Vaginal Birth Vs. C-section Due

Oh My Goodness! I cannot BELIEVE these responses! How very sad that we have so many women who doubt their bodies and thier own power to give birth. What a world we live in.
S., my best advice to you is get thee to a MIDWIFE who will protect the integrity of your perineum and honor your body's ability to birth NORMALLY. If you want to talk more about your options for different care, feel free to email me personally and I will give you my phone number. Good luck to you, hun.

1 mom found this helpful

My very good friend had the same exact thing happen to her with her first so when she got close to her due date with her second they scheduled her to be induced 2 weeks early. She is going to have these problems regardless because of her difficult delivery with her first. I had 2 vagingal births (9 lbs 4 oz at 41 weeks and 4 lbs 7 oz at 34 weeks) and one emergency c-section (6 lbs at 35 weeks). My c-section experience was absolutely horrible and to me very frightening. Perhaps it had something to do with it being an emergency, not sure. I know of several people who enjoyed theirs. My recovery was terrible and oh so painful and I felt as if I was cheated from my birth experience. It was extremely difficult for me to care for my 3 year old (at the time) because I wasn't able to lift more than 10 pounds. I was very fortunate to have my grandmother be able to come live with us for 6 weeks. In my own personal opinion I feel as if vaginal birth is the way it's supposed to happen and unless it's medically necessary (to save someone's life - like my son's) a c-section has way far too many more possible complications. That said, it is again just my own personal opinion. You need to do what's right for you and for your family and go with your gut. Good luck to you and congratulations on your second precious child!

Hi S.. I had an almost identical situation as yours. My first son was 9lb 4oz, 3rd degree tear, very long labor (21 hours) and 4 hours of pushing. I also was concerned with my second child. I had a great and EASY second delivery. My daughter was also 9lbs 4oz and was delivered with absolutely no problems. A small tear and only a 4 hour labor total! My doctor said that my son paved the way and so even though she was the same size my body was ready for her.

I would definitely take your doctors advice and concern to heart but also trust that your body can do this and hopefully it will be easier the second time around.

Best wishes
Amy

i had a c-section. the recovery was nothing compared to what you went through recovering from your vaginal birth. i recommend that you go with the c-section. yes, there is a recovery time of approx 6 weeks but better than 9 months. you do have to remind yourself (and those around you!!)that a c-section is major surgery and you have to let yourself heal. for the first week you are home, you need assistance. especially since this is your second baby. you don't realize how much you use your stomach muscles...until you can't. you shouldn't lift more than a gallon of milk and you really need to "baby" yourself to cut down on your healing time. the more you over do it...the longer the healing time.

good luck with your decision. and make sure you dr gives you all the tricks to help with your healing. like HOW to get up off a bed or couch...roll!!! don't sit straight up and put that strain on your stomach and HOW you should hold a pillow over your stomach if you have to cough. even these little tricks will help you stay more comfortable. and keep up on your pain meds!!

take care!!

Hello,
I had a baby in May and ended up having a C-section after 48 long hours of trying. My advice is trust your doctors. I had complete faith that my doctor did EVERYTHING possible for me to deliver vaginally. It just didn't happen and my health was at risk. I read some of the other posts and the comment was made that the doctors "like to make money". I don't really agree with that at all. If your trust your doc (and I'm sure your do), go with the C-section. It really is not that bad. You have to weigh the risk of long term health problems and having a vaginal birth. Long term health won out for me.

Good Luck

Yes, I went through something similar with a very traumatic first birth. Then I had a c-section for my 2nd child. Let me tell you that a c-section is SO much better! No question! I thank God almost every day that I had a c-section. However, recovery from the c-secion was horrendous for the first week, but looking back on it, that was nothing compared to the 9 months or so of recovery from the vaginal birth. After the first week, things quickly got better, though I was reluctant to have my older child sit on my lap, hug me, or bump into me for a few more months. Actually, I think you're fortunate that they're giving you a choice. When I got pregnant with my 2nd one about 5 years ago, I had to BEG for the option of a c-secion because my excessive bleeding, pain, bathroom/tampon issues, and psychological trauma were not considered "medically significant." The doctor tried to convince me that this time, she'd be able to control the bleeding better and that this birth MIGHT be better than the last one! She was finally persuaded by my psychological trauma.
Best of luck! You can write back if you'd like!

I had a similar experience with my first birth, although my son was not 9 lbs. Recovery was tough, but I hear a first c-section recovery will be worse in other ways. For my second birth, I labored on a birthing ball instead of the bed, which I highly recommend. My induced labor for #2 was shorter, I did not get an epidural, and I only pushed a couple of minutes. I had a small episiotomy, but recovery was MUCH EASIER than with my first. I do have some urine incontinence if I cough forcefully with a full bladder, but there is not much evidence showing c-sections will help you avoid this, especially since you already had one vaginal birth. C-sections come with serious risks. I would avoid one, as your second birth will likely be easier than your first. You don't want the long c-section recovery either, now that you will have two active kids to look after. From all my friends who've had c-sections, they all complain they can never loose their mom-pooch, even the fittest ones, so there's a vanity reason to avoid it too.

I had c-section with both kids and my recovery wasn't that terrible. I was up and walking around 12 hours later. Slowly walking around but the sooner you get up and walk to the bathroom, down the hall, the better. Based on what happened to you with #1 I would definitely do a c-section. If you do have a c-section be prepared for pain from gas. This was the hardest part for me. I had pain in my shoulders on one side the first night from so much gas that got in my body when they opened me up. Doesn't happen to everyone but I didn't know what it was with my first.

Good luck and I hope this birth experience is much easier.

Hi S.,

It sounds like a healthy vaginal birth is an option for you. A couple of thoughts, if you'd like to deliver vaginally:

1. Second births *tend* to be much easier than first births

2. Start perineal massage now. http://parenting.ivillage.com/pregnancy/plabor/0,,midwife...

3. Hire a doula (check with your insurance company about covering the cost). A doula can make sure you're moving about during labor, and get you in the best possible position(s) for pushing. It would be worth asking doulas how they can help you control the pushing so that you don't tear. http://www.dona.org/

4. if you're interested in birthing your second child vaginally, you might want to post this same question on this group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/BirthOptionsAlliance/

I'm not a trained birth professional, but many of the women on that group are.

C-Sections, while nearly routine in this country, are still abdominal surgery and take 6-8 weeks recovery. If you have stairs in your home, you will not be able to climb them for a while, or be able to lift some things. Also, if you're planning to breastfeed, a c-section will limit your options of positions.

Good luck!
J.

Hi, although I gave birth by C-section I would recommend it to you. Most women think, I dont know why, that if they have a C-section its not natural, but in my opinion I did not want to go through that pain and that's ok, I don't know why some women think that they "Have to go through all that pain to give birth" to me that is not natural. Your first concern should be your health and body and I would not risk having another tear, along with having the problem of being inconsistent. You don't want that. I would sugget you have the C-section its better for your body and you would not put yourself at risk.

Hi S.!
Your situation sounds a little like mine except my son's birth ended up being by c-section, which was a decision we made at the very last minute because my induced labor wasn't progressing. He tipped the scales at 9 pounds, 14 ounces!! Thank God my husband made the call to go for the c-section, because after seeing how big our baby was, the doctors said that I would have had traumatic vaginal injury if I'd tried to push him out!! I have 3 kids now...1 by vaginal delivery and 2 by c-section and I thought the recovery from my c-sections was much easier. The worst thing about my first c-section was the fear of being cut open while still awake, but it was not nearly as bad as I'd imagined!
In my opinion, I would not risk long term injury to yourself for another vaginal delivery! If your doctor says c-section, it's probably for a good reason. After all, it doesn't really matter how our babies come into the world, right?

I had a terrible time too giving birth to my son, now 14 months. They eventually had to use a vacuum extractor to get him out and I nearly died from the hemorraghing afterward. I did the whole thing without anesthetics and he was beautiful and alert when he was born, but the first thing I said to my husband when I woke up in the ICU after the emergency surgery was "I think the next one will be a planned caesarian." This is what c-sections are made for. You gave it your all and there's no need to damage yourself in order to bring your new one into the world.

