Transitioning from Co-Sleeping to Crib

We gave our first son the boot at 11 months, and it really wasn't difficult. He had started wanting to play (with all those new skills of getting up and such) when it was time to go to sleep, so I put him in another room, and he was a little bewildered, but it worked. I had tried at 9 months and he didn't adjust so much, so tried again at 11 and it went fine. They are all different though, but it sounds like you'll definitely want to get it done.

At this spoint K. I think it will be difficult but you have to start sometime.Put him down in his crib as soon as he falls asleep. I fhe wakes of course go in and check on him but do not pick him up. I t wil follow this course for about 30 min. If he is still crying pick him up and start over. Usually in about 1-2 weeks they get the idea but you have to be persistant. I am a mother of 3 however I never did the co-sleeping thing. I do have a home daycare and I have a parent that is going thru the same thing and it has been a nightmare for me. She will not sleep in her crib during the day but for 30 min. I have several other children so I cannot "let her cry it out". I suggest no co-sleeping after 6 mo.
G.

IT IS POSSIBLE...but not entirely necessary. Is your husband opposed to co-sleeping? If so, then ease him into his crib first by telling him he is a big boy now that he is one year old and GETS TO HAVE his own big boy bed, then each night take him to his crib, tell him he must lay down while you read him his bedtime book(s), pray with him and put on a lullaby CD (we used Sleep Sound in Jesus for both our kids--but there are several other good soft lullaby CD's out there). After the book, you can let him put his hand in yours or rub his back if he lays on his stomach, or let him hold your finger (depends on what he prefers)...then after a couple minutes very quietly...if he's not already asleep, tell him, "Mommy is very tired and must get her sleep too, now"...GOODNIGHT" If he rises up and begins to cry...go to him,tell him is it important that he obey mommy and he must lay back down since it is time for sleep. Let him know you are there for him...but will not tolerate his disobeying you by getting up. Then walk out of the room. PLEASE DO CHECK ON HIM AT LEAST EVERY 10-15 minutes if he cries. My eldest's transition to her crib was difficult...and the first night that she awoke in her crib at 2am and cried my husband would not let me go to her. She finally consoled herself back to sleep and we went back to sleep...but in the morning I found that she had vomited all over herself, the bed, etc. She was not crying b/c she wanted attention...she NEEDED me. I FELT HORRIBLE!!!! I vowed NEVER to allow her to cry for me again more than a minute or two. She was fine from that point on. My husband was okay with us co-sleeping. However, my children usually played so hard during the day and only took one nap that they were glad to be able to lay down at bedtime. I did usually nurse mine to sleep at that age, though and then laid them down when they were just drifting off. BEST OF LUCK and tell you husband THANK YOUR FOR SERVING IN OUR MILITARY and FIGHTING for our FREEDOM and again TERRORISM. GOD BLESS HIM and you for being a faithful, supportive, caring wife and semi-single mom. YOU ARE TO BE PRAISED! Anne

It can be done and it can be done in three weeks -- we did it with two kids.

What we did was put baby in the crib and then check on him every 10 minutes while he cried. Before you start doing that at night, though, you might help make him more comfortable in the crib. Like put him in there while you're cleaning up in his room. Or if he takes naps somewhere else, move him to the crib for when he wakes up. We started doing stuff like that about a week before we moved him to the crib and he got more comfortable there.

Then when you start at night, talk it up and let him know you're close by by checking in every 10 minutes or so. I think co-sleeping is so great for babies to feel secure and that it will translate to their crib too. Good luck and enjoy your time...

K.,

The most difficult thing in the world, to me, is listening to my little one cry. We too co-sleep and are on the 17th month and going strong. My husband and I decided to co-sleep since our little guy is a nursing baby. We are going to the two year mark and will begin the transition process of converting him from our bed to the crib. At the 1 year mark, I moved his crib from our room into his nursery. He naps during the day and from 7pm until we go to bed at night. Then, I transition him into the bed with us. He is still in the night nursing mode, so it will be a while before I try leaving him in the crib when we go to bed at night.

