Weaning Help

is it possible someone else can get up with him at 2 am. As long as he keeps getting up and you keep bf him he is going to want it. At 13 months he no longer needs to eat in the middle of the night. when you are in there with him- you have what he wants so its probably best to have someone else get him to sleep.

Hi there T.,

Weaning is definitely a time that is bitter sweet. When I weaned my daughter I replaced nursing with a different comfort item. I know this sounds weird but we used a heating pad. NOT an electric one!!! One of the bags with beans or rice in it that you put in the microwave to warm up. She called it her "warm" and whenever she went to sleep I'd give her that instead. I'm sure that any comfort item would work. ;)

Good luck in all you do!

C.
www.EnhanceYourWayOfLife.com

I have a baby girl who was born Feb.8th, 2007, so just about on the 13 month mark. We are still nursing in the night also, as well as during the day. This has been normal for all of my four children. Some day I'll sleep through the night too!

The middle-of-the-night feeding was the last one my son gave up too, at 13 months. He was big & healthy & certainly didn't need it; he just liked the warmth & cuddling. Once we were more than ready to stop that feeding, when the baby cried my husband would go to the nursery, hold him & offer a bottle of water. That did the trick within just a few nights!

I would suggest contacting the following sources. They are very likely to have more positive information for you about which birth control methods are safe while breastfeeding.

For example, this source seems to question what your doctor said about your needing to have him weaned before you can start on the pill that you want. It looks to me that their only concern is the milk supply, not any harm to the baby.

"Hormonal methods

Controversy surrounds the use of hormonal birth control methods in breastfeeding women, particularly regarding when they should be started and whether or not combination oral contraceptives should be used. Resarch has not shown that the estrogens and progestins used in oral contraceptives (OCs) ingested by the mother are harmful to human infants, but it is known that estrogens can reduce milk supply in some women. Croxatto et al. and Peralta et al. have shown that combination oral contraceptives have a “moderate” inhibitory influence on lactation even if instituted after milk supply is well established.(4,5) Tankeyoon noted a 41.9 percent decline in milk volume with combination OCs.(6) The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists states that the use of combination pills is acceptable if women are informed of the risk of a decreased milk supply.(7) It is prudent to avoid their use in women who are committed to continued breastfeeding since many other choices are available.

The progestin-only oral contraceptives, injectable progestins, and progestin implants (presently unavailable in the US) have been studied and found to have no adverse effects on breastfed infants.(8,9) When to start progestin-only methods is also a cause for considerable discussion. Initiation of lactation is stimulated by the withdrawal of progesterone that occurs after delivery. Kennedy et al. suggest that one should wait at least three days before administering a progestin.(10) However, there are many anecdotal reports of milk supply being affected by the administration of a progestin-only contraceptive. Although Koetsawang noted an increase in milk supply with progestin-only contraception, Tankeyoon noted a 12 percent decline in supply with oral progestin-only contraception compared to placebo.(6,11) Waiting until at least six weeks postpartum to prescribe progestin-only contraceptives may avoid such effects."

http://www.llli.org/ba/Nov01.html

http://search.llli.org/site/apps/s/google_search.asp?q=bi...

Another source says,
"A small amount of the synthetic hormones in these contraceptives does enter the milk, but there is no evidence that this is a danger to the baby. Follow-up studies have revealed no long-term problems in babies and children who continue to breastfeed while their mothers use hormonal contraceptives, with or without estrogen. Some physicians, however, do question the use of hormonal contraception in lactating mothers because of possible unknown effects on their children's long-term sexual or reproductive development." And then it goes on to describe what your options are....

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/t028700.asp

For weaning, I suggest this resource...
http://search.llli.org/site/apps/s/google_search.asp?q=We...

and this book, which has an excellent chapter on weaning, and which you can find in your local library, or order through inter-library loan...
http://www.amazon.com/Mothering-Nursing-Toddler-Norma-Bum...