By the way, when you hear about people feeling awful after c-sections, they are more likely to have been emergency c-sections, before which there was danger or trauma - that's what makes recovery difficult, not necessarily the c itself.

i had a third degree tear with my first baby with stiches. i have since had two other children both 9lbs with no problems. i would talk to a new doctor. if you want to talk e-mail me and i will send you my number. good luck
N. karayianis
____@____.com
www.slumberpartiesbynicolek.com

I was not in your exact situation, but had an unplanned c-section with my second daughter. I was VERY against c-sections but my daughter was breech and we eventually had no choice. I will say that the c-section was a piece of cake and the recovery was better than my vaginal birth (which was very quick with no tearing). The only problem we had was with breastfeeding because I was on pain medication which made my daughter very sleepy the first week so she wasn't gaining much weight. If you go the c-section route and plan to breastfeed I would suggest bottle feeding while you are on pain meds and then start breastfeeding. We had so much difficulty trying to breastfeed in the beginning but she finally got it down at around one month and nipple confusion was not a problem. My c-section was such a breeze that I will probably have one with any subsequent children. I was walking from the day I gave birth and took care of my daughter just fine on my own. You just need to do things more slowly. I hope that helps if you do decide to have a c-section!

S., I am a 32 year old mother of 5 children (one set of twins in there :-)) and all of my deliveries were via c-section. After reading your story I would urge you to listen to your doctor and have a planned c-section. Birth is supposed to be a joy, and from the sound of it your first was far from that and even the IDEA of the same thing happening a second time is already taking the joy out of this one. Mother's have to remember that we not only need to take care of children, but we also need to take care of ourselves. Do what's best for YOUR body this time around and bring the joy back to giving birth! :-)

My first child was 9.7 and I had a few stitches. My second child was 11.6 and 23 1/2 inches long! I had lots of stitches and pain in my hips. When I got pregnant with my third child, I was scared too death! My doctor ordered a sonogram at 36 weeks. We decided that I would be induced two weeks early and my son was 9.2 and it was easy. I was also 33 when I had my third child. I did not want a c-section and the doctor was good about helping me through my concerns. I don't know if this is helpful for you but just wanted to give you a little insight into how things happened for me.

I think this all depends on you and the estimated size of your baby. I have 5'4" and weighted 100 lbs when I got preganant for the first time and I delivered a 9 lb. 6 oz. baby boy. I was cut as far as they could cut and he finally came out. My doctor was only cutting a little at a time, to see how far he had to go. Anyways, recovery was hard, I had pains and twinges for 6 months or more, so I understand pretty much were you are coming from. My son was also 2 wks late and enduced. I didn't like the fact that I was so late and he was SOO big with me being petite, so I changed doctors. I have had 2 more children since then with my new doctors. My daughter came 3 wks to the day early (37 wks.). I went in at 37 wks for my check up and the doctors asked me questions to see how prepared I was and then stripped my membranes to see if it would help enduce labor and I had her in the early morning hours the next day and she was 6 lbs. 9 oz. What a nice change! My third was 2 1/2 wks early and she weighed 6 lbs. 5 oz. I would recommend you have your doctor strip your membranes and get your labor going (that is if you have started to dilate and eface) and if you haven't had your baby by 38 wks, I would request to be induced immediately if you want to go vaginal. Also see if you doctor will do an ultra sound and estimate the weight of the baby, that will help too to see what way you need to go. But I would definately recommend changing doctors if you have a 3rd. Stirups are way outdated! Plus having a big baby can be dangerous not only for you but also your baby.

Hi S.. You've already had so many great responses, but thought I would still chime in. I too had a very traumatic first vaginal delivery, and a very, very rough recovery. My BF who had a C-section was at the gym after 6 weeks, and I still couldnt' go up stairs without help at that point. For my second, I REALLY wanted a c-section. I was SO scared of her delivery, and basically begged for the C. I was scared of the C, but not as scared as I was of the experience I had last time. Plus, I will NOT put my child through the trauma of a difficult vaginal birth just so I can avoid a difficult recovery. My OB said that she would consider it if it seemed at all like my daughter was going to be as big as my son, or if my labor was difficult. We ended up doing the vaginal, and my daughter came in at 7lbs, 5 oz, and came out in THREE pushes. I cried b/c I never knew delivery could be such a wonderful experience.

My point is that if it were me, and my OB offered, I would have taken her up on the C in a minute. My second vaginal birth ended up being a breeze, but there is never a guarantee of that, and I STILL would have taken the C if offered. Plus, as you know, the fear of a "difficult recovery" after a C-section is no less than the reality of a difficult recovery from 3d/4th degree tears after a vaginal birth. Oh, and I still pee my pants every time I sneeze! (LOL!)

My OB induced my second baby at 37 weeks (I was dilated to 7, so by "induced" I really mean "broke my water") and she was a breeze. I am glad, after the fact, that I got the vaginal delivery, but I would have NEVER regretted a C-section. Just remember -- at the end of the day, ALL that matters is a healthy baby in your arms.

GL with your delivery, in whatever manner it comes!

I have had two succesful caesaran births, because I to have large babies, 8lbs4oz and 9lbs4oz. I preferred it and i healed quickly.

i would have the c section. can i ask why you are so hesitant to have it? i understand no one WANTS surgery but yoru pros and cons listed above seem really clearly to point towards it being the safest and best option for you. I have had one, and didnt think it was bad at all. nothing like what you described! ounch! i felt pretty good in about 2-3 weeks.

good luck either way!

J.

I am scheduled in June for my 4th c-section! It has been so easy with all of them so far. There was no pain during the c-section and it was nice to be able to stay in the hospital for a few extra days. By the time I got home with all of them I could walk around somewhat ok. Enough for the amount of energy I had at the time given the amount of sleep I was getting. I was moving good with in a few weeks. Much faster than what you went through. They gave me the option to try with my 2nd and I ended up having another c-section. It is not that bad. I personally don't want to have to go through labor! HA! Sounds like it may be a better option for you than what you may have before you. The recovery really isn't that bad! good luck!

Oh my gosh, you poor mom! I can only tell you that I have had three c-sections and wouldn't even consider going the "other way"!! With proper pain management and help at home the recoveries were not bad. Only make sure you are able to have a bm before leaving the hospital or make your doctor give you something to help move things along. Good luck!

I also had a 9 lb 2 oz baby. He is now 19 months old and did quite a number on my bladder. Before I gave birth I never had a bladder issue. Now sneezing, laughing, etc., poses a problem. I am now due with my second in July. The doctor has said there are things they can do to help this problem I am having but does not want to do it until I am done having children. Even though I ended up having this problem I think because of a large baby I still am glad I had a vaginal birth vice c section. I have heard that with a csection, recovery can be difficult, not to mention you have one that you are going to need to take care of. I see it as surgery and I always try to avoid surgery whenever possible. Not sure if this helps you or not but I am somewhat in the same boat.
Hope everything turns out well for you.

I had my 1st 5 months ago via emergency C-section b/c I was not progressing at all from induction after 14hrs. At the time I was upset about it (more scared than anything) but looking back, it was no big deal at all. The actual surgery was over within an hour (baby comes out quick, it's the putting you back together that takes the most time). the baby doesn't have to go through any "trauma" and consider the trauma your body went through the last time, I would be scared of consequences there that a C-section doesn't incur.
I'm not a doctor but I would think a c-section would be a safer route for you.

I understand your dilemma. Its a little late in your pregnancy but what about consulting at least with a good midwife and seeing what she recommends. Medical docs are prone to do things with lots of intervention and all. Plus there are some new and lots of not so new info out there about how important vaginal births are for mom and baby because of the oxytocin that is released. Midwives do things more natually, while still knowing all the medical info, there some fabulous ones at Depaul in Norfolk, Blair and Nell, ###-###-####, I trust them with my life! You had a very unnatural delivery that lead the tear and all, if you can avoid the interventions this time around, pitocin, epidural, etc, you can probably avoid the problems. A good book to read is Hypnobirthing, it can help with the 'pain' of childbirth. Our bodies were designed to birth babies, you can do it :) Good luck to you!!

Hi S.,
I had an emergency section after developing full blown HELPP Snydrome (not sure if I spelled it correctly ;0)). I had my son 1 month early. Personally, I perferred a C-section from the beginning because I just don't handle pain very well, and I didn't think I would be able to make through a vaginal delivery. I found that the C-section was not as bad as everyone led me to believe. Yes, it is a little longer recovery than a regular vaginal delivery, but I am sure it was less time than your last recovery. The cut is along the bikini line, so over time it just blends in and you don't really see it. I didn't have a lot of pain from it you will basically just be moving around a little slower until the incision heals.

