When to Night Wean

Updated on March 31, 2008
L.R. asks from Berkeley, CA
21 answers

We co-sleep and night-time nurse, and I enjoy the closeness that that brings. But my son, who has a lot of teeth and seems to be constantly teething, is waking quite often. He is getting 2 more molars now. I am pretty tired, but I am not sure that I am ready to wean him from night nursing completely. Any suggestions on some kind of slow transition that might help us get more sleep?

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J.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I breastfed my oldest daughter until she was 16 months old. My husband made me stop. I told him I stopped two months earlier, but did it secretly still. I can honestly tell you-the minute I stopped breast feeding her she slept through the night and I haven't had a problem since.

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H.H.

answers from San Francisco on

I loved the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution. She promotes co-sleeping and gives lots of great advice on making the transition. I highly recommend it! Good Luck!

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D.W.

answers from Yuba City on

Hi L.
I think this is really up to you and your son. I nursed my daughter til she was 15 months and my son til he was 16 months. I know moms who nursed much longer.
I don't think there is any set limit to when you "have" to wean the night-nursing. If it's an emotional bonding time for you and you son and it's important to you than do it when you are ready.

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P.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

just start weaning him w/ sippy or bottle like you did during the day, n start trying to get him to take it instad of yours. eventualy he'll take to it more n hopefully be to where he wants the sippy more..your friend P...that;s what i did. n it worked

B.H.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter is 9 months old, and I stopped her middle of the night feedings around 8 months. I had planned on 7 months, but she came down with ear infections and wasn't eating much so I felt she needed it. I bottle fed so it might be a little different for you. I used to do a dream feed of 8 oz. at 10:30 at night. So to end it, I did an ounce less a half hour earlier for 3 nights, and then kept repeating that until she wasn't eating anymore at night. I give her a bottle before bed at 7:30 and she goes through the night til 7:30 in the morning. Yes, I'm very lucky that she sleeps that long. I read that babies over 7 months should be able to go 10 hours without a feeding during the night. Not to say that all babies are the same and that it will work for you, but it's worth a shot. I used a book called the Baby whisperer to help with our sleep habits. Goodluck.

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R.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,

I'm going through a similar thing right now. Daughter will be 14 months next week. This past week I started eliminating the 2:30-3am feed. I'm just doing one session at a time and it's going quite well. What I realized in fact is that whenever she'd cry out in the night I'd just automatically give her the breast and fall right back to sleep. What I'm seeing now is that she didn't necessarily want to eat, she just wanted to get back to sleep. So I started by telling her what we were doing, or in this case, not doing--feeding in the middle of the night.

when she woke up the first night and cried out I kept my hand on her (if she wanted it there), hummed a bit and she fell asleep after about 4 minutes of tears. the next night she sat up in bed, cried for a few minutes again and I laid her back down, she went right to sleep. Mind you she was not even rooting for the breast. I was shocked! Not one night has she rooted for the breast. The third night she was off the bed when I woke to her cry (a first--our bed's on the floor). and I scooped her back into bed and she was out immediately. the 4th night we were up for nearly two hours with some crying interspersed with dozing, but not fullout horrible crying, more just complaining and her trying to get herself back to sleep. no rooting then either and after so long i was considering giving in but am so glad I held out. Last night I barely remember what happened, a cry out, my reaching to her and both of us back to sleep.

I still nurse her back to sleep around 5 or 6"30am or whenever she first wakes up. next I plan to eliminate one of the two wake ups that happen before I actually climb into bed with her. Right now if she's down at 8 she wakes 1/2 hr. later, nurses more, sleeps another 45minutes or so and then wakes again when I get into bed.

But I can't tell you what a big difference eliminating that mid of the night session has made. And I thought it was going to be so much harder than it was. key is to tell her each night what's going to happen. i.e we're not going to nurse in the night, we're going to sleep right through and if we wake up we'll snuggle and go right back to sleep...or whatever.

hope this helps.
R.

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C.T.

answers from San Francisco on

From my understanding, babies have 90 minutes sleep cycles and wake then put themselves back to sleep - we sleep right thru our adult cycle now. So while co-sleeping may be comforting for a while, eventually it's best to have them in their own crib (mainly for your sake) I know I'm a better mommy when I get a full night sleep. For a slow transition - try napping him in his own crib first. Then... do it at night when you're/he's sleeping well in his crib - if he's used to your warm to fall asleep - sing him a song in your warm arms before putting him in the crib so he tires in your arms - then put a blankie on him. At night, camp out in his room for a night or to - on the floor or whatever. Then when you're comfortable - it's back to bed & hopefully a full night sleep! :)

Our 'trick' to help him sleep thru the night now is dinner food is at 6:30, he plays for 1/2hr and then we get ready for bed (PJs, diaper change, book) and then a full 8oz bottle of whole milk and then he's out like a light from 7:30p to 7am.

For minor teeting pain, we give our son Hyland's Homeopathic Teething Tablets but when it's beyond just a little discomfort - we give him motrin and that always lets him sleep.

