Wondering How Other Families Make It

D.,
If you would really like to change the quality of life for you and your family, I would suggest you seek help from SRS for daycare/preschool for your son while you continue to work and try to go for a college education. The best way to change your situation is to increase your earning potential with a college degree or some higher education. I know a lot of people are stuck in the same situation you are in, and life is difficult, but if you really want to change your life, go seek financial assistance from the federal government and get that degree. It truly makes a difference in your income and can improve your life dramatically. The government offers grants and loans for those who are seeking a higher education. Just remember that if you take out a student loan, you have to repay it unlike the grants. If you are planning to take out a student loan, be serious about your education and make the most out of it. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Well im S. sahm of 7 kids ages ( 4months-1-2-3-5-6-8 ) my husband brings in the income, i have homebased business but ive been away from we just moved into our new house this week so once everything is settleim going to start back up.
my husband is a truck driver .
if you 2 are willing to sacrifice he can go to truck driving school and go over the road for a year then he can find a local job or dedicated job as a trucker
if you need to tak
____@____.com

S.

Remember to Live and Love Life every single day! NEVER let anyone get you down, Life is way to short! Forgive and forget! Don't waste your time being angry. it only give you wrinkles! Believe in yourself and live everyday as it your last! Don't focus on the things that you don't have and be proud of the things that you do...A healthly Baby, A Fantastic hard Working Partner, & be thankful that you only work Part-time so you be there when DJ takes his first steps, words & all the milestones lots parents miss. Money just buys you material things, not happiness. Surprise your Boyfriend with a candle light dinner and music and just dance in your livingroom! Take DJ out for a stroller ride when the weather gets nice and visit the neighbor's Dog and see how he reacts when a Doggy licks his fingers for the first time. The Giggles are irreplacable. There are so many fun things you can do with out money. Alway make your glass Half Full, Not half empty! These are the times you will remember and charish the most.

This advice was given to me and it change my outlook on life. Hopefully it can inspire you as well... If you ever need some some advice you can always email(:

E.

Hey hun, I hear ya! We have 3 kids ages 3 and under! My husband is the only one bringing in any money and it's definately tough at times. Luckily, we got a house with a decent payment. Most people have a hard time finding an apartment paying what we pay.

I don't know what you guys have, but maybe cutting things like cable or satellite dish out of the budget. And possibly getting vehicles without payments. We own both of our cars and I honestly think that's how we are able to get by. I hope I could help a LITTLE! :) Hang in there!!

I was a waitress from age 10-27- just barely scraping by living day to day on tips. It is hard work for little pay. There is hope, but it doesn't come easy. In my state there is a workforce development that assists young adults in developing careers, furthering their education (starting with GED if necessary) and can even help to finance those goals.

I ended up going to college part time while waitressing and (finally) finished my bachelor's degree after 6 years and moved into a career where I have been for 14 years (and currently finishing up my masters degree at the age of 40). It wasn't easy. But it was well worth the effort that it took.

Good luck and have hope!!

Good luck to you!!

Sadly you can't live on minum wage and I am in the same boat. Make too much money but not enough. If you qualify for Food stamps you should also qulify for WIC it might help a little. Also in our area the YWCA has day care assistance if you qualify. Those are the only things I know about.

Don't feel bad. My fiancee works a full time job and a part time job. I can't for the life of me find a part time job that is good for my schedule because we don't have anyone to watch my 2 year old until a certain time. We are in debt and behind on our bills and LINK barely covers groceries for a month.

Hello! I saw your post and I had to reply, my husband and I are taking a Financial Freedom class at First Baptist church, we are about 3 weeks into it but if you are interested it is awesome!!!! I wold be more than happy to help you get caught up, or if you dont wanna take the class I could try to help you with it, I am certainly no expert, but since I've been taking this class I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me, my bills are paid, we have groceries, and we even started a savings account. I swear it is the best thing I've ever done. If you are interested class is sunday at 6 pm, there is a nursery, give me a call if you want and I'll give you more info! ###-###-#### R.