Hi S.. I had my first child c-section due to not being able to dialate all the way to 10 centimeters. I was in labor with her for 36 hours before they decided to do a c-section. When I got pregnant with my second, I was told upfront that it was my choice, but there was a 50% chance the same thing would happen. After my first, I had a long recovery from being in labor for so long and the surgery. So I opted to do the planned c-section with my second. It was wonderful. I went to the hospital on the day of my c-section, had a spinal block (which I felt absolutely nothing) After the surgery I was able to hold my daughter and nurse her. I wasn't near as tired. With my first I got to hold her for about 5 minutes then had to give her over to my husband b/c I was so tired and so sore I could barely think. With my second, the recovery time wasn't near as long. I was up and back to my normal routine in about a week (minus being able to lift). I was nervous about the planned c-section, but turns out it was the best thing to have done. Hope this helps! Good Luck and let me know how everything goes!!

S.,

I had a c-section with my first. It was quick and fairly easy. I had been on pitocin for hours and was not progressing. The doctor said I could decide how long I wanted to wait before the surger, but there was not stopping the surgery. I was shocked at how quickly I bounced back. The spinal block they give is just like the epidural. You get to plan what day/time you want to see your baby. The whole thing takes about 5 minutes before you see you little one and about 30-45 minutes of finishing up.

The obvious drawbacks are the your baby has more congestion for the first month. You may have to take it easy on stairs (I had to keep it to 1 flight in the morning and 1 in the evening). I drank tons of water and would take really short (around the block) walks up to 3 times a day and was off pain meds in a couple days.

I know that it is possible to have a VBAC, but I plan to have any additional children by C-section. It is just less stressful.

Hope I have helped.
J. M.

Is there a reason you can't have an episiotomy (sp?) before you tear? I had those both times I gave brith with 8 plus lb babies. They stitched me up after and I healed just fine. Usually they will only do it if it looks like there will be tearing.

Much better option to a c-section.

Hi S.- congrats on your pregnancy! My cousin went thru the same ordeal- she is finally recovering. i can tell you that the doctor told her the same thing on chosing a c-section versus the vaginal birth for her future pregnancies. She explained the pain,stress, and trauma that her body took- she never wants to go through that again. My suggestion to you is you've had the oppurtunity to experience a vaginal birth, so do not feel guitly in doing a c-section with your 2nd baby. Keep in mind you will have 2 children to look after, that's not including yourself. So, c-section may be your best option so that the recovery is quicker, and much more painless than your past one. And you can continue enjoying motherhood to your soon to be new born. Hope I have shed some light to your decsion making- best of luck and God Bless!

Hi S.,

What an awful decision to be faced with. Cesarian birth is also not without risk of complication and consequences, and is a major internal surgery, so that makes it even tougher to know what to do.

I advise that you find a certified nurse-midwife and ask for her to review your files and give her opinion on the likelihood of the complcations you mentioned occurring. CNMs specialize in low-risk births, and you may not qualify with your history, I'm not sure. But she will be perhaps more knowledgeable about vaginal births after a previous traumatic birth, because MDs would tend to rush to a C-section while CNMs would try to preserve a low-risk approach if at all possible. It may be that the C-section IS the best route for you, but if you have your doubts or would prefer to have a second opinion, I'd go see a certified nurse-midwife with your past records. Some insurance companies still don't cover CNM's, but you can often get around that by going to one who practices in a group with physicians and bills under their group.

Best of luck,

A.

Hi S.,

Your first birthing experience is exactly what happens when the natural experience of child birth is forgotten.

This is why women choose to have Midwives.

Since you are already committed to the Traditional Medical way, if it were me, I would read up on natural child birth and talk to midwives and see how to help myself have as natural an experience as possible.

In the mean time, there is a midwife in TN that you can write to, and see what she recommends.

Her e-mail address is: ____@____.com

Good luck. D.

Hi S.,
I never had a vaginal delivery but I did have a c-section with my twins. I am not sure what your hesitation is exactly...are you worried about the recovery from c-section? If so, I can tell you that it's not that bad. Have they estimated the size of the baby? It sounds like you had some serious effects from the vaginal delivery the first time, and I certainly wouldn't want to go through that again if i were you. I know plenty of people who had bad tears the first time and were okay the second. I guess you have to decide what is more concerning to you and your doc. But the section isn't that bad, and while it does have some risks, it sounds like the vaginal delivery would be a challenge for you, too. Good luck!

HI S....congratulations on yr 2nd baby! With my 1st I had a 4th degree tear and needed stitches -when the Dr. told me to stop pushing mid-push I had no idea how!

When I asked him about tearing on my 2nd child, he said that it was his job to hold the head in and gently guide him out (so why didn't he do that the 1st time?!) Unfortunetely with my 2nd they sent me home right before I went into transition and I ended up delivering in the ambulance...I didn't push at all, he just flew out...answered the ? about how women in comas have babies! 3rd degree tear...

3rd and final was delivered at our birth center, I figured out how to hold back mid push and the midwives were great! 1st degree tear, not a problem! Hemorrhoids after delivery was always worse than the stitches. I've never had a problem with incontince ...I would strongly recommend trying to deliver without being induced. I noticed here in Va drs. want to induce at yr due date, babies take different times to bake!! Best wishes!! J. mom to 3 energetic and wonderful boys!

S.,
I hope my story will help you to make a confident decision. I too had a very similar experience. I was pregnant with my 2nd child. I had my daughter when I was 16 and so that in and of itself was traumatic. She was almost 9 pounds. With my son I had gestational diabetes and by 32 weeks I was told he was already 7 pounds. At 38 weeks I was told her was 11 pounds and I was scheduled for a C-section to be done in my 39th week. Over the weekend before my scheduled surgery I went into natural labor. I woke up from my sleep and by the time I got to the hospital I was already 5 centimeters. An hour later I was 7. I was progressing so fast I just felt that for sure I could have him. It was 3am and the Dr on call was not my Dr. When I was 10 they asked if I wanted the C-section or not. I began pushing and i was a strong pusher so again, I thought I could have him. My fear was that he'd only be 9 pounds and I'd have a c-section for nothing. Basically, his head came out fine and his shoulders became stuck. It became a trauma life in the ER situation very quickly. I was able to push my son out but at the expense of him suffering a bracchial plexus injury. He has been in physical therapy since he was 14 days old and will have permanent limited use of his right arm. I had 3rd degree tears which took over an hour to stitch and months to heal as well. I was cathaterized for 24 hours because the swelling was so intense after birth. I have to say that unfortunatly I have blamed myself for my sons injury although those injuries are far more common then I ever knew. Please consider your options. I wish 100% I had just let my stranger, on call Dr. give me a c-section in the middle of the night. (sorry so long)

L.

Have the c-section. The recovery of a c-section is a lot quicker than going through that experience again. Why do that to yourself and husband again when you have a safe and easier way to avoid that pain, drama and experience.

C.

I had a C-section after 24 hours of labor with my first child, then another C-section (planned) with my second. The recovery was no problem, though I did get endometriitis (inflamation of the uterine lining) the second time, but with medication, I was fine. The scar is still visible, but no big deal... even if I was going to wear a bikini, it wouldn't show. I think most people worry that the recovery is going to be worse, but it's really no big deal. Just take care of yourself and don't lift heavy things (though I picked up my 3 year old pretty soon after little brother was born). It sounds like you had a horrible recovery last time... a C-section is BOUND to be easier! There are always some risks involved with any type of surgery, but it sounds like in your case, the risks of another vaginal delivery could be worse. Don't be afraid of the C-section. Good luck.

First, whatever you choose is fine.

Now, I had a planned c-section w/ my first and only child. At 39 weeks they estimated that she was almost 10 lbs, but that was a best guess as "her numbers do not fit into our algorithm." At that point I decided that I was not going to try a vaginal birth w/ a child that big only to end up having a c-section anyway. (Had her on her due date - she would have been at least a week late as I had NO progression toward a vaginal birth!) She was 10 lb. 3 oz. at birth. Best decision of my life.

Yes, its surgery, and yes it has its drawbacks - but so does vaginal birth as you learned.

Its okay not to risk going through that again. Don't feel guilty about doing what's best for you b/c you'll be a better mother to both children if you are healthy and happy.

