's not easy. But some kids are just like that. Sorry I don't have advice for you. Just know you are not alone! Good luck.

Try tiring him right out. My kids sleep trained at six months, but sometimes teething or illness would disrupt sleep patterns for a while. If I took the kids for a swim they would sleep like logs, so if we needed to get back into a good sleep pattern I would take them for an evening swim before bed a couple of nights in a row, and they would get right back on track.

I know I will get slammed, but would you consider a supplement bottle? Maybe he is hungry.. He is a year old, could be he is just not getting enough of your milk any more. .

My baby just turned 1, he is still up every 2 hrs or so to nurse during the night. I dont think its that unusual. We cosleep, its the only way I can get any rest.

Well each kid is different. I know, that doesn't help.
My daughter was a bit like that.
But she was (she has outgrown it), pretty sensory sensitive. Meaning ANY noise, when she was sleeping, woke her up. Even outside night time noises, like a car driving by, woke her.
At sometimes it was us, waking her. I mean, our snoring and our own sleep noises.
Then there was "night terrors" which both my kids got at about 1 years old.
This is developmental based. And normal.
And then just regular developmental separation-anxiety stuff. Which is a phase. Not forever.
And well, my daughter had a HUGE appetite and I was nursing. She fed often day and night and nursed a ton. It was not just snacking. She NURSED. Luckily I had lots of milk from my boobs. She grew like a weed.
And... my daughter also had a lot of gassiness, and gas pains, which tweaked her sleep.
But one day, she just started to sleep well. And wake less.
By then, she was about 2-3 years old.
Naturally and developmentally, she just started sleeping better and longer with less wakings.

No baby, sleeps the same way all their lives. No adult sleeps now, the same way they were when they were a baby. It changes, per age stage.

Though my daughter OFTEN woke when she was a baby... she does not now. And is a good, solid, sleeper.

Does your child, have a Lovey??? Something cuddly to sleep with?
My son had one from 6 months old. A baby safe stuffed animal he just gravitated toward and slept with. It was his "friend." And he slept well with it.

I feel your pain! My first was such a bad sleeper I would have never had another if not for God!
For one thing NEVER compare girls with boys. They have a hard time self soothing.
Another thing is temperament. They ought have this stamped on their butt when they are born. Oh, so sorry, you have a 12!

I got little sleep. I could not do CIO. I would try the sound machine. I taped the vacuum cleaner..I was desperate!

Co-sleep. He wants to be with you and near you. Babies are meant to be with their mamas at this age. He won't always be in your bed-- when he is ready he will want his own bed. But for now at this stage, I would put him in bed with you. Comfort him and let him know you are there. Maybe he is going through a growth spurt---many babies do and need a little extra TLC. Hang in there! It will pass.

M., he has found your button and he's not only pushing it, he's punching it. As long as you bring him in your bed, he will do this. As long as you nurse him in the middle of the night, he will do this. You were able to successfully sleep train your daughter partly due to her disposition and partly due to the fact that there wasn't another child to wake up. Your second child is harder on both counts.

Here's my suggestion. It's going to be hard, but you and your husband need to look at the greater good here.

If there is a place you can put your daughter in the house where she cannot hear him cry, move her bed. If there's not, get her some little ear plugs and put them in her ears while she is asleep. Then, no more going in period. Cold turkey. It will be hard. It will be brutal. He'll scream as if there is no tomorrow. But don't go in. Once he realizes that you aren't coming in, he will gradually lie down in the crib and fall asleep. The next night he'll cry a little shorter time, and in successive nights, he will finally stop waking. It may take up to two weeks.

It will ONLY work if you are 100%, and I really mean 100% consistent. If you cave in and bail him out, going in his room, he will know that the gig is up and he has won. Then he will scream to high heaven.

Don't start if you can't finish. If you give in to his crying, you might as well have not done it.

He does not know how to self soothe. He uses YOU to put himself to sleep. He doesn't need to nurse during the night. It is a habit, not a need.

Do him the favor of allowing him to learn to put himself to sleep. It will help your entire family.

Good luck, and sending you strength.

Dawn

None of my boys slept (or are sleeping) until they were fully weaned. Once they were fully weaned they slept 7-7am without a peep.

My first son, I tried what you do by bringing him to bed with me...BUT I just could NOT sleep with him, he was like a leach and I have to have my space.
Weaned him at a year old, he had his binky he was a happy boy, no problems at all slept like a baby.