D.,

I also have been in this situation. My husband and I have two daughters and we live on one paycheck. To make matters worse, I have a lot of credit card debt I'm trying to dig out of.

What I have done is write all outgoing bills/expenses down on paper along with how much they are and when they are due. This will show you where your money is going every month. Go through the list and see if there are ways to decrease the cost.

Can you do without a cell phone or find a cheaper plan (pay as you go)? If you have cable, can you cancel it or move down to a less expensive plan? Can you shop at a discount store like Sams and buy in bulk (like toilet paper, paper towels, laundry supplies)? Are their ways to cut back on electricity/water usage?

I'm not sure what your expenses encompass so I'm just throwing out some possibilites. I just started selling Stuff-A-Friend to help make some money. If you are interested, it doesn't cost anything to join and there are no inventory requirements. Message me or visit my site at http://www.stuffafriend.biz/members/koriani to learn more about it.

It's so easy, my girls are doing it! They are 8 and 6. Just about any other business would cost you more money and that you don't want!

I really hope things get better for you soon. There is hope! Just don't lose site of the light at the end of the tunnel. We are finally digging out and you can too.

Hi my name is N. and I am a Sales Director with Mary Kay. I would love to share with you how you could make some extra money with a Mary Kay business. You can work Mary Kay around your family. New consultants start out by making an average of $50-$75 an hour, and you are having fun. We have no territories. So if you need to move you can take your business with you. Let me know if you would like some more information on how you could work from home.
Thanks,
N.
www.marykay.com/nbrown5
You can go to my website and click on about the career to learn more.

I wanted to share with you on what I do with my kids that is free. Check out your local library. Some libraries have storyhour. You might also be able to check out dvds or vcr tapes at no charge. Also the park I take my kids on picnics and we feed the ducks. We also go on nature walks at the local lakes or state parks. Also check and see if there is a YMCA in your area. If there is check and see if they have nursery if they do see if they are hiring. You might be able to bring your little one. Check into local playgroups. I hope this helps. When you do get to take a day trip look into the free stuff around your area and bring your own food.

You obviously have a computer. Sell things on e-bay. There was an article in Parents magazine where stay at home moms are selling things their kids have out grown and garage sale items (that they have cleaned up) on e-bay. Some of these women are making $10,000 to $15,000 a year. One lady was selling Play Station games and other viseo games (is that what they are called these days) and made $150,000 last year! This is something that you can do from anywhere! Give it a try! Good luck!

hi D.. i'm sorry to hear how frustrated you are. you definitely need a break from your worry. i recommend going to the following website
www.secret.tv

it was featured on oprah and it can change your life. you can watch it for only $5 online.

i wish the best for the future!

you know, i have four kids and this might be a good suggestion or maybe not. if you wanted to go to school you can do it for free if you don't make enough. i started going to nursing school and had to quit because i got pregnant again with my last child. i got what is called a pell grant. it pays for your schooling and your tuition. and you don't have to pay it back like other grants. it's a govt. program so poor people can get an education too. you might look into it. also, if there is any money left over after they pay your tuition, they give you a check. also, if you go to regular college, and not a vocational school, you can get them to pay for housing while you go too. just a suggestion. you might look into it, you have nothing to lose, only to gain.

I am in just about the same boat. My husband makes decent money for where we live, and we are always down to the last dollar at the end of each month. My kids are 2, 5, and 8, and not one of them has a college fund or anything. We also don't have any kind of retirement fund, or even anything saved up. We are working on changing that a little bit at a time though. My sister gave me a great idea to help budget our finances, and you don't need anything more than a piece of paper and a pen to do it. Start out by making a grid with 6 columns. In the first few rows of the first column, put down all of your income sources. Following those, write down all of your expenses, with the bills you have to pay first, then things like groceries and gas, etc. that don't have a specific cost to them. (For bills like those, estimate how much you spend. The next 5 columns are for each week of the month (the fifth week for the months that have 5 weeks, which is only for any paychecks you might recieve in that fifth week). Divide each of your bills by 4 and put that amount under each week. At the bottom of each week's column, put how much extra you have or how much you need to break even. That will help you figure out what you can cut back on. I'm kind of bad at explaining it, but if you would like me to email you an example of one, let me know and I can do that so it might make more sense.
Some of the ways that I have been able to cut back on moderately necessary things are buying my kids clothes from the sale racks at WalMart or going to consignment shops and finding clothes in good condition there for next to nothing. We usually get our groceries from WalMart, and I make a list before i go and stick to it. Look at circular ads for other places and comparison shop at WalMart for whatever you need. You can save a lot doing that. I also shop at places like Aldi's and Food 4 Less and get some good deals there. I cut back on utility costs by turning the heat off at home when no one is here. (I was bad about leaving it running all day). If you get money that you weren't expecting to get (work bonuses, cash gifts, etc.) stick it directly into savings and forget about it. Hit garage sales when you can to find toys and things rather than buying new if you have that chance. The other moms gave you some other good ideas also on cutting back on things that might not be a top priority. I hope this helps, and good luck!