Hi S.,

I had a 9lb baby at seventeen and and they had given me pitocin but I didn't have the epidural I did it natural. I had really bad tears on both sides that I thought needed stiches but they say it wounld have made it worse. It felt like forever to get back to normal, I couldn't sit after I had him walking was even a challenge. They had also told me that having more children might cause tearing agian. When I was going to have my second child I was really afriad of going through that agian, but with this one I was so afraid to get a C-section that I didn't do it and I'm so glad I didn't because nothing happend. There were no tears or anything and she was 8lbs 5oz. I went on to having two more and everything went great. You need to do what you feel is right for you. I was really so afraid of a C-section that I know I was willing to go through it agian if need be. As hard as it may be you really need to figure out what you're willing to deal with. But I wish you all the best that life has to offer.
Always E.

Hey S.!! Thank you for sharing your situation! I haven't gone thru this, but what I wanted to share with you girl is that I know it can be a hard decision to make. From my own experiences with the doctors I have learned that God uses the doctors and works through the doctors to bless us. This doesn't mean that we're losing our faith in Him, but God wants us to be wise as well and not to lean to our own understanding! He wants the best for you and the new little one on the way. He wants you well and strong to take care of your new one when he/she arrives. Just trust in God girl, He'll take care of everything and He knows and understands what you are facing and concerned about! Remember He's our Healer!! So, God has the final report on your body and health okay!! Quick testimony in reference to that, years ago I was informed by the doctor that I had a tubal pregnancy and that me and my husband wouldn't be able to have any more children b/c more than likely every time the baby would be in my tubes. Well, girl, we now have 4 kids!!!!! God is good!!! Steph, I pray God right now brings your peace about your delivery and He'll be in that room with you girl and everything will be fine. The birth only lasts for a little while, focus on that special baby God is giving to you and the future you have with him/or her!!! Take care girl okay and Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would love to hear how things went after the baby. If you like, please email me okay! ____@____.com
P. :)

As with any major operation, I would get a second opinion.

The tearing probably had more to do with positioning. Both my boys were born the same size. The first I was flat on my back in a hospital bed with an epidural. I ripped. With the second I gave birth in my living room in a birthing tub in an upright position. No tearing. Birthing is much easier on your body when you let gravity help you.

For the record, I know many women who have had complications with their section scars and numbness. It's not as if there's never any lasting side effects of cesareans.

I had a section with my son after 26 hours of labor and getting no where but in more and more pain. All of my friends had told me over and over again how horrible it was to have a section and how recovery was oh so terrible, none of it being true for me. I felt great by the time I had gotten home, which was 5 days after I gave birth, I can honestly say that I believe that people hype up how bad it is to have a c section, they scare you into believing that it's something terrible, when really most of the time it's not. There are some cases where moms have a hard time, but really it's about 6% of the time, so it's very over exaggerated. Do what you feel is best for you, no one can tell you what's best for you but your own body. But don't let people scare you into thinking it's not a good option.

Dear S., Have a C-Section! Save the trama and tearing of your body and most of all the trama to your unborn baby!

Good luck,
M. B.

P.s I am 43 and almost died having my first child and have the scars to prove it. My second one was a breeze with the C-Section.

Hi, S., If you list the pros and cons, to me the choice seems obvious. Why take chances? Of course you're not looking forward to another C-section, but at least you know what to expect. I would definitely go for the repeat C-section. Line up some help for afterwards. Your recovery will be much quicker than if you again suffer all of the same complications! Best of luck! N. B.

Stepanie,
They say a little advice can take you a long way--a lot of advice can make you very confused and have more questions and More fear. Every women has a different story and a different experience. Looks like you have loads to read so I'll give you the facts I know then my little spheal too.
Fact 1: you are very likely to have a bigger baby this time then last--this is very common for MOST women
Fact #2: Your birth canal has benn streached and is now much larger. this is why many women can give birth at light speed for their seconds and thirds.
Fact #3: With traumatic vaginal delivery, You are at a greater risk of having MAJOR problems with you urinary system as you age. Corrective surgery for this <from what I understand may become a necessity in later years> requires extensive recovery (bedrest for a month at least--if you have a cautious doc).
Fact #4: prolonged/traumatic labor may cause harm to the baby.

Now, my story is two C-sections. the first for placental previa the second because my child was estimated to be over 10 lbs and VBACS have been poo pooed by the american board of gynacological surgeons. With my first child my placental previa was questionable from the ultra sounds and I was offered the opportunity to try labor and go for it. I too was terrified of a C-section. I'm a nurse and I know just about EVERYTHING that can go wrong. I also knew that doctors have been doing C-sections for a very long time and doing them very successfully. The thought that I had to keep in my mind was 'how did I want to end up in an OR should things go wrong'? did I want a 'scheduled' event when I knew I would have MY doctor taking care of me or, did I want some 3rd year surgical resident (with the ON-CALL doctor) having to cut me open in an emergent situation? What did I want for this birth and what appeared to be the safest approach for the baby?
If you still don't know what to do after so many responses think about what's best/safest for the baby.
Recovery from a C is not really bad at all, get up and get moving as soon as your allowed, don't over do it but keep moving and you will find little residual effect on your body.
Good luck,
Camilla D.

Just the simple fact that you were on your back makes tears much more likely, let alone the stresses of pitocin.. The simple fact of having had an epi means that you aren't able to feel the sensations, and probably puchsed quite a bit harder than your body wanted you to.

I believe that the risks of major surgery (yes, c-sec is a major abdominal surgery!) are no where near the risks of tearing again. A decision to c-sec should never be taken lightly.

I think the simplest ways to avoid tearing, would be to use perineal massage and warm compresses during labor, stay in an upright position as often as possible during labor so that the baby's descent will help the area stretch. If your doc approves, ANY position that is semi-upright, or squatting for delivery would allow the area to stretch more as well.

It sounds like a no-brainer to me...you've given a long list of potential serious repurcussions/risks of another vaginal birth. Rest assured, a planned c-section will not be that traumatic (as opposed to an emergency c-section). Realistically speaking, of course it's not going to be as easy as recovering from a healthy vaginal birth; however, it will seem like a piece of cake after the traumatic experience you had with your first vaginal birth. This does not sound like one of those cases of opting for a planned c-section out of "convenience". You have sound reasons for opting for this choice...for your own safety, and so that you will be able to care for your newborn, your toddler, and enjoy life in general for the LONG TERM. The risks you have cited sound siginificant, indeed, and could seriously impair your quality of life. With the c-section, you will, in all likelihood, be back to normal in a matter of weeks, rather than the many months you suffered last time. WHy risk that again?

P.S. I had an unplannned c-section after 3 hours of pushing the first time. THe recuperation was difficult (back problems, etc.). My second c-section (which was planned due to the likelihood of a similarly protracted labor and severe varicose veins in the vaginal area which would have been exascerbated by the likelihood of all that pushing) was a breeze, relatively speaking. As my doctor put it, all the energy that went into the difficult labor the first time, was energy available for healing the 2nd time.

Good luck to you whatever you decide!

I'm sure there are studies that could validate information you receive for any decision you choose. The most important ones to listen to are the ones that land/resonate with what your body is feeling. I have heard to pretty big babies/and tears from 1st babies, and the second ones are sometimes bigger and NO tears. It sounds like you were already told about the epidural and pit., and stirrups all possibly making the tear worse, and I would have to agree. When a Mom can't feel what is going on, she can't help her body as easily. Do you want to have natural birth? Another thought is that a provider and a mom can make a team. The provider knows mom doesn't want to tear, so they can help mom during crowning, to ease the baby's head through, slooowwwwlllyyy, WITHOUT pulling or tugging on the baby'y head or body. They could also make suggestions about different positions mom could get in to help the babe come through easily, and gently! Hope this is helpful! Enjoy your birth! It really is a miracle!

Hello S.,

I do not have any direct experience with C-Sections, but I would like to offer a resource that may help you with your decision. ICAN, or International Cesarean Awareness Network, might be of assistance to you. Their website is http://www.ican-online.org/. You can search for local chapters here: http://ican-online.org/chapter/search and find a contact close to you who you can discuss your concerns with you.

As I have not had to face this decision, it may not be right for me to tell you this, but I believe that your birth can be a beautiful experience and you CAN have a vaginal birth, if that is what you want. Best of luck with your decision. Do what you believe to be right in your heart. And congratulations on your new little one!