2nd son from day one I did exactly what you did, mainly because I was just sooo exhausted this kid nursed all night long (looking back I probably should have really forced a supplementing with formula but he would NOT take anything but my boob)....I finally had enough about 15 months---he fought hard with his weaning process, but once he was weaned no problems. Also just to add, my 2nd was a horrible sleeper even with me next to him, turns out he was severely anemic once we got his iron levels under control he did sleep better, still not through the night tho'.....18 months he was completely weaned sleeps like a champ.

Everyone raves about how EASY my kids go down for bed now. My MIL and my Mom both tell me whatever I did with my two older boys don't change with my 3rd. So in light of that, I've been doing exactly what you are doing...only difference is I'm totally okay with it, kind of enjoying it actually. Don't worry it wont be like this forever....And I'm pretty confident once the food source in the middle of the night ends and he finds other measures to self soothe. He'll be sleeping through the night. each child is different and each child will sleep on their own through the night when they are ready. Really they will. My only thing was I never wanted them in 'our' bed, and made it a point to stay in their room when we co-slept. It worked for us because we had a spare queen in the babies room.

good luck hang in their mama :)

Before I get slammed, M. asked, and DOESN'T want her son in her bed until he's 2 or older. It's my advice, you're entitled to give yours, we all are.

M., you "tried" sleep training, the trick is to stick with it until it works, as S.H. said, every child is different, even within the same family. Dr. Sears was talking on TV last month to a celebrity dad who asked about this, his daughter could scream over an hour as well and he and mom were concerned they were doing the right thing. His reply was basically along the lines of as a parent you can tell the difference in the cries, if you hear a something-is-majorly-wrong cry, go in, if it's not and all his needs have been met then stick to the increasing 5-minute increments. Your child needs the reassurance that you are still there, as well as learning to self-soothe and go to sleep on their own. Is it easy? Of course not! No one wants to hear their little one crying. But as the doctor pointed out, YOU are teaching a valuable skill. Hang in there!

Interestingly enough, a friend of mine has a daughter who had an emergency C-section last Tuesday. She's still in the hospital (complications) so has availed herself of all the new parent teaching classes on the hospital channel. She told her mom she and her husband can begin sleep-training their son between 5 and 6 months, according to what she learned :)

I don't have any experience with nursing, but my current 15 month still sometimes gets a bottle around 4 or 5A and then she goes back to sleep. I think she was waking before in the night because she was really wet. I changed her to the overnight diapers and it seemed to help. He could be going through separation anxiety, or because he is standing, the desire to walk. All of mine went through a phase of standing up and not being able to get back down.

Oh- and my first 2, had, and still have to this day, a music player that plays lullabye music all night long. We just set the CD to constant repeat. My third has a music projector (Fisher price) in her crib, that plays and shows a lullabye on the ceiling for about 10 minutes and then shuts off.

My first baby was a lot like yours. She could cry for hours. I think one night I was so darn tired that I just flipped off the monitor and slept through it. After that she seemed to get the hint that she needed to go back to sleep. At age 9, she isn't a great sleeper, but she gets through the night (most of the time). I have to say, it really was indicative of her personality, very sweet, but needy and not easily soothed. YOu could try putting one of your soft t shirts with your scent on it in the crib so he feels like he has you near him. I would also read the Healthy Sleep Habits book by Weissbluth. That really helped me with my second child. If you are nursing him, I wouldn't wait until he is completely asleep to put him back to bed. I would put him down when he is drowsy.

He sounds like all three of my kids.
I would nurse them to sleep, lay them down in the crib, they'd sleep until about 3ish, then I'd bring them to bed with me, nurse again, we'd both go to sleep and wake up around 6, nurse and then get up.
At about 18 months or so I moved them to a twin bed (started with a mattress on the floor for the first few months) where they would go down after nursing (they slept through the night at this point.)
I think as long as they START the night in their own bed you don't need to worry as much about them making a habit of sleeping with you, because once they stop waking up for the middle of the night feeding they will usually sleep and stay where they are, in their own bed.
At least that's how it worked for me, with three VERY different kids.
Now if they are used to going to bed and going to sleep with you that would be different, and a harder habit to break I would imagine.

My oldest was a terrible sleeper. I thought I was going to lose my mind. The only place he seemed to want to sleep was with me. I tried to wait until he was completely, 100% sound asleep. Sometimes it worked, but often he somehow knew I was leaving him and woke up crying. I good friend of mine said, "The best place for baby to sleep is wherever baby will sleep."

