What Controversial Parenting Decision Are You Glad You Stuck To?

With my older son, CIO at the age of 12 months. It was VERY controversial in my household, as my hubby was against it as well as his parents who lived with us. It took 2 nights. The first night my MIL planted herself in the doorway of my son's bedroom, wailing with tears streaming down her face, telling me that I was heartless and cruel. I had to end up pushing her out of the way since she wouldn't let me leave the room. The first night was a 2 hr cry marathon which included 2 bouts of vomitting. The 2nd night was 45 min, 1 episode of vomit. The 3rd night there was 3 min of mild crying and ever since then my son has slept through the night virtually every night.

Sleep training/CIO - because my kids are perfect sleepers and have been from early on.

Oh and by the way...they're certainly not neglected and had their needs met - they 'needed' to sleep :)

I give whoopings! And i am proud of it! and dare some other mother tell me I am a bad parent because I do!!!!(especially the ones who's own children don't kow how to act in public, throw temper tantrums, call them out their names, tell them to shut up,mouth off all the time and hit them)! I give whoopings and i'm glad i got them and give them as long as they are needed!

Cry it out and spanking when it's called for. I don't care what ANYONE says, it's what was best for my kids and for me and they have turned out great!

Fun question!!! Can't wait to follow-up and read the answers!!

1) Cold turkey, "Cry-It-Out" sleep training. My children have been sleeping 12-13 hours (solid) through the night ever since they've been about 10 months old or so. And they are the most well-adjusted, "attached" children anyone could hope for!! (Plus, Mommy has been healthier and happier for getting a solid nights sleep for years!)

2) Early bedtimes. At ages 4 and 3, my kids still start their bedtime routines at 7:15pm. And they still sleep 11-12 hours straight. Yes, my hubby doesn't see them for an extended amount of time during the week, but my kids are healthy, healthy, healthy!

EDIT: I call these controversial because they were the "issues" that my own family and friends confronted me about. It's not about the general disagreements between the Mamasource "camps." I think this is a fun question -- not something to rile the masses! :) To each, her own!!!

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Both my parents and in-laws do not believe in "autism or spectrum disorders" or "ADHD" so we've been into quite a good fights for sending him to therapy, and neurologists and psychologists and what not.
Also I very rarely let my parents, I don't let my in-laws go out with him without me, because they won't restrain him properly while in the car, which has already resulted in our fair share of scares.
My son needs the therapy, and by God, he will get it, even if they don't like it and fuss every time we have to go!! =)

Anything can be considered controversial these days, how long or if one breast feeds, when they start solids, elimination training, when to start school, the list goes on and on, and not one way is better than another, it is all simply about what works best for that family and that child. None of us should judge the others around us, we are all just doing our best and what we feel is right for our kids. As long as we love them with all we have, anything else we happen to get right is just icing on the cake!

I like this question! Thank you for posting it!

First, we put our newborns in their own rooms in their own beds from week one. OMG! Shocking, I know. There was never a CIO period in this at all. We would cuddle and rock every night in the glider, and I would put them down awake! They self soothed and learned how to fall asleep by themselves. My happy, healthy, never neglected children were both sleeping 12 hours per night by the time they were 10-12 weeks old.

I pumped breast milk for months! And that is how I fed my children because it was the best decision for my family after weeks of breastfeeding hell.

Both of my kids took a pacie until their 1st birthday!

We let our kids watch TV! Even the dreaded Spongebob!

We eat McDonalds french fries, and occasionally get an ice cream cone when we leave!

I am thankful that I listen to my baby's cues always. No matter what anyone or any book says-- my baby's cry is important to me. I respond immediately to my baby and listen to what he needs. I also didn't buy into the drama of reading five million books on parenting styles etc. I do what is natural to me and feels most comfortable. We are a co-sleeping, breastfeeding, natural diapering family etc. Most things go against the norm of what others are comfortable with . But to our family, it works and we are happy and thriving because we do what is best for our family.

Depends on which "camp" you are in. The things I did are not at ALL controversial in the natural and attachment parenting crowd, because I firmly fit in that crowd--as a midwife. From home birth (my father insisted that for all three of my children I have had no prenatal care at all because I never saw an MD or an OB--no matter that my midwives have over 80 years of experience between them and have caught thousands of babies at home, OR that my prenatal care consisted of hour long visits, often at my own home, rather than 5 minutes of OB time in an office), to family bed, to breastfeeding long past a year (3, 4, and 4 1/2, respectively), to not immunizing except in situations that specifically called for it--I'm not against a tetanus shot when there is a puncture wound, but I am against piles of unnecessary immunizations in a baby's immature immune system-- to positive parenting techniques that never included spanking or letting a child cry it out rather than trying to treat that child as a person and figure out what was going on and why they were crying, to never teaching them that McDonalds was "food" or having them eat the totally "brown food" children's menus at restaurants but instead teaching them to like all kinds of cuisines, including vegetarian, from the beginning.

These things, of course, were controversial among mainstream American parents, doctors, and popular media. I am glad I chose all of them.

I have now a set of very healthy, intelligent, powerfully confident, well behaved, broad thinking and open-minded daughters at ages 11, 17, and 20, who I know I can trust to speak for themselves, do well at anything they set their minds to, and manage their own lives knowing that they always have my support and love whenever they need it.

Oh! And no cell phones until high school. No in-room computers or tv's, there is one of each of these in the house in a public space. No video games at all that require special equipment, though I'm starting to lean towards a Wii because we live in Oregon and the winter months are so rainy it's hard to get your exercise in a fun way.

This to me, is such a stupid easy decision I can't believe how much of an issue it has been - my kids have no video games, no gameboy, no Wii, no DSI or whatever the latest incarnation is. MIL offered to buy them one if we were too tight on the money (she actually phrased it that way!) I told her I would rather she spent that money on something else that did not require batteries.

Let's see, I'm a pretty controversial person so here's a list of some of them:

extended breastfeeding (2 1/2 - 3 years)
co-sleeping
spanking
allowing sugar (GASP!)
homeschooling
non-sanitizing (I don't freak out about germs, language, imagery...any of it and my kids are very healthy, very well adjusted and are still innocent and loving - it's all in how you teach them to approach the world)
vaccinating (I do)
I didn't introduce solids until they wanted them, so my boys were on just breastmilk until they were 8 and 9mo
Attachment Parenting (if they're crying, I pick them up of course!)

and so on... lol! I guess I just like to swim upstream! :)

Co sleeping, NOT letting them cry it out, natural birth, selective immunizations, homeschooling until first, NOT spanking, complete honesty, breastfeeding past the age of 1, liberal bedtimes that functioned with the schedule changes, religious freedom and teaching (introducing many ideas of God), not censoring most content, vegetarianism, and the truth about food,

you name it

NO video games. Not controversial, but most parents thought I was crazy. NO game boy, DS, nintendo, X-box, etc. We did have educational games like Jump Start they could play on the computer that was not connected to the internet. Now that they are teens, I do allow them to play some games on the internet.

No TV in bedrooms. No TV, Wii, DS, or playing with neighbor friends until homework is done after school. No friends over after dinner on school nights. I'm very strict about school night bedtimes.

I actually, gasp, let them keep their Halloween candy instead of throwing it all away, or trading it for a toy. All we do is just keep it put away and they can only have a small amount each day. I'm a believer in sweets are OK in moderation vs. candy and sugar is the root of all evil.

Mine is no gates on my steps. I have family members who are up in arms about it but I'm okay with it! My kids have a better understanding of stairs and how to use them! My daughter was going up and down on her own, without falling and unassisted, from 9 months on. My almost 12 month old is having a bit more trouble (he's a total momma's boy!;) but he can go up with no problems but just wants mommy to carry him down! Ugh. I'm still working on him, but even with a more watchful eye I'm still glad we don't have gates!

Co-Sleeping with my son and now with my daughter. And breastfeeding my son till he was two. We'll see how long my daughter will breastfeed. Co-sleeping is such a no-no here in the U.S. but millions of mothers around the world do it and it has worked great for my family. Do what works for your family and be proud of it!!

LOL! In laws! Pediatricians advise you to wait until 6 months! That should hardly be controversial.

Extended nursing - son #1, Co-sleeping (all 3 sons).

Extended breastfeeding.

For me it is:
!. passing on the word of God and raising my children in his ways.
2. we tell the truth about Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, and Teeth Fairy ect. (they get things and understand they come from us, if we lie to them about this and they find out why would they believe me and follow our rule of no lies after mom and dad just broke it)
3. Home schooling (Best thing for they)
4. Stopped vaccinating them (Been healthier than I have ever seen them)

I really like Jessica C's statement about the people around them sharing her views our accepting them. I have meet and made friend's all over the U.S. that share what we do and it is great.

Not letting the doctor give my children multiple vaccines at one time. I have four children and about 11 years ago is when i had my daughter and they wanted to give her three shots at once. I refuse to let them give more than one shot at a time in a two week period. It meant that i had to make several trips to the doctor but i did not care. The risk was to great. My mother and mother inlaw are both nurses and they believe this is the cause of autism or developmental delays in babies. I have given all my friends the same advise and i can report that we have happy healthy children with no developmental delays.

Also teaching my kids there is no Santa Claus. That the gifts they get are from their hard working parents, grandparents, family and friends. Why give a fat man in a red suit the credit for my hard work.

Great question. It's fun to read all the responses!

1. So glad we did NOT circumcise our son.
2. Glad that we decided to do a modified sleep training - he is amazing sleeper!
3. I am so grateful that I am vaccinating him, but not 3, 4 or 5 at a time
4. SKIPPING the MMR!
5. glad i breastfed and even happier that we gave pumped milk so that he was able to take a bottle when I went back to work
6. pacifier!

Overall, our son is almost 18 months and there is not anything that we really regret or would do different. Our little guy is the best thing that happened to us:)

We also did not begin solid foods until between four and six months. There were some foods (peanut butter, strawberries, fish) that we did not introduce until age three on either of my sons.

The most "recent" controversial decision (we started when my seven-year old was three) is homeschooling. I always knew I would homeschool any children that I would have (I also was homeschooled).

So thankful for both of these decisions!

K.

Great question, and so funny, because these days what is controversial depends on what side of the "parenting road" you are on. I lean more towards natural, attachment style parenting, so some things our family chooses to do may seem controversial I guess.

I do not regret:
Natural (no drugs) birth
co-sleeping
extended breast-feeding, my daughter will be two in Nov, and still nurses 3x a day. (she is the healthiest child I have ever met!)
Delaying and choosing an alternate vaccine schedule.
Responding to my daughters needs rather than letting her cry it out.
Minimal to No TV, at least until she is two.
Allowing her to eat a cookie or chocolate chip here and there, you should see her face when she tries something yummy... such pure happiness!

I limit my friends to those who share my views, or accept them, so I never feel judged about any of my decisions. I am lucky to live in a very alternative part of the world so there is a lot of support here!

Best decision I made and will stand behind 100% for life is not vaccinating my children. Many people in my family, friends, etc didn't/don't understand this (because they will not do the research themselves) and the discussions and arguements still go on and on- my youngest is almost 5 and oldest is almost 12. You would think we have been through it and done by now but no it keeps coming up. I disagree with them when they mention getting kids shots but do not harp on it, however they will harp on me when I tell them no I am not taking my kids in for shots, etc.
Every parent needs to make the decisions they feel are best and right for their children- noone knows your lifestyle, and your children like you do.

Most of my friends' children, as well as my childrens' friends watched unlimited TV. I limited my kids to 90 minutes a day and monitored what they watched. I got a lot of flack- and not just from my kids! I held my ground, however and just the other day my now-21-year-old told me how much he now appreciates that rule, as he sees (most) TV as a huge waste of time.