Would Love to Hear from SAHM Who Used to Be Working Moms

i fit that category, work will be stressful wether its at home or work. But the benifits of staying at home (if financially responsible) outweigh everything. I really miss working, i have a 1 year old girl and a 7 year old, so while i was hosting snack time with one, i was doing homework with the other. It is hectic in a different way. When you are home, you know thats where you need to be, and that you are the only one who can do it right. When you are at work, you know there are many others who could do the same thing.

I have always worked full-time, but if I had my choice, I'd work part-time. I still want my money to spend on MY stuff without having to ask my husband for some. Plus, I like the break. However, working FULL-TIME now is about making me nuts. I don't have time to do everything around the house AND spend much "quality" time with my son. I've basically let my co-workers know that if there's a baby #2, I'm going part time....maybe 30 hrs/week instead of 40.

I thought I was going to go back to work after the first 3 months. I couldn't do it. I went back and forth with my decision. In the beginning I was bored. I'm an inner-city, high school teacher, so I was used to a full day of a lot going on, non-stop activity. At this point she is 8 months and a handful, so I am very happy with my decision. I have plenty going on and every day is new and amazing. Some days are tough, we get on each other's nerves sometimes. But mostly it is amazing. I know that I will never regret that I stayed home with her. Would I regret going back to work and missing out on her? Definitely.

I was a full-timer in the advertising industry and let me tell you, I don't miss it! When I talk to my former co-workers they are still stressing over meetings and deadlines.

Being a SAHM is still hard work, but what I love is that I'm the boss! I have no one to answer to :) And even though I don't get paid, I see the rewards of my work on a daily basis and I get to enjoy them. At my job I'd do well and get a pat on the back, knowing I made the company some more money. Yay.

When I teach my SD something, I get to see her light up inside! When I clean the house I get to relax in a nice clean house. When I make dinner I see the enjoyment on my family's faces. These are things that I don't think you could put a price on.

I still work part-time and I make sure we do playdates so I have some grownup time. I worked 10+ years in Corporate America. I think being a SAHM is the best job in the world! And I don't have to leave home to do it!

First of all--are you working because you have to, or because you want to? I always thought that, being a family of 5, we would never survive on one income alone, so I worked 60-70 hr weeks and left my babies in the care of my mom. However, due to the failing job market, I ended up losing my job. Shortly after that, we found out my mom had terminal cancer. After her passing, I was forced to stay home thanks to the outrageous cost of childcare and not being able to find a job that would pay enough to justify paying for it. That was 5 years ago and we're still here. Honestly--it's the best decision I've made. I've managed to stay sane by joining church groups and doing other various things with groups in my community. I babysit and clean a couple houses throughout the month to help with spending money for some of life's luxuries. Now that the twins will be starting school in August, I'm still not sure I want to go back to work. My hubby works a rotating swing shift and if I were to go back to work, we'd get to see each other very little with some weeks not at all. If you aren't sure, take 6 months off and give it a trial. Best of luck to you!

I worked until my twins were a year old. I hated leaving them to go to work every day. I had a great job and great boss, but it could not compete with my kids. I resigned planning on going back to work when they were 3 or 4. They are 5 1/2 and will start Kindergarten in the fall and I'm still home with them. I have loved watching them grow, teaching them things, and doing lots of fun things with them. I was in a mother's of multiples group (there are lots of groups for mom's out there) and met some wonderful mom's. We took the children places and watched out for each other and helped each other.

At times it does get hard and I won't kid you, there are moments when you wish you were at work and someone else was dealing with the temper tantrum. But the way I look at it, they are only young once and you can always go back to work. It was the best decision I ever made.

Good luck in making your decision...

I used to be in corporate sales before I became a SAHM. I worked long hours and made a lot of money. I have two young boys and they keep me really busy. They are the best! However, I never get a break or relief because my hubby's job keeps him away for long periods. Some days I am extremely exhausted. However, I figure I only have 5 years with them before they are in school full-time. Once that time is gone, I won't get it back. I'll go back to work once they are both in school for sure. You never lose your job skills! Good luck!

