What Do You Miss Most?

This is such an interesting question!! I often find myself thinking "if I only had the time...." I miss taking the time to blow dry and straighten my hair. Most days I'm lucky if I have time to shower, let alone fix my hair properly! I also miss putting make-up on and making myself look human! But as the mother of a 2.5 year old and a 6 week old, those things are just distant memories now. :)
Lynsey

As the other mothers have said... I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world... BUT!!!!

I miss sleeping late... watching grown-up movies whenever I want... and taking a BM w/out someone standing outside the door trying to talk to me about legos!

Great posting! My husband and I were talking about this the other night. Neither of us would trade a second of parenting- even the toughest moments, but there are moments when I miss having "me" time and immediately feel guilty for having the thought.

I guess that's what I miss most- not feeling guilty about taking a 20 minute bath, painting my nails, blowing out my hair, exercising, having popcorn for dinner- whatever little indulgence I used to allow myself.

While both of us have lost "our" baby weight, we miss taking 30 minutes a day to exercise. We have 1000 things that "need to happen", but at the end of the day if we haven't stopped to breathe, is it worth it? Yes, the laundry NEEDS to be done, the dishes NEED to be done, lunches NEED to be packed, but I don't think we're bad parents if once in a while JD wears sweats to baby school b/c mommy and daddy took a walk after dinner or watched a movie together without pausing to throw something in the dryer or to run another load of dishes.

I think we all try to be "everything to everyone" and it isn't possible. I like your idea of a resolution that is simple, but will really improve your day-to-day feeling. I would love to say that I will stop feeling guilty for doing my toes, but the reality is there is probably something that should get done during that time. Having said that, I will make every effort to keep up with my nails this year. Selfish? Maybe, but it takes 5 minutes to file and buff and I always feel more pulled together at work when they're done.

Thanks for making us think!

I miss time to read books and the magazines I insist on subscribing.
When my boys were little (they are now 6 and 8), I used to steal some time when they were in bed for the day and watch movies. Saturdays were my BIG days coz STARZ ran new movies back then...Then my boys grew a little and movies were hard to find time for.
As a stay at home mom, keeping up with my boys for the whole day left me knackered to care for a movie. Sometimes I gave into letting them watch TV a little longer than I'd want just so I get a breather.
Last school year we had Fridays for family movie nights. But ever since they started school this year, things have been a little bit hectic, I now work from home as well, and we've lost the family movie times. We get them once in a while. Not so bad, though, but for 2010, I'm planning to get them back.
About beauty rituals and such, I've never been good at it. I wash, scrub, shave...do that all in the shower.....lol
What I'm going to work on in 2010 is bring back my reading time.
OK ladies, that's me.
I wish you all the Merriest of Christmases and a Phenomenal 2010!

L.
Helping Moms Work From Home!

Funny, because I was just thinking about this the other day. I wanted to trim my toenails, which are covered in chipped paint and long overdue for a trim, pedi, some kind of attention (I too used to put lotion on my feet!) My 7-month old started crying and I actually told her to stop because "mommy wants to trim her own nails every once in awhile without interruption!" I miss having breakfast before 11am. Sounds crazy, but by the time I nurse the baby, feed solids, feed the toddler, change both diapers, let the dogs out and in, feed and water them, then attend to whatever crises arise, sometimes it IS 11am and I haven't had a bite to eat or a drop to drink! So sad and pathetic. But there's so much more that I miss. I often look into the mirror and think, "Who ARE you?!" I don't take the time that I used to, and it shows. I feel frumpy, fat, overtired, etc. etc. and I know I look that way half the time. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't give up my kids and husband for anything, just like the rest of you, but I do miss the old me. She's never coming back. I'll have to develop a new version! Gotta run--7 month old is screaming and 3 year old is demanding that I play with him. Merry Christmas girls!!!

As all the ladies said...there's a lot I've let slide, I realized a while ago that I schedule everything for the boys(10,9,7,6, and3) but I didn't for myself...well as of last year I "clock out" @ 9pm...and from 9 to whenever I fall asleep is me time, no guilt in there...I'll admit on thursdays I'm guilty of folding laundry while watching Grey's, but I never miss it ...I kick my husband to the bedroom tv and I watch MY shows that night!! Once a month on a Monday evening I go and scrapbook with a group of women...and if my husband can't take the boys to whever they need to go, then they don't go that one night a month. I run all day everyday and I finally figured out that one night a month is not to much to ask for and the boys know and they even seem to be happy for me(of course I'm out scrappin pictures of them...lol). I love my husband and children and I think they love me more now that I am happier...I put them to bed and I exercise...I am teaching them the value of self worth by taking care of myself both physically and mentally...there is no reason not to take the time for myself. So ladies...if you're not doing something for yourself...write it down or plug it in to to calendar, your much more likely to do it if it's there staring you in the face!!