Right now, he has a little dog we named from his favorite book "Skippy". Every time he goes to the crib, skippy comes with him, along with the same blankets. One blanket is rolled up to rest next to him and the other is a small blanket to place over the bottom half of his body for comfort.

I do not believe in 'let them cry it out'. Everytime someone tells me that, it brings one question to mind. "How would you feel if you were a little child in a dark room with shadows and unfamiliar noises and someone told you to cry it out?" If you ask any psychiatrist, they will tell you that comfort from a mother builds their trust and empathy towards others later on in life. Promise you, children who were left to cry it out are more apathetic than empathetic as adults.

Every habit that we try to build or break takes 14 days. You are telling your little one that he/she must change this habit of sleeping cozily with mommy and now, move into another room and sleep in a bed on his own. This will take the act of a strong willed mother sticking to her guns and at the same time be very empathetic in the process.

Children are comforted by their mothers nonverbal and verbal communication. You simply walking in the room starts to comfort the little one and then making comments in a comforting voice...I would recommend starting a process in the evenings..for example, bath time 1 hour prior to sleep, read the same book 10 minutes before going to bed, grab a stuffed animal (small), tell Daddy night night, and begin the bed time at the same time every night.
When he/she wakes up in the middle of the night, try comforting as much as possible (your own style). Lay down with the little one for a few minutes, if he/she gets back up, place back in the crib and say let's go night night...after a few minutes if this does not work, leave the room for a couple minutes, crying makes them sleepy within 2 minutes,then, go back in, place back in the crib and say again, let's go night night...if this does not work, make a place on the floor in the nursery and rest with your little one. Then, when they go back to sleep, place back in the crib. Make certain you have a night light in the room too. This will help the little one not be so scared when waking up in the new environment. It is going to disrupt your sleep for the first two weeks, but he/she will eventually know that this is my new 'habit' sleeping environment and I must get used to being here by myself at night.

Good luck!

yes you are a bit crazy to think you can do this but just stick with it and it will happen someday... or you will be like me and have a 5 year old in your bed every night! i did the co sleeping thing with my oldest b/c it was just me and her and man i regret that! there is not one night i dont get the bed to my self with my husband. put her in her crib let her cry for a bit.... she will if she hasnt calmed down after 10 mins go in pat her back let her calm down then leave the room... if shes still crying at 10 mins but calming down do not go in! good luck stay strong

Hi K.. I have a three year old and remember how HARD it was to let this cry out. I thought I would be a co-sleeper but it made me feel like a mommy and not a wife. I felt like my bed became about our son and not about me and my husband. If Jon had been away I might have felt different about it but I didn't. So we got my son in his crib right away. Does your baby nap in his crib? We would put him down to sleep in his crib and lay a hand on him and wait. and wait and wait. It took strength and consistency.

This (like potty training) is really about you. Have the strength to make it happen all the time like clock work. Stick to your guns. It is hard when your baby is getting all worked up until its sick. But we found that all the other families that questioned us had to go through it sooner or later.

you and your baby can do it.
K.

This worked for us. When the baby falls asleep at night put him in his crib. If he wakes up in the middle of the night nurse him back to sleep or give him a bottle in bed with you to get him back to sleep. Then when you wake up put him back in his crib so that he is going to bed and waking up in his crib. Pretty soon he will be sleeping through the night and won't know the difference. "Crying it out" never worked for us. It woke the baby up instead of putting him back to sleep.

From a fellow co-sleeping mom...
Every time he falls asleep for nap or whatever gently move him to his crib. He has been side sleeping with you I'm sure so lay him just a bit on his side and perhaps but a rolled up blanket on his back. He is used to sleeping warm next to you so make sure he has a blanket, adequate clothes on and his room is warm (but no too warm, lol).
I usually start moving them to their own bed when they sleep through the night without nursing. If he hasn't stopped a midnight feeding, you may want to start him off in the crib at night then move him back to the bed for his snack and let him stay till morning.
My dh got back a month ago and we are still co-sleeping the baby, though I was worried at first about the "alone time" and also for my dh rolling on him! But everything has gone smoothly and my dh enjoys having the baby so close. at the same time we have a pack in play by the bed to put the little one when we want to bed to ourselves. I hope something I have rambled on about has helped, good luck and YEAH for HOMECOMINGS!!!