Hey D., first off I want you to know you're not alone. As you can see there are many other moms like us in this situation. I can certainly empathize with you about wanting a night out and money being too tight. We try to save money by buying our kids clothes on Ebay. You can often find items still new with tags and you can get them so cheap it's ridiculous! And there are other resources for help with food, check this one out http://angelfoodministries.com/default.asp. It's a monthly thing through participating churches and for $25 you get a huge box of name brand foods (nothing outdated or damaged) that is valued around $50. And you can even use your food stamps for it.
Craigslist is a good place to look for free stuff like clothes, furniture, household items, etc..., but check daily because it goes FAST!
Don't get discouraged, count your blessings that your baby's father is still in the picture working hard for you all. I feel bad for all the single mom's out there with no help! Of course it doesn't mean you can't want a vacation or a fun date night though, right?? :) Your child is lucky to have two parents who love him and work so hard and sacrifice for him and the family. Hang in there, things will get better.

hi D.
well i would start with a budget and look at whats going out and if you can do away with any of it. such as is it a need or a want ? then look at the store and what you buy. try to plan out your meals every week and what you are gonna fix also look at your local store ads and see whats on sale and what you can make out of it. i have 6 in my family 4 of them children, i plan our meals and go by the sale ads. also check for coupons and compare it to whats on sale.
as for clothing i shop the clearance racks at walmart and places like that. also shop off season so as in spring/summer is coming buy whats on clearence for fall/winter. also buy things that can serve as different things as in when i buy my 6 yr old pants i try to get the zip off ones that way the are pants and shorts. for sizes go a couple bigger than what he is currently wearing. easy things and things that you can get 2 nights out of and lunch for your husband such as spaghetti, stew hamburger helper things like that. hope this gives you some ideas. W.

D., I feel your pain. I used to get food stamps and in low income housing. I went back to school and became a nurse. If you quit your job and went back to school you would get more food stamps. Maybe even qualify for alot of other things like day care and help with rent. Have you thought about the medical field? there are alot of opportunities there. Nursing, phlebotomy, x ray techs, surgical techs. It doesn't take but a year or less to do those things. Yes you would struggle a little more but in the end you would be so much better off. That is probably the only way you will get ahead. After you graduate and get a better paying job your husband could go back to school and the two of you would be doing so well for your family and children. Good luck in what ever you do.

As for your man... if he doesnt get into some kind of school or trade he may be doomed. As for you... take online classes... or saturday classes... financial aid would PUT you through school. You cant always rely on the now - You have to think in the future.

As for pinching pennies... you mentioned you wanted to do fun things with DJ this summer... The Zoo has one "free" day a week and you can always get together with friends and go to the park. Shop at Aldi and save on food - hook up with a church that will help... There is a food service called Angel Ministries (you should check into that).

You guys will have to get better employment to make more money... its that simple.

Check out freecycle.org and find your state and closest city and then join that website. No money changes hands but you can post things you need for your home, clothing, etc. and if someone has what you need they will email you and those who have items to offer can post offers. No buying or selling, only giving and taking and people helping each other. Hope this helps.

honestly we as parents can only do so much :)

I have 3 kids ages 1, 3, and 5 and another comming in Aug. # out of 4 of my kids were prevented pregnancies and we still got them. I am only 20 years old just graduated highschool ast year and the only job i can find is for 7.00 and hour.

