What Do I Do First?

Updated on December 28, 2014
S.E. asks from Landenberg, PA
23 answers

I had a crack form in my diamond ring's band. I have been wearing the ring for 17 years so it had gotten really thin on the bottom of the band. So, hubby took it to a reputable jeweler to have it repaired. When he gave it back to me, he knelt and asked me to marry him again - the kids thought it was so cute. But, it did not take me long to see that the stone was different. Not a little, but very.

I know that most people insist this does not happen. But, what most people do not know is that I am legally blind. My vision is at its best about an inch from my eyeball. My kids call it my bionic vision - it is great for splinters! The thing of it is - I probably "see" my ring more clearly than most. I am intimately aware of the tiniest details of how the stone fit in its setting. The setting is damaged and the stone is not mine. I am certain.

Hubby barely believes me and is humoring me. I am beyond upset. I know it does not change anything about my life or my love for my husband. But, I know I have been stolen from and that it would be almost impossible to prove. I don't even know where to begin. I am going to take it back to the original jeweler we bought the ring from - along with the original paperwork to have them tell me if they think the stone is the original. (I think it s a cubic zirconium now) What else can I possibly do? The jeweler I am taking it to already laughed at me over the phone! Any ideas? What do I do?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Seriously, I cannot believe some one insinuated that my husband cashed out my ring! Yeesh.

I am going to the original jeweler tomorrow. I'll update you all on what he says.

Final? Update - the original jeweler that we bought the stone from says it is the original stone - or at least it is the same category stone and it is a real diamond. He says that it appears the "fixing" jeweler accidentally crushed the setting and dislodged the stone. He fixed it but it left the marks and damage that I see. I still have not decided what I want to do about it. I am really angry on one hand, but the ring essentially looks OK, it is only my eyes that see the problems. So I am trying to balance my desire to have things made right with my desire to just move on with my life. The jeweler said it was still held in tightly and only one prong looked as if it had been weakened. But, that it would be a long time before that weakness became a genuine problem. Sigh.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

O.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

That's awful. I would take it to another jeweler and find out if it is not real. If it isn't, I would talk with an attorney.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Boston on

When you leave a piece of jewelry to be repaired you should have gotten a receipt with the value on it. That is standard. So if the repair receipt says it is worth, say, $3k and you now go back to them and ask them to appraise it, they should come up in the same range. Also have the ring appraised by another jeweler. If the new value is not in the same range something happened to reduce it.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I believe the original paperwork is key. Take it to the jeweler where you got it and have the stone checked out vs the paperwork.

You don't know anything for certain until a certified jeweler can determine if it is different or not. Actually, any good jeweler should be able to read your paperwork, analyze the diamond and give you some answers.

I am not sure what you could do from that point on other than prove to the jeweler who recently worked on it and then see how they handle it. If you have proof in hand it would be hard for them to deny the issue. At least they would find out that they had an untrustworthy jeweler on the premises. They should also be insured for cases such as this.

Why did hubby not take it back to the original jeweler to start with? I realize that is not always possible. I have a very old diamond in a very old type cut which would be very obvious if someone were to try to switch it out. Like you, I have original paperwork and I am insured as well.

I know that you can't always be on site watching any repairs but there are jewelers out there who do it. I go to an appraiser who does all of his work right in front of me with my diamond, diamond earring studs and watch. My pieces never leave my sight. Hopefully you can find someone like that.

I am sorry this has happened to you. Keep us posted.

11 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Wausau on

I also have 'bionic vision' when it comes to closeups! I always figured this was my consolation prize for having no distance vision.I have only met one other person that can see the things I can see.

I have a ring with a tiny central flaw that only I can see with the naked eye. If you say this is a different stone, I 100% believe you and I would absolutely pursue it, getting verification from the original jeweler, presenting it to the repair jeweler, then filing a police report if necessary.

11 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My diamond was switched by a so called reputable jeweler too. I believe you! I had the original appraisal so it was blatantly obvious the diamond was not mine. Since this jeweler was the only one who ever had possession of my ring besides me I knew they switched it. My husband went to the jewelry store and asked to speak to the owner. He showed him the appraisal and showed them the new diamond in my ring that had flaws visable to the naked eye. The jeweler switched out the diamond and gave us a new appraisal all the while denying anyone in their store would do this.

