E.A. asks from East Providence, RI on February 01, 2007
Too Many Toys
I need to find a way to gently ask my family to stop buying sooo many toys for my kids. We live in a small apartment and generally believe that the more toys a kid has the less they play with. We are continually giving away toys to salvation army, etc but that's not the solution I'm looking for. I have asked in the past for them to not buy my daughter clothes and stuffed animals because she gets plenty of hand me down clothes and she has enough animals to start her own zoo, but that doesn't seem to stop anyone. When it comes to Christmas or a birthday I feel okay asking for specific things the kids need (i.e. shoes, socks, underwear, etc) but it seems like for some of our relatives every day is a gift giving holiday. How do I get the point across to stop buying them things that they just don't need?
So What Happened?™
I would like to thank everyone for all of the wonderful suggestions. Here's what we're planning to do...We are going to tell everyone that they are allowed to buy each child ONE gift and if they see something that they just 'have to get' then that toy will be kept at their house to be played with when the kids come to visit. I think this will work. It's gentle but clear. Thank you again. MOMS ROCK!!!
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A.L. answers from Boston on February 01, 2007
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A.L. answers from Boston on February 01, 2007
My advice would be to start a college fund, make it be known and then when birthdays/Christmas comes around let people know that this would be so much more appreciated by Ellie and Michael when they are older whereas the gifts will be long forgotten. Good luck.
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H.D. answers from Providence on February 08, 2007
hi E. my daughter is 8 and i have asked my family mostly my 23 year old sister to stop buyin the loud toys that go off in the middle of the night and she wouldnt and still hasnt ..when she had her first little girl i did the adult thing and it was pay back time:) i did it to her it was a guatar(cant spell) so she was mad and she said ur mean i said erica i will do contune to do it as long as u do and she stopped
thats what i am telling you to do
H.
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C.R. answers from Portland on February 01, 2007
I have always said -a toy in a toy out. I have 4 kids and in the beginning lived in a small apt. organization was key, and kids really gravitate towards 2-3 toys, the rest they forget-but i don't, good will here they come, or i gave them to the nursery at my church-or day care centers LOVE them. I felt a little guilty about it because they were gifts from family members but i decided they were sharing with the community and helping others, so ehh-no one really remembers what toys they have given you anyway. Good luck. I know how out of hand it can get...
P.D. answers from Bangor on February 03, 2007
Hi E.,
I HAD the same problem..until I started telling them that there are so many toys here that I'm running out of room...so from now on what they buy stays at their house, so the kids can enjoy their toys there, and know that it is from them...it worked, they don't buy as much now, knowing that the mess is staying at their house :)
M.K. answers from Boston on February 02, 2007
This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart! From the time my son was born my husband and I respectfully requested that our family members only give ONE gift during a birthday or any other holiday. If they felt that they didn't spend enough $$, they are more than encouraged to make a deposit into his college fund or savings account. My side of the family complies with this, in fact loves that 'rule' and on my husbands everyone but my mother in law complies (both of my sister-in-laws wish that they would have thought of it!!!!) and every year I she pouts for months and tells everyone who will listen (including me!) that I ruin her Christmas/Easter/halloween/4th of July/President's day! This year I did threathen (not an empty threat, mind you) that I will ask my son to choose his gift that he would like to keep from Nana and I will donate the rest to toys for tots. A little mommy dearest, but it worked!
Also, about every season I go through my son's toys with him and we bag up the toys he has outgrown and bring them to children who aren't as fortunate as he his. He is only two and a half and he actaully puts real thought into what he is giving away and the last time put his favorite 'momo' into the bag!
Good luck, this is not an easy situation and based on all the responses you have gotten, it's not an uncommon problem!
C.E. answers from Boston on February 01, 2007
E., Gosh, I wish I had an answer for this, as we have the same xact problem here. I have a 5yr old and a almost 2yr old. We literally have thousands of dollars worth of toys here! NO kidding! Stuffed animals? I have had to put up the mesh thingys on the wall just to contain them all! ugh!
I have asked the family not to buy anymore stuffed animals or big toys, but that doesnt deter them at all. My only solution has been to keep giving to goodwill!
Good luck and let me know if you come up with something that works!
C.D. answers from Boston on February 02, 2007
I encountered this problem too. We have four kids and the relatives were nice enough to give gifts to all the children on each child's birthday as well as to the bday child! I finally had to take each adult aside and convince them that it was taking away from the special-ness of the occasion if there was too many gifts. I then progressed the conversation into the please-only-one-gift-each, which has yet to be observed by one set of grandparents, so I've scored a victory on three sides!
I feel so wasteful because as you say, the more toys they have the less they play with!
L.C. answers from Portland on February 01, 2007
Has all your family been to your house? If they haven't then they really don't know that you don't have room for the everyday gifts they are buying. Have them over show them around. And if that doesn't work then don't have your kids open the gifts and give them back and just let them know you don't have room and they should give the gifts to someone that doesn't have so many.
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