Its cheeper for me to stay home then get a babysitter for my kids. Last year my husband and I together made around 24K and the year before we made alittle more than 17K. But last year didnt feel any better.

My kids dont have college funds, car funds, etc. everytime they get money for birthdays, christmas, easter, etc. I put it into there savings account. Each of my kids has a bank account they have had since they were a few weeks old. It only takes 10.00 at most banks to open a childs savings account. My inlaws did this with my husband and wen he was 16 he had enough money to buy a car and pay for the first sumester at joco.

At least its a start.

D., I can understand your frustration, but it can be done. I raised my son with no goverment help by myself as a waitress at red lobster. I had to pay for the child care, I found people that did it from there home (they don't charge as much) You might consider doing inhome day care, so people make alot of money doing that. My errands had to be done at night, weekend or whenever I had time off from work.I was never able to put the $42.00 aside for future saving while i was single. I went to garage sales, church sales. I would get discount books like entertainment, or a charity book (which you can deduct on taxes)like I bought last week so that you can get 2 for 1 dinners etc, or addmission to events or tickets. Look on the web, there are a lot of places where kids eat free. Have a drink at home before you go out to dinner, it saves money on the bill. I bought formula, clothes and coupons on ebay. Shop at save alot or some place like that.
If you have loans, you really need to get rid of them. If they are high interest and you can't seem to get them paid off, I would try prosper.com, they are real people like you and me that loan money to people to be paid off in 3 years I think.

I had no cable tv, call waiting etc... My parents taped sesame street and some other shows for me so my son had a variety of shows to watch.
Hang in there, it really is frustrating, but it can be done. Good luck!

Hi D.!
Well I only have a few ideas for you, but I hope they're helpful. As far as food goes, is there an Aldi's around you? They have cheap food and as long as the store is in decent condition, then you have nothing to worry about. They have pretty much everything you need there. They only accept cash and credit cards I believe. I know that checks are not allowed. Also, if there is a Dillons or Krogers around you they double their coupons up to $1. So you might shop there if you have coupons. Don't forget for a night out (not a fancy place at all but sometimes you just need out) Wendy's has the $1 menu. You can get fries, chicken nuggets, junior bacon cheeseburger, and various other things. If you figure you each eat two things from the menu, but drink water it's under $8 with tax and all.
For summer toys, try craiglist (this will work for clothing for DJ as well). People are always wanting to get rid of toys their kids have outgrown. Most of the time you can find great deals on these items.

I hope this at least helps somewhat. If you have any questions, just let me know! Good luck!

M.

Hi D., I am so sorry for your struggle. I too once was working in the food industry about 80 hrs a week when my oldest was a baby. It was so frustrating to have to work so much to survive. Since having two more children and never seeing my oldest while working I decided to investigate home businesses, the first 3 flopped , then I found one I have had lots of success with. I still cut coupons, plan meals, shop at resale stores, sell on ebay to help.. If you would like more info on my business please feel free to email me . I recruit state wide and our company is fixing to get lots of exposure in Oprah Mag. I live in Ada!!!
God Bless, hang in there.
D. C

We strugle too!!! it seems like we always have too much month and not enough money. We look foward to tax time every year because we use our refunds to pay down our debts like credit cards and hospital bills. I just in the last month paid off my son's hospital bill from when he was born (december 2005)I pay all of my bills the day they are due to make money stretch as far as possible, but if I slip it costs us more because of late fees...... I know I haven't offered much help but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

Aside from food stamps, there are several other services your family should qualify for. WIC until your son is five for help with food and HUD housing for rental assistance. Early Head Start now and regular Head Start once he's three will cover your daycare and preschool expenses until he goes to kindergarten and also provide dental, vision and developmental screenings. If you want to go to college, low income parents qualify for all kinds of grants and other financial assistance.

