Up All Night and Desperate!

Updated on May 03, 2009
L.K. asks from Waynesville, MO
9 answers

I have a two year old son that for the past two weeks has been constantly getting up 5-6 times a night. I'm tired, it's exhuasting and I'm at a loss. I have no idea what to do to stop this from happening. Do I let him cry himself back to sleep? I refuse to bring him to bed with me as I'm a light sleeper as it is plus I believe that a child should sleep in his/her own bed.

Also, he's been giving me a hard time every time I put him down for a nap and in the evenings when it's time to go to bed. I know it's not a routine because we've always had one. Is this a stage he's going through? Please-anything would help at this point....soo tired!

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M.C.

answers from Johnson City on

Thank you and your husband,Louise that he is doing his thing to help our country!! As for your two year old and the lack of sleep, I would of course make sure that he is not sick. Sometimes early ear infections or cutting teeth can bother them when they lay down. I'm guessing since it has gone on for two weeks now that illness is not the case. Children are most definately affected by change, and they feel our stress. I would suggest keeping to the same routine if possible. Talk to him about how you're feeling and what is taking place. Reasure him that all is well. If he is very vocal, ask him to tell you what is going on. I do think that the rule of thumb on it is to stay with the normal routine though. It might benefit you if there is someone that he could stay with for a night or two. This way you can get some rest and the change might be good for him. Good luck on this honey!!

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R.R.

answers from Raleigh on

Could be that your son is sensing your upset and sadness since your husband is leaving soon. So he is not wanting to sleep or he wants to be close to you because he i comforted having you near. Some people may disagree with me but having 3 boys myself they sense when Mama is upset and cling to you like never before. Just be patient and hold him close he needs it as much as you do. Good luck and Thank your husband for me I think what he is doing for our country is great.

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V.W.

answers from Wheeling on

Dear Louise,
God Bless your Husband as he leaves.
And may God give you the wisdom on how to comfort
your precious son.
I always did my best to play and talk to my children.
I try very hard to see they did not see alot of corruption around them or hear things that did not suit them as they were young like radio, music and TV.
Before I laid tem in bed we would say a verse from the Bible and pray before we went to sleep.
Have a little lite on in his room and maybe soft music of some sort.
Take care
God Bless you my dear
Vicki W.

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S.T.

answers from Nashville on

Has his diet changed lately? No sugar or caffeine after 3ish in the afternoon, and play, play, play!! If they are tired, they sleep harder and better. Is he still taking naps?? Perhaps cut those shorter?? Every child is so unique and different. Dont you wish there were manuals?!?!
A nice warm bath with the lavender bubble bath could help to soothe and relax, too.

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T.K.

answers from Fayetteville on

Louise,
All three of my boys went through a phase similar to this at the same age - my third is just getting out if it and he will be 3 in July. Some times people will think this happens because the child doesn't need as much sleep - in my experience - my children have more interrupted sleep when they are not getting enough sleep. So stick to getting him down for nap and bed - and if he sleeps long in his nap - let him...sleep begets sleep.

Now, it is also possible that your son is feeling and reacting to your and your husband's stress level...You may be saying - "but I am not stressed" - with your husband getting ready to leave for Afghanistan - yes you are - even if you don't realize it. All three of my boys (6,4, and 4 months) reacted to the stress of me and my husband before he deployed to Iraq for 15 months a few years ago) Remember, children often react the the stress that we don't even realize we have. Some people may say this is crazy b/c your son is so young, but talk to him about what is going on around him. Tell him you are sad because his daddy has to go away for awhile, you don't have to go into all the detail of what is involved in a deployment - but put it in simple language. Talk to him about why he isn't sleeping, don't expect an answer really. It will be a little bit of a monologue on your part, but it may help your son to relax. It worked for all of my children, and once their dad was actually gone and the anticipation of the deployment was gone - we all settled back into a routine and everyone got into a routine.

Best of Luck to you!
T.

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K.P.

answers from Santa Fe on

When I weaned my almost-2-y/o son, it was because he was getting up 2-3x a night, and I was exhausted. Basically, I just started spanking him and putting him back in his bed *every* time he got out. He didn't like it, but within a few nights he had stopped and was sleeping through the night -- and has done so for the past year.

However, I agree with the other commenter that your son is probably picking up on the anxiety in the house, and that is feeding this. Talk to him. Tell him what's going on. Explain it to him, even if he doesn't understand it. Be honest with him on a 2-y/o level. But also be firm with him that he can't get up in the middle of the night any more -- that he needs his sleep and that you need your sleep. Be consistent about putting him back in his bed immediately and every time he wakes up.

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C.R.

answers from Charlotte on

Does he have all his two year molars yet? We had a lot of night waking when the molars were coming in. We used Hylands Homeopathic Teething Tablets and they worked like a charm.

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M.W.

answers from Huntington on

Hey there Louise! I want to say that I am not a professional brainiac degreed in academia...but I have had wonderful opportunities to be involved with many different children and their families. I am raising three super-nice,well-adjusted kids, was a nanny for a family of 3 children,then longer for a family of five children, and have worked with preschoolers in centers and had a certified,state monitored home childcare center...all of this because I love kids...I just get them :). Kids,even the very young are so in tune with mommies. I am wondering if you are worried about your husband being deployed(or other big fear) and your lil guy is picking up on your anxiety? If anything unpleasant or worrisome is going on at home, our babies will feel it,absorb some of it...and let it out in various negative ways. Just an idea. Also, I put my first child in bed with me and I couldn't get her out until age 7. My second child was very happy in her bed though I was prepared to scootch a little more :). My third child was a little more clingy and unhappy with the separation, so he is still in the "big bed" at age 3. My first child graduates this month with great grades and a promising future,:)....all kids are designed beautifully different, and sometimes we just need to change our "rules" for them. It all works out well, without anxious babies.
Most people will not be able to explain WHY the kids aren't allowed in bed with them.It makes some things more difficult to arrange of course, but again, happy babies make for happy mommies. Also, I am studying sociology considering a Master's degree in criminology because I am always interested in human behavior,especially crime, so I have watched and read in my 40 years a lot of info about criminals...NEVER ONCE did I read or hear some investigator say anything like "The mass murderer/nutjob/pedophile,etc..was in his parent's bed until age 5"...lol. Good luck,so the bed debate rages on, and do whatever feels right to you.

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G.M.

answers from Raleigh on

how many napsis he taking during the day? maybe he should be sleeping less during the day. Is there a reason taht he's getting up at night? (scared, hungry, wet?)

I'm with you on the whole sleep in your own bed thing! and I have let my son cry himself back to sleep. Mostly when he was in his crib and couldn't get out :) but sometimes if he just refuses to sleep in his bed, i'll let him sleep on the couch. A lot of times with him, if it's just a different location that the onehe has an aversion to, he's cool with it.

hope you get some sleep soon!!!!

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