This also happen to my mother...she sued and won the law suit. In my mom's case the jeweler didn't secure the diamond very well in the setting. Had my mom not noticed it was not her diamond, it was probably only a matter of time before the diamond would have fallen out of the setting and been lost for good.

Best of luck. I know how upsetting this is.

9 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

You're taking it to the original jeweler with the paperwork. They will be able to identify it from that. If they determine it is the wrong stone, then you file a police report. But you'd better be dang sure your husband didn't simply trade it in on a new ring.

Eta - right, because I know your husband so well and know he would never do that. And because we never have women come on here telling stories about their husbands doing something bad they never expected. And as Sadie said, the first person the jeweler will accuse is you or your husband - you have no proof. All I know is that MY husband would never question or downplay a concern of mine about something like that. He's "humoring" you?? Yeah... Good luck!

8 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Sorry this has happened to you.

I think it's great that you have all the original paperwork and can go back to the original jeweler. From there, you can decide about contacting the police. Don't diamonds have some kind of registration number, some jeweler's or diamond cutter's mark on them?

I'm not sure if the average person can tell a cubic zirconia stone from a diamond, but a good jeweler or appraiser can. Get the info and evidence first, then you will know if you have a legal case. I think you might also contact your insurance agent if you have had the stone insured.

Good luck.

7 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Did your original stone have an ID scribed on it??
Did you have your ring insured?
When was the last appraisal you had done on your ring?

If you have any of that? Call your insurance company and tell them what you know to be true and file a claim. They will take the appraisal they have on file and compare it to the stone you have now. If it's different? They will pursue legal action against the jeweler.

You need to call the jewelers and let them know there must be some mistake, give them the benefit of the doubt, but let them know the stone is NOT the same and you are hoping they can tell you what happened.

If you had an appraisal done on it? Take it another jeweler that your insurance company recommends and have them evaluate the ring. It will show if the stone is wrong or not...

If you don't have an appraisal? You're screwed, in my opinion.

I would find reviews on the jeweler that your husband took it to. Find out if they are listed with the Better Business Bureau. Are they listed and well rated with the Jeweler Board of Trade?

I'm really sorry. that sucks..it really does....I have all of my jewelry appraised and a copy on file with the insurance company. We have a rider on our home owners insurance to cover them too....

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Dallas on

If you have the original paperwork have the jeweler verify it is not the same stone, in writing. Then take that to the jewelry shop that repaired the ring, speak to the owner, and explain that your ring was returned with a different stone. If they do nothing file a police report.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I have heard of this happening. Take it back to the original jeweler, and see what they say.

After that, let it go. The most important thing is that your husband knelt and asked you to marry him again. That's way more important than an object.

6 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I can't imagine a jeweler doing this. Most people have an appraisal for their insurance and it would be so easy to show the stone was changed.

I have a map that shows where the one flaw is, if you switched the stones it would be beyond obvious.

I would also think if they did something as obvious as a CZ they would not laugh but ask you to come in and switch them back because that could be proven without any good documentation on your part.

So yeah, take it to the original jeweler

I just want to add after reading the other responses, why is everyone saying go to the police first? If you considered how often people pull the this isn't the same stone, mine was bigger to try to put one over on the jeweler you shouldn't be surprised they laughed at you. If you had gone to them with the jeweler I bought this from said it is not the same stone they probably would not have laughed. If it is not the same stone it could have been some sloppy error, not fraud. So just start by finding out if you are right and go from there

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Google the jewelers name and their ratings. See if any dirt comes up with them. People will always post something bad and not necessarily good. If you read a bunch of hoopla about xx Jewelers are the best, I'm coming back to them for a lifetime, I wouldn't necessarily buy it, as people are often more specific.

Then yes take it back to the jeweler that sold you the set. They will know if the stone has been changed out because they can see the setting has been moved.

Take your findings and file a police report and as well, report it to your state Attorney General.