ETA: You might want to rent a new movie from NetFlix (if you are a member) called "The Business of Being Born." A very interesting documentary on the state of maternity care in the US.

Well, it is entirely up to you. It sounds as if yu have done the research. Talk to you doctor about and episiotomy (sp?) Its better to have a clean cut with a couple of stitches than an awful tear.

S.,
A c-section is a tramatic birth too! You will have stitches and it will take you a long time to recover. Please consider using a doula! She can help you birth a better way and support you in having the birth you want. Call Mothering Mommies, LLC ###-###-#### to get a birth doula. You might want to think about a postpartum doula for after your delivery if you have a planned c-section. She can help you at home while you recover. Don't let you Dr. bully you!

Hi S.,
I agree with Pamela J. God will handle all your needs, he knitted that child in your womb, and he will ensure your bundled blessing gets here safe and healthy as well as maintain your health and lead you to a speedy recovery. I had a C-Section almost two years ago and it was the best thing for ME. I would not have traded it for the world. I was blessed with a speedy recovery, and my incision healed great, I can't even see my scar or know it's there. Keep in mind every one's body is different. You should be spending this time excited about your new blessing and not fearful because of your previous experience. It will all be fine and whatever decision you make, will fall in line with what's for you and your baby.

Be Blessed

Has your Dr had you using oil and stretching your vaginia daily. If you decide to go natural you can start now to at least help things along. Going natural (vs pitocin and epidural) will let your body stretch more naturally (ie probably longer delivery). Lots of woman deliver on their knees or sqatting until delivery. If you really want to try to go natural, try and find someone local who can work with you for the next few weeks on techniques that would help.
But you and baby being healthly is the most important thing so if you and your Doc decide to go c-section, don't feel bad!!

info on locating birthing services:
http://www.birthingnaturally.net/directory/doula/state.html

best of luck!!
K.

If it were me I would due the c-section. I had a 4 degree tear, with a baby 9lbs 8 oz. and my third birth was vaginal and I tore in the same place as my second baby. The 3rd baby weighted 9lbs. and it took a very long time to heal both times. Back then you didn't have a choice of a c-section. But I would of had a choice of a c-section, there is less recovery you are healed up in 4-8 weeks. Pain is less and you can at least set down. Good luck and I hope this helps
let me know how you get along and what you decide.

Any natural childbirth education class could have helped prepare you for a vaginal birth, but it's really too late for that now. You committed to running a marathon and have waited for four weeks before the race to start training. It just isn't going to work. At this point, unfortunately, your best option is probably going to be to subject yourself and your child to major elective surgery. I sincerely wish you both the best of luck.

I had a c-section when my daughter was born and it was a walk in the park. If my doctor told me all my births would be by c-section that would be fine with me. I had no pain, no hemorroids, no tearing. It was great. My recovery was good and easy. No walking up and down stairs and I couldn't drive for about 4 weeks.

Hi S. :) My name is J.. I have had three children all vaginally myself. My last child was almost 8lbs. but his head was in the 95%. Very large head. The doctor had to use the vaccum suction to help get him out. I am 33yrs old and just had a hysterectomy this past December. It was a good choice for me because after having three children my bladder had slipped down and was pushing on the uteris and cervex causing them to bulge through the vaginal wall. I didn't even realize this until I went into have a papsmear so don't be alarmed. The only thing I personally noticed is that I definitely had to go pee all the time. Like five times in an hour. And as a runner I would have to stop like three times while exercising to go. It is a blessing and a curse as a woman to be able to give life. It is a sacrifice that I would not change. My Uro-Gyno successfully repaired my bladder and now I can go like two hours (which is normal time frame) without going. People don't realize the damage that occurs when giving birth. Even with just one birth you can have damage. If you had trama after giving birth just once I would personally probably follow the advice of the doctor and have the C-section. Now days the doctors are so good at these procedures that the scar is usually hidden below the bikini line. Hope this helps.

I've had two c-sections (for different reasons) and, while they are not fun, I have often been glad in the years since when I've heard my girlfriends talk about wetting their pants when they laugh, or other similar issues. There are worse things than c-sections. The way in which you give birth is not a test of moral virtue; it's just a way to get the baby out. Do what's best for you and don't sweat it.

Go ahead with the c- section! After 2 long, laborous births with my first two babies, with a long painful recovery, my son was breech and they scheduled a planned c-section. At 9:00am I went in (I was scared, believe me!), at 9:15 the baby was out, my tubes were tied, and the babies cord blood was collected! I was resting comfortably in recovery, and had the whole day to rest! The baby slept for most of the day right on top of me! My recovery was not nearly as bad, I was able to rest in the hospital for 4 full days, and I was able to avoid the jaundice scares that I experienced with my other two! MUCH EASIER!

Well, to be honest, I went through the same thing. It was horrible. My OB (female) and I had discussed a scheduled C section (because of my back problems) if labor went on more than a few hours. Wouldn't you know when I went into labor, she wasn't on call, and I ended up with this old fart of a guy doctor, who let my labor go on for 22 hours, resulting in a very bad 3rd degree tear. When I asked him later "How could this have happened? My OB and I had discussed a C section!" His response was "Oh, well, a tear is still much better than a C section." My response was "Because you've had EITHER????" JERK. You should've seen the stunned look as he walked out of my room.

After talking to my sister who had a horrible first birth experience with her daughter, and then C sections with her next two, she told me, hands-down, C section was MUCH easier, and didn't leave her feeling like a freight train had torn her a** in two. I would not be afraid of a C Section, women have them every day. I wish I had, frankly. I wish I had been given the choice. Good luck to you!

My opinion is: have the C-section if that's what the doc thinks is best. With your history, I think it is really the only option. I had an emergency c-section with my first, but I really wanted to go natural for my second. The night I went into labor the doctor came in and said "so we're doing another c-section?" I told him I wanted to deliver naturally. His reply was, "you know you could rupture your uterous since you've already had one c-section?" That's all it took. I had my daughter via c-section. You have to be as healthy as possible to take care of your new baby and family; if you are ill or have injuries, you can't take care of the baby the way you would want to. C-sections are a little scary, and the healing process is a little painful for about the first week, then it starts to ease up. I won't take you nine months to heal from a c-section. I didn't even get stictches or staples with my second, they just used those strips to hold the cut shut. My only regret is that I was under anesteshia during both of my c-sections. Hopefully with yours being planned, you will at least be able to be awake and see your baby right after they "get him/her out".

When I had my daughter my midwife thought that she was going to be about 10lbs at birth. She suggested that I do Perineal massage during the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I'm not sure if this would be helpful to you, but I am including a link from a midwife website that may be helpful. Best of luck to you!
http://www.midwife.org/siteFiles/news/sharewithwomen50_1.pdf

HI S.,
I would highly suggest that you visit the Int'l. Caeserean Awareness Network, or ICAN website today!
http://ican-online.org/?option=com_search&amp;searchword=...
is the site.
Also, do all you can to avoid pitocin again, as it causes much stronger contractions & you are right to want to NOT birth your child in the supine position... eg. stirrups!!
Becoming informed is your 1st step to making the right decision, so you are to be commended in that!
There are things you can do to make your perineum easier to stretch & maybe won't tear as much or at all for that matter. Check "perineum massage during pregnancy" online. NOW would be the optimum time to start this, too!
Believe it or not, KEGELS are the premium way to strengthen that muscle & all other things to do with your female parts & your urinary tract parts.
Take care & I hope you can come to a bit of peace with your decision.

I can't speak to the C-section portion of your question, but would tell you that having one is a painless, woeless solution. I can speak to the traumatic first birth and subsequent vaginal birth.

I too had pitocin, an epidural, stirrup delivery, and extreme fundal pressure after 2 and 1/2 hours of pushing. My first child weighed in at 9 lbs, 1 oz and I had third/fourth degree tearing, plus hundreds of stitches.

I really, really dreaded the second delivery too -- I feel your pain! I had pitocin and another epidural, but my second delivery was a comparable breeze. It may have been because child #2 came a week early and was subsequently smaller, weighing 7 lbs 13 oz. I did have a little bit of tearing, but the whole experience was much easier, which my husband and I found so surprising!

