Weaning from Pacifier Sleep Association

Updated on June 23, 2009
L.C. asks from San Francisco, CA
14 answers

My little 5 month old daughter has formed a strong sleep association with her pacifier. She doesn't appear to have any other way of returning to sleep states. I want to wean her and help her develop the ability to sleep unassisted. I have tried the gentle removal method but no success...does anyone have any experience with this??

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So What Happened?

I am happy to say that we were able to ween her from the pacifier for sleeping...with minimal crying. I guess never underestimate the adaptability of your child! We followed the sleep sense sleeping program from Dana Obleman with good success. She currently sleeps from 7 to 7 most days with 1-2 feedings and two good naps a day. Pacifier is still used...but only when she is awake! Thank you to all for your suggestions.

Featured Answers

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Worry about it when she's 2. If she's able to get a good night's sleep using a binky, don't mess with a good thing.

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J.W.

answers from Yuba City on

L.,

Let it go. I was very anti-pacifier until I had my son and found that it was a necessity for him. He had a high suck need and it soothed him. He weaned himself from it by the time he was 2. Just keep telling yourself that it's not forever and she wont go to away to college with it.

Also, reading books about sleep does not always help. Every child is different and not ALL babies are good sleepers. My son was 13 months before he slept through the night. He is almost 3 now and a great sleeper, it just took him longer to develop good habits and trust me...it wasn't from lack of trying on my end!!

Good luck,

J. W

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N.P.

answers from Modesto on

Hi L.!

Babies need to suck. Some much more than others, and for longer periods of time. Your precious little girl needs to suck right now, so please don't take it away.

I have 2 boys. My first boy was done with his pacifier around 1 1/2yrs old. I "hid it" and he never asked for it back ;O) My 2nd boy, LOVED, LOVED, LOVED his pacifer and couldn't be without it in his hand until he 3 1/2!!!! That was a WHOLE different story of trials and errors :O)

Anyway, my point is, each baby is different and you need to go with what your daughter is needing, especially as an infant. As a first-time mommy, this is when you begin "listening" to your child needs :O)

Happy Sleeping!

~N. :O)

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L.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi L.,
As a dental professional and mom, I wouldn't worry about the pacifier at this time. Whether you realize it or not, the pacifier is a good self-soothing tool and is an easier habit to break than a thumb. As another mom said, it also helps prevent SIDS. As to sleep issues, I too HIGHLY recommend reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It gives great info on age appropriate sleep needs and schedules. The MOST important advice I can give is make sure your little one is going to bed early at night, say 6pm, and getting plenty of daytime sleep. An overtired baby will not sleep well, which only makes things worse. My daughter is almost 4 yrs old and still goes to bed at 6pm, is asleep by 6:30pm and sleeps until at least 6am. Make sure where she sleeps is dark, and get a white noise machine if it is noisy. A consistent routine prior to naps and bedtime help cue your daughter that it is sleep time.
Sincerely,
L.

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear L., Be happy your little 5 month old has a successful way of soothing herself. She is tiny and needs this. There is no need to wean her off this-you will both get less sleep if you do. As she grows and matures, her needs and methods will change. She does not need to be taught to sleep unassisted-that will occur naturally, and she does not need the stress of depriving her of her method of sleeping in order to do it. Infancy is h*** o* sleep for us caretakers, but it will get better!! Good luck

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M.T.

answers from Bakersfield on

I recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I wouldn't stress over the pacifier weaning at this point. 5 months old is still pretty young and I would just let her keep it. If that is the only thing that helps her fall asleep otherwise unassisted from you (doesn't fall asleep while rocking, etc.) then thank your lucky stars that is all it takes. Sleep habits are formed very young and good sleep is so important. My son is strongly attached to his pacifier and now that he is 2, it stays in his bed for naps and sleep use only. I went through a phase where I thought I HAD to wean him from it at a certain point, but so many moms here shared their advice and now I feel much more comfortable with just going with the flow and letting him keep it for a bit longer. He has been a GREAT sleeper thanks to the book I mentioned helping me understand infant sleep (which was recommended by a good friend when I was at my wit's end). He continues to be a great sleeper and a great napper and I'd rather have that established than disrupt it at this point with weaning from the pacifier. You'll get lots of great advice from moms here, so soak it all up and go with what you will feel most comfortable with and what will benefit your baby the most.
All the best, M.

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L.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi L. -

I agree with what most moms are posting.