I have a 13 month boy, sleeps thru the night since 8 weeks/12lbs. Don't shoot me... he wakes when he's sick or teething...

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T.K.

answers from Chico on

Every child is different so I can only speak from my experience with my little one.....
I never stopped nursing during teething as the breastmilk has a pain reliever and comfort stuff that helps them. As for night time nursing, once I put my little one on, I just went back to sleep and he stopped when he was ready. Sometimes he would keep me up, but only for 5-10 minutes. Not sure if you are getting out of bed to nurse, but I never bothered. I had a special pillow that I used to prop him in the proper direction.
My Dr suggested that giving an pain reliever like advil or tylenol before bed would help some. I didn't really see a difference personally, but you could give it a shot. I would talk to your Dr about how much to give if you haven't already.

My little one only recently started sleeping mostly through the night (he's just onve 2 yo) and only comes to bed part way through the night sometimes. His Dad had to put him to bed in his own bed for a few weeks which took an hour or more each time, but then he would come in with us after sleeping for 4-5 hours and sleep the rest of the night. After months of having a routine and changing the routine as needed, he is finally going down mostly on his own with a little cuddling in about 1/2 hour.

I would do one step at a time...get through the teething 1st and then get him to sleep in his own bed. Dealing with two things at once might make both processes even more difficult.

I thought I was ready to stop co-sleeping, but now that it is mostly over, I miss it.

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M.W.

answers from Redding on

Are you planning on weaning him off completely? I would start during the day first then move into the night. Its a security thing for him at night. I fed my daughter at about 7pm every night to help her sleep. He is waking up hungry or he is waking up because he is used to it. If that doesn't help and you are really desperate try a small amount of Tylenol. Just enough to help him go to sleep. I sounds bad but if your not sure then give less then the required amount. If you do that for about two or three nights. Get him on a schedule and hopefully it works for you. But go with your instincts and do some research. Grandmas are the best source. good luck.

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E.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello L.,
This is going to be a tough transition, but it won't last forever! I think the teething is causing him to sleep restlessly, but perhaps giving him a different comforting method to cope with this would help. Nursing him off and on through the night can be harmful to his little teeth, especially the newly erupting ones that are pushing their way through his gums. Breast milk has sugar in it and after he nurses, the sugars from the milk lay all over his teeth and mingle with the bacteria and produce acid, which causes cavities. If he is also eating finger foods and sticky snacks during the day, the combination of that with the sugary breast milk at night could be harming those baby teeth. Does he like a pacifier? (of course, those are hard to wean them off of too) But maybe soothing him with that or even a bottle of warm clean water, not milk. I don't think you should go cold turkey with getting him out of your bed. I do think you should gradually wean him from night-time breast feedings though. Ask your dentist about fluoride drops. Hopefully you will find it's easier to wean him from nightly nursing when you talk to your dental health provider and they can explain how it could be destructive to his teeth.
Good luck and happy cuddling with your baby boy!!

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M.T.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi L.,
I am a Mother of 2. I brestfeed my son until 12 months (now 3 years) and am currently breastfeeding my daughter who is 15 months. With both kids we did co-sleeping. I was so afraid to move them to there own cribs because they would nurse all night long. But my first we moved to his crib at 6 months and he did great, slept through the night. With my Daughter we did not move her until she was 10 months and I thought she would have more trouble. But she slept through the night and never woke up for night feedings. The first three nights are tuff but well worth it. We did the cry it out tech. for sleeping. I found it worked the best for my kids. Although I needed a little help from my Mom to resist going into there room. But I knew they were fine and never cried for to long. I hope this helps you.
By 6 months babys should be able to sleep through the night and don't need to eat in the middle of the night. They should be getting enough to eat during the day.

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M.T.

answers from Bakersfield on

Co-sleeping never worked for me, so I'm glad it is working for you. I tried it and none of us ever could sleep well, but then my son didn't sleep well the first six months anyway. There is a lot of material out there about infant sleep habits and a book I highly recommend is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It helped me learn a lot and I am happy to say we all regularly get a good night's sleep now. I don't know if it's harder to wean night feedings while co-sleeping or not, but I do know my son pretty much chose when to cut out a nursing session. He stopped waking up for middle of the night feedings and has his last feeding at 6:30pm. He sleeps through the night and it has made the biggest difference for both of us. I am having a harder time accepting the fact that he doesn't want to nurse at 9:30am or 3:30pm anymore. It took me a while to realize he was more than ready to stop those nursing times, but I still wanted the closeness. Again, the book helped me a lot. It was not easy at first by any means, but the result of all of us getting a solid night's sleep now is priceless. Keeping in mind we are all different and so are our babies, I hope you find some way that works well for both of you. All the best to you.

