Whiney 4 Year Olds

I still have the same issue with my 6 year old. It's harder for a 4 year old to understand, but I try to explain the difference between a baby and a big girl when my daughter starts to whine. My daughter loves the fact that she's getting to be a big girl, so it helps some with us. One other thing I do though, is I've started threatening to take things away, like dessert. Or I've told her that if she wants to act like a baby then we'll give all her big girl toys away and start treating her like a baby again. Both of these options (and a few others we've tried) usually only work temporarily. Although, in the end, I think it's just one of those stages that they eventually grow out of. Hang in there.

My child did the same thing. When i would say no and she would ask me again, it finally got to where i would ignore the question and not respond to her if i had already answered the question and she finally stopped.

Oh Lord, not another Tyria, which is my 22 year olds name. When she was 3, she whined so good, I hoped she slept the day away. Unfortunately she didn't, b ut my way of handling it was, I told her if she couldn't talk to me without whining then I couldn't hear her. I ignore whining even with my grandchildren. It makes me want to pull my hair out!!!!!hahahaha
good luck
queen

Welp, same boat, different river... I tell mine she can't have whatever it is because babies can't do/have that and since she's talking to me like a baby, then she doesn't get it. She, too, is sent to her room. I flat out tell her that I don't have babies anymore and I'm not going to listen to a 4 yr old baby. I'm sure I'll be in "trouble" for saying that... but it's worked so far. Sure, she still does it, but she's 4. It's what 4 yr olds do best. As long as I can't hear it, I don't really care. Even when my 7 yr old comes and tattles that she is still whining and crying I tell my 7 yr old to ignore it too. Point is... in my house whining gets you NOTHING, not even attention.

Best of luck!
~K. =]

I have 3 nephews that are 10,8, and 7. For the past 2 years I have a no whining rule. If they start to whine I ask if they are whining. (That is their one warning), after that they have to do 10 push ups everytime they whine. Another mother I know ignores the whining and will ask outloud if anyone hears anything. She says she cannot hear whining so if her 3 year old wants something she has to ask nicely. That seems to work for her. The push up thing works for me with the boys. They will remind each other that they are with aunt M. and there is no whining or they have to do push ups. I have made them do push ups in public. That only happened once. What every you decide be consistant. I have a 10 mo old so we are not there yet. If you find something that works I would love to know for potential future problems. Good luck!

My daughter tried this for awhile, and I think you are on the right track with not tolerating it....I explain to my daughter that she knows how to talk right and mommy won't do anything for her until she talks to me without whining...I explain that it is really annoying and then I show an example by whining at her until she begs me to stop!

I hear ya sister!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a 4 year old daughter that was going through the exact same thing. I have found my answer!!! It worked for me.....you can give it a shot.

Everytime my daughter whines I have started telling her "I'm sorry, I can't hear you....my ears shut when you whine" It sounds harsh, but the minute I say that she tries to stop herself and re-phrase the question or comment less whiney. Now I just have to look away and say "my ears are shut" and she knows how to fix the problem. I swear this is working like a charm at my house. Sometimes I had to say it twice in the beginning. Then when she re-phrases it I really stop and listen and she knows it's a better waY to get my attention. I totally ignore her when she's whining.

Like I said harsh...but I CAN NOT STAND THE WHINING!!!!!!!!!!!! There is nothing more annoying to me than a whiny kid and I really didn't want mine to be one of those. I really works!!

I agree with all of you! :0)....I tell my almost 4 yr old grandson to use his big guy voice or I just cannot hear him and my son mimicks him when he whines to him so both seem to work depending on who he is with! lol. Hang in there! Good luck!

My son is 4 also and he does the same thing but it is getting better because when he does it i take all his toys away and his tv out of his room and put them in my room and i don't let him have them back until he proves to me that has earned them and this seams to be working for me

I have a four year old that has a similar problem but usually reacts with pouting or shouting. It is extremely annoying. I think it is conflicting for a four year old to want independence but still be mommy's baby. I try to give as much attention as possible when he is behaving the way I want, and as little as possible when it is a behavior I don't like to see.
I suppose noticing and commenting on all the occasions that your four year old does something for themselves, it helps.
Another suggestion is allowance. We started this with our four and seven year old. It really helps to remind them that they can spend their hard-earned money on what she or he wants. Usually it puts it into perspective. I was amazed at how much a quarter means to a four year old. Most of the time he is very willing to do his chores, but when he fusses, I just tell him no big deal....and that he can pay me to do it out of his allowance. It makes him feel big AND rewarded for growing up. Just an idea :-)

I have 2 whiners here, and I just don't know why they do it, since I never give in either. I guess we just keep being firm, never give in, and they keep going to bed early, and then we can go take some asprin! :P Hang in there, and if they don't grow out of it, eventually they'll move out of our houses....
Hugs,
J.

Whatever you do, don't react emotionally to this. Even the act of sending her to her bed tells her that the whining is working.

Tell her the 2nd time she asks,
"you have a choice, you can accept my answer and go play or you can choose to whine about it and be sent to bed (lose a privilege, sit in time out, whatever she loves to do most) It takes a lot of work but eventually she will stop using that form of attention getting.

Mine is the same way. With him I usually say "I can't hear you when you whine." Just say it over and over until you get a nice voice. She will learn that She doesn't get an answer until she asks nicely. Then when she doesn't like your answer, make sure you say that that is your answer and it wont change no matter what.

I understand your problem. I have the same one with my 4yo. just keep doing what you are doing she is testing you and try to see if you will give in. This is one of the few instances i use spanking. There is really no logical consequence with this and the spanking usually gets my point across at least for a few days.

Hi J., I've got a four year old boy and he sort of does the same thing. He is just very aggressive and thinks he can push and shove and yell at me until he gets his way. This is especially embarrassing when we are in the store. He started this about 2 1/2 and hasn't stopped yet. I think his problem is that he's got 5 older brothers and sisters that are kind of rough with him and so he behaves that way to be heard. The only thing that has worked with me is being firm like you have been doing. The bad thing is that it is just exhausting for YOU. It seems to get better over time if I remember right. (my kid's ages are 4,8,12,13,14,18). I think you are doing the right thing and if it difuses the situation then it's probably a good decision. I personally think from 4-8 are really bad whinney and annoying ages for children, wait till they get bigger than you and just ignore you and do what they want altogether. ;) Hang in there!!!!!!!!
M.