Very Low Sex Drive at 22 Years old...Help!

Exaustion can ruin sex drive.

If that is not the problem, you should look into low testosterone levels,
adrenal gland issues, or low thyroid. Most people can get int he mood with stimulation, so it just might be low hormones- although, doing it too often can cause that too I think. I think Zinc can raise testosterone- go online and google what raises sex hormones.

3-4 times a week? wow!!! !!!!!

You are one busy lady with two really little ones!!! :-)
I have noticed that it takes a good year or so for my body to reset back to the "normal" drive after having a munchkin... ( I have 4)...

One thing that is pretty simple to do is to think about it all day.... Arrange your night so you have a bit of down time from the kids... No woman can feel sexy 3 seconds after changing a diaper or cleaning up from the kids...

A glass of wine, soft lighting, mood music... (no tv blaring)... Treat YOURSELF like you would want hubby to treat you... Instead of allowing him to wham bam thank you maam... Volunteer to give him a massage... ask him to rub your back/ feet... Make a point of slowing him down a bit so you can shift gears...

ALSO talk to him!!! A lot of guys just don't understand that it after having a kid and caring for them, you NEED the time to shift out of mommy mode into sexy vixon mode... You still want him... just more foreplay. :-)

If you ask me, I really think that sex starts in the head way before the actual moment you have it physically. It's not like we have a switch. Personally I prefer when it happens and it's not "planned".
Example of a NO-NO:
Hubby and I say goodbye in hurry when he leaves for work, long day ahead of us. After a long and tiring day with babies and house, hubby comes home from work, hugs me from behind while I am folding laundry, I know what's supposed to happen but my mind isn't there obviously, I even get a little mad at him and feel guilty for it too!
Example of a OH YEAH!:
Morningtime: hubby holds me with a long, meaningful hug before going to work. During the day (not at the end of it), hubby and I are "connected", he calls me from work and we do not talk about what's going on in the house, rather we talk about how good he looked this morning in his suit and tie or about how good it is for him coming back home to me and the kids everyday. He sends me a text msg of the type:"just thinking of you!".. He comes home from work and hugs me from behind while I am folding laundry. I know what is supposed to happen but he says: "Leave it to me, baby, I'll do it for you". I am already in the bedroom!!! WHY CAN'T MEN GET IT???

You sound pretty normal to me.
You're young, no offense, and you have two kids who must be pretty young. You probably just get tired and have a hard time getting in the mood.
It sounds like you have an understanding and patient husband. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself.
I know when my kids were little, I actually enjoyed my husband more in the morning after I'd had a good night's rest. We would watch a movie or a favorite TV show and cuddle after the kids were in bed, but I always fell asleep. Let's face it....I was tired. The morning thing worked for us.
Sometimes you just have to get a little creative.
You should schedule an appointment with your doctor so you can talk to them about it and make sure you don't have any health issues. Then, give yourself a bit of a break and know that you are not the only one who isn't in the mood as often as your husband.
Also, you're not on birth control. Are you sure that in the back of your mind you aren't worried about getting pregnant? That might have something to do with it too.

Things will get better.
Best wishes.

I'm interested in how old your kids are. After my last two kids I had a very reduced sex drive compared to what it had been like during pregnancy and after I had my first two kids. I did talk to my doctor about it as I was thinking it was probably my birth control. He said that was unlikely, but I'm still not sure. Anyway, obviously you are not on birth control, so that isn't your problem. My doctor and I did discuss how sometimes the internal worry of getting pregnant can cause some women to have a lower sex drive and they see sometimes an increased sex drive in women after a man has a vasectomy. :) Of course you are probably not ready for that (we aren't either).

I agree with the posters who said that sex starts in your mind. You have to make a conscious effort to be in the mood sometimes, and it isn't easy. But it does help if your husband knows some things that will help you get there, the connections throughout the day, the non-sexual hug, the spending time together.