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E.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I disagree with the mom who said babies *should* be sleeping through the night. We are all different and have different nocturnal rhythms, so what is right for one person may not be right for another.
My guess is that he is waking because he is teething, which is completely independent of the night nursing. Since you co-sleep and night nurse, you probably aren't the type of mom who would put him in another room and let him cry it out when he wakes with teething pain, so the fact that you are night nursing seems to have very little to do with his waking. If I am reading your post correctly. :)
It seems that he needs to get through with teething to get back into a good sleep pattern, and not be weaned from night nursing to get into a good sleep pattern.
If you don't want to wean him, and if he doesn't want to be weaned, then why go through that process? Have you tried anything to help him with his teething pain?
And just keep telling yourself - the number of teeth he is growing is finite - this too shall pass!
:)

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H.D.

answers from Redding on

Your baby can have whole milk now.
It will fill him up and he'll sleep longer. I did it with my daughter at the same age. At first she didn't like the taste of the milk, so i put a little ovaltine in the bottle. A little less every time till it was straight milk. Good
Luck

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T.C.

answers from Sacramento on

hello,

I still nurse my son who is 15 months, he has teeth and nurses about every 4 hours, I do give hom HYLANDS teething tablets and they calm him down and let home sleep better, I think he is to young to wein my self.

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K.E.

answers from San Francisco on

I breast fed my kids and couldn't wait to STOP! it may sound bad BUT IT IS THE TRUTH!
When I transitioned my children were like 10-11 month old already sleeping thru the night and not being nursed at night nor bottle thru the night.Because they were almost at 1 year old I started to pump and slowly incorporate 1/2 breast milk with 1/2 normal full cows milk in there bottles. That's why by the time it was full 100% cows milk they new no diffrence nor cared about the change.I know that feeding your baby breast milk after 12 months of age is not necessary breast milk loses all its nutrition after your baby has turned 12 months old,but if u don't want to Stop then you can't stop feeding him cause the less you feed the less milk you will produce so lessoning it is good if you want to start transitioning but the less you feed the less milk you get and soon you might not make enough to breast feed him at all.
I hope i helped you and ....RIGHT ON FOR BREAST FEEDING"!!!!!!!

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A.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Try putting your son in his own bed and get up with him only if he needs it. At 14 months he should be sleeping through the night and so should you. It sounds as if you are nursing him for you and not for him. He certainly doesn't need to eat at night anymore.

I am a mom of 4 children ages 14, 10, 7 and 4. Good luck.

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K.H.

answers from San Francisco on

we took off the side of the crib for my younger kid and his bed was right up against ours.
so when he got hungry he could roll right to me and when he was sleepy or full he'd roll away back into his crib
he ended up weaning himself anyways. and i could easily go back to sleep after feeding i loved being able to lay down next to him while he nursed

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J.W.

answers from Salinas on

Hi L.- we are cosleepers and all the time nursers too until recently. My son is 21 mos. and at Thanksgiving my hubbie started putting him to bed at night. We would do our regular tub and brush routine and then I would nurse him and if he didnt fall asleep daddy would come in to put him down- lay with him til he fell asleep. So we did that up until a week ago and we started talking with him about not nursing when the sun goes down- only when the sun is up. So now after tub, I leave and Jon gives him Almond milk or rice milk from a sippy- and he lays with him. He was only waking up 2-3 times a night and then transitioned to 1-2. First few nights when he woke I would play possum and his dad would console him, offer him rice milk- he did ok. crys for a few minutes and takes his pacifyer?...Its night 8 and hes only had a few 15 minute crys and we just say Mr Sun is down- no mama milk(or whatever you call it) until morning...mommas sleepy, daddys sleepy, Sage is sleepy. Seems to be working well. He is nursing more and eating more during the day. Try 1800HOMEOPATHY for teething tabs and ther other remedies- great company. Be consistent with the tabs when hes teething. 2 Every 2 hours or 2 every 15 minutes if in acute pain until ok. Its safe, and effective.
GOOD LUCK!!

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M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I nursed at night until my children were 2, but only before bedtime. He should sleep through the night. If you choose to continue co-sleeping (mine were usually in their own bed by 2), put him next to dad after you nurse before putting him to sleep so he doesn't smell your milk. He really doesn't need the middle of the night feedings anymore. I nursed morning and night from age 1 to 2 - with the bedtime nursing as the last one to go, then dad gave them a cup of whole milk before bed instead of Momma.

Give him Hyland's Homeopathic Teething Tablets for the teething. Even if he's not cranky, with the molars coming in he may want to nurse more just for the comfort from teething. Give him the tablets during the day and right before you nurse him at night. My children always slept really good with those tablets (but there isn't any sleeping aid or anything funky in them). The pain relief allows them to sleep.

- Momma to an 18yr girl, 11yr boy, 6yr boy, and a baby due October 1st (with a husband who became the night-time blockade for night-time weaning (ha ha))

Good luck!

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C.L.

answers from Fresno on

Babies should be able to sleep through the night once they are about 15 pounds or so. My daughter had her last bottle around 6:00 PM and then had the next bottle around 6AM. My daughter is 13 months old and just has three regular meals a day and no night bottle.

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