Weaning Advice - Saint Cloud,FL

My daughter was 10 months, so I've been there. It's going to be rough, there's no way around that. First, feed her when she needs to be fed before bed. After she goes to bed, if she's thirsty, offer he water in a sippy cup. Nothing else. No matter what. She's old enough to not need to eat. She's doing it simply because she can. Comfort her, then put her back in bed. No matter how long it takes. Don't sleep with her. Wait longer intervals before going to her each time. Substitute one breastfeeding with milk, watered down juice, or water, in a cup. Each day, substitute one more feeding until they are gone completely. It's a slow, grumpy, frustrating process but it does work. I've done it 4 times at different ages.

I would strongly NOT recommend letting your daughter cry-it-out. After all the bonding, security and comfort that you have created over the last 11 months why tear that away now? Leaving a baby to cry crushes their entire sense of security and what they believed. They are still babies, certainly at only 6 mo and still at only 11 months old.... Still functioning on their natural instinct to cry out to Mommy when they have a need. Unfortunately, many parents, grandparents and well-meaning advisors don't think that babies have emotional or comfort measure NEEDS, and since they see these needs as only 'wants', they will recommend or justify ignoring them and not providing for these needs when it isn't convenient- which is generally at night when parents prefer to turn their babies to 'OFF' and get their full desired nights sleep. Babies have many more needs to nursing or wanting another human close to them at night other than nutrition, so even though babies or toddlers are eating solids, it dies not take away their other needs at night for emotional comfort, security, closeness, etc. Kids mature and develop at their own rates in these areas and although many parents of convenience will force thier own schedules on their babies, it doesn't change that childs need for comfort and security, they just won't get it because it's not convenient at 2 am.

Cosleeping is certainly NOT a bad habit at all!!!! The US is one of only a few places that encourages mothers to leave their babies alone all night seperate from them. To many parents in other countries, we are weird! Babies are meant to be with parents, you are fine! If you really want to start moving her, do it gradually, like putting a crib next to your bed with the side rail down so she is starting to experience her own space but is close enough to still tend to. Maybe start with brief alone time intervals after she has already doses off next to you by transferring her then, once in a deep sleep but allowing her back next to you if she wakes for you. I recommend looking at DR. Sears book called Night time Parenting or Jay Gordons book called Good Nights.... Both talk about the excellent benefits of cosleeping but also give advise, pointers and how-to info on changing gently to seperate sleeping arrangements, especially for nursing moms!

I also suspect that your daughter is playing catch-up on both the comfort and closeness of special Mommy time and also the breastmilk ( which is still so very very beneficial at her age!) once you get home from work. Since you two are seperated for so many hours each day/week she has no other chance to reconnect and pull you back in to refuel her comfort needs. As much work as it is, as a mom it must be so special to know that it is closeness with you, bonding, together time and nursing that she looks for to reconnect and relax/feel secure! What a feeling :-) As tiring as it is, I personally would continue to provide her with what she needs at night since it is her only chance with you most weekdays. If you were home all day everyday with her, then I'd agree to start limiting the night requests a little, but that's just not the case for you guys. Just remember that she will only be little once and this stage will all be behind you soon enough, without the battles or forced changes before she's natually ready. Best wishes to both of you!

Hi J.,

When DD was 11 months, we had the same nonstop nursing when she was teething especially. But by 16-18 months she was sleeping through the night (in bed with us) without any nursing. We just had to wait til she was ready.

We did prompt with tiny, tiny baby steps, like rocking for a few nights instead of nursing, but they were small and short-lived. If she was ready we could avoid nursing at that moment; if not I let her nurse til she slept.

I second the advice to continue to breastfeed and co-sleep if you can. And to SLEEP while the babe nurses. We did that from very early on, and it saved my health and sanity.

Best of luck!

As for the weaning, have you tried breastmilk in the cup? We didn't have any weaning issues (I think both my son and I were pretty much done). I weaned him at about the same age.
As for the sleeping, if it doesn't bother you guys too much, I say try the Cry it Out method. I know a bunch of people are against it, but we did it when our son was like 6-7mo old and didn't really NEED the nighttime feed. He was just used to waking up and me coming in and feeding him. He would cry for the most like 10-20min off and on, but that only lasted a few nights, maybe a week, I can't remember. On occasion I still hear him wake up and cry/whine a little, but he now knows how to put his music on and turns that on, sucks his thumb, and goes back to sleep. BTW, he's 2 1/2 now and still in his crib. Obviously if I think something is truely wrong, I go check on him, but otherwise I don't go in there.
Good Luck!

Hey J.,
First congrats on your continued nursing, keep it up, it's the best thing for your little girl.
Now co sleeping is WONDERFUL for your daughter. Once you get used to it, you'll be able to sleep through the nursing. She will find your breast and go to town while you sleep. It's really a wonderful set up. Like someone else said, this is the only country that has that idiotic cry it out thing and the frowning upon co sleeping. Showing your child that you are there creates independent, confident children, many studies can be found showing this.