Our daughter was given a pacifier (on recommendation from her pediatrician) at the hospital when she was a newborn. When she was about 5mo's old - we cursed him to no end because it would fall out of her mouth at nights and she would cry to get it back (3x a night on average). Nightmare. So if this is what you're going through - I FEEL FOR YOU!

However, I will say this. Once she was able to direct her own hands (which wasn't too far past 5 mo's) we put about 4 or 5 pacifiers in her crib and she would literally flap her arms until she hit a pacifier and she'd stick it back in her mouth herself. We'd train her by putting her in her crib then moving her arm/hand to the paci and have her place it in her own mouth. It was a site to behold - the first time she did it herself - and it started our new lives as happier, well-slept parents. The pacifier soothed her to sleep every night. The biggest evidence I have of this is:

1) she would put it back in her mouth herself at night
2) when she weaned off (which just happened at 2.5 yrs), she's not been able to get to sleep! Our "goes to bed at 7:30pm" girl has turned into a kid who just lays there playing and talking to herself for up to 2 hours at nights :(

But as a baby and new toddler, she was the best sleeper, often going to bed at around 6:30 and waking 12 hours later.

I know the paci must seem hellish right now since she can't put it back in her mouth herself...but there is a huge light at the end of the tunnel when she CAN. Maybe you can try the '5 pacifiers' trick. It really worked for us. Good luck and better sleeping wishes for you.

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L.O.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi L.,

Research has proven that the sucking babies do while asleep actually helps to prevent SIDS, I just found this out after I had my 2nd child. Your daughter is still so young and her need for sucking is strong. I would say just let her be for now. She won't need it forever and right now it not only comforts her, it keeps her safe... an added perk. Just be glad she takes a binki and that she doesn't need you to wake up and let her suck for comfort. =)

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T.M.

answers from San Francisco on

L.,

My daughter was the same way. We just let her have it to return to sleep. We just made sure once she got her teeth in then she needed to get off so it didn't affect her growth of her teeth. When she was around 17 months we removed it. She now talks a little but understands a lot. So we cut it and told her it was broken. She tried it and said broken, oh no...what happen? Told her it was broken....she said "oh man". We just remind her at naps and bed time it was broken when she asked for it. Showed her occationally that it was still broken. She no longer askes for it :0)

T.

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

You should get the book "Babywise" I swear by it, it is awesome. My 3 month old baby sleeps from 8:30 at night til' 7:30 in the morning because of the methods used in that book. My daughter doesn't use a binky, she sucks on her hand, but my Dr. told me that the need for sucking usually ends at about 9 months, you may want to wait until then to take her off the binky....Good Luck!

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A.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi L.,
We had the same thoughts when our son was that age; but he also had reflux and we did anything that worked to get him to sleep. I really wouldn't worry about it right now. Let her have her comfy sleep pattern with the pacifier, and think about getting her 'off' it later. Our son was VERY attached to his pacifier for sleep, and just a few weeks ago weaned himself off all by himself b/c he had a cold. He couldn't breathe with the pacifier in, and so it got easier and easier to sleep without it... now he doesn't have one at all.
I always recommend the book "healthy sleep habits, healthy child" by Mark Weisbluth. Very good read and helpful at all the stages. (just skip to your age range for now... )
Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I refer all new moms to www.sleepsense.net. Dana Oblemen is an infant/child sleep specialist with tons of great info on child sleep, and how to solve sleep problems.

Saved our life with sleep issues for both my kids. We also had to wean off the pacifier at around 5-6 months, and it was the best decision to do it early. It might be a rough day or two, but totally worth it to go cold turkey. My babies actually started sleeping BETTER once they didn't have the pacifiers anymore.

Anyway, check out the website--you can get personalized advice for free, and I HIGHLY recommend buying the e-book.

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Greetings L.: Being the mother of 5 and the grandmother of several children let me say that I have yet to send any of them to college or preschool with a pacifer.
Your baby is still tiny and new so don't add this to your worry list you surely don't sound like a lazy parent that will keep it until they are 3. smile Sleep sigh--
Sleep is the key word. If it helps and works don't fix it. My granddaughter at 2 would hand it to me at the door and not want it until bedtime. Once asleep her parents take it way. Introduce her to a favorite bear( then buy 2 more that are just like it) or blanket that she will trade the pacifer for and still sleep well. You need to be glad that it is not her thumb that never gets taken away. Have fun with the great adventure of parenthood- smile- it is nothing else you will ever do. I feel that it is my greatest achievement. Nana G

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S.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I would not worry about taking it away yet she is very young. They say using a pacifier prevents SIDS. My 2yo used one when she naps and sleeps. I'm going to worry about taking it away later.

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