Sleeping Habits, One Yr Old Not Sleeping!

I also agree with everyone who said don't worry about bringing him into the bed with you if you are happy with doing it and can sleep better that way. When dad comes back, then deal with transitioning back to crib/bed. We coslept for a few months around that age and then at about 17 months or so she happily went to her own bed (regular bed not crib) with no problem. Good luck!

Read the book WHat Doctors don't tell us about Vaccines, by Stephaniae Cave, and The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears......

Perhaps he is cutting some teeth that are bothering him.
Perhaps he has slight reflux, elevate the head of his bed by putting something really solid like a dictionary under the leg on each side of the head of his bed.

J. - I am an ex military wife so I understand. Take a deep breath and relax. Your sweet baby misses there dad so that is part of the problem. Do what you need to do and deal with it later when you are emotionally stable. It is hard to be the only one doing everything. If you need to talk - please don't hesitate to email me - ____@____.com.

A.

Why shouldn't you bring your child into bed with you? People have been family sleeping for centuries with no ill effects on the child.

Just make sure your bed is safe for your little one-no room to get caught between the mattress and the wall, mattress is firm enough, not too many blankets, etc.

Your husband is deployed. Life is different. Don't be afraid to roll with the changes and respond to your sweetie's requests. He can tell something is different and right now he needs all the support and love only you can provide.

When your husband returns, you may have to get a little creative about your "reunions" but I'm assuming you have more than one room in the house............

Good luck, hon. Do what works for you and your baby and don't worry about whatever everyone else says. You know best for him!

Blessings to you and prayers for your husband's safe return!

I wouldn't worry about bringin him into bed with you too much. Hey - your husband is not sleeping in there anyway. Although, you may have some issues getting him out when your husband returns. That won't be too much fun. But it won't ruin him for life! He might be teething. I know my daughter who is now 22 months woke up a lot during the night at this age. They just kind of go through stages. We just would go in there and check to make sure things are fine. If so, just lay her down to go back to sleep. She would cry a bit, but eventually go back to sleep. I know my daughter sometimes would wake up in the middle of the night because of ear infections. It puts pressure on their little ears when they lay down. Have you take him to get checked out? Just in case. Anyway, I am sure this will pass and he will start sleeping through the night again. Heck, my daughter at 22 months woke up three times last week in the middle of the night. I don't why?? We just checked in on her and she fell back asleep each time.

J.,
I have three kids, 13, 11 and 2 year old. My two year old sleeps with me every night. I don't care what any other person says, my other two kids did the same. My daughter around 4th grade didn't want to sleep with me anymore and my son, around the same age. (my husband isn't a cuddler and I am, so are my kids) Anyway, if that is how you get sleep and you are okay with it then do it.
Secondly, my husband was gone for a little over a month when our son was about that age, I first had my sister watch him but it was over a hour drive both ways, I got really tired and wasn't spending time, quality time, so I ended up putting him in daycare of 1-2 weeks (during Thanksgiving and he got really sick at the daycare). My point is he got really clingy too me, he would hold on to me all the time. I'm wondering if your husband just left. My husband was the only one my son knew, stay at home dad, while I work. To this day, he doesn't do good if my husband has to be away, maybe one-two days but after that he clings to me tightly. I don't even leave him in daycare at church, not because I don't trust them, but I hate seeing him cry like that. Then afterward he won't leave me alone.
I don't see a problem letting him sleep with you if that is what you want, also, if you start it, it'll be hard to change once your husband comes home. If your husband doesn't mind, then do it.
God Bless you and I'll pray you get your sleep!

I dont know why your child is waking in the middle of the night, but I just wanted to let you know that no matter what people tell you, if sleeping with your son is what works, then do it!!! My 3 year old daughter sleeps with my husband and I and I LOVE it!! A lot of people say not to sleep with your child cause it puts a damper on the love life...if you know what I mean. But if you and your husband have a happy a healthy relationship, then you two will find time to spend with each other than just in the bed. In fact it is quite fun having to sneek behind our daughters back when we want to do you know what. It makes us feel like we are in high school again. Do what works for you, there is no shame in sleeping your child, in fact, you had better treasure it now cause you wont have that time with them 5 years down the road. Good luck!!