While I believe to a certain extent that nature should take its course, perhaps you might consider discussing induction with your doctor? That way your baby won't be as big or bigger than your first. I have no idea how an induced birth goes, aside from the fact that you'd be back on the pitocin, which would lead to another epidural.

If my experience is a true statistic, I'd say that the damage to your pelvic floor is already done and that your subsequent vaginal birth probably won't make matters worse. Ask your doctor though!

Good luck!

H.

Good Morning,
First I would like to say congradulations on your second pregnancy , I am a 40 year old woman who had 2 c-sections. Both of my boys were big boys . I learned through research that c-sections were very safe for my children and my self. The + for me was fiding out that through a c-section the baby could not contract any thing /pass through any female problems that you may have during your pregnancy. I did not worry about the cord ,or my babies being breached. I recomend you do your research ,and ask other mothers who have had the experience of the c-section. If you take care of your self ,you will heal fine.

Good Luck to you

I just had a c-section for my 8lb 3oz baby. He was 21 inches long and because I'm 5'4", nobody expected the baby to be so big. Hence, after they made the initial incision and pushed to get the baby out, his head couldn't get through so they had to cut me further in a hurry to get him out safely. So my recovery has been painful as well although less traumatic than yours... I had fluid gather near the stitches creating a bulge (still have it and doctors say will likely be a couple of months before it goes away). My stitches came open 1 week after the delivery and I stood in the shower pouring out blood while my husband called the emergency room. So c-sections do bring some complications - but my case is what can happen with a complication. Other patients have great recoveries in 6 weeks and only want to have c-sections. I just hope you are able to get your regular doctor when it's time :)

Hi, S..

What an awful experience you had! Of course, the pitocin, epidural and stirrups will increase the chance of a tear. Doctors are not the sharpest knives in the drawer!

Midwives will help you birth more slowly and massage the area to avoid a tear. When I had my second child, I wanted to have her on a birthing stool so I could watch easily in the mirror. The midwife told me the baby was coming too quickly, that I should lie down. I did, she birthed more slowly, just a tiny scratch of a tear.

Doctors don't have your best interest at heart when they're birthing your baby. They just want it out fast so they can get onto the next one. It's money motivation. I suggest you find a provider who will work with you to birth the way YOU want to.

Good luck.

I had an emergency C Section for my son almost 7 years ago. My water broke, but I didn't go into labor. I was upset, but everything went fine and I had a very short recovery time. For my second child, I was hopping for a V-back, but she went past term, so we scheduled another C section. I cried once, but remembered how easy it was the first time. Having an exact date was great, because my mother came down to watch my son, while my husband took me for the C section that gave us our beautiful daughter, who will be 2 on Monday. I was home from both procedures in 3 days with no problems. I am 39. I hope this helps you come to a decission.
Good luck.
J. H

I have had 2 cessarian births and I would not have changed that for anything. When I think about my short recovery time versus the time my friends and family have had, C - Section is the way to go. If your doctor is suggesting it go for it is my opinion.

Dear S.,
I went through the same. Big baby, big tear. ouch
the next baby, they did not plan on c-section, but he flipped and his head was up when my water broke. So, they did a c-section. Not bad at all, small, low bikini cut. Just took a few days longer to recover. Don't lift heavy, take baby walks and eat alot, to get your strength back. Good Luck
B. (nananita)

P.S. I had 3 wonderful boys, now I have one Grand daughter that takes my breath away ! I worked in Radiology/Mri all my life, now I am relaxing at beach, semi-retired, working from home. Check me out :
BossFree-DebtFree.com (look at Business info, testimonials, and Get more info)

I understand your concern and I understand wanting to deliver vaginally. I had 2 c-sections and then a VBAC. I had 2nd degree tearing, down and to the side. It took about 6 months before I could even sit right. I wanted a vaginal birth so badly, but now that I went through it, I can honestly say, the c-section was much easier. I was feeling 100% better after a few weeks, which was much faster than with the vaginal birth!
Best of luck with the new baby!

I have had two C-sections, the last one being planned. I'm glad I did it so my baby and I wouldn't suffer through a long dangerous labor like with my first child. Recovery was very quick and I was 36 for the first one and 42 for the second one. I did not want to tear and I would have because I could not get dialated enough for a natural birth. My husband has a great picture of the baby's head just out of the tummy so it felt normal and I wouldn't change it. If it was an issue the first time and your doctor is concerned then you should be concerned as well.

Hi S.,

I am a SAHM of 3 with 1 on the way. My first 2 were natural deliveries, and my third was Csection due to her being breach. What you described as your first birth (all the interventions) I am not surprised that you tore so badly. I didn't use anything (medicines) with my first 2, and still tore, but it was only 1st degree & healed within weeks. Have you thought about trying natural delivery, if you are concerned about Csections? I never liked the idea of csections, and really don't now that I have had one. I am a natural kind of person. If I were you though, I certainly would not have another delivery if I had to have the epidural, pitocin, and stirrups. If that is what you would require, I'd go ahead with the Csection since the risks would probably be lower. But, if you think you can handle the natural birth, that's the way to go. If you do have questions on csections, I will be happy to tell you how mine went. Just send me a message. Good luck & God bless!

Hi S. - I had a similar situation with my 9 lb 12 oz son (born first).... I tried with long hours of not dilating for 12 hours of labor and he ended up in intensive care for 3 days after giving in to a c-section. With my daughter (who was smaller), I had to make the same decision like you - I chose a scheduled c-section. I know it is a hard decision - and at first it feels like you 'failed' in some way and I came to peace with it. I am glad I had two healthy babies. I know someone who had a tear and had surgery later because of all the complications. Get quiet in your heart and ask for guidance and feel in your heart what is right for you. Remember yours and the baby's health are the priority! By the way, I healed much quicker with the scheduled C-section instead of doing both :) Best wishes to you for a healthy baby, Blessings S.

Hi, I have had two children, my first 9lbs. vaginal with no problems; however my second was by c section due to his positioning (transverse, or sideways). I did not want a c-section, I don’t know if I was too concerned about the scar or what but I will tell you having done both, it truly is not a big deal going c-section. My scar is very small; they sewed the muscles back on the inside to help flatten out my tummy. The recovery time is a little longer and you cannot drive but with a new born why would you go anywhere? ;0)
If I knew a little more about why you do not want the c-section I might be able to give better advice. I can just tell you that since I had an easy first birth I mean six pushes, 9 lbs. no problem I was really against c-section. It has been seven years since my c-section and you could not tell I had one. I hope this helps! Good luck and congratulations on your new baby!
S.

S.,

Have you researched the VBAC information out there?

vbac.com is one, there are many others.

good luck!

I have had a vaginal and C-section. I had about a 2 degree tear I think. I had a C-section because my daughter was breeched. I personally would not do a C-section unless it is absolutley necessary, such as beeing breeched. How did you handle recovery from your vaginal? It really was not bad for me. I got up and walked nad moved around a lot and that helped me heal quickly. I have a friend who had a 3 almost 4 degree tear the first time and then still had a vasgional birth the second time. So personally, I would not do a C-section unless really necessary and you can't guaruntee what will or won't happen in your situation. I would most likely try a vaginal birth still. Also, remember that once you have a C-section every birth after that will be a C-section becasue it is dangerous to try it vaginally for fear of rupturing after having a C-section

Go for the C-section! I had the exact same issues and am due with number 2 in May. Although the chances of having an equally distressing second delivery are slim, a specialist I see said that I may have developed scar tissue which, if torn, would make healing just as difficult - if not MORE difficult. I know many women who have healed nicely after having C-sections WITHOUT all the drama one experiences after a vaginal delivery. The tiny cut heals nicely, and although recovery is 8 weeks (versus 6 for a vaginal), it's not as difficult. Only one woman I know disliked the C-section, and that's because she's very heavy. So she never healed properly and ultimately developed a hernia due to the excess weight pulling on her incision. She is not the norm! And incontinence is no picnic! Trust me! Good luck.

Tough decision. I am against c-sections unless medically necessary and this might be an example of that. You just never know if that baby is going to be just the right size to vaginally birth or not. So I guess its all about whether or not you want to chance it. The only advice I can think of is to get an ultrasound as late in your pregnancy as you can to guesstimate the babys size the best you can. And at that point in time if the babys head and/or shoulders seem to be large then you can opt for the c/s. Its not how big the baby is, weight-wise, its how broad the shoulders or big the head is. Keep in mind you may have to go overdue to allow enough time to schedule the c-section but if its for the best you wont mind waiting a few extra days I hope. Best of Luck and congrats :)
ps: after reading other responses i remembered this: episiotomy: YES. but also perineal massage. your dr. can massage you around where the babys head crowns to help promote stretching and prevent tearing.

