13 answers

When Can I Move After a C-section?

I'm due to have our second baby by c-section (the first was also cesarian) on April 28th. My husband has taken a new job in Cincinnati and although they'd want him to start as soon as possible, we had thought it better to start mid-June at the earliest. We'll have to move there and we have no friends or family in that area. Yesterday, my husband told me they wanted him to start June 2nd and he accepted. He felt like he didn't have a choice. I am really distressed about this. My first c-section was really difficult to recover from (we live in a 5-level townhouse with a ton of stairs) and I'm expecting this one to be no easier. My OB has said that 8 weeks after the baby is born is the soonest that I or the kids should move. That is the end of June. We have a 2 year old that obviously still requires a lot of attention, so the thought of being on my own here for a month, still recovering from surgery, without my husband to help with overnight feedings, and to have our house on the market at the same time, is beyond overwhelming to me. I suppose that we could move with him in early June, but I am afraid that is too early for my recovery and for the baby, who will be just 4 weeks. Also, we're moving into corporate housing for the time being and we'll be looking for a new house as well. I know that for my husband to have agreed to this start date without consulting me first was wrong and that is an issue we are working on, but that is not the part that I'm asking about so please refrain from calling him names :)

My question is, in your experience, when do feel is the best and safest time to make huge changes like this after having had surgery, with a newborn and a toddler? Is it going to matter ultimately if we move as a family after 4, 6 or 8 weeks? Am I better off at home with my friends and family for help but without my husband, or in Cincinnati with my husband (at work) but with no friends or family?

I am really distressed and scared by all this. Thanks in advance for your advice.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you so much for all your thoughtful advice. I agree that I'll be better off here with the kids and the support of friends and family. And, I guess I didn't realize that just because my husband has a "start date", that doesn't mean I have to impose one on myself. We'll move down when we're healthy and ready. He should be able to come home on weekends, so we'll just make the best of it.

It's really great to have other moms' support to help get through a challenging time. I hope that the Mamasource community in Cincinnati measures up to the one here!

Featured Answers

If possible I would move before the baby comes! unless you are goign to have help it is way too much to do alone.
good luck
J.

More Answers

Hi, having had 2 c-sections, I can relate. What was strange is that after my first c-section, it took like 6-7 weeks to fully recover, but the second one, it took like 3 weeks. There really is no set time.
I would definitely stay here where you have the help of family and friends to recover. There is no need to rush to another city so you can stay by yourself with a new baby and toddler. We moved here from Florida before I had twins (we also had a 4 year old). My husband commuted for awhile and then my son and I moved up later.
Just try to get as much help as possible-someone staying during the day, maybe a few nights during the week, even paying a nanny, if you can.

Good luck!!

You can move whenever you need to. I moved at 8.5 months pregnant, even though the doctor warned me against it. If you have family at home that is willing to help you, and you are very scared of moving, take their help and meet your husband a few weeks later. If not, bite the bullet and go. If you take the travel nice and slow, you won't put yourself or the kids in danger.

Your husband was faced with a difficult decision. Don't be so hard on him. If you say mid-June, and he had to take June 2, that's only a few weeks difference. Is that worth losing a job over? This is not the greatest economy when it comes to finding jobs. Don't lose sight of the big picture! You need to do what is best for your family in the long term. That might mean sacrifices in the short term.

E....

I have had 2 c-sections as well. My oldest daughter is 4 1/2 and my second daughter is 2 1/2. My gut is telling me that you guys should not move until you are healed.

If you absolutely have to move for your husbands job by June 2nd (if his company can't make a compromise), you should move with him and get a neighbor or family members to keep your house clean/dust free/staged for sale/etc. Even go so far as to move your stuff at a later time...When you are actually feeling 100% again.

You will need your husband, and since the stress of selling a house is in-and-of itself an extremely difficult thing to do these days, you should not be there to handle that alone with a newborn and a toddler. The entire time it takes to heal (about 6 weeks) is the time it will take you to get used to the idea of having 2 children...The lack of sleep is tremendous, and to add moving and selling a house to that equation is really tough.

My advice is to not underestimate how hard the transition is from having one child to two.

Hi E.....
you actualy already know the answer to your question...stay put until you feel you can move away from the support and family and help you have and will need before to pack up house and after baby is born to tend to them both... he is loving and supportive , he will handle and deal with this ... good luck with new baby and move..D.

Your second section will be a million times better than your first.

My first section was an emergency after almost 20 hours of labor. Recover was awful, I could barely hold my baby for the first 6 weeks. I had my second child in April and had a scheduled section. I was up and walking around and showered the next day. I was ready to start running again after 4 weeks. I felt so good and so much better than with my first. I also had an active 2 year old. Other than not being able to lift him for 6 weeks (4.5-5 I kind of cheated because I felt so good) I had no problem taking care of him. We live on the third floor and I took him out to playgroups and doctors visits by myself.

Hi E.,

I had a c-section myself in Nov 2006. I was pretty stiff (not able to stand up straight) for a few days). I didn't really listen to what my ObGyn said and moved a little more than I should. I had to drive to the doc appointments because my husband had to go to work. I just moved really really slow. I would think if you can drive to Cincinnati that may not be so hard on your body. Can someone come and stay with you? Or maybe a live-in nurse? Not sure of the cost. Or a live-in nanny looking for a temporary job?

Good luck with everything. Just think of your new little baby :o)

I moved about 5 weeks after my second child was born, via c-section. We were actually supposed to move 3 weeks after, but my litte one was born early (I went into labor but still had a c). Life was crazy, but we survived. I was happy we were together and I think you'll probably need the moral support of your husband. When we moved, we moved my 2 year old to a bed and that went surprisingly well. I healed pretty quick though obviously wasn't too helpful with the packing, unpacking. I am sure whatever you decide will be the right decision.

If possible I would move before the baby comes! unless you are goign to have help it is way too much to do alone.
good luck
J.

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