August 10, 2008,
L.W. asks from Endicott, NY on July 29, 2008
When Do You Know Your Ready for Baby # 2?
I have a huge question I hope you ladies can help me with... My daughter will be 3 in September and I want to try for baby # 2, but the problem is I am so scared too.. I am afraid that I have forgotten everything, and then I worry about how my daughter will react. So tell me how do you know when your ready for baby # 2.
2 moms found this helpful
So What Happened?™
Well I want to thank you all of you for your wonderful and encouraging responses. My husband and I have decided to try for baby #2. Our daughter will be 3 in a few weeks. Thank you all for responses, because of them I feel like I can do it now..
B.R. answers from New York on July 30, 2008
I had my girls 3 1/2 apart. I talked to my fist and asked if she wanted a sister or brother. she was about 3. I explained what would haooen and she was thriled. She was such a wondeful big sister and they are still close at 22 and 25. I couldnt be more proud!!!!!!!!!
L.L. answers from New York on July 30, 2008
Hi L., I am having this same problem. My son will be 14 months old next week and everyone- friends, family, peers, are pressuring me to start trying for # 2. I always thought that I wanted my children close together, one right after another, but the truth is- It's hard having just one and I'm just not ready. (plus- my husband travels and is gone Monday-Friday!) It sounds like even though your daughter is close to 3, that you're not quite ready either? Some people will tell you to just "go for it" and that there's "never any perfect time to have a baby" but I like to say this: don't do it if you're hesitant. You don't want to end up resenting the baby. We are the ones who have to carry child and then deal with all the hormones before/after the child arrives, so if you're even just a teensy bit resentful, that could affect your family in a negative way. I know that despite everyone's best efforts to get me pregnant again, I'm going to wait until I know I'm ready. (oh and also, ignore the ones that say that the further your children are apart in age, the more they'll dislike eachother. I've got siblings ranging from 3 years to 10 years apart and we LOVE eachother dearly!)
That's my advice! I hope that helps. Good luck in deciding when to start trying again.
1 mom found this helpful
N.B. answers from Jamestown on July 30, 2008
Try talking to your daughter about if she wants a baby brother or a baby sister. Get a feel for what she thinks about it but don't let that be a deciding factor if she says no.
You won't forget about what/how to do it. My youngest daughter is 13 years younger than her brother. I thought I would forget...a few things I "overlooked" but it all came back to me.
Worrying is easy to do...trust that if God has another child in your future, all will work out.
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K.H. answers from Utica on July 30, 2008
I think I can alleviate your fear.
When my boys were 13 & 17 I found out we were having twins. I can tell you, you don't forget, and everyone adjusts.
As far as when you are ready -- no one can tell you that.
Those are decisions better made with your husband before the Lord God. Ask Him for wisdom in your decisions
God bless your lovely family
K. SAHM of 4 -- 37,32 & twins 18(homeschooled and headed to college in the fall). Our younger son and his wife made us Grandparents yesterday for the first time. What a blessing!
S.C. answers from New York on July 30, 2008
PRepare your daughter for a sibling before the new arrival comes. You will know when you are ready and you will not forget everything. It comes naturally.
C.P. answers from Rochester on July 31, 2008
When baby #1 is potty trained!!! LOL!!!
No, seriously, I just went through this myself. I questioned myself for a few months about having another baby and then, I just got this desire that I absolutely needed another baby. I let that desire last a couple of months to make sure I was ready to commit, and then viola! baby #2 was here. You will know when you are ready.
My kids are 3 1/2 years apart and it's wonderful!
T.D. answers from New York on July 30, 2008
Good Luck for one. I have 4, 6 years from beginning to end. I don't regret it one bit, and I just knew it was time. You don't forget what to do, and if you do, it doesn't matter. Every baby is different. I stress that!!!! As for your older child, they just seem to fall into place. They will have their moments, just like now, it will just be different moments. I came from a family of 4 kids, and I loved having my brothers and sisters around.
I hope you stay with your heart, and have fun doing it. We needn't worry about life!
S.D. answers from New York on July 30, 2008
i remembered something a friend with children told me when i was debating getting pregnant with my first. she said "you're never going to be 100% ready -- wait until you're more than 50% ready, then jump right in!" its now 4 years later and i have 2, and life has been wonderful! my daughter adjusted beautifully, and loves the baby to pieces. really the best gift you could ever give your child! good luck with your decision
C.B. answers from Syracuse on July 30, 2008
L., if you feel in your heart that you are ready for baby #2 then you are ready and trust me you haven't forgotten anything because it will all come back. It's the natural instinct of being a mother. I am a mother of two myself, my son just turned 8 years this July and my daughter will be 4 this August. She was a planned pregnancy because I felt that my son was old enough to have had his time with mom and and he wouldn't be jealous of the new baby. Turns out I was right. Besides one incident in which he took the scissors and chopped her hair (that wasn't funny at all because it took all of two years to grow what little hair she had) everything worked and is working well. Josh was always a big helper with the baby and there was never any jealousy on his part. It is also always good to have a two parent household so you both can share the responsibilities. What I'm saying is you're in control of the situation because you are planning your own timetable and you'll also be amazed at how big your heart will get when you have two children because the love just keeps growing. Trust me, get ready for your little helper pitching in and wanting to do everything. That's how my daughter is and I knew if I had her first she would have driven me nuts because she always wants to do everything. Good luck!!