When Should You Stop Pre-school If Child Cries?

Hi A.: You know, a good friend told me to put my son in a little pre-school back when he was younger also. The reason, my friend said, was "to get him socialized, and used to being around other kids." I took him to Coryell's for about 3 weeks. He cried the first couple of weeks and the last week he didn't. The reason I stopped taking him was because even though he wasn't crying anymore, he still wanted to be with me. Sure, he was getting used to it, but I was at home while he was at pre-school and so it wasn't a necessity. I researched a little at what mom's in other countries do and I found that even the working mom's keep their babies and pre-schoolers with them if they can. Our country seems to be so anti-natural. I say go with how you feel. If your son misses you and you miss your son, then keep him with you. My son has been in grade school for a while now and he was fine and dandy on the first day of kindergarten. He even rode the bus to school that first day and he made friends easily. He was just ready, so there were no tears and neither of us dreaded day two or three or four...... B. ps. Every parent still needs some time to themselves, so if there's anyone your son likes to spend time with and you and your son are comfortable leaving him and your other little guy with that person, you should do that. A couple hours of doing your favorite thing without interruption can keep you sane for days or even weeks.

Take the time to enjoy him while he is still little. I am a busy mother of three. During the day when the youngest nap's I put the older two in there room for quiet time and I get a little time alone to do my nails, read a chapter in my book or write out bills. Remeber he won't be little forever! Just an idea.

Hi A.

I am a mom of 2 and have run a preschool program, so I hope this helps. You have a few things that can be going on. First of all your son is going 2 times a week, that doesn't allow him time to adjust. I know, as a mom, that you don't want to have him in preschool too much because you are Mom, but when it is too parttime you start from the beginning everytime you take him. My suggestion is taht you take him three days a week, or 5 half days. That way he doesn't have to make a huge adjustment everytime. The other thing that we found at daycare is that the crying can be a power play with kids. Once he is used to the routine, you may find he always cries while you are there, but he is done before you get to your car, because his audience has left. Does your preschool have an activity he can get involved in as soon as he arrives, such as breakfast (if it is morning), music and dancing, coloring, or even a quiet area he can sit in while he studies the situation? Don't give up on preschool, it is important for his social skills and for his self-confidence to have time away from you. I found that part-time was the perfect mix, those kids were the best adjusted since they had sufficient time with Mom or Dad, had a social life all their own, and developed better social skills. If you wait until just before kindergarten it will only be harder. I hope that helps, and remember it is ok if he cries, in the long run he will be stronger and more self confident. Good Luck!

When I started back to school, my 3 year-old started day care. Turned out that when I'd drop her off, she'd cry for hours on end and then try to climb into woman's bookshelf to hide. I paniced when I found out. It was separation anxiety gone wild. Ends up that my daughter has Asperger's Syndrome and thus the reason for her extreme emotions. I had no clue. My advice, it's totally okay to stop the pre-school. There will be kindergarden and regular school soon enough.
Just my 2 cents!
K.

preschool is overrated I have decided.... My oldest only went from January to May the year before he went to kindergarten and he is doing extraordinarily well in every aspect socially emotionally and academically. My 2 1/2 year old tried preschool for a few weeks and we had the same issue as you - cried all the time and did not want to follow their routine... pull him out and "homeschool" him.....

I have worked in day care and child care programs for about 6 years, at three different centers (we're military so we had to move.) I have seen many different children who are new the whole thing. I agree with the suggestions of others somewhat. As someone else said, stay at the center few times, but help your son be involved in activities. He needs to see pre-school as a place where he goes to have fun and see friends, not a place where mom leaves him behind. At the same time, don't push him to do things he's not comfortable with. Some kids just like to watch, and that's okay, they're still learning. You know what he is comfortable with and can play to his strengths. The fact that he has had days actively involved instead of crying shows that he has the potential to be okay everyday.
Sometimes its helpful to find a favorite toy or activity that they have at the center that your son can connect with. I had one little boy that had a hard time when he first starting coming. He would cry for his dad every time we transitioned to a different activity. One day another teacher brought in some new toys, one of which was a toy screwdriver. Andrew was delighted by this because "Dad has that." I allowed him to hold the screwdriver for the rest of the day and he was okay. We would talk about it and how Dad was coming back to get him after he was done with work. He just needed that reminder of his dad.
I worked with a lot of military families who did not have the option of pulling their kids out, so I worked hard to make sure the children would be comfortable staying with me. I never had a child that did not adjust after a few weeks. The teachers make a difference, so speak with them about your concerns. Don't let them push it aside, saying he'll be fine. They need to actively work to help him and find out what he needs to be happy there.
Good luck with everything!

I would recommend leaving him in for awhile. I used to work for a daycare and when older children (6 months +) started going to daycare when they were used to staying home with their mom, it would take weeks sometimes to get them not to cry when mom dropped them off. They would have to get used to it, the other kids, the activities, the teachers, etc. I've also been a sunday school teacher and the same thing goes there. It takes awhile to get them used to it, but once they do most kids, pre-schoolers and babies love it. I'm sure if you give him some more time he'll adjust and it probably will be a lot better for him than to just be home with baby sister. He'll probably make friends and start looking forward to going. Try to be excited, happy and encouraging when you talk to him about it. I think also talking to his teacher(s) about it, getting their opinions, and just explaining some of his needs and your concerns would help a lot too. I think the more you, his teacher(s) and him try understand each other and work together, the better experience he'll have, the more comfortable you'll feel and the more informed his teacher(s) will be to work with him. I've been on both ends, I've worked in daycare and sunday school and I have the children that cry when you drop them off (at certain age levels, not anymore). The best way for things to work well is when the teacher and parent are connected and work together for the your child to have a positive experience. I hope that this helps!

Is this a drop-off "preschool?" If so, I'd say pull him out now and find one that is less a glorified daycare (which I believe drop-off preschools are) and find one geared more toward parent education.

My son is four and attends a cooperative preschool. It has two different programs - one for toddlers (because toddlers are too young to engage in social play - so the focus is more on parent education) and the other program is for ages 3-5. The parents of three year olds usually stay both mornings (and are required to stay one morning) and the parents of the four year olds stay their required one morning (though the parents of a more insecure and clingy child will often stay both days).

I know we SAHM's are bombarded with this notion that we are depriving our children of social development, and then we also have this idea that we need to get our children into an educational environment as early as possible so they can succeed in school, but don't fall into this trap. If you speak to any kindergarten teacher, the number one reason a healthy child fails to succeed in school is because of a lack of maturity . . . not a lack of knowledge!

Since your son is crying in preschool, my guess is that this is a drop-off preschool because he almost certainly wouldn't be crying if you were with him. It really sounds as though your preschool is a daycare by a different name - and if that's what you want then more power to you. But he really is too young to engage in social play and he'll almost certainly cry for a while longer because he's lonely, surrounded by strangers (Including strange children who take things from him) and he misses his mommy). His ability to engage in social play won't start until about age 3 to 3.5

I found our first toddler program through a local community college: They offered great parent education programs and it was so nice to meet other parents and get solutions to problems. When we moved, I found that a local community college actually sponsors this preschool . . . so we get play-based learning for our children and parent education AND college credits for those who are interested.

Bring him home asap. Nobody can love your kids like you do, and if he is unhappy, why put him through it...he's better off at home with you. I pulled all four of my kids out of school and brought them home for good, and loved every minute of it!
:>) J.