Hi S.,

I had a C-section with my first child (9 lbs and breech). I would say take the C-section. It probably won't hurt worse than your first experience. It is painful, but in a different way. I was on patient controlled anesthesia (PCA, they'll give you dilaudid or another opiate, hopefully baby safe for breastfeeding) for 24 hours after the operation. Then for the next 3 days in the hospital they gave me pain meds by mouth. It hurts to go from lying down to sitting and from sitting to standing and the reverse for about a 5-7 days (gets less and less each day). The nurses should force you out of bed 24 hours after the operation--it ain't pleasant, but the more you move the quicker the pain goes away. If you have to cough, press a pillow over your incision site. It was a good 6 months before I felt like I was capable of doing situps. But, the upside is that the bleeding (lochia) is, as my friend who has had both vaginal and C-section puts it, more civilized. My last piece of advice is, if you breastfeed, use a boppy pillow or something like it. I found it helpful.

Hi S.,

I had a similar first delivery (no pitocin or stirrups though). The second time around I was gunshy (to say the least). I had a different doctor (my first was born in NJ), who actually listened to me. We decided to induce a few weeks early in hopes of a smaller baby. It worked! Short labor, easy delivery. She did have to give me an episiotomy, because my scar was so thick from the previous tear. She repaired the jagged scar, and I felt like a million bucks. I came home from the hospital and walked up and down the steps with no problem. And, I had a normal sized baby. 7 lbs. 6 ozs. I am sure everyone is different, but it may be worth talking about this option with your doctor. Best of luck to you!!!

T.

Almost the exact same thing happened to me. I could hardly sit for 9 months post-baby #1. When I got pregnant with #2 my Dr and I talked around and around the whole C-section vs vaginal birth thing. He really wanted me to have a c-section for my own safety. But I knew that I wanted to have more children and figured that if I had #2 by c-section because of this problem, then all the rest would have to be born that way too. And I didn't want that. So finally my Dr and I agreed that we would try a vaginal birth but he would induce me a little early to keep the size of the baby low. Also, he was very attentive and really watched as I dialated, stretching me carefully as my labor progressed. In the end, I had a beautiful second birth with no complications at all, no tearing, nothing. And, I've since had a third baby also with no complications.
I'd encourage you to do what feels right for you and your body. If you don't want a c-section, stick to your guns and help your Dr see how important this is to you. If your Dr won't listen to your heart-felt feelings, get a new Dr. I'd be happy to refer you to mine (he's in Fairfax, VA).

Hey S.. My first daughter was 8lbs 3oz and I had to have a 4th degree episiodomy and it hurt to sit down for a couple of weeks. So when I was 35 weeks with my now 4 month old, they did an ultrasound and because of her weight induced me 2 weeks early. I didn't want to have a c-section either, which was my other option. This time I only had to be cut a little bit (which is better then tearing) and I didn't have any problems. I mean you always take a risk with a vaginal birth as well as a c-section. Good luck on whatever you decide!

my advice is to be induced at 38 weeks to have baby smaller and fit through canal easier. then if you get epidual tell them to wait til it wears off a bit before pushing so that you feel what you are doing. pushing too hard too fast doesnt give you body enough time to stretch down there. resulting in tearing. the dr can rub something on you donthere while your pushing to help stretch you too right before or as you are pushing. if you can go without the epidural try that. i had both of mine without nd although it hurts i was back to normal a soon as they came out and took a shower.

Hello,

I first had a c-section with my 1st child and a VBAC with my 2nd. I am sooo glad that I went VBAC the 2nd time. There was a huge difference in the size of my babies. My son was 9lbs 1oz and my daughter was 6lbs 4oz. I almost had to have a repeat c-section with my daughter. The nurses had me on my side pushing, and that really helped progress the birth of my baby girl. What is the size of this baby you are about to deliver? If there is a significant difference like mine, you may want to go vaginal. If there isn't much of a difference, go c-section. The recovery is longer than a vaginal birth...but since it was so long for you last time, it won't be too bad. It is however a much more painful recovery! You will have a huge cut in your bikini area that you will have to be very careful doing things. It takes quite some time to heal and to feel back to normal again!!
Good luck!!

I am a mother of 3. I had a c-section with all of my children. I recovered rather quickly. Don't believe the horror stories. Good luck with your decision.

One word...episiotomy. If you want a vaginal birth ask your doctor to do this so you don't tear. I had a third degree tear with my second son...my doctor stitched for 45 minutes after his birth. Story behind this: My first son was posterior so my doctor did an episiotomy so I wouldn't tear. His birth was pitocin, stirrups & epidural too. He was 6lbs 6oz. I was well recovered by the 6 week post partum visit. Intercouse was uncomfortable without extra lubricant for the first few times. When my second one was being born we thought we could avoid the episiotomy because after his head came out we thought he would be small like my first. WRONG. He had shoulders like a linebacker and 8lbs 13oz. My doctor said with an episiotomy I wouldn't have torn. He was also, pitocin, stirrups and epidural. But with her wonderful handy work at the 6 week post-partum mark it was the same as after my first. If you are stitched properly incontinence shouldn't be an issue. Ask your doctor if the c-section is more for their convenience or yours? Go with your gut feeling... only you know what is right for you. Good luck.

Even though a C-section can take time to recover from also, you can recover without undue worry. If you are a person who works out, recovery can be quicker also. If not, you can start after your pregnancy and tone and tighten those abdominal muscles. You need to do what is best for you - mentally as well as physically.

Hey! I had a C-section with my first. After 19 hours of hard labor I would not progress and her heart rate started to slow. She came out 9lb 7 1/2 oz! I am now expecting my second child in May. I decided early on to do a planned C-Section. I am glad because it looks like I most likely would need one again. This baby is looking at being even bigger than my daughter.

My recovery from the C-Section was not bad. I felt great and actually went back to work after a month! Your abs are little sore. I think your feelings going into it really can make a difference. If you are upset about a C-section I do not think you recover as well.

Good Luck!

S.,

Hi, my three(ages 17yrs, 16yrs, and 13yrs) were all born naturally. With my first I had a tear that did require stitches and healed normally, though there is scaring. He was 7lbs 6oz. My second(8.3lbs) and third(9.3lbs) were also born naturally and I did not tear with either of them. As for recovery time.....the first one my labor was 33hrs with 4 of that being pushing, I was able to be up and moving normally in a couple days. The other two, I was up and walking around normally within about 6hrs after delivery and home and doing my everyday things with my other child(ren) the next day. Yes I was a bit slower but I was able to pick up my other babies a couple days after delivery. I can tell you that urinary incontenance can happen even with normal natural deliveries. I speak from personal experience. I've been told its due to my last being over 9lbs though and him being carried low on my bladder. My doctor never suggested a c-section because I tore the first time. She just suggested we worked the area to help stretch it during the delivery, she also worked the peraneal area during delivery. Though I did not have any drugs during any of my deliveries, I have heard that the drugs can cause more tearing due to you not being able to feel anything in the vaginal area so you can tell them when things "don't feel right" while pushing.So can a flat on your back delivery. Getting up and walking during the duration of first and second stages of delivery can help with things stretching normally, along with different positions during the pushing stages can help with the stretching process. Not hurrying the pushing stage also helps things stretch at a safe steady stage. I have also come to the conclussion that many doctors seem to be pushing for planned c-sections for conveniences for the parents to be and for them themselves. Who wants to be inconvenienced in the middle of the night delivering a baby. In my opinion giving birth, to many, has become an inconvenience and they want to know when, what time and what its going to be so they can plan accordingly. This includes doctors.........also stop and remember that a c-section delivery is about 3 times the cost than a natural delivery so the doctors are making more money by suggesting planned c-sections. I suggest that if you really do not want a c-section that you discuss this with your husband and doctor, and if your doctor pushes the issue get a second opinion. Just my opinion on the subject.

I was planning on a naturally delivery and I ended up having a c section because my daughter was a double footling breech. It is a longer recovery with c section as well.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties with your first delivery. Is it the same dr that delivered your first? I would also consult with a midwife, doula or natural birth instructor on what alternatives are and what you can do to prepare for it such as kegel exercises. Possible water birth?

