% Year Old with a Bad Attitude

Life is so simple at the age of 5. There's no other time like it in the world. I don't keep my daughter from having fun UNLESS she is hurting someone else. That is where I draw the line, so to speak.

I would also try teaching your daughter how to be kind to people and what RESPECT means. Then encourage her when she is kind. Teach her about being pretty on the inside too. Did you ever read that "Chicken Soup For the Soul" story about being pretty on the inside too. Thats a good teaching story. My daughter is 4 and a half and my son is 2 and a half. I used my son as an example for her. Someone to practice being nice to. My daughter also does all the talking, so sometimes I have her listen and try to figure out what her brother is "talking" about. She is really making progress and now that she's getting older she gets more responsibilities too. Getting her involved in chores makes her feel grown up, happy and responsible. She still has lots of playtime though. Good luck!

my five year old son is the same way it is like he started kindergarden and he is now the boss...I am trying something new with him he really likes to play video games and i tried takeing them away for bad behavior but that didn't work he would just go a pick on his 3 year old sister so now i made mommie dollars and everytiime he behaves for example i see him sharing with his sister or playing nicely he will get a mommie dollar if he behaves in school (which i also got him weekly meeting with the guidance counsler to deal with his anger) and mommie dollars can be cashed in for 15 min of video time so far it seems to be working .....He also is a little jealous of his other sister (3months) being born..but you could try a reward thing it is working for me so far it has been two weeks...

Can you describe a little more about what happens when your daughter acts out? When she gets violent or angry, does she end up getting what she wants? I had a very strong-willed son who would pitch big-time fits when he was little. I didn't give in to his demands, though, because I didn't want to teach him that he'd get his way with such unacceptable behavior. He could be very bossy with his peers, or, he'd act out because he simply wanted something -- juice, a toy, etc. He never seemed happy unless he was the ringleader However, he didn't learn that lesson easily. Even though he didn't get what he wanted, he'd pitch that fit on and on and on! Ugh! I really hated that time in his life! But I never gave in! It was no fun, because there were times when I literally had to pick him up and remove him from places that I really wanted to be -- parties, visits with friends, even grocery shopping. Hey! When you have only a short amount of time to get those errands done, it just seems like it would be easier to give in and hand the kid whatever he wants just so you can get through the checkout line! But, there were a few times when I just left the cart at the service counter, told them I was sorry, picked up my son and just left. That was the negative feedback he got. But, he always got lots of positive feedback when he did things the right way and played nicely, asked for things politely, etc. When he was going through that period, I tried to keep his play dates short. He could handle 15 minutes at a playground with his friends, but an hour at someone's house, and he was Mr. Bossy again.
I think that was the long hard lesson. He used to have his little meltdowns because he wanted something. I wouldn't give it to him when he did that. It was no fun, and it did indeed turn into something of a power struggle, but it was an important struggle, all the same. I didn't want him to learn to be bratty and demanding. Today he's 18, and what used to be bossy behavior has matured into a natural leadership ability. But, Lord forgive me for the times I just wanted to clobber that kid! :)
I don't know if any of this applies to your daughter. Is this new behavior? Maybe she's seen some friends her age doing the same and getting what they want. Or she's just testing her limits. Good luck! Stay calm, patient and consistent.

C.,

My son is five, too. I think this is a stage that most five year olds go through, in response to new changes and responsibilites (going to school, especially). As a teacher, I've noticed that younger children seem to do things that older children and adults consider absolutely unacceptable in a "friend" and younger children forgive and forget much more easily. Still, it's definitely the time to have your child try and put herself in the friends' shoes. You might try asking her "How would you feel if your friend did/said/whatever that to you? Would you be mad? Sad?" If you encourage her to empathize with the other child, she may reconsider her behavior.

Also, you may want to consider the effects of your new addition on your five year old. I've noticed my son acts bossy and jealous of his younger sister. I try to redirect him...instead of allowing him to dictate to me how things are going to be, I play to his ego and ask for his help as the "big brother" more often. I also *try* to make a little time for just him every day, even if its only 5-10 minutes...I think he notices and it improves our relationship.

Good luck with both your children! I hope everything works out!

She is acting out because she wants your attention.....I read that your husband is the love of your life. That sounds great although I didn't read that your children are the love of your life. I am pretty sure that they are but you need to show it as much as you can. Your husband needs to take the back seat for a little while until your children needs are met. You may disagree with me, but what if I am right and all you need to do is give more attention to them. It can be as suttle as just touching their hair as they walk by, reading a book or by just telling them you love them. With children you have to make a big deal about most of what they do. Your husband will understand because your children need you and him more then you need each other right now. When they grow up and feel sucure, you will have more time with your husband and it will be well worth it. Kids are easy to figure out once you decide to undrestand their needs. God bless...

I don't have time for a long response but I notice that your son is very young. I also noticed that you had her reltivily young. Its been you too for a while so she might just be acting out becuase of the new baby. IT may be just dawning on her that he's going to be around for a long time and all the attention isn't on her anymore. Just a thought.

You might want to do things to make her feel special and improtant. That might help the behavior.

I can't really help to much but can you let me know about all the responses you get cause my daughter is 5yrs too and there is a lot of similarities in what your saying about yours! Thanks I apperciate it

D.