About your 'vitamin d milk' it's really cow's breast milk and since your daughter is not a calf she is smart to not want to drink it. What about water for liquid? Milk from a cow, goat, or any other mammal besides human milk is not only unhealthy but not needed for human consumption. It leads to a multitude of problems: www.notmilk.com

Enjoy this fiesty redhead, she's probably beautiful, charming and what brings you the most pleasure in life. Before you know it, she'll be going off to college and you'll think of me and wonder where the time went. ;)

Peace!

I have a 9 month old that I am thinking of weaning because his teeth hurt me too much...I nurse him to sleep sometimes in my bed. The nights that I am too lazy to put him in his crib are the nights I suffer, like you, with him wanting to be nursing all night long. I stay sooo tired when this happens. Lately I have been staying up late with him and nursing him in the chair in my living room and when he is asleep laying him in his crib. Amazingly those are the nights he sleeps all the way through and I have to go wake him up because I am soo full of milk and that hurts!

I have a 25 month old redhead that still wont give up the boob. Dealing with about 3 days worth of crying got him in his crib. He would nurse all night if I let him, so I know how you feel. If you find something other than cold turkey that works, please let me know!

J.,
What does your baby's Doctor say?
I can only share my experiences,it sounds like she is craving two things.First, She wants and craves mommy & me time together because of your exhausing work schedule,this is the only direct connect time together.Second,ask your Doctor is there a vitamin or supplement she is craving in the breast milk or better yet ask a Ped. Nutrionalist Board Certified.I would ask your Doctor if there is an email for this, so you are not taking time out of your 40hr. limited time contraints schedule.If your daughter is rejecting milk but accepting food there is something inbetween she is craving perhaps something in the breast milk and the time she is directly with you.If this can be satisfied you can still have your cuddletime together and get some sleep.

If you want to switch her to milk in a cup and she won't take it, you can try expressed breast milk in a cup if you can pump enough. If she will take that, start mixing it with whole milk. Increase the amount of whole milk every couple of days until it is all whole milk. My son would only drink milk from those Horizon milk boxes that are like juice boxes for a long time. You can get them at Costco I think, but I order them from Amazon. If she will drink from a straw, maybe that will be "fun" enough. Here are some tips from kellymom on night weaning. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html
I found it easiest to do night weaning first at about a year too, I was already back at work, so then he only nursed a few times a day--in the morning, when I got home, and then before bed. He kept all those for a long time after he was weaned at night, but I enjoyed nursing him then because he never stopped moving otherwise!

I just wanted to absolutely second everything that Heather B said. I started to write out the same sentiments, but saw that she beat me to it, so I won't duplicate. :-) I also worked and coslept adn breastfed. Personally, I found it imperative to have that bonding and closeness time with my daughter at night since I was not with her during the day. I will admit that it was tough at times, but only in phases like teething. So the good news is, you are doing a great thing for your daughter and giving her a gift that will last a lifetime, it also means that it will pass and soon she will be sleeping more and you will get used the cosleeping and sleeping more yourself. Please don't let her cry it out or go cold turkey. If you really want to wean and have her separate from you at night, do it gently. Check out the book: The no Cry Sleep Solution, or some other Attachment Parenting Style book. It will all work out, just keep trusting your gut, you are doing a great job.

The more important thing to look at is, "why is my child not self regulating?" Sleeping with you all night and having to have full body contact and nursing the entire night signifies much more then a weaning issue.

VERY well said Heather B!!!

My 28 month son was doing the marathon nursing at night. I ended up weaning him just from the night time nursing. (We weaned from most daytime nursing about 6 months ago.) I started simply explaining that "nigh-nigh" is for going to sleep at bedtime, but not for during the night. He, of course, is a bit older than your little one and your baby likely wouldn't understand the reasoning stuff yet. Fortunately for us, my son now only nurses at bedtime. He still gets all the good nutrients and antibodies of breastmilk though!

I would encourage you to just co-sleep and stop worrying about it. If your baby can find the breast on his own, he can nurse when the need arises without really disturbing you too much. I learned to sleep through most of the night time nursing.

Oh...and my son wouldn't drink milk until just a couple months ago. Babies don't need cows milk anyway. They can get their calcium from cheese, yogurt and green veggies. My son will drink milk now if I add a little strawberry syrup and warm it up. (The syrup comes in low sugar if you are concerned about that...I add such a small amount that it doesn't seem to matter if I use the low sugar or regular though.) You can try goat's milk which is available at regular grocery stores like Publix. But again, animal milk is really only a good thing if your child enjoys it...it is not a necessity in life. My generation was convinced that we all needed milk and it's only been in recent years that people have started remembering that animal milk is really best suited for baby animals. :)

Hi J.,

How about putting a tablespoon of honey in the milk. It will be more tasty and healthy as honey has alot of vitamins and minerals.

It worked for me!!!!

D. P.

Hi J.,
For my daughter and I, I found that quitting cold turkey works the best. For the pacifier and the bottle so far at least. The first two days were the worst, but definitely worth the tears. My daughter doesn't drink milk and never has. She's strictly juice or water. The doctor doesn't worry about it because she is eating table food, lots of yogurt and cheese. Lots of babies/toddlers don't drink milk and it isn't a concern.
Whatever you decide, trust your instincts and your fiesty little redhead will thank you for following your heart.