I was not concerned with the surgery - It had to be done in my case, but make sure you know the risks to you and your baby and prepare in advance for what ever happens.

God Bless.

Congratulations on the near arrival of your second child. I hope this will be a wonderful experience. My first child was unexpectedly 10 lbs. 4.5 oz. and he was totally natural, no epidural, no stirrups all natural in a birthing room. Lots of hips spreading to accomodate him in the birth canal I had a tear as well though I don't know all the details of it all. It took a while to resume some of what you talked about. Doctors were concerned that subsequent babies are larger but 15 mos after the first baby, the second baby arrived nearly on the highway at 9 lbs. 6 oz. and they say it's cause the first baby paved the way. The third baby was even smaller but the 4th was nearly 10 lbs while the 5th was only 8.10. My point is, that while the doctors have to advise you on certain things, but as long as the baby is healthy and not at risk for problems, then the decision is totally yours based on how the plumbing is working now, how comfortable times of intimacey are as well as the rest. The bottom line is that your second baby may be much smaller and all your concerns can be redirected to the wonderful second arrival. I hope you have a very smooth and wonderfully memorable delivery. I treasured every one of them and hope you can too.

I had a planned c-section because my daughter was breech. I was very nervous, but it went very smoothly and the recovery was quicker than I had thought. It sounds to me like it would be a much better option for you because of the trauma you have already gone through. Good luck!!

Hi S.,
My siter-in-law had the same thing happen to her following the birth of her second child. She decided for her third child to have a c-section. She did not want to risk another tear. Her recovery from the c-section was great and better than either of her vaginal deliveries (these were her words).

My guess is your doctor is tying to err on the side of caution by suggesting the c-section. I do understand that you would not want to have major surgery but you also have to weigh the fact that you may have a repeat of the last delivery. Is there anyone at the hospital who has had experience with other patients in the same situation? I would have suggested talkin with a mid-wife but it would have ot be someone very experienced. Sometimes if you begin pushing too soon it really works against you. Also once the baby's head crowns if you can breathe through some of the burning and pain to wait a minute before pushing again, this allows your skin time to stretch and therefore reducing the risk of tearing.

Hope that helps somewhat. Good luck and I will be praying for a speedy uncomplicated delivery for you.

M. H

Hi!! This sounds just like my situation to a T. I choose to go ahead and have a vaginal birth. I only had a 2nd degree tear, no episotimy this time, and had an epidural. My recovery was much fast. I think due to experiance and it being my second child. I hope this helps. If you have any questions feel free to ask me.

I ended up having an emergency C-section with my son. I really wanted to have a vaginal birth and cried when they broke the news to me, but it really wasn't that bad. I was definitely sore for a while afterward, but I was able to control it with Ibuprophen. I have a friend who tore and she was actually sore longer than I was.
I was afraid that I would end up in bed for weeks (I had already been on bed rest for 2 months!). I had to take it easy, but the recovery was a lot quicker than I thought it would be. The hardest part was not being able to drive for a few weeks.
There are some great books about C-sections that will walk you through the whole thing, if you decide to go that way. Then there won't be any surprises and it won't feel as scary. I had read a little and that helped me.

S., I had a planned c-section five weeks ago for my first (who was 9lb 6 oz). I was scared too but I have to tell you it was actually very easy. The surgery itself is weird but not painful and my recovery was fairly swift. I felt totally healed after three weeks and would definitely have another. I think the two most difficult things were changing my perception of child birth and getting through the first few days when it's difficult to not stand, walk with or change the baby. Still, I'd take a few rough days over the issues you described from your first vaginal birth. Good luck with your decision.

I had a hard labor that ended in a c-section. If you are seeing the same doctor I might look for another even at this late hour. No one should be put in a stirrup anymore that is outdated and hard on the woman. That being said if I had a crystal ball I would not have tried to go natural, I would not have pushed for so long, and I would have just had a c-section from the beginning. So look into you crystal ball do you like what you see. What do you want your future to be?

my heart goes out to you...
I have to say- as you said yourself- things that make things worse are all that you listed-right?
I would recommend to stay away from the surgery for its own risks involved. Ask yourself where your heart is- what is it that you would like? How would you see yourself birthing?
I can recommend something called pereneal massage. You basically help your vaginal muscles to relax during pressure.
(i have practiced it with my 3 childbirths, and never had a tear)
THe other thing I would recommend is to stay away from the medicinal route, since you are not really "in charge" of your own body at this point.
Try to do relaxation techniques now, and use during your birth.
Although I have not gone through a tear and recovery myself, I have had 3 beutiful births and I really wanted to share with you what worked with me...
If you need painreleiver during the birthing, I have had friends that have done accupunkture during the birht with wonderful results.
I don't know if you want to do a natural birth- but I would have to recommend it, also for the fact that it lets the body work at its own pace.
So relax, visualize how you see yourself birthing, and I hope that all goes in tune with your inner self.
Love.
A.
(36 and mother of 3 children under 6)

S.,
I had my second baby 8 months ago. Both of my deliveries were vaginal and went really well.
I too did not want the C section scenario and for a while it looked as though I might need one
as my second was breech for a few weeks in the third trimester. I recommend a doula. It
isn't too late for you to find someone to hold your hand through all of this. I know my doula
was a godsend for the emotional rollercoaster of my last pregnancy, and no matter what your
decision a good doula can support you and help you make this birth experience one you will
feel good about. And many do postpartum help for recovering moms. Just a thought. Try the DONA website to find one.
J.

S.,
I don't know if this will help... However, I have had a total of 3 children, all vaginal births. The first was a breeze, but my second was tough, I too was on pitocin, but no epidural. I ripped all the way up and through my clitoris, my husband said it was bad and looked unrepairable. It was extremely painful, but I eventually got back to normal. Now my son was just 8lbs 8oz, pretty average size... Well when my son was 6mo old I got pregnant again, surprise!!! I went way over my due date on my third child & had to be induced, so back onto the pitocin I went & again no epidural. He was born after a few pushes, but had one of his arms up around his neck making it hard to push him out and I tore a little, but it was more of surface tear (no stitches), but the rest held true and he was 10lbs.

So, I guess each person is different and there are no guarantees, but there is a 50% chance you will be fine. I have also heard natural tears are less likely to re-tear through the next birth as opposed to an actual cut which was done my the doctor. I have hope for you that you will be fine!!! Besides, think of it this way, having a C-section is also a long recovery and I heard pretty painful. I say stick with the type of delivery you want and just enjoy the experience!!!

Good Luck!!!!!!!

S.,
I had planned for a vaginal birth but developed complications during my last week of pregnancy, so the doctor decided to induce labor. Unfortunately I failed to dilate and the my baby started experiencing distress with the pitocin so I had a C-section.

I experienced a lot of pain especially during the first couple of days after the C-section but after that my recovery was pretty quick. The thing that made a difference for me was getting up and about (slowly of course) a day after the surgery. After two weeks I was pretty much fully recovered.

This was just my experience, but you and your doctors will decide what is best for you. Good luck and congrats.

I haven't had a vaginal birth, so I can't compare, but I've had 2 c-sections. They were absolutely fine. I didn't have any pain at all. The most important thing is to have a healthy baby, which ever way that may be. They give you a spinal to numb you from your chest down. They do some other prep work and then your husband is allowed in. My husband said he did see me cut open when he walked in. Not sure about that. he baby is out pretty quickly - matter of minutes. And, then they sew you up. It takes about an hour. Then you go to recovery. The spinal won't wear off for a while and the pain medication in it lasts for like 24 hours. So, I didn't have to really take pain medication for a while. They came about 8-12 hours after surgery and wanted me to walk to the bathroom. Then they told me to get up every few hours to walk around. I was walking all over. Some of my friends had issues with pain thouhg. I think it may be up to the individuals pain threshold. I was in the hospital, both times from Friday night to Tuesday morning, however you may be able to get out a day ealier than that. When I got home I was told not to go up and down the stairs too often. I wasn't able to pick up my 2 year old for a few weeks. I think that was the worst part of the whole thing! But it goes by quick. I wasn't supposed to drive either. I healed very quickly and I wouldn't have wanted to have my babies any other way. I hope this helps and good luck.