For sleep issues, I recommend this resource...
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Read the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" It will help with the sleeping at night thing. One reason I think he is clinging to the nursing is because the bottle was taken away at 6 months old. Did you dr. recommend you to do that? Just because a baby is eating solid foods doesn't mean they no longer have the need to suck, as a matter of fact, my (almost 5-yr. old) son still sucks in his sleep (on nothing, maybe his lip, but I still hear and see the motion!). Its a comfort thing. Also, you should be able to be on the pill and still nursing. I was offered the pill right after both of my children, and I nursed both of them until they were a year old! Does your son have any other comfort measures? pacifier, blankie, sucks his thumb? That's what he needs. And over the next year or two, his world gets scarier and scarier, the more he is able to do and explore, the more uncertain he becomes. Independence is scary to them, and the world is uncertain. So if you take away his comfort zone, you need to replace it. It is possible he actually is hungry at this time, so perhaps a cup but with a straw? so its still a sucking feeling? For sure read the book.....

I can only tell you that it's as emotionally draining for you a well as your child. You have to let someone else go to the child at night to replace you for the comfort they're looking for. I never used the cry method cause it hurt me worse. The child just needs to be comforted but will be looking for you till someone else can step in. I've had to do 4 children this way and my husband would step in at this point. You can't offer the breast at any point after you start. They really do forget quickly! It's harder on you then them! Just stick to the plan and it will work. Good job--my children now are 21--19--13--11--and are very healthy i'm sure due to the breastfeeding!

G. K.

T.:

there are many reasons that baby/children/ adults don't sleep. nursing( nurturing at the breast) is what calms him.

try reading mothering your nursing toddler.

P., RLC, IBCLC, CST
Breastfeeding and Parenting Solutions

T.,

Are you on the mini-pill now? I am not a doctor, but I know that my sister started a pill recently to stop her period (she has endometriosis) and she had a 6 week long period. When she asked the doctor about it, he said that happens as your body adjusts to the pill....

But if you were my friend (which I suppose all moms are friends, right??) I would encourage you to go off any bc pills and try some diet and vitamin changes before going on the full strength pill. You may be able to find a doctor who can work with you on that, and perhaps avoid taking the hormone pill altogether, and thereby (funny word! sorry!) avoid the risks associated with it.

NOW, to your actual question about weaning. You have already tried the things I initially would have suggested: giving him some water or even milk from a bottle/cup. And at his age, CIO is probably fine... Another idea might be (sounds drastic, I know!) actually wake him up *before* he wakes up eat, try to get him to have a little snack, and then soothe him back to sleep w/o nursing. Maybe if you do that a few days, and then slowly give him less (ie just water) he'll stop waking up on his own once you stop waking him up. Does that make sense? I have no idea if that would actually work, but since you've tried everything else...

Good luck!
T.

HI,
I was told with my girls I must go cold turkey. I can't remember who gave me the advise but it was so true. They asked me if I would let my seven year old get up in the middle of the night to eat, so why am I letting my baby do the same thing. I was just setting my baby up for a bad habit and not sleeping through the night.

Hope it helps.

T.--My son and daughter (9 and 8 now) didn't sleep all the way through the night until they were 3 or 4. I didn't bf either long and so usually just a snuggle or a pacifier helped. He does equate mom with food and comfort, and therefore the expectation is that you nurse him while holding him. I would try the pacifier and see if the sucking reflex is what will help soothe him. My kids had them until 2 and didn't have an issue giving it up.

Hi T.,

Congratulations! You have nursed your son for 13 months, and now you are ready to wean him. I see that a lot of people have commented on the pill issue, so I want to clarify something. When nursing, women are typically on progestin-only (progesterone) pills or mini-pills (Depo-Provera and some IUDs are also progestin-only, which are different from the combination pills (progestin and estrogen)that most women are on. A breastfeeding woman may experience decreased milk supply while on combination pills or other forms of combination hormonal contraceptives (ring, etc.), so doctors tend to avoid this form of contraceptive. This creates your dilemma of wanting to wean to go back to a combination pill. Correct? If so, decreased milk supply may not make a difference. Or, are you concerned about the estrogen getting into your baby? At any rate, I don't believe there are any studies that show that progesterone or estrogen have a negative impact on breastfed babies.

Some back-to-sleep methods that you might try: Has your husband tried going in at 2am to put the baby back to sleep? Or, will your son allow you to simply pat or rub his back to go back to sleep? I know as soon as I pick up my son, he wants to nurse, so I've tried these strategies.

