24 answers

When Should Mom Step in on Middle School Student...

My 13 yr old will be in 8th grade next year. He has signed up to play football for the school in the fall; he has been playing since 4th grade. He is has been taking advance math since 6th grade, he is getting placed in advanced history next year. He elected to take an extra math class, so that he will be taking Algebra and Geometry. He also has played soccer every year since he was 4 yrs old. He loves it! I told him I don’t want you playing two sports in one season. He goes “Mom, if the high school wants me to play soccer, I want to!” I told him son you are going to have a lot going on with football and 2 math classes, on top of regular class homework. Oh one more item he is throwing on his plate is he is running for student council. We find out if he is elected the end of this week. I think he needs to slow down, and not throw so much on himself. I am very proud of his hard work, I truly am. I just don’t want him to get over whelmed. Should I not let him play soccer for the high school if they ask him? How does a mom step in and say no, when he is the one going to bat for all this? He sticks with it too, so he does not quit once he starts.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I would let him do what he wants to do, and if it ends up being too much -he's stressed out or his grades start to slip - then you will need to let him know something will need to be dropped. If you tell him no, he may just end up angry and resentful that you don't think he can handle it - if he really can't, let him find out for himself (but don't tell him "I told you so." - just be sympathetic and supportive).

I wish my stepsons were that ambitious and motivated - they always ended up quitting every activity they started, their grades are so-so and now in 10th and 12th grade, you still can't get them to do anything! The younger one will be 17 this August and he still can't be bothered to sign up for driver's ed! And the older one graduates this year, never applied to the college he was interested in (or any others) and still has no idea what his plans are for fall!

4 moms found this helpful

At least he isn't a lump on the couch playing video games! I work with a lot of students who are! Let him give it a try. If it is too much, it sounds like he would let you know.

3 moms found this helpful

Let him see how it goes... if he feels like he cannot handle it, hopefully he will not do so much at once again. He sounds like an overachiever... and that is a personality trait, not something that can easily be modified.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Sounds like a Natural Born Leader. What's his name, I'll vote for him!

Enjoy him!

:)

4 moms found this helpful

I would let him do what he wants to do, and if it ends up being too much -he's stressed out or his grades start to slip - then you will need to let him know something will need to be dropped. If you tell him no, he may just end up angry and resentful that you don't think he can handle it - if he really can't, let him find out for himself (but don't tell him "I told you so." - just be sympathetic and supportive).

I wish my stepsons were that ambitious and motivated - they always ended up quitting every activity they started, their grades are so-so and now in 10th and 12th grade, you still can't get them to do anything! The younger one will be 17 this August and he still can't be bothered to sign up for driver's ed! And the older one graduates this year, never applied to the college he was interested in (or any others) and still has no idea what his plans are for fall!

4 moms found this helpful

Let him go for it. I teach AP classes in high school. I have LOTS of students who are two or three sport athletes and in multiple advanced courses. They are usually the ones that do the best in my class. Just be active in monitoring his schoolwork and his behavior/attitude towards it all.

4 moms found this helpful

Mom, Let him do it. I bet he will do great.

We know many, many, extremely active and bright students who have always played a sport every season, been on numerous clubs, class President at school and on top of it all were in the top 10% of their class with grades. , even had parent time jobs and did just great at all of it.

Always follow your child's lead. Never assume, they cannot do what they want to do.

Just hold on, you are going to have a go getter probably for the rest of his life..

4 moms found this helpful

It sounds like he handles everything on his plate. He's obviously not a kid you need to micromanage. I know kids who handle more than that. Let him do it.

3 moms found this helpful

My daughter is in Middle school does 2 sports, takes accelerated courses, volunteers in the community, student council, and then some. I told her that she can continue to do whatever she wants as long as her grades don’t start to slip. Once that happens, one thing goes at a time.

She has been managing just fine and I tell her everyday how proud I am of her.

Your son will be fine too.

3 moms found this helpful

At least he isn't a lump on the couch playing video games! I work with a lot of students who are! Let him give it a try. If it is too much, it sounds like he would let you know.

3 moms found this helpful

Let him see how it goes... if he feels like he cannot handle it, hopefully he will not do so much at once again. He sounds like an overachiever... and that is a personality trait, not something that can easily be modified.

2 moms found this helpful

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