I used to get manicures and pedicures regularly. My son is 17 MO and I've had one pedicure since he was born for my bday (I think). Usually my nails are a mess and lately my feet are really feeling rough. I haven't been to the movies in as many months, and I've always loved going to the movies. Mostly I miss just being able to sleep soundly through the night and being able to wake up whenever I want to. My son it a terrible sleeper so we usually wake up several times during the night. And on those very rare nights when he doesn't wake me up, my internal clock goes of and I start wondering why he hasn't woken me up and I spend the rest of the night worrying whether he's breathing well or not. A few weeks back my husband and I spent the night alone in the City while my mom babysat. We stayed in a hotel and the highlight of the night was going to bed at 10pm to SLEEP. Sex....what's sex? These days, sleep is so much more important. I miss having a clean, clutter-free house too. My husband and I work full-time so on the weekends I have to fit in all the chores (groceries, cleaning, laundry, cooking for the week, etc.) and I just can't keep up with it all most week. As you can see, I miss a lot but I LOVE being a mom. My son has SOOOO much energy and there are days that he really tests our patience and will, but when he smiles and give me a hug I melt. He's so amazing and worth every bit of sacrifice. Happy Holidays and all the best in 2010.

Well It's nice to know, we're all in the same boat 8-)
I have a 3 yr old son and I'm pregnant now (due in May). Before I had my son, I would workout 5-7 days a week (2 hours a day), get my nails done every other week..Facials and massages monthly...and get my hair cut and colored every couple of months..Now I'm lucky if I shower. I miss all of that! I spoiled myself before, now I spoil my son. I miss having 2 seconds to breath and relax and just sit in silence. I also miss a clean house! No matter how much we try, chaos suddenly errupts 8-) But then my son hugs me and says I love you and it's all worth it. I still want "me time", but I'll get it back some day 8-)

Thanks too for this post! So many great ideas and perfect timing for a new year's resolution or two!

I've missed having a glass of wine over great conversation with my husband. No excuses for us... our daughter sleeps great, it's just that an old SVU re-run is usually more convenient than opening a bottle of wine, lighting some candles and really listening to each other. After taking the time to do that last night, complete with the Xmas tree lights on and some holiday music, I am committed to making it a more regular thing in the new year, even if we do have a baby :)

After having a second baby exactly 2 years after the first, my life is now also controlled chaos. I consider it a good day if I can do all of the following: Get to work on time, Put eye makeup on (I don't even bother with a full face anymore) and eat breakfast. Rarely I get to do all three and some days I do none of the above.
I am trying to get my hair cut every few months. With curly hair I can get away with not cutting for as much as 18 months--but I want to look as good as I can. Although I don't have a daughter to impress upon, I figure I am teaching my sons that women respect themselves and take good care of themselves.
Happy Holidays!
May you find a few extra hours of sleep and some waking quiet time under the tree!!

M., what a great idea. i am also putting together a 'ME' list for the new year. Mine includes taking those 10 minutes at night and taking care of my skin. I am also going to use that really expensive jet tub we put in 5 years ago. And i am going to read the stack of book that have been put off so that i could read Thomas and Frog & Toad and the Little Engine that Could.

M.: thanks for getting me to write it out, always more effective when it is in writing.

M.

M.,

I'm reading all of these responses with last night's makeup smeared down my face, scaly feet and dry cuticles. You are absolutely right. I plan on taking the few minutes every day to take these small steps that I know will make me feel better. Hopefully it will snowball into taking a walk everyday, getting a pedicure once or twice a month, and who knows where we will go from there.

Thanks for the great post. Have a very happy holiday and a wonderful new year.

-R.