Also, I have seen improvement when I am exercising regularly. Unfortunately, right now I am having trouble fitting that into my day, but if you can schedule that in, I think it really does help. Part of it is that it makes you feel better about yourself and the way you look and this does then translate into you feeling more sexy. Also, go out and buy some new lingerie, something really pretty that you feel great in, and that your husband will also love. Lingerie isn't all for the man, I think it helps put the woman in the mood too. One other thing that helps me is to read a good Christian book about why men need sex, and what it does for them. I applaud you for knowing that it is important for your husband and your wanting to fulfill this need for him. So even if you know that, it does sometimes really help for me to get the book out and read all the benefits my husband will get from it and then it increases my desire to give it to him.

The truth is, that I think it is just going to be hard for us while we have little kids. I feel like I get touched and needed all day by my children, and I am emotionally and physically drained by the time my husband comes home. I am hoping that as the kids get older, things will start to improve. Just know that you are not alone in this, there are others of us that are dealing with the exact same thing.

M.

I am impressed with the 3-4 times a week! You are going above and beyond the call of duty, especially if you are just going throught the motions. I have to agree with what Shane was saying. After working all day and dealing with dinner and kids, going to bed and having sex is usually the last thing on my mind (most of the time). We use bedtime for snuggling, watching tv, and catching up with each other. First thing in the morning though, we are both rested and ready to go. Have you 2 talked about maybe pausing for 3-4 weeks and going without? I know you want to please your husband, but he sounds understanding enough to want to help you in any way he can. This would let your mind rest and not stress so much over it. Stressing over this is not helping you want it more. I have been in your shoes!
Hope this helps! Good luck and God bless!

Do NOT feel bad!! How little are your boys? Girl, the littler they are the worse your sex drive may be, and thats sooo normal. With them tugging at you all day and you carrying them around, you are so done with physical contact, and being totally drained doesn't help at all. Lastnight it took me a long while to 'switch gears' from my babies to my husband. I couldn't get my newborns face out of my head!! Its hard. You just have to find what works for you, and I feel like Beth nailed it. I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents to say that you're not alone!! Goodluck!

Maybe you are just tired, and mentally drained from all the work put in being a good stay at home momma. Sometimes it happens. And maybe your hubby needs to take some extra time getting you in the mood. Think of some creative ways to have fun and set the mood right. Light some candles, have some wine after the kids have gone to bed. Take some time for just you two.
Get a sitter one night, or have someone take the children overnight and go to a hotel (if you can afford it) and have a romantic night together.
Quality time is the key.

You may not know this, but there is a wide range of "normal" regarding sex drive. Although we all have peaks when our hormones are raging, it is not at all uncommon to have a low sex drive...just as common as it is to run across someone who has a higher sex drive. If you are looking to increasing your sex drive, I have heard and experienced that regular exercise tends to psychologically boost one's body image thereby giving a little kick to your libido.

You have to take your mind off of the kids and focus it on your husband. If you keep listening for kids in the background or thinking of what chore you could be doing right now, you wont relax enough to actually enjoy making love to your childrens father. It is "all in your head". He gave you those sweet boys while making love, right? You need to put your brain where your vagina is so to speak, and really concentrate on being a sexual being again, you are not JUST a wife and mom.... you are a woman who loves her husband and deserves to enjoy good sex too! Wrap your mind around it, stop resisting pleasure, it's okay to be your old self ... dont lose that! Practice being a little selfish with what you want in the bedroom. He will bend over backwards to get you in the mood. Love making is much better when wife's head is into it and not just her body going through the motions, they can totally tell the difference. If you need longer foreplay to get your mind focused- let him know that. Do not feel guilty for taking time out for some good sex with your husband. Its very easy for moms to forget how good sex is, we get busy and forget about it without realizing. Practice makes perfect.

First of allI recommend you go and get a check to be sure their is not anything medically out of whack thatis causing you to have a low sex drive. Maybe it could be some kind of harmone outof order or maybe your thyroid.

Women reach their sexual peeks much later than men. Typically men peak around 20 years old, while women usually don't reach their peak until closer to 40 years old. Nature's cruel joke, I guess. (No wonder there are so many cougars nowadays!)