First off, I have 2 wonderful children...a beautiful 2 year daughter and a 4.5 month little boy. They are both amazing!! We are having issues with our son... he doesn't sleep!!
We are exclusively breastfeeding and he sleeps in our room at night. He is currently in the pack/play next to our bed, since once he finally starts sleeping through the night, he will be sharing a room with his sister (obvioulsy- we don't want to put him in there until he is sleeping better).
He wakes anywhere from 4-6 times a night. I've been Bfeeding in bed and we end up falling asleep togehter and then I'll wake and put him back in his bed.
The past few nights, he has been rolling and waking himself up and he can't go back to sleep until I nurse him to sleep. Part of the time, he is just pacifying on me.. and since he is starting to teeth, it's killing me!
Oh- and I should mention that he refuses the bottle and pacifiers.
I'm thinking we should start "sleep training", but not sure how to start. Our daughter slept through the night at 8 weeks and we didn't have to do anything (yes- we were very lucky). My husband thinks we need to let him "cry it out" in the night and that will train him to sleep. Not sure how I feel about that. I've attempted the "Baby Whisper" technique; pick up/ put down, etc... but after 8 or 9 times I was so exhausted, I just brought him back in bed with us. I'm not totally against co-sleeping, I just don't want him to be dependent on it and I don't want a 2+ year old child in bed every night.
Ugh- okay, so enough rambling... I know this is long- but if anyone has anyone suggestions...please let me know. I'm exhausted and we are all at our wits end!
Oh- and we have tried "gas drops"- didn't work for long; he's starting to get on a better schedule- bath/book/nurse and down by 7:15pm- then up around 12, 2, 4, 5:30, 6:30... UGH!!! Thanks to everyone in advance!
Go get "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. You can read it by tonight and more than likely, it will help! He has a lot of good techniques for getting babies to sleep through the night (mostly revolving around sleep/eat/wake scheduling) AND is very supportive of breastfeeding as long as possible. It saved me!!
Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weisbluth. It totally changed our families lives in a matter of a few days AND improved soo much how rested and happy my child was. We were all happier in the family within a week. It's a huge favorite in the very large moms group I am in.
Hi H.,
First off...baby's sleep patterns will change. I have a 5 1/2 month old and every month it seems that she is sleeping differently. She sleeps in bed with us so I am all too aware of her changing patterns. First - I read EVERY book out there on sleep and the one that helped me the most was The Sleep Book by Dr. William Sears. You can pick the chapters that apply to you which is nice because who has time to read a whole book these days??? Dr. Sears is practical and really helps you understand why babies sleep the way that they do. He also helps you understand their needs. Secondly, my daughter started teething around the same age as your son and let me tell you - that is NOT a time to try to do any sort of sleep "training" if you indeed decide to go that route. In fact, she is going through a second bout of teething pain and my poor nipples are about ready to fall off. But you know what - I don't care because I know that she needs me. Just remember that your baby will always tells you what he needs from you. This stage might not last that much longer or it could last another month or so. Hang in there...it will pass and your baby will be happier having learned that he can trust you to comfort him when he needs it the most. And again - I recommend The Sleep Book a million times over. It really did help me a lot!
There are some good thoughts and resources at www.parentingpearlsofwisdom.blogspot.com. The first post discusses letting babies cry it out.
Just wondering is it the rolling around that's waking him up? It might be hard because its hot.... But when my son started rolling around and waking himself up & was unable to put himself back to sleep I put him in a sleep sack.. It worked to the point where I was only waking up 2-3 times a night vs the 5-6. It wasn't perfect, but for some reason containing those lil legs helped. Even to this day at 20 months he doesn't sleep well unless his sacks on.
Also I should note my son slept right by our bed too (also exclusively bf), and it was right about this point where I found he slept better when I moved him to the other side of the room. I think it helped in that he didn't "smell" me as much and I didn't hear him rolling around as easy either.
Only draw back was I actually had to get out of bed to soothe him when he did wake up. I just put the rocker right by the crib and either nursed or rocked him back to sleep. This also helped me from falling asleep w/ him in bed. Hard the first couple of weeks but I did notice improvemnt. This also began our transition to his own room. Which wasn't fully accomplished until about 11mths old.
I'm sorry I don't have any other suggestions...I was blessed to have a son who loves his binkies and it was at this point where they really came in handy. I've known people who swear by the crying it out method. It didn't work for us so I beared with it & miraculously at 12 mth to the day he started sleepin through the night on his own in his own room. So there is hope...Hopefully some other mom's will have better advice..
Good Luck
Maybe you could try giving him a little tickle to wake him up to nurse more until his tummy is full for the 12 o'clock feeding? Also, make sure he gets proerly burped if you think it's a gas thing... you can try burping him across your lap. My boy ate a lot more often than my daughter (2nd baby) did, so it may just be a difference in their genders and growth patterns. 4.5 mos is about the time my son STARTED sleeping longer at night (4 hours between feedings instead of 2 1/2), but going ALL night (7:30 ish until 5:30 am) wasn't until he was closer to 6 mos old. One more thing I might suggest: see if he'll sooth himself back to sleep and don't nurse him right away (especially at the 2 am wake up). He may just be wiggly and not in need of comfort... and 10 minutes fells like an eternity, but it may be how long he needs to settle back in. Of course, you know his cries if it sounds TOO bad, then count to 5 and go to him. I htink he's to young for a full-on Cry It Out method, or even to go more than 10-15 minutes of crying...
Hi H.
Your babys sleep sounds a lot like my daughters did. She would wake up to nurse just a little and then fall back to sleep. Totally exausting. we have cosleept from the get go, I love the bond and I feel that we are ment to sleep close to our babies. But being so exhausted we tried everything.
I started reading more about night waking and possible causes. It turned out our daughter had acid reflux. She didnt spit up at all. Her symptons were night waking and only falling back to sleep nursing, and making this funney throaty noise during the day( we thought they were baby babbles).
We tried a few acid reflux meds and found that previcid worked wonders. She started only waking up 1-2 times a night. totally managabe at this age.
Before you have your baby cry it out please make sure there is no medical causes.
PS. We had spoke to her Doc. several times about the sleeping problem and they insisted it was behavioral until i did my own research and asked if the night waking could be caused by acid reflux.
good luck
Have you read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp? It is a really wonderful book. It might give you a few ideas.
In addition, I would strongly recommend against nursing to sleep. Let him nurse until almost asleep so that he learns how to self-soothe. Let him nurse until he is full. You will need to cut down on the comfort nursing to wean him using you as a pacifer. Cut the comfort nursing time down by one minute each week.
Good Luck,
K.