I really miss going to the gym...I haven't gone since my 2 yr old was born - I tried in the beginning but it was to much with working full time and I wanted any free time to be with my son - I still do, but I really miss going to the gym. I have been considering getting a new membership but with the economy being the way it is and the holidays I have not. I asked my mom for a partial membership for Christmas and I am hoping she comes though, but she probably will not b/c its so expensive. A Retro Fitness actually took the place of my old gym and they are pretty cheap, so after the holidays settle down, I'll consider it - theres also one by my office so maybe I can use both with one membership - but yes, I MISS THE GYM! Its just to hard to work out at home and while I try to walk/run around the neighborhood, I really just miss the ellyptical machine and everyting a gym offers. I know I sacrifice a lot and its hard but I try to tell myself that one day it will change,this is my choice. I already see how fast time is going by so I just try to do the best I can. We all do right! But balance is important so I hope we all find a little more in the new year! Cheers!

Somehow I have a weak pamper-me gene, because I had no idea women had elaborate daily rituals until I was in college. (Turns out my mom did, but she did it privately in her bathroom, almost always when we weren't around!)
Now, at 40, I am still not in the habit of pampering myself. I have a 3-minute face in the morning that gets a litte lipstick touchup during the day. I always wash my face and moisturize, although that didn't start until 5 years ago. I do moisturize my skin before getting dressed. That seems like a lot to me, but I would love to carve out time to pamper myself more. It seems quite extravagant, but I'm sure I deserve it. I just don't know if I will do it or not!

OMG, I'm with you. I dream about the day I will actually wash, moisturize, and (gof forbid!) exfoliate my face before bedtime. I have an almost 3yo that is a very light sleeper, and the upstairs bathroom is right next to her room. With baby #2 coming next month, who knows when I'll be able to realize my "dream!!". Maybe I'll just go for it! Thanks for the inspiration.... Happy New Year!

I miss bubble baths at 11 am. I have a 3 yr. old and a 17 yr. old still at home out of my four children.

I miss the days when my son would get on the bus at 7:30am and I would have until 3pm to do whatever I wanted. I love my kids to death, but on my days off having to schedule my daughter's naps when my son's at basketball practice just so I could get 1 1/2 hrs to myself is getting ridiculous.

My daughter takes naps at daycare so when I get home at 5pm...she's raring to go when all I want is my "quiet time".(Which I get once a week.)

Oh well, I have the next week and a half off cause I work at a high school. Maybe I can get some peace during that time.

I really miss just going to the store and taking my time to look around. I have a one year old son and every time i got to the store, if i take long at all, he throws a fuss. He starts to cry, gets cranky, ect and im forced to leave. I used to take a good hour in the store, just walking around and viewing all the merchandise.

One thing I did when my son was around 2 years old, and I was feeling like I hadn't done anything for myself. Was to let him take an extra long bath, and I would read magazines, soak my feet, lotion my feet. He played carefully under a watchful eye, and I was able to feel like I did something for my mental health.

You know M., wish you didn't write this :(. Even though I think about myself in pre-kids era quite a bit, having to read what you wrote just made me a bit sad.
I don't know what I miss more. Adult conversation without interruptions, a nice game of chess, going out for a cup of coffee by myself sitting outside and just enjoying the scenery. Reading a book, and I mean read it, not read a page, and then go back to it a month later.
I miss keeping up with my haircut and color. Believe it or not I started growing my hair a few months ago just because I don't have time to keep up with short haircut which requires trimming every 4-5 weeks. I don't have that time to myself. So it will grow, and I so don't like long hair.
I have not had time to put proper make-up in years. I go out you'd think after having mowed the yard a thousand times. I don't even bother wearing my nice clothes because I know they'll get dirty before you can say dirty.
so i miss a lot. I love being a mom, I just wish I had family living in this country so I can enjoy some time to myself or for myself. I don't have that luxury.

Moms, I promise you that when your kids are older and more self-sufficient you'll get some of your life back. Now that my daughter's 10, in school full-time and doesn't need the kind of attention she did in early childhood, I have the time again to read several pages of a good book, exercise and maintain some semblance of a beauty routine while she does her homework after dinner. Lately she's shown an interest in developing a beauty routine of her own along with me. We used to bond during play time; now we bond while washing our faces in the bathroom together.

That said, I do miss spontaneous sex with my husband. Any time, in any room of the house. When our daughter was a baby, we were either too exhausted or some internal radar would alert her to the fact that Mommy and Daddy were getting it on during her nap and wake her up a half-hour early. Ever since she became mobile she was capable of walking in on us at any time. I can't even imagine her reaction if she interrupted us at her current age when a simple hug and kiss in front of her elicits a disgusted "Ewwwww..."

Good question; I'm sure you're going to be flooded with responses.