Change Jobs Before Trying to Have a Child?

Updated on May 14, 2010
F.K. asks from Hayward, CA
13 answers

I have been at my current job for one year now and do not like it one bit. However, I am comfortable and my husband and I are looking to conceive by the end of the year. Should I continue looking for a new job even with a child in mind or continue at my position and just plan to quit once I am close to giving birth? I wasn't planning on taking maternity leave anyway since I wanted to be a SAHM for the first year. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Advice?

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So What Happened?

Many thanks to all those that answered. My job is purely boring and not at all stressful. I sit behind a computer screen most of the day. Even though I'm unhappy with my job I will wait until I get pregnant (however long that may take) before I make any moves. I do have a back-up, part-time job on the side though that I can rely on for some income if I do decide to quit. Thanks again!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Jobs are very difficult to find in this economy. However, until you are pregnant, I would continue looking.

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H.A.

answers from Dallas on

Stay where you are. If you qualify for FMLA and have benefits there -- for 3 months of your leave you can collect disability pay. If you haven't opted in and enrollment is coming up -- sign up for it! 3 months of 66% pay for being home with your baby is pretty nice.

Plus it will look better on your resume to have a job for 2 years then one job for a year and another for almost a year. If you know you're going to stay home, why burn bridges with a new place you may really like?

Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

That is up to you. You do not know how long it might take you to conceive, hopefully not long, but you also want to be fair to your employer. Some companies might not want to hire someone knowing it will not be for long. You could consider looking for a temporary position that you might like more and discuss your situation if you are offered a job. I did return to work after both of my children (at six weeks) but started my current job when I was 10 or 11 weeks pregnant. I let them know once I was past the first trimester. I think sometimes women look at employment and children as being at odds with each other--try to think about how you would approach it expecting any change, like if you knew you might be moving in a year and a half or something. Think what you know you can offer a new company or bring to a new position, but be fair and realistic.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hello F., I have to minds to answering your question. 1. as the mother of 5 and 2. as a working mother that owned her own business as well as having worked for others.
In this age if you have a job many will say its crazy to leave it, but I can tell you that getting a job while pregnant or quitting shortly after the training period is also not a postive thing. As a boss, I was hesitant to waste time on someone I didn't think I could depend on, and as a working mother I had to be flexable enough for my children esp having one with disabilities. Consider making a change of attitude towards your work and work place and see if that helps. I found that no matter how bad the place if I had a good attitude it wasn't so bad anymore. As a mother-- I was blessed to have a husband that could afford to have me stay home I just wanted to be doing something partime to have a change. Then I was never not able to be with my children and all thier activities. Being a stay at home mother is a wonderful thing and well worth the sacrifices of the things you won't be doing to be there with your children.
I say stick it out and take what ever maternity leave you can and then make a decision becasue what if your husband were to loose his job in the meantime.
Best Wishes on the desire to be a parent. I can honestly say that it is the greatest thing that I have ever done.

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A.P.

answers from Boston on

That depends, if you really want to stay just for the short term disability benefits then stay, but if you don't care about that and your comfortable financially then I would keep looking for another job. It also depends how miserable your at this place, is it downright awful or just a little boring? It could take a little while to even get pregnant once you start trying, then another 9 months of being pregnant. That could mean another 2 years at this place for all you know. I say switch, its better to be happy.

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

just stay at your current job - work up until the 4 weeks before when they can put you on disability- take your 4 weeks before and 6 - 8 weeks after (depending on type of delivery) plus your 6 weeks of paid FMLA ~ and then stay home until you feel like working again......I don't think that it would be fair to whoever you go to work for to accept a job knowing that you are trying to get pregnant and not planning on going back to work afterwards. From a management perspective, it takes a lot of time and $ to train a new person, and you really don't want to go through all of that and then have someone leave shortly after and have to do it all over again. I guess if you want to disclose in your interviews that you plan on getting pregnant and not returning to work then it would be ok - but I don't think that you should give people the impression that you are planning to be there long term. Just my opinion.....Hope that helps you make your decision~ Good Luck w/your pregnancy and motherhood ~ Children are a Blessing!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

2 things to think about here....

