When Do I Tell My New Employer I Am Pregnant?

Updated on September 19, 2011
E.O. asks from San Francisco, CA
16 answers

I have been working as a nanny for about five years and was contacted at the end of July by a family who was looking for a nanny for their newborn son due on Labor Day. I went for the interview and was offered the position at the beginning of August which I accepted. We signed a work agreement on August 17th with a start date of October 3rd. About a week after signing the contract, I found out that I am pregnant. I am supposed to start work in less than two weeks (I'll be 9 weeks pregnant at the time) and I am not sure when I should inform them that I am expecting. I would like to work for them right up until I am due at the beginning of May and then return to work after a short maternity leave. This job is the nanny job I have always wanted (On the books, Paid holidays, Paid Vacation, Guaranteed hours, etc.) and I don't want to compromise it. I was thinking about telling them about a month into working for them at the end of my first trimester but I am open to suggestions. When is the best time to let them know and do you think they will want to find a different nanny? All feedback is appreciated.
Additional Info: In my interview we had an in depth conversation about life outside of work and more specifically their flexibility to have other childcare providers fill in hours when needed. I used to run my own nanny placement agency and have a large network of qualified nannies who will help to cover my hours when I go on maternity leave. They were very open and appreciative of this idea and I think their access to other caregivers through me contributed to why they hired me.

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Featured Answers

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I think you should tell them right away. You don't know how you'll feel or what type of issues could arise so you need to notify them. If they start to notice or something happens then it would look like you were trying to hide it.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't see why this job is different from any job. And my standard answer is - when you start showing enough so that they would notice. It sounds like you've already discussed options for any time you would need to spend away.

You would hope that they would allow for a fill-in nanny for a maternity leave, just as they would for any short-term leave you would require for any reason. But, you can't control what their response is, as any employer can fire any of us for any reason, or no reason at all, in this country.

More Answers

A.H.

answers from Tulsa on

I think it's only fair to tell them now. What are you planning to do with your child after you have him/her? Likely they were not planning on having your child along while taking care of their child. I would not want to hire a nanny for 6 months, have them go on maternity leave, and then come back with their child to look after. Too much change for their child's routine. I'm sure when you suggested other nannies to fill in, they were thinking a day here, a day there, not weeks at a time when you are on leave. The timing is awful, but like the other mom's have said, put yourself in their shoes.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

I think you should tell them now. This is a bit different than working at an office, there child is involved. And lets face it when you are pregnant or even after you have your baby ANYTHING can happen as far as your time off. This is not fair to your new employer or their child if something unforeseen happens. I guess it's the old saying 'put yourself in their shoes' and do the right thing.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

When would YOU want to know, if you were them??

I would want to know now, personally.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Tell them now. They probably also thought they had found the nanny of their dreams. but the nanny of your dreams does not go off and have a baby and take maternity leave and bring a new baby back with her all in less than the first year you have her. They may be fine with it. then again they may decide to go with someone else and that is not a bad thing on their end. just as it is not a bad thing your having a baby. just needs to be open for all. don't let their kid/kids get used to you only to have them let you go a month in over this.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

First of all, congratulations! Your question is a tough one. If I were the parents I would want to know NOW. Although I understand that you want/need this job, you are forming a relationship with their baby, and if you don't tell them now, whenver you do, will likely be upsetting to them. Since you can't hide it for more than a few months or so, I'd be honest with them now... best of luck!

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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

Wow, I would really be upset if I hired someone only to find out immediately that they were pregnant and would need to take time off so quickly. I know that it's not the politically correc answert, but any time that you would need to take off for doctor's appointments (and there will be quite a bit of time) is time that I would need to either take off for work or find alternative care. Either of which would likely to cost me more money one way or another. There is also the matter of your maternity leave. I have to find someone else to cover the time you would be off. What if you ended up with some sort of pregnancy complication god forbid? Then I am having to find alternative care on very short notice. I might be willing to work with all these things for someone that had already been watching my child for a while and had a relationship established. However, I probably wouldn't appreciate having to do that for someone that is not already established in my child's life. I think that you owe it to these parents to make the choice of what is best for your child....

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G.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Congratulations!! I would tell them now. It gives them a chance to find someone to take your place when needed. If they want to find someone different right from the get-go, that sucks, but it's their choice. I don't know much they like you already (I mean, you DID get the job *smile*), but they may keep you on for as long as you're able to work, then ask you back when you feel comfortable taking on the added responsibility.

As a mom, I would want the person watching my kids (and working for me) to be as open and honest as a family member would be... and maybe even more so. And I would definitely want to know ASAP if I was going to have find a replacement (even a temporary one) in a few short months.

Good luck! I hope it all works out for you :)

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Well I guess the real question is how do you expect your role as a nanny to be different when you are pregnant and have the baby...if at all. I kind of agree with DM that if these people hired you as a nanny and didn't know you had plans of getting pregnant (and maybe you didn't) they probably have certain expectations. Are you going to want to keep working after you have the baby are you going to want to bring your baby along to their house, are you going to get a babysitter so you can nanny their child...etc.? These are all questions that they will be wondering and if you didn't discuss this as an option it may affect whether or not they still want to hire you.

I know you said you do want to keep working but even for a short maternity leave they are going to have to find other help. How meticulous are these people, how long did it take to hire you, etc....you see what I'm saying? It may work out perfectly and maybe they are super flexible and easy going, but I think you ought to tell them fairly soon! Good luck...and of course...CONGRATS!!! ;)

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A.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with others that you should tell them now. If this is really a dream job, then you will all continue to communicate on an open and honest level about everything relevant.
Don't take it personally if they decide to find another nanny for the position. They are facing their own stresses and might rather have a situation that feels more stable for them.
If that happens, you will find another "perfect" situation-- maybe one that better fits your new lifestyle.
Good luck to you.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

personally I would wait until my second trimester...but if you have already signed a contract legally they cant fire you unless you are unable to perform your duties as required & then there is some flexibility...I think that you should figure out what kind of time of you will need & what you plan to do after baby is born & if there are any complications...then you can go to them with specifics and let them know your plans

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N.J.

answers from San Francisco on

I know it is taking a chance on maybe losing this "dream job", but honesty is always the best policy and if you tell them later.."oh, by the way...." they will always think you are capable of withholding important information from them. I have been a nanny and know how you feel about the possibility of getting a dream job with a newborn..I hope it works out for you and them and your new baby!!

N.

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

They may want to find a different nanny if you are planning on having your child with you during the hours you are caring for their child. Personally, I would tell them prior to the start date if I were planning on caring for my baby while on nanny duty. That way, if they were not comfortable with it, they could begin looking for a replacement and I could begin looking for a better fit with my situation.

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

I would wait until you are out of your 1st trimester.

S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I would wait until the start of your second trimester. That way you can feel out the parents for a while and get an idea of how they will take the news.

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