I worked as a teacher for 6 years before resigning to move to a smaller town and start a family. I have gone the in between route by running a family daycare home. You have to look at your own personality--I have to be busy with something or I don't feel right--if I were at home with just my daughter I would resent not being able to get as much in the house down as I'd like. Don't kid yourself about having a spotless house as a SAHM:) The daycare allows me to use my teaching skills on my own terms instead of being in the pressure cooker of being a modern teacher. My daughter has playmates (although we've dealt with some rivalry issues just recently). Income is also key! I guess my point is I know I couldn't just relax and enjoy my daughter as much if I was worried about the housework constantly. With the other kids there, I feel like it is my job to put them first so I don't worry about the housework. It can be stressful to be dealing with 4-5 children but I need the adrenaline rush to get through the day. If you are a more relaxed person in general you might still want to have some kind of part time work or volunteer work( having a purpose outside of your children is still important). I also finished my grad degree to keep busy and stimulated. No one way of staying at home works for everyone!

I used to teach high school. It was a job that I really loved, and after my daughter was born, I went back to work. I finished out that school year (from Jan-May), stayed home with her for the summer, then went back to work. During that second school year, my husband changed jobs and I was able to stay home with her. So when she was about 18 months old, I quit teaching to become a SAHM. I now have two little girls and we are expecting another baby in January, and I truly *love* my job. They are little for such a short time, and it has been wonderful to share that with them. Now I am not saying it is easy, because it is definitely hard work, but I am glad I am able to be home. My best advice is to find a playgroup (or start one of your own) because you really need the interaction with other adults, and you will miss that after being in the workforce. Also, it's nice to have the ideas of other people to help you fill in your days. I'm really glad I made the switch. One of my friends (and a mom of two) told me, "You'll never regret being home with your kids," and she was 100% right. I wish you luck in your decision!

I did it a little different. I was a store manager. I worked very long hours with no Holidays off and worked almost every weekend.

Our daughter was in a great day care, but once she was going to start school, I decided, I wanted to be able to drop her off and pick her up every day of school. I also wanted to be able to volunteer in her school and have the weekends with her an my husband.

This worked great for us. I was able to very involved in her schools. I was PTA President at her elementary and middle school. I knew most of the families and all of her teachers and Principals. Many of them are now my best friends. I loved being there for every program, being able to attend field trips and getting to know her friends.

I also enjoyed being a part of making each school better for all children. If I had a concern or suggestion, I was the one willing to do what needed to be done to make it happen.

When it was time for our daughter to leave for college, I felt sad, but confident that I had been able to really know her and know she was prepared to be on her own far away.

I feel very fortunate to be able to stay at home and be able to volunteer.

I have worked since I was 16 years old, without a break. Even after becoming a teacher, I always taught summer school. But, when I was laid off last June due to budget cuts I thougtht I had won the lottery. I was given the opportunity I would never have taken on my own: to stay at home w/my twins (then 15 months old).

I immediately began scheduling, planning, organizing... Each day I was to complete a specific chore. On Tuesdays we had playgroup with kids their age in the neighborhood. Wednesdays we went to the library for storytime. It was great! For a few months.

Pretty soon our savings was gone and my life was consumed with finances. Then, boredom set in. I couldn't handle the lack of mental stimulation. I began setting new, challenging goals for myself, like potty training. When the girls regressed, I became depressed. I had placed my self worth in the hands of finicky 2 year olds. My housework started slipping and my husband became my boss. (He recently told me that he expects me to work a full 8 hours per day, which he doesn't think I do--even though I'm up w/them at 7am 7 days/wk until 8pm, every night, but that's a different rant.)

At this point, I would give anything to go to work each day. I'd have my babysitter do housework & I would miss & cherish my daughters rather than getting so frustrated by the end of the day after dealing w/the same ol' same ol'. My relationship w/my husband would return to a partnership rather than the current expectation that I take care of everything in regard to our children & home every single day.