Hey J., Bless your heart, I know how you feel. My 13 mo old is doing the same thing. Is he walking yet? Did he just discover some NEW activity like running, climbing, etc. My little one just started walking and she's so excited about it, she can't seem to keep her mind off it, even at night. My 5 year old did the same at this age. I think they are really starting to develop mentally and you know how WE stay awake at night thinking and we can't take our minds off of thing?
Another though, my 5 year old was ADDICTED to Finding Nemo at about 14months. She would wake up in the night and scream for it. I was a single mom at the time, and our lives had been completely wrecked and we had moved into 3 different homes in 4 months to whomever would take us. She reacted to my stress, and her sleep habits were greatly affected for a long time after that.
So, I was living with my mom and dad, and my mom suggested that she was being over stimulated by Nemo. We cut it out for a couple months, went back to Baby Einstine, Praise Baby... infant things. Also, I COULD NOT take her to the mall, or Walmart or really, anyplace busy because it overstimulated her so much. We always had a terrible night after something like that.

I know you're feeling badly right now about bringing him to bed. But guess what. Some people frown on that, they start their babies out in the cribs and they never let them into the "family bed", which is great, if that is your wish! But your baby only has YOU right now, and you have HIM. I think you should not beat yourself up about it. DO what you think is right because I have been there, a scared young toddler whose daddy left (although your's is fighting for a righteous cause and THANK YOU both for that!!!)

If you want your baby in bed with you, do it. If you BOTH sleep better, fine. When my baby was older, when I remarried, she was almost 3 and we gradually got her to sleep in her big bed alone. now I have really no problems with it.

I know child psycologists would chide me for this, but your baby is only a BABY once! They will grow out of it sooner than you think. I look back and hate the way I got upset after getting up 3 or 4 times a night because she wouldn't stay asleep. It affected my job, my mood, I was trying to do what the books said, but instead I fought with her for months and probably kept both her and myself upset and both cranky and resenting night time.

Let me know if you just need to talk. I have been through real "single motherhood" with my whole world ripped apart. I know its tough and I have a little one close to your son's age. Guess what, she wakes up almost every morning around 5 or 6 and I put her in bed with us. She wakes up happy and cheerful, she doesn't cry and wale and keep us up, and most of all, I don't resent her for doing it, like I did my first. And I can't go back and fix that...

Hang in there ;)

Co-sleeping is a widely practiced method to nurturing your child through all phases all around the world. Please read Dr. Sears' Sleep book. You will feel a lot better about bringing your child into bed with you. You will get sleep, he will get sleep, and best of all he will walk through life knowing that his mom was always there to comfort him through a difficult time. He will come to your bed when he needs you, and sleep in his own when he feels secure. It is OK. He is probably going through night terrors, bad dreams, or simply is afraid when he wakes up all alone. He is only a tiny dependent creature, who needs you to respond when he asks (cries). CIO only teaches your child that they cannot depend on you to comfort and nurture him. That is why it doesn't work, and goes against your every instinct as a mother. I have read so many responses from women who swear by CIO, but they all say it was torturous for them to hear their babies cry for hours. How Awful!! I commend you for your strength to do this alone, and truly feel that you are already doing the EXACT correct thing already. Love this time, it is precious and short.

wow i have the same problem. and i too also put him in my bed and hold him b/c yes sometimes thats the only way to get some sleep. when my husband is gone i've noticed that my son does not sleep as well. it may be that your child is going through a growth spert and isn't sleeping well. it may be that your kid is thirsty not hungry. put a sippy cup by his bed and when he wakes up there is water available. good luck and i hope everything works out! God Bless!

What are his nap habits? Is he cold? My baby is 10 months old and she is generally sleeping through the night. But one time on the weekend, I let her sleep in the afternoon until she woke up on her own (she ended up taking a 3 hour afternoon nap). Well, I paid for it that night with her waking up 3 times.

I say keep that kiddp in bed with you while he's still cuddly & squishy. :) If it works, do it.

I've coslept with mine & they've transitioned to their own beds with no problems.

I have had the same issue with my 2 year old daughter, who had slept through the night at 3 months and stopped a few months later. I tried all of the tricks....more food, teething tablets, Advil, letting her cry, etc. Nothing really seemed to work. She would wake up like clockwork every night. As time went on, she would change the time of night that she would wake up, but it would stay the same for weeks on end before it changed again. Like you, I did not want to bring her into bed, but I was so tired that I felt like I was dying. Her sleep has improved but is not perfect at this point. She always starts to sleep in her bed. I felt like she should know that her room is a good, safe place. Some nights she sleeps through. Other nights she does not. At this point, if she wakes up before about 4 or 5am, I can go in, change her diaper, and put her back down in her own bed/crib. If she wakes up after that, I'll bring her into my bed. I do not rock her to sleep and try to put her back in her bed. She ALWAYS wakes up, which makes the lack of sleep even more annoying. I have to agree with those who say that crying it out works for some and not others. I do not know why she wakes up, other than she just has an internal clock that goes off. I do not think that you are doomed with a non-sleeper forever, but you might be doomed for a little longer. On the days that you are too tired to move, bring your son into bed and don't worry about it. Just enjoy the sleep. On the days that you have a little more energy, try going in and comforting him for a short time and/or changing his diaper and putting him back in his bed. No need to let him cry forever, but you can see if he will go to sleep within 5 or 10 minutes. If so, bonus. If not, bring him to bed and do the routine again. I never thought that I would be able to get my daughter to go back to sleep on her own, but she did. I can say that I am a lot more rested and happier than I was when we were battling her to go to sleep. Good luck to you!!!!!

Was he recently vaccinated? My autistic son woke up in the middle of the night screaming most every night and I was unable to comfort him. I put him on the gluten and casein free diet which helped.

Some suggestions:
1. I would check his teeth. They could be coming in and hurting. Whatever teething remedy you use might help then.
2. Try giving him some milk/formula right before bedtime (1/2 c or so) will fill him up and help him sleep better.
3. Make his naps either shorter in duration or earlier in the day.

Good luck!

This may sound weird, but it worked with my son. Try putting him to bed earlier - maybe 30 minutes for a night or two and adjust from there- you may have to back the bedtime up considerably. I did 30 minutes for a couple of days with my son and had to back it up nearly an hour to get him to sleep better. He is currently 2 years and goes to bed at 6:30 every night and sleeps 12 hours - also about a two hour nap each afternoon. If your son is overtired when you put him to bed, he may be just catnapping. And, try to let him cry it out again - you're best bet for sleep is if he is able to put himself to sleep without you rocking him. It's very hard the first 3 or 4 nights, but once he learns to put himself to sleep, you will be in dream heaven! Good luck and keep us posted.

May I reccommend the book "Healthy sleep habits, happy child"? Sorry, I can't remember the doctor that wrote the book - but it is a great source of info about sleep patterns! I know you don't have time to read - it's set up where you can just read the section of the age your child is in, which is helpful for busy, overtired mommies!

First, thank you to the sacrific you and your husband are making for our country. My husband was a marine and did 2 tours in Afghanistan when my kids were 2 & 4 and again when they were 3 & 5, so I know what it's like to do it all alone and to try to get sleep the only way you can. That being said, my kids were a bit older than yours, but while he was gone, I had one or both in bed with me pretty much every night. They always went to bed in their beds with their normal bedtime routine, but once they woke up, they were in bed with me. I didn't mind too much b/c I was getting sleep, and b/c I could snuggle with them. I worried that when my hubby came home it would be a hard habit to break. Imagine my surprise when as soon as my hubby returned, the kids stayed in their beds all night. I don't know if they really knew it and felt safer or what, but there was no problem with them staying in bed once he was home. Maybe this would be the same for you. If your baby likes to cuddle with you and you feel safe, I'd say do it. He may since that his daddy is gone and need extra snuggle time with you to know that all is right in the world.

Thanks again! Hang in there!

Could be teething or have gas. But if nothing is physically wrong with him then yes the cry it out method does work but not if you don't stick to it and it could take hours it's not easy by any means but it does eventually work.

i used to let my daughter sleep with me whenever she had trouble sleeping even when it happened alot when she was a baby and she has turned out very secure and happy child. you are the only one that knows your child and what is best is for him. if extra attention is what your child needs, whats wrong with that? nothing. i feel that children need as much love as you can show them and that will produce secure adults. my daughter is going to be 16 in January and she is very secure and happy and we are extremely close and she tells me everything going in her life and thats a good thing.