So sorry this has happened.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Your original paperwork should have some very specific information about the diamond in it- specifically related to the four "c's," cut, color, clarity, and carats. The cut information refers to the shape of the stone, but also should have very specific and precise measurements on depth, length of each side, etc. Color refers to how "clear" the stone is, and is again a quite precise measurement. Clarity can be as specific as a fingerprint- your original description should include the size, color, and location of any flaws or inclusions in your original stone. Finally, the carat is a measurement of weight and is again very precise. Comparing all of these descriptors between your original paperwork and the stone currently in your ring is easy for any trained gemologist. Diamonds are each natural and unique. Telling if it is a diamond or a cubic zirconium should be a matter of moments, telling one diamond from another may take a little longer, but you should be able to easily get a definitive answer. If you are unsure, get a second opinion from a third gemologist, someone who does not have any stake in the game. The gemologist should be able to put the stone under a microscope for you and show the location of flaws, show you the weight, etc. if everything matches up. And yes, you need to ask a gemologist, not just the lady behind the counter at the mall jewelry store :) My grandparents, aunt, and uncle are all fine jewelers and two are gemologists, I have a degree in geology, so I do know a bit about this :)

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

I have heard of this happening.

It is also very hard to prove. For example, if this jeweler did switch, there would be no way to prove it was him vs. you, your husband or anyone else in the 17 years you have had the ring.

Your story that your eyesight is able to see the difference most likely is not enough for the burden of proof required by the court of law.

Next time (sorry, hopefully your diamond was not switched and the difference is it being clean or something)bring your documents and have the jeweler look and it and acknowledge it is the same before working on it and then when it is picked up use your amazing eyes or bring an independent expert.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

After your SWH: remember we don't know your husband. Don't take the suggestion of that possibility personally. It does happen.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

I'm very curios about the outcome of this. Please post an update. Hope this all works out in the end.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If you have the original paperwork from your diamond with the diamond's inclusions and imperfections plotted then I think you would have a slam dunk case if you could prove this stone was different.

Otherwise, I would think you could take it to another jeweler to determine the authenticity of the diamond.

I would think your original paperwork is key. Otherwise it could be a lesser diamond and you'd have trouble proving it.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

it's unlikely, but certainly possible. i think taking it and the paperwork to the original jeweler is absolutely the best thing to do.
i'm looking forward to your update. i sure hope your bionic vision is wrong!
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

What did the "reputable jeweler" say to you when you ask about your concerns?

If you didn't at least speak with someone at that jewelry store, that is where you need to start. They should have made some notes about the ring you brought them. It's in their best interest to do this, as there are people who would make false claims. If something really did happen, they will want to know because they have a reputation to protect and because it is possible that an individual employee could have swapped out the stone without the owner's knowledge. They will want to know if there is an employer hurting their good name.

I would start by talking to the owner/manager who repaired your ring. See what they have to say.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

If it is a cubic zirconium you would be able to tell just by looking at it, or at least anyone with any training at all could. So take it in someplace and ask them to look at the stone.

But I can't imagine a place doing this, most people with a stone big enough or valuable enough to make something like that worth the risk would also have the ring appraised and insured before having work done, so any reputable jewelry would be unlikely to take such a risk.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Boston on

I would do what you're doing and if it's confirmed that the stone is not the same, I would file a police report. There was jeweler in upstate NY this year who was caught selling fake diamonds, so things like this do happen.

Before filing the police report I'd make sure my husband knew just in case he did something really, really dumb...it's a terrible thing to consider but I'd rather catch my husband being stupid than have the police discover something like that...

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

ETA

I wouldn't take the information back to the thief. I'd take the information to the police. They need to set this person up and arrest them for all sorts of things. If you go back there and "prove" they stole it then they'll hide everything and not do it again for a while.

First:

Verify the stone is different and what it is. Then take that information to law enforcement.

**************************************

I would take the ring back to the original jeweler with as much paperwork as I had.

My father in law is a federation judge for the American Federation of Mineralogical Societies and when we got insurance that included my jewelry he took my wedding set apart and appraised them. He listed each detail and flaw. If someone changed out my rings his appraisal would stand up.

If this stone has been replaced then that repair service should be held accountable. No telling how many others he's done this to over the years.

1 mom found this helpful

K.I.

answers from New York on

Oh, good luck woman! I would be so upset!
I also know my ring and its flaws perfectly (after spending that kind of $ on a rock & 17+ years that happens for some of us) luckily for me my husband was even more aware when choosing my diamond and he knows it by sight as well. I cant imagine my level of frustration if my husband was humoring me...ugh!

Always Always Always gotta look at it under the loop before you pick it up...do you still have your paperwork with your diamond 'map'?

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions