49 answers

Wedding, Pregnant Sister?

Hello, I am new on here but I hear that this website is alot of help, with mutiple issues, from a friend. My problem is not mother-related. My problem is about my wedding.

To begin, I am 21, the baby of the family (2 sisters), and the first to get married out of my sisters. I am getting married Oct. 8th of this year. My fiancee proposed to me around Thanksgiving. I have begin planning since then with 7 bridesmaids, 2 maid honors (my sisters), etc.............

To make a long story short, I pick my date shortly after my fiancee proposed. My issue now is that my sister just recently found out that she is pregnant. Her due date is Sept 5, just barely a month before my wedding. She says that most of the time you do not make it to your due date because she badly wants me to keep her as the maid of honor. She claims she will be ready and that she will just have to size her dress about 2 weeks before the wedding.She has one child, so I do not think she has enough experience to make this call. I think this will be disastrous. I don't know much about having children, being that I dont have any YET, but I thought you were advised to stay in for six weeks, in which hers will not be up by my wedding date. I am throwing hints trying to let her know that I think that she should consider just being a guest.

I know that this is a very special day, being that I am the baby sister, but this is my special day. I do not want her to risk her health trying to be in my wedding. I also don't want to plan a wedding including her and she will not be able or up to attending. I do not want to change my wedding date because my fiancee and I pick this date because it was special to us. Do you guys honestly think that she will be mentally and physically ready to be in my wedding OR how should I tell her she can not?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

WOW, THAT WAS FAST!!!! After reading a couple of the responds, I feel that is no need to talk to my sister. Like u guy's said, SHE WILL BE FINE!! I was hinting because I did not want to question her ablility not knowing for certain if I was right. I came on here for advice.I have no experience in having children, so I did not know. I did not know if she would be in pain, trying to walk down and aisle, or what. I never wanted to exclude her, just give her time to rest. OF course, she was still going to be in pictures and fully recognized. I just did not know if she was gonna be able to walk and stand. Now I am confident that she will be okay.
JUST A FACT....most of my family is heavy set so her size will not be an issue to me. I really do not care if she gains a couple pounds if u guys thought that was a factor.

Featured Answers

The 6 weeks thing is not true. She might not look her best. i will tell you, this is not worth a fight. If she thinks she can do it-then let her.

More Answers

i've never been advised to "stay in" for 6 weeks... you mention that she already has one child and "isn't experienced enough" to make her own decision, yet you don't have any kids and you seem to think you know better than her... i was up and down stairs and doing laundry 24 hours after the births of my three children. yeah, you're a little sleep deprived and out of sorts for a few weeks, but i can't see that being in a wedding 4-6 weeks after delivery would pose a problem. it sounds like you just don't want her in it because she might somehow ruin your day(not sure how, she's gonna be standing up for 30 minutes and then taking pictures? are you worried that's she's not going to look presentable?). i think you need to quit throwing hints and just be direct with her if you truly want her out of your wedding, but honestly, i think she'd be just fine. think long and hard on that one, this has the potential to hurt her feelings over what is probably a non-issue. and if there is some odd/unforeseen complication that DOES count her out, will it really matter? she'll wear a dif dress and sit with the family, and things will carry on as if she were standing up there....

6 moms found this helpful

She will be fine and very excited to be a part of your wedding! I really wouldn't worry about it!

4 moms found this helpful

Oh, honey. This is her second baby. A week after that baby is born, she'll be back on her feet with no problems. It will certainly not risk her health to be in your wedding a month or more later! You are sweet to worry for her, but there is no need to. Granted, you may want to pick an empire-waisted dress with wide straps (so she can wear a supportive bra) for her, so she doesn't have to have a fitted dress on when she will still be losing a lot of weight on a weekly basis, but that is a very small issue really. It's more important that your sister who loves you will be there by your side on your big day! I don't think you need to worry about this. She has been through childbirth once already, she knows she will be ready to go to your wedding and I'm sure she wouldn't miss it for the world!

4 moms found this helpful

she should be fine.....you are over reacting. I was walking my kids a mile (each way) to school a week after I had my babies, I put the babies in the stroller and off we went. She has done this before, if she thinks she will be fine, take her word for it. Just because you get 6 weeks off to bond with your baby does not mean that you cannot go anywhere......

3 moms found this helpful

Don't stress so much about it. You have enough to think about. Mom's don't have to stay in for 6 weeks after giving birth. Unless she is on bedrest, there is only a little window where she would not be available for you and that is while she is in the hospital. Couldn't you just be flexible and if she makes it great and if she can't, you still have your other sister as a maid of honor? It sounds like your sister is more than mentally ready and since she has had a baby before, she must think she will be physically ready, too. The second best man will just have to walk by himself if she goes into labor. That would make for a cute story about your wedding.

It almost sounds like you are looking for excuses for her not to be in your wedding. If it were my big sister in the same situation, I would move the ceremony to the hospital just so she could be there with me!

3 moms found this helpful

I honestly think she will be ready one month after the birth. I had a friend who's bridesmaid had a baby only 2 weeks before her wedding, and she did great.
Also, if she already has a baby she would know how well she bounces back from birth. Even if she had a c-section, there shouldn't be any problems one month later.
Women used to have to stay home for weeks after the birth, but that was many many years ago. When I had my last baby I left the hospital the same day as having him, and was pretty much straight back to normal. Within 3 days I was literally doing everything that I was able to do before.
I really think that your sister will be hurt if you drop her from the wedding.

3 moms found this helpful

My sister in law attended my wedding two weeks after giving birth. My sister was IN my wedding about 7 weeks after giving birth. Years from now you will look back at the photos and be glad she is in your wedding even if she hasnt lost the weight, and she will be happy even if she is tired

3 moms found this helpful

She will not be a month overdue, and if she orders correctly- oversized- and has alterations, she should be fine. If you can pick a-line or empire style waist dresses, or let each girl choose a style, she can reasonably chose a size or two abover her current size and be fine. As your sister, I'm sure she would want to attend and be involved.
You do not have to "stay in" for 6 weeks after birth, but if she has a c-section, she will be taking it easy for a couple weeks.
If she says she is up for it, let her go for it!
I was in a friends 5 weeks after the birth of my 1st baby and all was well.
Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

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