He probably misses his daddy. I had separation issues with my daughter. After her daddy went on deployment, she would not let me too far out of her sight. The only exception was at church, that was a routine before my DH left. At this point sleeping with you might be best. I am very much a "children sleep in their own beds" mom, but there are times when exceptions need to be made. My daughter was very afraid that I would leave, as well. She was about the same age as your son. If the reassuance that you are there will allow you both to get sleep, then you can deal with the sleeping arrangements after daddy returns. They might even resolve themselves with minimal effort. As tough as DH being gone is, I think that his return is tougher. I had a routine that worked for us, and had a hard time not getting frustrated when he "interfered". Being exhausted only intensified the problem. Praying for you and your family during this tough time. Thank you for your family's sacrifice.

Going through the same thing with our 13 month old. It's the strangest thing...you rock her and she seems SOUND asleep in your arms, but the minute she touches the bed she screams.

We've tried several things. For us, crying it out seems to work. It's TOUGH - almost unbearable, actually - but it has worked to train her back into good sleep patterns. (After she'd TRAINED us to get up and rock her.)

BUT, other people have made some good points here that all babies are not the same. What does your pediatrician say about crying it out not working? I'd get his/her advice for sure.

It does seem like if we give Natalie her teething tablets (which she loves to pick up from our hand and put in her mouth, herself) and some Motrin before bedtime, she sleeps better and longer -- which makes us think that the restless sleep is because of teething.

Also, when she is going through a development milestone phase (crawling, etc.) she is much more restless through the night. Right now, she's teething AND trying to learn to walk, and is not a sound sleeper at all. She is waking up 2-3 times per night crying, but she puts herself back to sleep in a matter of minutes since we went through a horrible week of crying it out.

I hope the best for you!!! It can't be easy to do it alone, so really, it's all about survival. Whatever works for you...is what works. :) Just know you're not alone out there every night, there are many of us "up" with you. Good luck!

We're going through the same thing with our 15 month old son. I took him in to make sure he didn't have an ear infection - they looked in his mouth and told us he's getting all 4 molars at once - so he's likely waking up from that. We give him some motrin and homeopathic teething drops before he goes to bed - that seems to help. But some nights he's just up - and if we can get him back to sleep he won't let us put him down. I ususally just sleep wih him on the couch - sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If I try to let him cry it out he just gets more and more hysterical - doesn't work for us either. Hope it gets better soon!

I had a similar problem with my daughter. She was growing so rapidly...the doctor called her amazon baby....that she just wasn't getting enough calories. I added rice cereal back into her diet during the day to give her more calories and yes I had to feed her a bottle in the middle of the night for a REALLY LONG TIME. Had I not experienced it myself I would think this was ridiculous! The rice cereal given multiple times a day really helped a lot.
I know you are exhausted...I'm so sorry....
I've also gone through having a 2 month old when my husband was deployed....and my son was 11 months when Daddy returned. It is tough....hang in there...you can do this!

HI J.,
My hubby was also deployed when my son was age. My son missed his Dada and wanted to be reassured by me. I let him sleep in my bed when he woke and even moved him into my bed when i went to sleep before he woke. A funny thing happened ... by him being in my bed he started to sleep better, started to sleep thru the night and when i started to put him in his crib @ night he started doing that really well. I know there r heaps of people that say if u put the baby in with u then u will never get them out. This is defninitely not true for us. I feel that sometimes our kids need more support than at other times so if we give it to them they will be more confident and have a better grounding because we r fulfilling their needs. If u have time take a look @ DR Sears books or even askdrsears.com. He's an amazing peds dr with 10 kids who believes in working out what is best for u and your child including co-sleeping.

Hope this helps

Mertees

hi J.
i just wanted you know that i totally and completely get how you are feeling!!!!! My son did everything you just wrote!!! We did EVERYTHING..rocking, feeding, cry it out. Finally we stuck with the cry it out for a few nights which were just terrible but it worked and he slept through the night. i know how tired you are and i feel your pain! :) It is frustrating b/c it just seems as though all he wants is a little "snuggle" with mommy and all you want is SLEEP!!!!! Unfortunaly this is part of it but remember "this too shall pass". It becomes habit for them the more/longer we give in to going into their rooms for the sake of our sanity. Sometimes its going through the hard parts for the short time for better results in the long run! (btw, i'm taking my own advice right now b/c my son 17 months has been congested and waking a lot) GOOD LUCK...REALLY, feel free to contact me for anything!
S.