Best,
S.

T.,
It could be that he is not getting full enough at his last feeding to sustain him for the whole night. Also, is there a reason you don't try a bottle at that 2am feeding? If your hormones are that out of whack, it is worth a try, a formula supplement at that middle of the night feeding. Don't let people give you a guilt trip about stopping bf... I only bf 1 of 3 (my youngest) and there isn't much of a difference in the kids... All 3 are bright (gifted) academically, and quite healthy. My first two slept through the night by the time they were a month old, and the little one was 4 months. (When I switched to formula.) Good luck!

My son didn't start sleeping through the night until I nightweaned him at 15 months. It was fairly painless for us, really -- my husband went in to him when he woke up instead of me. At first, my son really resisted, but it only took a few days (3 maybe?) until he started sleeping straight through.

I would make sure that he's getting enough solids & whole milk at night -- maybe that's the first place to start.

First, I am sorry to hear that you need to end your breastfeeding. I would check the LLLI.org site or contact your local LLL chapter. There may be a pill you can take that will not effect breastfeeding. As for weaning, I would try nursing him for a shorter lenght of time and shorten it every few days. If it is possible, get your husband involved and send him in only nursing every few days. Children have been reported to smell their mothers milk from up to 20 ft. away. As for your cycles, I recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is an excellent book, that by charting, you may be able to figure out what is going on (preferably before you go on the pill). Nursing, even once a day, can keep the period away.

There is a pill you can take while breastfeeding...I was on it after I had my second daughter. Your milk supply MAY go down while you're on it, but since you're wanting to ween anyway that would actually be a good thing for you. Also, if you still have a lot of milk, pump it out before he goes on at night...then you may not be as appealing to him. If you don't have a lot of milk anymore, the issue isn't that he wants to feed...you have now become a pacifier of sorts and he needs to be introduced to new ways of comforting himself if he wakes up in the night.

Try a soothing instrumental lullaby CD or a stuffed animal or blanket that he will ONLY get in his crib. And when he wakes, go to him, but don't pick him up...just soothe him and use a very soft, soothing voice and rub his back. When he's calmed a bit, lay him back down. He may get worked up again but don't back down, just walk out of the room. After a few mins, repeat this. Eventually he'll get it. Don't stay in the room more than five mins and don't go back in before five mins are up. Each time you leave the room, stay out a bit longer than before. It will be rough at first, but this will help him see that you're there, but you're not going to pick him up and coddle him or nurse him. Keep at it...This worked with both our girls at all their different "not sleeping well" stages and it's worked for the friends of mine who tried it.

GOOD LUCK!

Hi there - I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I'm so glad that you have found nursing to be a great experience. Your son is benefiting so much more than any of us will ever know or understand.
I think that you're experiencing a ripple effect of a problem: Too long of periods = hormone imbalance (which definitely can occur while nursing) and the solution that your Dr. wants is to regulate it with artificial hormones that your body is not producing properly. Perhaps when you stop nursing, you will become regulated again. This is more the norm than the exception.
I suggest seeing an homeopathic Dr. Period problems are very serious and are a sign of imbalance in your system. So, fixing the root cause of the imbalance is the best way to to, as opposed to trying to put a bandaid on it (taking the Pill to regulate). Our homeopathic Dr. in Naperville is wonderfully helping our son with his eczema, and we can avoid steroids and other such medications. Homeopathy helps to balance emotional and physical symptoms based on everything that is happening with you. You can take it while nursing and it has no side effects like hormone therapies do.
Dr. Josephine Polich is our homeopath and is giving a free talk on how homeopathy helps chronic illness and imbalance just like yours. Her website has the information on the seminar, which is Sat. 3/15 from 10-12 in Naperville (www.dupagehomeopathic.com).
Email me offline if you want to know more about homeopathy. I am part of a study group that meets monthly to study it so we can learn how to treat ourselves at home with it for acute (temp.) illnesses like colds, flu, ear aches, first aid, indigestion, etc.
Best wishes -- Jen s. (Naperville)

It sounds like you have your mind made up about weaning, but your child is not ready. I nursed my children for as long as two years, but I did not have to work outside the home full time. Your child is really doing well if he only needs a meal during the night. My kids gave up the bedtime nursing last. It sounds like you're not interested in a Family Bed, or you could just nurse him during the night and go back to sleep. You may have some sleepless nights ahead, but your son will adjust no matter what you decide. Good luck with your family.

