Was My OB Right on Saying This???

Even if she was right (or not) it wasn't the way. Your delivery due is very important, and if is true that you would want to have a profecional you also NEED a caring understand person. With my DD #2 I decide to VBAC and I spend most of my pregnancy with a doctor that was so cold and rude. One day he ask me how much my first daughter weight and I told him I didn't remeber and he told me " Why you give her away? He often will tell me I would die (no kidding) if I try to VBAC!!
It was when I decide to change doctors and I am sooo glad I did. My new doctor was so caring, calm and he even make me laught between contractions!
I want to think that your doctor maybe just had a bad day, so if she has been good normally I sugest that you talk to her. This is not time to be shy, tell her you think she is a good doctor but her actitud make you feel uncomfortable.
If she is not the one you are still early and I am sure you will find a new doctor, I found my second one at 30 weeks!!

I highly reccomend Labor of Love, Midwives (real ones - not like OBGYN Associates that just play one on TV - lol) they have several offices - THEY ARE MOST FABULOUS!!!!
www.laborluv.com Check them out - the last thing you need is someone being bitchy to you when your pregnant and already way stressed! I think she was out of line.

GOOD LUCK!

I understand her point on not putting off your health and the health of the baby but she should be more considerate of how you took care of the situation. You still came back and it wasn't like you waited months at a time. You were just waiting a little while, not long, until things were in place and being responsible.

I would go with your gut feeling. If you feel you are not getting a warm welcoming feeling from her, and stay with her just remember you have a lot more appointments with her. Plus, if she is this way now how will she be when you are in the delivery room? If you change you need to do it soon as a lot of doctors won't take you after a certain time in your pregnancy.

Hi K.,

Absolutely 100% I would say switch to midwives. I have volunteered as a doula and had 2 midwife births myself and i can tell you that the pregnancy and birth experience with a midwife is light years ahead of the standard medical model you get with the obs.

I'm sure there are nice obs out there (I even met one once), but unfortunately what you are describing is not uncommon-- a lack of respect for the pregnant mom, a my-way-or-the-highway approach.

Truth is, pregnancy is generally a healthy time in a woman's life and unless you are high risk and teetering on the brink of disaster, she had no right to chastise you. (BTW $800 is a TOTAL racket for the 2-5 mins they spend with you to listen to the heartbeat and also considering that if there was something wrong at 18 weeks or less there is really nothing they can do to help the baby. Can you tell I'm miffed?)

Anyway, here are a couple of articles on midwives. I highly, highly recommend them. My experiences with my 2 pregnancies were so wonderful with midwives. I felt heard, respected, cared about, and was treated like a pregnant woman and not a ticking time bomb of complications waiting to happen.

Here are the articles:
http://birthing-options.suite101.com/article.cfm/midwives...

http://birthing-options.suite101.com/article.cfm/midwives...

Of course, with midwives there are personalities involved, too, and some can be more "medical" or less "medical" than others, so you can always shop around and pick someone you feel completely ocmfortable with. The second article about talks about credentials-- licensed midwives are highly skilled and trained. Also, much cheaper than obs.

Good luck and take it from me-- you don't need that kind of negative energy when you are pregnant. Fire your ob ASAP!

Find someone new!!!!!!

I understand she was upset with you for missing your appointment, however...with the economy today & the fees a doctor charges, what does she expect. It's not like this is your first baby, you've had 3, you know what to do and what not to do. For her to only listen to the heartbeat is crazy. Does she expect you to pay $800.00 for a two minute appointment? Sounds like she may be upset because she didn't get paid for the appointment you missed. If she was that concerned, she should have spent more time with you. From what you described, she sounds cold and greedy. I would look into finding a new midwife, one who is more interested in your and your unborn child's health than lining their pocket.

I would so switch. How dare she act so inappropriate and crass!! I had a male OBGYN treat me very rudely with my third pregnancy and I had to switch, I couldn't take his ignorance and insults. You are going through enough already and should find someone who has your interests - both financially and health - in mind. Good Luck!!

As a healthcare provider, I can understand being worried that a patient missed because it may show noncompliance with the treatment. HOWEVER, it did not sound like she was concerned it sounded as if she was angry. This is definitely NOT ok and I would find a new OB or midwife. It is your 4th child for goodness sake. I believe that she should have enough faith in you as a patient that she would trust you would do the right thing if there were any problems.

Who was she? My original OB here was the same way and I switched to the other female in the practice and couldn't have been more pleased with the decision. Good luck and God bless.

prenatal care is imperative, if for any reason you do not have health care - do not put your life and your childs at risk. Every state has programs for free prenatal care. In addition, you should not be paying for prenatal care per visit. Most OB/Gyns and Midwives charge for the entire prenatal/delivery/postnatal care as a one price package that is all enclusive of their care, excluding of course unexpected complications.

She should have recommended a free clinic so you continued getting care. But, yes! You should switch. You need someone 100% supportive of you when you are pregnant. The last thing you need is someone being rude. Shame on her. The road is littered with ob/gyn's I've fired over the years for being downright nasty. These are the most delicate health issues you ever encounter. If they can't be nice and supportive, they can lose your business. You are a human being, not a profit margin. You deserve better. She should be a trusted advisor and confidant. I encourage you to find one who is.

yes, she was wrong. I love my OB that delivered my two kids and he would have NEVER said anything like that to me. In fact, he would have probably told me (with my second pregnancy) that I would know if something was wrong and skipping a couple wouldn't be a big deal. Your is defniately miffed about missing the payment and that means you need to find someone else. i dissagree with the poster who thinks most doctors are like this. I have a lot of friends with kids and I have never heard anything but good things. If you aren't using insurance, you can go anywhere you want!

get a new one... you should feel comfortable w/ your OB

It doesn't seem right for her to pass judgement on you for making the best decision you could at the time. There was no reason for her to be rude to you. As far as what was done during your visit, all that normally happens at an OB Checkup is listening to the heart beat, taking blood pressure and weighing you. Unless your pregnancy has complications, it sounds like she did her job. She just had a crappy attitude while she did it. Maybe you could sit down and talk with her about your feelings regarding the visit and straighten things out. She may have just been having a bad day. If that isn't the case, I would explore other options.

If I have learned anything over the years, is that Doctors/OB's or Mid-wives are not always right. If you are happy with her care, stay. If she upsets you, you don't have to put up with it, especially since you don't have medical insurance. If you have a background of problems in pregnancy, she may have a point, but not having the money is a real issue. Don't let a doctor or anyone bully you into care. I personally would find someone to work with me instead of bullying me. Good Luck, and enjoy your pregnancy.