Im having the EXACT same problem with my 14 month old!!! The crying it out thing didnt seem like it was working at first because he would cry anywhere from 30 minutes to over an hour but as long as hes not hurt or anything it gets better. Hes starting to cry for shorter periods of times and putting himself back to sleep. But I dont know what the problem is either :( What Ive been trying lately is when he starts to cry I let him cry for about 4 or 5 minutes and if he hasnt gone back to sleep yet (keep in mind mine is waking up 5-6 times a night) then I walk into his room and I dont say anything I just see if he lost his pacifier and if hes standing up I just lay him back down and leave the room. He screams when I leave but he sort of stops a few moments later and will usually fall back to sleep. Im sure this didnt help, but at least you know your not alone!! :)

I recently read an article on WebMD about how more and more people have become poor sleepers and it is often because when they were little, parents didn't give them the opportunity to learn to self-sooth. http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20080407/parents-may-...

So, I know this is not what you want to hear because I know how tired you are! And it is just a phase he is going through, because my kids all went through it (I have a 21 month old, so this wasn't so long ago and now she sleeps great). It is all about how active they are now becoming, some anxiety issues, teething, etc. A lot of changes are happening quickly. So first you want to be sure you have a soothing bedtime routine, which allows him to wind down and relax. And when he does wake up in the night, go ahead and soothe him, but ultimately put him back in his crib. And do it again, and again . . . and yes, he may just have to cry it out (you said it doesn't work, but for how long did you let him cry?).

Sorry, I'm not a big fan of bringing kids into the bed, although my reasons were somewhat selfish (I couldn't get any sleep because I was too aware of their noises and movements and was always afraid I'd roll over on them!). But in the end I think it has turned all of my kids into wonderful sleepers (the other two are 13 and 9).

Good luck! You will get some sleep again!

Dear J.:

My daughter was the same way with sleeping. I did the same thing you did, brought her to bed with me. You reach a point where you've just GOT to get some sleep.

We ended up letting our daughter sleep with us for a couple of months. America is about the only place in the world that doesn't co-sleep with small children, so we figured the rest of the world can't be completely wrong.

When our daughter got a little older we got a toddler bed and she WANTED to sleep on her own. (It didn't hurt that Daddy snored, so she wanted quiet!)

The bottom line is you've really got it rough being essentially a single parent. Stop beating yourself up about this. It's perfectly okay to bring him to bed with you. Everybody will be rested and happy.

My daughter is now a very happy, well-adjusted 13-year-old. The sleep thing was a phase for us and it will be for you, too.

L. F.

I am currently going through that with my 12 month old. He got up 3 x last night. Once at 10 then at 2:30 then at 4:30. When my husband was gone for 3 weeks he did the same thing about rocking him and screaming when I put him down. I did what you did and put himn in my bed. I think I have figured out that he has more teeth coming in. Try giving him some teething tablets before bed to see if that helps. Lately I have been going in there and giving him his binky and not saying a word to him. He seems to be going back to sleep. Good Luck to you. I hope the tablets help.

Crying it out does not necessarily work for all children. All children are different with different personalities and levels of stubborness. I used to say the cry it out method works, when i was discussing my first child. Now that i have had my second child and made him cry it out over several several several several occurences, i realize that it just is not going to work with him. I am talking about crying for 6-7 hours straight and not giving in. now he is two and still has random issues of waking up and i still try to make him cry it out. last time he woke up at four and wanted to get in my bed(which i personally dont ever want to give in to, only because i know i would never get him out) i went in covered him up, made sure he was okay and still warm, told him to go back to sleep, walked out and he cried until seven when i got him out of bed. he has done things like that for WEEKS on end without giving in an inch, so just because the cry it out method has worked for some kids does not mean it WILL work for others, so i am all about doing what you feel best to make sure that you can function to take care of your children. and my bet is its teeth.