I know the "nurse" hat writes on mamasource is not going to like this so I would say to speak to dr. first; I gave my kids a pacifier with a drop of honey smeared around the nipple. They say honey is full of bacteria but immunization shots are also. My kids NEVER got sick and honey is setteling to the tummy. So ask your dr. if he/she thinks it will do any harm after all, we breathe, injesting every filthy thing "out there". Good luck.

Is there a reason why you feel the need to end breastfeeding? Waking once to nurse at 2am is not very unusual at this age. My 16 month old still does this too.

If the baby will not take a cup and you don't use bottles-- how does the baby get liquids-- like water?

My older daughter did not "sleep through the night"-- whatever that really means until she was about 2 or 2 1/2.

Stop trying to push so hard to get them to grow and enjoy this stage. It really is very short.

This is coming from a working mom of 2...

Some great ideas out there--especially checking the references and with your ped.

As for the pill, I was on the NuvaRing and plan to go back on after my CNM says it's ok. MUCH less hormone, like 95% less!! May get a bit getting used to as you put the ring in, but surely this low level of hormone, released directly to "the source", can be the safest way to go back on the pill and get *YOU* back. If you're not regular and healthy, how can you be there for your son?
Good luck!

I love my daughter who will be 3 years old next month, but she still doesn't sleep all night!! Hate to tell you that, but some kids seem to just be that way. As for breaking the middle of the night feeding, when she was 13-15 months I was working very had to wean her (I was pregnant with her sister and desparately needed a break from breastfeeding between the two girls)and noticed that part of her need was skin on skin contact. She would be up several times a night and I started not feeding her everytime. Instead I would wear something with large neck openings and stand next to her crib with her face snuggled on to my bare chest and sway my hips till she relaxed and went to sleep. Sometimes my back gave out before she did, but it was a great step in reducing the number of feedings. It also helped me with the weaning process, because I still got the cuddle time too. Then one day at 15 months she never wanted it and when she wanted it on day two and three, I was able to live through her small fits, and on day four we were done. Just in time to finish my last 2 1/2 months of pregnancy! Good luck! I hope you are able to get everything straightened out!!

First, I commend you on 13 months. I wouldn't feel bad about weaning. You've done a good job!

I think you have to roll back and start again. First, if you do not want to do cry it out, you will have to rebuild the trust that shows you won't be leaving the room to let him cry. I have done this by staying in the room, letting my son stand up in his crib, and stand right next to him. I pat him on teh back and assure him that I'm not going anywhere. I don't pick him up. When he was really clingy, I ended up leaning into the crib and acting as though I was not going anywhere. Eventually, he gets tired and soothed. If he's standing, I will put him down when his legs start to wobble. He may cry again. I either pat him while he's lying down, crying, or I allow him to get himself up and do the patting on the back as he stands and leans against me, standing outside the crib. It seems to work.

I would say you need to establish that you're there for him first before you cut out the feeding. You may need to step back again for a bit and then try again. Train him on the patting while standing in teh crib method, then wean. He'll cry, but you'll have a tool to use. They say it takes a baby three days to learn a 'habit'. So, do the nursing three nights, then do the patting method. In a few nights, he may learn it. Then, try the weaning again?

This is a suggestion. I also sometimes leave the room briefly if I've had enough, or if he's just out of sorts too much to take the pat method. He knows I'm not far off, though. I come back and try again.

I hope this helps. I feel your pain about 2 a.m. We're not weaned yet, either.

return to the bottle or feed him more with rice, macaroni etc. Since he is still a baby He needs a good night sleep as you are so if he is hungry you can not expect from him to go back to sleep.

your little one definitely doesn't need a 2 am feed but he clearly wakes at that time and likes the comfort. While cry it out is hard and may take quite some time. It may be the only option. my little one originally got more worked up but eventually would go to sleep. It takes a few days of grueling listening to the crying which could go on for an hour or two. You could go in after 15 mins, pat and then leave.