I tell you my story just as something to consider. Every mom is different. This might be the job you've always wanted. For me, it came down to whining, "This is not what I wanted to do when I grew up!" I can't spend 12+ hours/day, 365/year without any sort of mental stimulation or break at all.

Best of luck to you as you make your decision!!!

Hi. I worked a 70 hour work week before having my daughter and deciding to be a SAHM. I've never regretted staying home with her! I am blessed to watch her grow daily and discover new things. I will be honest and say that most days I "work" harder than I did at my job, there always seems to be something I should be doing. But I wouldn't change being home for the world. My husband told me a few months ago that he wished he could spend more time with our angel.

You will miss "adult" interaction some days so make sure to make the time to see your friends and do things for yourself. Something else you may miss is the extra income so you may want to set up a budget. It's a tough decision and not for everyone.

Good luck.

I am 36 and has a 9 1/2 active boy. I worked 12 years before becoming a SAHM after my son was born. I actually quit when I got pregnant.

The pros of being a SAHM is that you get to spend all your time with your child and you get to witness their milestones and teach them new things and take them out for walks and do things. I have never put my son in daycare so I am not sure what they do with babies/kids there but I don't think they would take them out for walks etc.? You also don't have to worry about what the caregiver is doing with your child. If I was working I would be constantly thinking about if daycare is taking good care of my son. I guess since I've always took care of my son since he was born, it is hard for me to trust any strangers with him.

I think the cons of being a SAHM is that it is a 24/7 job and a job you can't quit so to speak even if you are super stressed out. The thing about a 9 to 5 job is that once you leave the workplace you don't have to worry about it for a while. Some moms might miss the interactions they have with their coworkers since being a SAHM you are mostly interacting with your child the whole day. That's why it's important for SAHM to join groups with other SAHMs or if you have friends who are also SAHMs , plan play dates with them.

Being a SAHM can be stressful at time but it is a totally rewarding experience and I feel so blessed to be able to be a SAHM at this point in my life. I plan on being one for as long as we can afford me to financially. I know that if I am at work I will miss my son very much.

All in all, despite all the work and stress that comes with being a SAHM I did not regret my decision to choose to be one. I love watching my son play and watching him grow and witnessing each of his milestones. I guess I also have this fear that if my son was a daycare or with a nanny he would become more attached to his sitter than me.

Not sure if this will helps but good luck on whatever you decide on doing.

I love staying at home with my son. It is a lot of work though. I do work 10 hours a week (but my job will be up in about 2 months and I will not be looking for another)--to bring in some income and to give my father time with my son (he watches him 2-6 hour days per week) and to give me a break. I think if you stay home, you need to join a play group that will help you get out of the house and keep you social. It gets pretty hard when all you do is talk to a two year old. I have also just joined the YMCA. My son is an only child and he always wants to see "kids". I have many health issues and can't do a whole lot. So we go to the YMCA...they have a kids zone that will watch him for 1 1/2 hours so that I can try to work out a little and take a break from being a mommy. They also do parents night out once a month.

I was working full time when I was pregnant but was put on bed rest at 5 months and fired from my job. Since then my health has really gone down hill. I did work for the first year of my son's life and I hated it. I use to be a supervisor at an animal clinic and worked tons of hours but after having my son I decided I only wanted to be a receptionist since I didn't want a lot of responsibility and could care for my son more. I hated dropping him off at daycare. He was all I thought about when I was at work.

It is awesome to be able to see my sons first of everything (now). I also don't have to worry much about what he is being taught at day care or if he is being cared for. My son is 32 months old, can count to 18, almost has his ABC's down, knows some colors, talks up a storm and is a very happy little boy.

Money is much more tight. We have a few memberships like to the Children's Museum and the zoo so that when money is really tight we can go to those (although right now in 95 degree heat the zoo is out of the question). It is a major adjustment going from a working individual, to a working mom to a SAHM...but I love it.