You have a very comprehensive list of all the things that aren't wrong. What does he want? You. He just wants to be near you when he sleeps. Being near you makes him feel safe, which makes him feel relaxed, which allows him to sleep. If you bring him into bed with you, I bet he will sleep.

I understand your hesitation. You don't want him to be in your bed when he's 2 or even older. But the thing is, he's not 2 now. You have to do what works now. Don't say no to something now because you're afraid of what it might mean in a year. You didn't deny him breast milk at birth because you didn't want him to be dependent on it when he turned 1. He's already shown you that his sleeping habits will change from time to time, and he's just now a year old. His habits and desires will change a few more times before he turns 2. Do what works now, not what will work when he's 2.

Both our sons slept in our bed from time to time. Our oldest started almost every night in his own bed. Once he woke up I bought him into our bed turn nurse, because I learned that nursing him in bed meant I got to go back to sleep! When he was 17 months we took down the crib and put a twin mattress on the floor. He did great there and joined us in the middle of the night sometimes. By the time he was 2 he was only joining us occasionally, and by the time he was 2 1/2 he was pretty much in his own bed all the time (unless he was sick). He's now 6 1/2 and only wakes us when he's sick or has a really bad dream.

Our youngest never really slept in a crib. He slept in his carseat for the first 4 months (swallowing issues) and slept with us for about a year after that. We moved him to a twin bed when he was 16 months. He came to our bed most nights for awhile after that, but it was almost always after 2 am. He's now 3 1/2 and very rarely comes to our bed.

Do what works now. If you need to make a change later, you'll find a way to do it. But you both need to get some sleep, so I would focus on that. It really sounds like he needs to feel safe and secure. I really think you might be surprised at how much better you'll both sleep if you let him sleep with you.
Our youngest never really slept in a crib. He slept in his car

My first, my son, did not sleep through the night till he was 3 and even then it was 2 more years of sometimes having nights where he woke up once. I tried EVERYTHING with him. Cry it out did not work. I tried every method and every book. No sleep training worked. He just seemed very sensitive to everything...maybe it was teething but I don't know. My daughter slept a little better...while he was up 3-5x a night she was up once or twice a night as a newborn. Then it turned into being up once a night. I tried to do sleep training with her too but she would get so upset she would projectile vomit everywhere. The doctor said some kids just are born with a very very sensitive gag reflex. I finally just gave up. I lie with her till she falls asleep (in her own bed). She is 3 now and sometimes she sleeps through the night and sometimes she is up once a night.
Edit - I read what one person wrote and sometimes it just does not work. I did just that with my son. I did it for 3 months. I never gave in. I had so many people tell me exactly what she told me. They said it worked like a charm with their kids. When our son was 11 months old we made him cry it out till he was exhausted every night. But he never stopped. And he still woke up during the night and then we'd have to do it again. So, some parents are unlucky and for some reason our babies do not do well with sleep training. That sounds so cruel but you have to realize we were insanely desperate by that point. He was up almost every hour every night. No doctor could help us. We tried so many different things. Anyway, he is 8 now and sleeps awesome...like a log. I don't want to sound negative but if you try sleep training (we tried many methods, even the No Cry Sleep Solution) and it does not work don't feel bad...there are others out there who also failed!

Hi, M.:

Do you have a life?
Are you on a routine during the day?
Is he constipated?

Have you looked into his mouth to see if he is cutting teeth?

Call your ped, if he is cutting teeth, ask for a RX for Hurricane gel to put on his gums at night.

Good luck.
D.

Only one of my grand kids slept through the night consistently before they were a good 2 years old. Some kids just don't need as much sleep. There's not much that can be done if they're not sleepy.

I feel your pain!

have you tried a "sound sleeper" maybe white noise will help him to sooth and relax himself. if you haven't tried it, it's worth a shot, I've used it on both my girls ("the womb" sound) both who have been pretty good sleepers. (except my 3yr old is going through a rough patch @ the moment, grrrrrrrrr) and Sleep deprivation can be maddening!

I used to take my older one outside alot. She was not a good sleeper !

Bedtime routine w/ a story and back rub. TV is a stimulant. So, no tv or movies before bed (which u probably don't do).

When a toddler is mastering a developmental spurt---like walking. Sleep may not be what he wants to do. My daughter would wake up and stand up...as if to say, "Look at me because I can stand." It was one step ahead and sleep went by the wayside for a while.