S.E. asks from Houston, TX on August 05, 2008
What Do You Think of Corporal Punishment in Schools?
I've spent most of the summer seeking a quality pre-school for my son, and recently came across the website of a Christian private school close to where I work. I was so excited about checking into them, but then became very concerned about what I read on their website, particularly regarding their stance on corporal punishment. Of course the decision to send (or not send, in this case), my child to any given school is a matter of personal opinion, but I'm interested in your thoughts.
To see the page on their site, go to www.livingwordchristianacademy.org. Then, click on Admissions, then click on the new student application (PDF) and look at page 8.
What's your opinion of it?
So What Happened?™
Clarification: not for one moment am I considering sending my child to this school. "Corporal punishment" is a deal breaker for me. Even if I could "opt out" of the use of corporal punishment on MY son, I wouldn't want my son to be in a situation where the child sitting next to him (presumably his friend) comes back into the classroom after just having been paddled. One, I'd be afraid that my son would always fear that he's going to be next (whether I've signed the paper or not), and two, I wouldn't want my son to feel entitled because he's on the no-paddle list.
When I was in middle school (6th grade), I remember my music teacher coming back from an extended absence, getting a poor report on the class (I was too quiet in school to be a trouble maker), and lining THE WHOLE CLASS up to be paddled. She didn't ask whose parents had signed for them to be paddled or not. While waiting in line (she paddled each student in a private hallway), I was sooo scared hearing that paddle banging against my classmates' bottoms. When it was my turn to go into the hallway, I cried while telling her that my mom didn't want me to be paddled. She told me to move aside, and then she hit the wall (to make the paddling sound so that the other students wouldn't know that I wasn't excluded from the paddling). I just remember feeling "different" from my classmates because I wasn't allowed to be paddled. I felt badly for them; they were my friends for heaven's sake!
Also, as an elementary school teacher, I wouldn't be able to up and leave my job in the middle of the day because my son is misbehaving. Now, if he's sick or if I need to meet with his teacher or if he's receiving an award or if I'm reading a book to his class that day or if I can "sneak" away to have lunch with him...I'm there!! Even when my students misbehave, I couldn't imagine taking the stance of..."Since you don't want me to paddle him, come get him."
My son is a good child and would probably never (or rarely) give his teacher trouble or warrant being paddled, so I'm simply putting this question out there as an opportunity to dialog about it because, as always, I appreciate the opinions/views of the ladies of MamaSource.
More Answers
M.P. answers from Houston on August 06, 2008
Just reading it upsets me! I would never tolerate that anyone hit my child to correct him! Time outs works fine with him. I find that terrible.
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H.J. answers from Houston on August 06, 2008
In general, if you send your child to a school that utilizes corporal punishment, you CAN "opt out" of it. I have signed a form in the past (can't recall if it was this preschool or the previous one) that said I DID NOT allow my child to have corporal punishment used on her/him.
If you like the school otherwise, make an appointment to talk to the director of the school to voice your concerns and get more information from them.
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H.H. answers from Houston on August 06, 2008
Do YOU agree with following the "scriptural admonition" in correcting your child? What is the "proper and reasonable" rules and procedures? Do they allow for the normal antics of a 3 year old boy? I have a 3 year old boy who is the sweetest boy ever, but he seems to act "crazy" to people who are not familiar with what normal 3 year old boy behavior is! All women who have little boys always tell me he is completely normal, but you should see the looks he/we get in church from the older generation!
I would talk to the school to find out about their expectations regarding behavior. Then, how do you feel about "swats"? It sounds like you would be the one to leave work and "administer" punishment, and if you weren't able, they would do it anyway. If you opt out of corporal punishment, he could be suspended for a day.
I personally don't like their wording, and the words "training your child for Christian leadership" stick with me. I don't want to train my children; they're not puppies. I want to teach. Most places that I see anything about "training" children (like the "Christian" book Babywise), I steer clear of!
You could have the best kid in the world, but he could still "step out of line" according to their expectations. You never know if that will happen, so you have to be prepared. If you don't agree with it at all, then I would say this is not the place for you.
***ETA: I just saw your "What Happened" and realized you weren't really asking for advice! LOL! So, my response still applies, in that I wouldn't want a place that felt so much that it was "God's word" that allows them to do what they do. I believe children should be autonomous creatures (as they were made) and this doesn't sound like a place where that would occur. And that word "training" kept popping up throughout....that worries me!!!
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