I was 39 when I had my son and had worked in advertising/marketing for about 18 yrs. I thought it would be SO easy to be at home--WRONG!!! Hardest job I've ever had. But also the most rewarding and the years from birth to first grade aren't many and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Now I work 2 days per week. My hours are somewhat flexible and it's a good balance for me. My son will be starting 2nd grade this fall.

I have always worked full time after I had my son I went back part time 2 days a week to me it seems perfect. My son gets to interact with other children. I get to interact with other adults. I know i would love to be home 7 days a week to be with him but on the same hand would miss getting out for a bit. Im in a situation where I have no one to watch my son so there isnt any other time that I get out.It is a lot of work being home with him but alot of fun too!!!

I was also in a stressful career that I had worked in for over 20 years. At 49 I found myself pregnant, expecting twins and while I had been discussing leaving my career & begin working out of my home on my husband's business, I didn't make that step until my pregnancy & delivery of our girls. After having a career, and generating my own income & success, I must say it was (and still is) quite an adjustment. The hardest part is now everyone else plans your days (your husband, your children, etc.); and even your best worked out plan is subject to change due to unforeseen circumstances or in my case my husband works on "more important" issues so my plans have to be changed where he deems it necessary, there is NEVER a day off - even when your husband says he'll help with the kids - the kids always turn to mom......your office is your home....so you are always at the office, etc., etc.. I wouldn't change it for the world as my complaints today are nothing in comparison to the hustle bustle of my prior career & if ever a day I'm not appreciating what I have I just call a friend that is still working in the career I was in. It's a joy to wake up & be there for my girls, to be able to bake with them, take them sight seeing, sit on the sofa & watch a program with them, etc. And, I've learned when I need some time to myself - I schedule a sitter or take the girls to Grandma's & just gel!! I've raised kids while working....and now work raising kids - leave your career!!! You only get one chance to raise your children & you can always go back to work. Good luck!

i got severly depressed when i quit working no money to go anywhere and I felt trapped. I HATED IT

I worked part-time until my son was 7 months old. I decided to quit because I felt like I was missing out on a big part of his development. My mom watched him while I worked, and he would cry for her, not want to go home with me, and it broke my heart!

Now I've been a SAHM for over a year and sometimes I really miss working. I get jealous of my husband getting recognized (and paid) for his hard work, and of course moms never get any credit! I've been trying to get a part time job, but employers don't like that gap on my resume. Also it can get really lonely & boring being home all day with a toddler. I miss having real "grown up" conversations!

If you like your job at all, see if you can cut back your hours, or do a few long days and have more days off. But if you really just want to quit your job and never look back - go for it.

I think you've gotten a lot of great responses and don't have much to add...I am at home almost full time. I'm a mom/wife first, and a voice/piano teacher a little farther down the list... ;) I work away from home one day a week, and our "adopted grandma" comes to stay with my DD. Then I work 5-6 hours a week (split between 2 afternoons) at home during hours that my husband is home. It is truly an ideal situation for us, but even with working only about 12 hours per week, I feel a little divided, and honestly am contemplating cutting back a little more. Even though I am not working a ton, there's a lot of division in my mind. Instead of resting while my daughter naps, I'm often putting together dinner so that it can cook while I work. Those are hours that we cannot do playdates with others, I don't get to give my hubby that relaxation time I'd like to when he gets home...he's on duty with her when he walks in the door. Don't get me wrong - I know I'm blessed to set my own hours and basically have family with my daughter the whole time I'm not. Just giving you another gal's feedback. :)

I just read the book 'In Praise of Stay-at-Home-Moms' by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It was fabulous and I highly recommend it, especially if you are considering being a SAHM. I don't think there's any stage of parenthood that is easy, but we are the only mommas our children have. If you can stay home, I think it's worth it!