Sleeping with your baby is normal. In most other countries around the world, co-sleeping is an unquestioned practice.

My first question for you is why do you feel that you should transition him to a crib? Is it because 1)your husband is coming home and you no longer want him in the bed with you, 2)your husband doesn't like the idea of co-sleeping, 3)you want that alone time with your husband after he's been away so long, 4)co-sleeping isn't allowing you to sleep...etc. etc. You must first realize why you want this transition.

There is an excellent book about co-sleeping that you might want to read. Sleeping with Your Baby by Dr. James McKenna. Many La Leche Leaque groups have this book in their library to checkout.

My husband was deployed to Iraq when I was pregnant up until our daughter was 5 months. About a month before he came home he told me I needed to get her to sleeping in the crib in her own room. He did not know anything about co-sleeping and wanted time with just me after being away for so long. I (having been a child that co-slept) saw much importance in continuing to co-sleep with our daughter. I told him how I felt and tried to explain to him why we co-sleep (easier to nurse, everyone gets more sleep, easier to monitor baby's needs, etc.). He still was not totally convinced, but after he came home night time became his favorite part of the day. Bed time is their best bonding time. He absolutely loves that she sleeps with us...I often find him just lying there staring at her as she sleeps, they play in the mornings, it is great! Our daughter is almost 2 now and still sleeps with us. My husband has told me numerous times how glad he is that we have a family bed. We all get sleep, if she is hungry she simply rolls over and nurses, which does not wake my husband at all, and wakes me just enough to roll over.

Ultimately you need to do whatever works best for your family, but try to figure out why you want him in his crib and do what you feel is right in your heart. Personally, I do not believe in the "crying it out" method. Crying is a baby's way of saying they need something, not a way to fall asleep.

I would like to respond to your problem. Are you planning to put him in a room by himself? I think that would be a bad thing to do. If you have room in your bedroom put his crib in there next to your bed,if he goes to sleep in the bed with you. When he goes to sleep put him in the crib and maybe you could put a big stuff animal in the crib. If he wakes up during the night just put your hand on him so he will know you are there. I don't like to put babies in a room by themself, I was afraid I would not here them if they needed me during the night.Call me old fashion that is what I am. PLEASE DON'T PUT HIM IN A ROOM BY HIMSELF.

My cousin's wife let their son sleep with her every time my cousin was deployed also. He was 4 before they we able to get him in his own bed and his own room, but they didn't start trying until he was 3. Here's what worked for them:
They put the crib in their room next to their bed. When he would sleep in it they moved it against the wall. Once that was acceptable they moved it toward the door. THey slowly moved it into the hall, then down the hall, then into his room. If you worry about hearing him in the night, use a baby monitor. Both my boys slept in a cradle in our room until they were about 4-5 mths old and then I moved them to the crib and their own room. We had a twin bed set up in the baby's room and I slept in it for a month or so until he was adjusted.

I think it's a little much to transition the baby from a bed to a crib in three weeks, but I was a real baby when it came to moving my kids to their own beds. If you have a convertable crib, what I did was covert it to a toddler bed (so remove the side rail on one side) and then raise it to the same height as my bed so it was flush with the bed. I made my daughter stay in the toddler bed, but she could reach out and touch me when she needed to and I could roll over to nurse her when I needed to. My bed was still my bed. Good luck, for some reason, this particular part of parenting was a difficult one for me. After listening to my son "cry it out" for an hour I threw up and brought him back into the bed. I just don't have the stomach for it. I have friends that use that method and it worked great for them, so it may be contigent on the mom/baby combo.

Good luck!