49 answers


Hey Mama's! I'm just wondering what your thoughts are on a vacation situation. See I know a mom who is going on vacation for a week and leaving her two kids (4 yrs. & 18 mos.) and husband at home. She is a full-time mom. A babysitter is planned to care for the kids during the day while the husband works. Is this selfish? What are your thoughts on the situation?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all so much for your responses! I've decided that as long as everyone involved is okay with the situation, then there shall be no worries.

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I think she should take a family vacation they all need time away from the normal routine. I also think if she is taking a vacation away from the kids her husband should go with her. I do think it would be selfish for her or her husband to take vacation alone when they both need a break.

1 mom found this helpful

I think it depends on the person and what the vacation is....I went to my high school reunion last year for 4 days and left my husband home with the kids b/c it was cheaper for me to go alone and not to hire a babysitter. I think it depends on if the husband takes vacations, if she never gets to do anything and is ready for some time away. I also think it depends on the vacation...visiting an old friend, spa weekend, etc but if she is going to Cancun for a week with a bunch of single girls??? I would Never do that. Also, I have friends whose husbands never help, travel on golf trips, Vegas w/ the guys, etc if that is the case, she needs to leave him with some responsibility for awhile and get away herself. My husband travels for work but never, ever leaves me to go out w/ friends so I would never go on a girl's trip.

1 mom found this helpful

Good for her. My vote, if they can afford to do it, do it. Even mommies need down time. I went away for about 5 days and it did me the world of good. I was stressed, crabby and not nice to be around before I left. I was relaxed and a better mommy to my boys when I got back. My husband gets to go away to 1 week every summer. Why should I? Mommies don't have to be martyrs, they are people too and deserve time off.

1 mom found this helpful

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I have taken a vacation away from my husband and kids. I had a baby that had a lot of minor problems that made her cry for hours every day. And, at the same time, I had a toddler. I just needed a break. I hope that we Moms don't judge each other. Sometimes we need a break from everyone needed us to be a mom or a wife. And, there are moms who never need that break. So, I hope that we moms stop judging each other. Who cares what we think about her choice? It is her choice and no one should judge it. We should embrace her and realize she didn't make the decision without a lot of reflection and thought. (And, surely discussing this with her husband.) The sooner we begin to embrace each others as moms the more successful we will be.

2 moms found this helpful

I think she should take a family vacation they all need time away from the normal routine. I also think if she is taking a vacation away from the kids her husband should go with her. I do think it would be selfish for her or her husband to take vacation alone when they both need a break.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.

I think we have grown up in a society where we are all brain washed into thinking a mother has no right to take care of her own needs. We as mothers have a right and needs that we are responsible for taking care of. Our happiness is our own responsibility. If this Mom needs a vacation, then she absolutely should take one and deserves one, It will give her an opportunity to get some much needed rest and refocus. It will only make her a better Mom that she took care of her needs and took time to regenerate. A Mom that depleats herself is not operating at full capacity and is not giving her children the best she has to offer.

We as women need to enjoy life and be happy. The best gift we can give to our children is to show them how to be happy. Everyone needs a break sometimes and that is OK, in fact it is the healthiest thing she can do.

If she were being neglectful and taking trips all the time that would be different but for an occasional trip, that is great and should be celerated that she made herself do it as we all know how hard it is for a Mom to leave her kids. If she is your friend encourage her as I am sure many people are tearing her down right now. She will need your support and it is exactly what she should be doing.

Be well

1 mom found this helpful

No, it's not selfish. Moms need a break too. It makes them a better mom and she will come back refreshed and ready to see her children. As long as she has made arrangements for babysitting, it should not be a problem. I recently went on a "girls only weekend" and when I got home I felt more appreciated because my husband saw everything that I did and my son was so happy to see me. Full-time moms get taken for granted so it's good for the dads to see everything that we do. We never get a day off!!

1 mom found this helpful

I think it is really necessary for a person's sanity. Good for her for making the time for herself to recharge & reconnect with herself! It is not easy to carve out that kind of time. There are a lot of envious moms reading this!

More power to her!


1 mom found this helpful

This response is for some of the 'Mom's' who have already responded.

It is my understanding that this forum was created for us to be able to get advice and opinions from each other. Many of you crossed that line by simply stating this was 'None of her business'. For pete's sake! For sure this is either a question she's asking for her own sanity OR she's just trying to find out if her OWN feelings are on track or out of whack! She KNOWS it's none of HER BUSINESS, that's why she asked US how we would feel. She asked your opinion on a specific topic. You/We shouldn't judge her - at least not here.

As for my thoughts-
Mom's, take every single chance you can to recharge your own batteries. If the trip is on the up and up, certainly and for sure she will miss her family. She'll think about them all day, every day. When she returns- EVERYBODY will appreciate EACH other so much more.

1 mom found this helpful

NO! This is NOT selfish! It's for her own sanity and for the benefit of all the rest of her family. It'll help her love her family even more upon her return.

1 mom found this helpful

My first question is why does this bother you? Are you jealous? I understand the need to get away every once in a while as I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 13 month old. If it makes you a better mommy when you get back than I say go for it! I'm sure you'll understand as your little boy gets older and when you have more than one.

1 mom found this helpful

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