Well, I was a SAHM for the first 3 years of my daughter's life. I have to say it was an awesome experience. Even though it is demanding, it is also far more rewarding than any job. There were times when I felt I needed something for myself to keep my mind active. I did take some college courses after she had turned 2. It was only a few hours per day for about 3 days a week. So I was not away from her long. Besides, my husband got bonding time with her while I was in class. Consequently, I decided to go back to work when she was ready for preschool. I've been a working mom since. I do sometimes wish I had stayed at home, even though she is now 10. However, we needed the second income. So, the bottom line, in my opinion is:

Pros
-You're able to have more time to bond
-Spend time educating (kids learn very well when one-on-one with a parent)
-You won't miss any milestones
-Have time to take your kid on educational trips
-It's easier to teach proper behavior when you're with them all day (instead of them learning other behaviors from daycare)
-Have social gatherings with other SAHMs and their kids
-Less stressful than work
-Can take up a hobby you can both enjoy & learn from (like gardening)

Cons
-Less money in the household
-Less interaction with other adults

If your family can afford it, then I highly recommend being a SAHM in the early years. Before you know it, your son will be in school (the years fly by fast) and your days will be free. Then you can re-enter the work force by taking a part-time job or starting a at-home business (depending on your field). Or you can have another little one!

I have done both.. I went back to work after my first child was 6 months. I worked 4 full dyas..I wanted less hours the company wanted more.

after my second child was born I quit to stay home.

I was home for 2 years. It is not easy to stay home.. it is just a different kind of hard. My kidsare 3 and 4 and I went back to work very part time 2 6 hour days.. the best mix for my sanity.. i love my days at work and appreciate the kids at home..

I could never "stay home" we had to be up and dressed and out he door almost every day.. unless someone was sick or there was a blizzard... An entire day at home was a crazy.

Hi. This will be brief as my 22-month old little guy is running around... : )
I just left my full-time job at the end of April and I love it. It is a lot of work for sure - but I really feel good about being the one here for him all of the time. I really think that he has a lot more words and talks more - albeit not really clearly still - since I've been with him 1 on 1. Also so much less stress if he's not feeling well...neither of us have to take time off
The hardest part is finding playmates for myself...I do miss the social connections I had at work.
Would be happy to "talk" more if you're interested.
Good luck!

The hardest thing for me was that at a workplace, you do a job and it's DONE. At home, you do a job, and it needs done again in a few minutes or hours or days, over and over again. You start to feel as if you have nothing to "show" for work that you're knocking yourself out tpo do.

BUT - I would never want to work full time until my kids are grown and gone. I'm lucky enough to have the blessing of being home with them, and even on aggravating, exhausting days I wouldn't trade it. :)

I worked until my oldest was 4 yrs old. I lost my job, so I didn't really get the option of whether I wanted to be a SAHM mom or not, though I did get to decide if I WANTED to look for another job or stay at home. I posed this same question to a group of other moms on another page and got about the same amount of mixed reviews as you did. So here's my take on it...While I LOVE staying at home with my son (and had the opportunity to decide to have another son and be home with him), I was worried about him missing opportunities to be out with other kids all day and having that kind of social interaction. Also, I can honestly tell you that the initial stages of SAHMhood are VERY isolating. Likely, everyone you've ever really been friends with up to this point are ladies who work outside the home, like you did. Therefore, while you're dying to get some grown up conversation, all your mom friends are at their regular jobs all day. You will likely lose contact with them because you now have very little in common (aside from your kids). Also, I cannot stress this ENOUGH!! Its VITAL to get a good schedule for yourself and your day from jump! I spent the first 6 months just feeling like I was wandering around through the day....because I was so used to having a fully structured day at work (and even very structured after work, because I had to fit so many things in to such a short amount of time). I felt like I was getting nothing done but at the same time felt so busy I could barely breath. Once I got on a regular schedule of what I needed to accomplish, I FELT more accomplished by the end of the day. ALSO, it took being home with my son day in and day out 24/7 to realize that I'd never given those ladies at daycare even 1/2 as much credit as they deserved. It is literally a full time job to keep an active child busy and engaged ALL DAY BY YOURSELF! Which leads me to my next point....find playgroups and get involved ASAP once you become a SAHM. These ladies will be invaluable to you. You WILL need adult contact and you WILL need a slight break from your child/children. This will provide both. And you WILL NEED IT. I can't stress this ENOUGH!

