Update from Yesterdays Note from School

Updated on November 10, 2012
J.M. asks from Orange Park, FL
14 answers

I signed the request from teacher to speak to my son about "picking' on another student. I wrote a note to her requesting a conference. Gave her my phone # and said I would come to the classroom. She did not even look at my sons planner to see my signature nor note!!!!!!!!! Now I'm PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So What Happened?

The Planners are the main source of communication in our school. That is why she put the note to me in the Planner & I wrote my request to her right beside her request to me to sign. The reason I got so upset was because the teacher has said he would be sent to the principals office. I want to know the full story of exactly what happened. I don't want my son to become a bully or hurt peoples feelings!! I guess it's not such a big deal if she didn't even take the time to see if I signed her note. The reason I quoted "picking" is because that is what the teacher stated. I'm over 40, and yes it feels good to throw a fit like a teen!! I'm over it!! Thank you all for your responses:)

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Doesn't she use email? My kiddos' teachers do. Just email her and request a meeting. Being pissed about this (teachers do get busy sometimes) seems like much ado about nothing.

7 moms found this helpful

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K.P.

answers from New York on

How do you know that she didn't even look at the planner? Is it possible that your son didn't show her the planner b/c he doesn't want you to have the conference b/c the version of the story you will hear doesn't match his?

I would email the teacher (nicely) on Monday if you don't hear from her sooner. She's not obligated to call you within 24 hours, so it's entirely possible that it was a crazy day and she'll call you tomorrow.

Don't assume the teacher is at fault. It sounds like your son is pushing some limits (typical), so regardless of how well you communicate with your son, don't assume he's accurate. After all, he claims he doesn't remmber if he apologized or didn't. My guess is that he didn't and he knows you are going to be peeved when you hear about it.

This is NOT a pressing issue to a teacher, especially if your son is generally a good kid. Again, polite and respectful "did you see my note" email is the best way to communicate with a teacher.

6 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Still don't know why you're getting so riled up. If she only sent home a note, it doesn't sound like it was a huge deal...just something that needed to be addressed before it became a real problem. If it were a big deal, she or the principal would have called.

I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

Also, if you sent a note to teacher (for an unnecessary conference), why didn't you expect your son to show her? Didn't he know the note for her was there?

Your irritation seems misguided, IMHO.

ETA: Just out of curiosity, why did you put "picking" in quotes?

5 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Would she really have time to check every child's planner every day? At our school we only dealt with this kind of communication and paperwork on Mondays and Fridays. Those were the days to collect forms, permission slips and respond to requests.
Anything URGENT was handled by email and/or phone.
If you're not willing to wait a few days or so to hear back from her then send her an email.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

I wouldn't be pissed she is dealing with 20+ kids...not like this is an emergency...so call her tomorrow and between now and then settle down..your kid sounds like the one at fault not the aggrieved party.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I would be mad too, Because i am a mom that wants to stay on top of stuff, like you sound like you do too.

I did read the other answer and stopped in my tracks when someone suggested your son didn't turn his planner in. My ds just recently started what i call lying, did you change your socks, yes, where are the dirty ones, in the hamper, SHOW me, uh uh uh, i forget where i put them, You didn't Put them anywhere you left them on your FEET. I"ve always been able to trust him so this phase is shocking to me,
So,
If you are asking for a plan of action, Yes i probably would call the teacher tomorrow.
wait a minute, she should have been expecting your signature at least, so why didn't she ask him for it?? especailly if he usually is concientious. hmmm.

PLease please give an update when you get to the bottom of this.
and i hope it all works out ok.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Important things such as face to face meetings shouldn't be left to notes that are sent in through the children. Not ever. I don't even trust my 12 year old to handle passing that sort of note because it's not the sort of note she's interested in passing. Even my responsible 7 year old would legitimately forget.

This is a request you make through direct e-mail to the teacher or through her classroom voicemail. You can call the school office and ask for either of them or for both of them. The school support staff would probably even put you through into the voicemail or directly to the teacher's room if she's still there.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would have asked her at that time if there was a good time to call or if she'd prefer email or what. Most teachers in the kids' schools have been accessible by email and we gave them a couple of days to follow up. She cannot leave her classroom to call you and is likely spending her lunch doing things. Is it possible she saw it but didn't have time to follow up?

1 mom found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Sounds like she is very busy and just didn't make the time. Email her and tell her when you want to come for a conference. Give her time to see your email.

Notes and daytimers are not always the teacher's first line of communication.

Dawn

1 mom found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Memphis on

i understand the urgency, but you need to go into the conversation level headed, not ranting and raving. you do need to act quickly though, if your child is becoming a bully, you need to nip it in the butt real quick.

1 mom found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

wow this sounds like a response from a teen.
its not like your kid was the one being picked on. why the urgency?
email her

i'm sure if she had an in person meeting every time a kid needed to be spoken to she'd never have time to plan lessons

1 mom found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Well she could have been handling a new day's crisis at the time the kids were waiting to have their planners looked at. Your son probably wasn't very anxious to go out of his way to show it to her, either. I doubt it's a snub. I would tell your son to make sure she sees your note tomorrow. If still no reply, email. If still none, stop by in person.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If the teacher isn't that worried about it, why don't you just let the whole affair go? It didn't sound like your son was really "picking" on the student much, anyway.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

All of these posts really do need to be in one place. One cannot know what each post is about without finding the previous posts. My intent is not to criticize but to support the format of this site and to make it easier for all of us to know what is happening so that we can respond or not.

Actually, this post doesn't have a question. It's a SWH from yesterday's post. and it may be an indication of why you are having communication difficulties. Could it be that the teacher and you are not on the same page? Again, this is not criticism. I state it as food for thought.

I don't understand first, how you know the teacher didn't read your request and second why you're so upset. If you expected her to call you the same day, I suggest it's an unrealistic expectation. She has 24 or more students in her classroom. And, it doesn't sound like this is such a big deal.

I also don't understand why he's to be sent to the principals office for making a face at another student.

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