You can buy you son all kinds of toys and clothes for very little at Goodwill, The Salvation Army, and garage/church sales. I'm a preschool teacher and I find the majority of my classroom toys that way. Last week, I bought a Little Tikes piano, a Fisher Price light up baby tball set, a set of wooden alphbet blocks, two toy baseball helmets, a box of matachbox type cars, Two pairs of jeans with the tags still on them and a used but still in good shape sweater for my step daughter. I spent less than $15.00

Take a lot of trips to the park or nearby lakes. Aside from the gas in your car, these are free. Pack lunches and have a picnic. Find out if the zoo has any special family days with reduced admission. Our town also has free kiddie pools in two of the city parks.

There are a lot of things you can save around the house that your son would love to play with. My preschoolers LOVE thier toilet paper tube binoculars. We eventually had to make a set for each kid to avoid fights. They also spend hours sorting food colored noodles into empty plastic food containers and sorting different bottles caps/lids into piles. After Christmas, they cut apart used wrapping paper and ribbons. Just google seach "preschool websites" or "preschool lesson plans" There are a bazillion free websites with lots of good ideas. (my favorite is everythingpreschool.com)

I agree w/ the college reply. Unfortunatley it is hard to get anywhere w/ out a degree.

I have a bach and recently contacted University of Phoenix online to get info for masters. They told me that they give full scholarships and I could get the degree from my computer.

If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck like so many of us are, you might consider taking that leap of faith and one or both of you getting a degree.

I know it's terrifying to take on more debt when you head is barely above water. Sometimes it takes a little faith! Pray for guidance...it'll get better!!

I know it is very difficult to make a living when you are working for so little. Have you ever thought of going to college? Some nursing programs are 2 year programs, or medical assisting is even less. If you like business or teaching.... many universities offer online, weekend and night classes. You would be making an investment in your son's future by going to school. There are all kinds of grants, scholarships and aid to help you pay for school. Could your boyfriend get extra training at a trade school to get a job that makes more money in the automotive field? I hope you'll consider it and look into different programs, it really is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family. Good luck!

Have you considered moving to a bigger town with more opportunity for better paying jobs? With your boyfriends experience, it dsounds like he would be able to get on with a tire company somewhere else.
At any rate, I quit my job last year to stay at home with my son. I made very good money and we definatly miss having my income. We have basically whittled our bills down as much as we can, and I do extra things on the side, like my wedding photgraphy to help ends meet.
I have a friend who's boyfriend is an assistant manager at a movie theater and she stays home with their son. I know they do not have much income. She budgets for every penny that they spend. She also makes things like jewelry & candles and sells them on ebay. She also sells used books on ebay.
I'm not sure if this helps, but hang in there, things will get better. I know when I was growing up my parents didn't have extra money, so we never did anything outside of playing in the back yard... My husband says things like, "remember your first birthday party at McDonalds?" and I'm like, "um no, I never got to have a party there! My partys were walk tothe grocery store and buy a cake mix and have a grand old time putting frosting in the cake before you sang happy birthday and ate it!" But I didn't mind, and I really didn;t know any different or realize we didn't have money like other kids until much later, so at this point in your son's life he's probably fine just having Mom and Dad around. :o) Hang in there!

My husband & I just started a budget in Jan. We track EVERY dime we have & spend & save all receipts. This helped us see what we were really putting money on and what could be cut back & we could do without. I could send you a copy of the excel sheet we use if you would like to start there. Also I have some really good articles on how to make more money, cut what you're spending & get started saving. Let me know if you're interested.

I was just wondering if you live in an apartment. I know the government when the family makes less than $28,000 you can qualify for low income housing. You would get an apartment that would be more afortable. If you are doing that I dont know what to tell you. DO you live in missouri or kansas?
Also, which is kind of too late but when you did your taxes this year, did you qualify for the earn income credit? You might have and gotten a couple thousand back on taxes. That could have helped you maybe a bit.
Also, you mentioned that you boyfriend of husband makes $9.50 and they are the highest paid jobs. So, I am assuming you dont live in Wichita because I know there are a lot of jobs here that are labor jobs that pay more than $9.50 which if he works full time that is actually not that bad. That is probably average pay.