Finally, one of the biggest things that I had a hard time dealing with was the issues with $$. When I worked outside the home, I felt more impowered to make decisions, assert myself anytime I wanted on things that I WANTED (not needed) and spend money any way I wanted to. Now that I'm a SAHM, there usually isn't additional money to spend just for the heck of it and I've really had to learn to adjust to that. I took me a short while to learn to stop spending like I did when there were two incomes, and it did take a few arguements with the hubby to finally realize it. He was trying hard to make me realize this, but I wouldn't see it. You will also need to realize this.

I can honestly say I trult enjoy being home with my kids. I'm much less stressed out than I used to be when I was trying to "do it all" while working outside the home up to 10 hours a day. My kids do seem to be thriving with me being home for them...but I must tell you that some days I would give anything to be back in the working world still. You will likely also have days like that....and its a totally normal and ok feeling to have.

Best of luck on your decision. Its a tough one and you really just need to follow your heart while having all the information before hand. Kudos to you for asking this question and making an informed decision.

Hi, I am 46 and have 4 kids. After my oldest was born I was laid off of my job so I was home for about 8 months of his life. I went back to work and I hated being away from him so much. BUT, I needed to work and I trusted his caregiver so much and he was only 5 minutes from my work and across the street from my parents. When our next child was born I stayed home for the time allowed and then wanted to go to part time but my employer would not let me so I quit. I realized that we needed the money so I got a job and then my daughter got very sick but this empolyer let me work for a month or two at home. I stayed there until we were laid off. I was home with both kids for about a year and then found another job and worked on a part time basis working while they were in school. I finally decided to be a SAHM when my daughter was in 1st grade. I have been at home technically for about 13 years now. I have gotten jobs in the school district so that I have the same schedule as them and I have some money of my own. We had our other 2 children and I was home while they were babies and now that they are in schools I am back working for the school district. I also have a few home businesses to keep me busy. The question for you is what did you dream you wanted for yourself when you got older and had children. I always wanted to be home with my children and I have made that choice. Some women really want their career and that is great and awesome and they actually make it work. You have to make it work for you not for someone else. Good luck with your decision.

I worked before becoming a mom. After becoming a mom, I quit to be a SAHM. I felt I had to because my job was demanding and required a lot of travel, which I didn't want to do. Also, my husband switched jobs and doubled his salary, which made up for me leaving my six-figure salary.

I felt this was the right choice for us. I've been able to give my daughter a bunch of attention, and after she was diagnosed with Asperger's, I've been able to shuttle her to her therapy appointments and stay on top of everything that I need to.

The cons? The extra money would have been nice! But the biggest con, was that I felt I lost my identity. I also miss the intellectual stimulation of my old job. It was a much harder transition than I would have realized. Now that my daughter is in school, I'm finding it really hard to land part-time work. I think I'm not landing interviews because the jobs I'm applying for I'm way over-qualified for. Also, being out of the job market for so long hurts. In a tight job market, it's really tough to compete.

If I had to do it all over again, I would still stay-at-home!

C.
www.littlebitquirky.blogspot.com

I loved working but when I became pregnant I was put on bedrest, I was bummed but there was nothing I could do. I thought I'd go back after I had my son. Well I had him and never went back. For me staying home and raising my son has been the most fulfilling thing in the world. I love it, I love that I'm there for every "first" step, word etc. I love watching him grow every day. Each stage is different he is 17 months and super active. So we go to the park, have playdates. I have a lot of support from my hubby and family! Like other moms have said do you work bc you have to? If you don't have to then I'd stay home and enjoy your son. They grow so quickly