Toilet Fear

Rosemarei, I have the same problem with my 3 yr old son, he has been going pee in the potty for a little while now, but when it comes to pooping in the pottyl, he freaks out, and enstead of just ignoring his request for a pull up i eventually give in, b/c i dont want him to start "holding it in" and then have an even bigger problem. I bought him the little seat that goes over the reg toilet and we have sat on it a couple of times to show him that he wont fall in, but it has not sunk in yet...needless to say it can be frusterating, but when i ask other friends about their potty training with their sons, they say they went through similar things and thatt the child will go on the potty when he is "ready". So good luck, i know how you feel
C.

Are they sure it's a "fear" and not the child controlling the situation. By that age he should understand that better and I wonder if he is more comfortable doing that in a pull-up and that's how he gets his way. He knows the pull-ups are there and he'll get one. If they aren't there and mom and dad don't give in and give him one, he can't hold it forever. He's gonna have to go. Obviously if he can ask for a pull-up to do his thing he knows exactly what he's doing.

I agree with Mary, I would try one of the little potty training seats that fit on top of the toilet. It's small for his small tushy and he should feel safer. =)

~S.~
Mom to 4 boys... 3 potty trained, one to go ;-)

My son did the same thing. He was great peeing on the potty but asked for a pull up when he had to poop. This went on for a while. He just all of a sudden one day said "mommy I have to poop on the potty" and from that day on he hasn't used a pull up at all. He is 3 1/2. My doctor said 3 1/2 was actually the average age for boys to be potty trained and he said it was normal to be afraid. So, I think he will eventually get over the fear and do it on his own. Good luck.

Yes, my daughter was "afraid of poop", so she would pee in the potty fine but had to poop in a diaper. 5 seems too old for this to still be going on, though. I recommend talking to a parenting consultant, such as those at the Elizabeth Blackwell Center in Columbus. Good luck!

My son would never, and to this day, (he's 12), won't use a public toliet.
He would be so timely as to go poop prior to the beginning of a school day.
He would be disengaged during the day, and use the toliet numerous times from
1st through 4th grade, because he simply could not sit on a toliet.
His dad was the same. My dad is the same.
Every toliet has to be familiar and completely impecable physically prior to his using
it.
We never went through diaper that long........he was normal as that went, but
he would hold himself to the point of utter discomfort. It has to be a verbal conversation.
Teach him to use women's restrooms, which are generally, cleaner,.
He may be intimidated by grown men or the size of toliets as well as their lack of cleanliness.
My son literally will NOT use a restroom he has a problem with, still, so, we accomodate his tastes.
I can't solve your problem, only let you know that this is a reality for many boys and MEN.
I also taught him the same habits that I did my girls, to put toliet paper on the seats before sitting down.......however, he never actually sits, even on the TP.
Better to be safe than sorry.

Maybe he watched something that made him afraid...My niece was afraid of the toilet after Cat in the Hat came out. They had the toilet with flames coming out and it scared her. If he is afraid to get flushed down maybe you could use a portable potty seat or a potty chair for him to make bm's so doesn't feel like he can fall in the toilet. Explain to him that he can't fit down the hole. Good luck!

R.,
You might try one of the potty training rings that fit on the toilet seat itself then you can show him there is no way he can be flushed down. I remember my niece went through he same thing.
Good Luck
M.

The best choice is to request that he go potty before he leaves home. That not being foolproof, keep these thoughts in mind, many of which were not an issue when Grandma was growing up. 1) It may be his way to control the situation 2) Are you the only female that he has to go into the ladies room with, when he is out and about? 3) Has he seen Cat in the Hat or other films with scary toiltets? 4) Are there automatic flushing toilets anywhere he has been? 5) Are the toilets he is scared of using filthy or too large for him to use (not a child size, like at a Children's Museum)?
I ask this because my daughter had issues from a young age which ended up causing UTIs and constipation because she was scared of self flushing toilets. If you sit still on them too long, the automatic flushing device thinks you are gone and flushes. We learned to put a piece of toilet paper over the sensor on the wall, while we weere covering the seat anyway. FYI: Many, many kids will urinate fine but refuse to have BMs on the toilet for some time afterwards.

My Grandson had the same problem. He is just fine now with it. I think they just out grow it. He is 5 years old as well. Hang in there he will be fine
M.