*Does this job completely stress you out, or is it just not exciting?
If you are beyond stressed out, you will have a terrible time conceiving, and if by chance you DO conceive in the near future, stressed out while growing a child can be a really bad thing for both of you. If your job is just b-o-r-i-n-g, then you should stay until you are ready to have the baby.

*Is your boss a total jerk?
Nobody wants to think that this could happen but it does every day, (it did to me)...pregnancy can affect your job stability. My employer cut my hours the week I told him I was pregnant. I was so naive to think that it was good news for everyone to know. Within a month, my hours went from 40+ per week to 5. This was in CA, NOT in TX. Just throwing that out there. I filed a complaint with the EEOC but they are too backed up, I never heard back. I went in for an interview for another job and I think the lady could see that I was pregnant so I wasn't hired, despite my 7 years of experience in the field. Bad luck for me!! I just waited a few mos and got a part time job after my little one was born.

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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

You never know how long it may take to become pregnant. For our first it took right at a year, but our third was an oops (wanted a 3rd but just started new job). I think you look now if you are this miserable with your current. Are you miserable because of the work, company, boss or co-workers? Is your company large enough that if the problem is the boss or work that you could move to a different section?
My previous employer went bankrupt and closed. I have been blessed to find a work from home job which has given me a huge benefit of being active in our kids' daily lives and continue to bring in income.

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A.T.

answers from Stockton on

I could be wrong - but I think you have to work at a company for 6 months to qualify for leave benefits. I stocked up on my sick days and vacation days scheduled vacation starting on my due date and then called in "sick" to my boss - he was a good friend and THEN used FMLA so I got almost 3 months of pay - plus I workd on commission so I got some residual checks.
My boss knew what I was up to and helped me deal with HR. ;) THEN I quit.

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G.B.

answers from Boise on

Just know this: the depression is going to get worse. Leaving a job now will mean you will be out of work, you won't find another.

Numi in Fremont just laid off 30,000 people! Those are all people now out looking for jobs in your area. Several other local companies also were affected that supply Numi (tires manufacturers , etc). Try to stay working for as long as possible, especially if you need that income.

My husband left a job in Ca 5 months ago and we moved to Boise. There is NOTHING here on the job listings. I mean- nothing.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

OK, so I used to adminster benefits...it's unlikely that you would be eligible to get 3 mos of paid maternity leave.

However, since you've been in your job for over a year already, you MAY be eligible for FMLA. So, since they already know your performance, you could try to get pregnant, ride out your pregnancy, and then take your maternity leave. Your maternity leave is a paid, short term disability (STD) (medical leave). So it is dr approved - usually 6 weeks for vaginal delivery, 8 weeks for c-section. Now, if you're eligible for the FMLA, it will likely run concurrently with the STD. FMLA would give you up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave, securing your job level with the company in the event you want to return. It is considered "bad form" to resign from your job while out on leave of absence - although it does happen. They may consider your last day worked, as your final date with the company. And it MAY burn your bridges as far as using work people as references.

I second the notion that if you are planning on not returning to work after the birth of your child, give yourself a timeframe to get preganant. Say 6 mos. If it doesn't happen in that timeframe, look for a different job. You never know how long it may take. And if it's stressful, it may contribute to fertility issues.

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J.G.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I started looking for a way to stay at home when I was pregnant, and I finally found it towards the end of my pregnancy (my son is 3 weeks old, now) and I am able to work from home, and still make money and be a SAHM. It's been great! I'd love to get you information, if you'd like www.workathomeunited.com/joycita or send me an email with a good time/day for me to give you a call, and I'll get you all the information that I can - there's some great overview presentations about what exactly it is that we do. I really enjoy what I do, and I'd love to help you get started. Have a great day!
J.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

If you're planning on quitting when you are close to giving birth and are looking to conceive, I think you should just stay where you are. It's really not fair to a new employer to hire you just to have you quit in less than six months. Also, in this economy where people are desperately looking for work, I don't think it would be right for you to take a job knowing you don't plan to stay when there is no doubt someone out there who is looking for a long-term position. Finding work right now is not easy; I think you should not only consider yourself, but the people who won't be getting the job because you do which is fine if you plan to stay but knowing you're not in it for the long haul, you should leave the position to someone who is.

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