Toddlers Will Not Stay in Their Bed

Updated on August 08, 2008
C.S. asks from Denton, TX
15 answers

Moms, I need your help. I have 2 year old twins who have been sleeping in their own rooms since they were 10 months old. They also have been in their toddler beds for 3 months. My daughter continues to get out of bed when we put her down around 8:00. She will do this for about an hour (during this time, my husband and I take her back to her bed). That is not my only problem, both of them have been waking up and wandering into our room during the night. I know that I am guilty because, I put them in bed with us, which has led to several arguments with my husband. I have tried putting them back in their beds, but they always end up in our bed. If you have any advice, please share. I am about to go back to work and need to get some sleep.

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R.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hey I'm sorry I actually don't have any advice about the twins (I can't get my 4yr old outta my bed) But, I was wondering how did you go about getting into real estate. I am a teacher as well, and was interested in getting into reality part time.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like you are doing the right thing taking them back to bed (at 8pm). In the middle of the night, you have to do the same thing. Tips: Don't get into a conversation w/them. I've heard you're not supposed to say anything after the second time they come out, just take them back to bed (but it's hard for me to keep my mouth shut, so we always said "It's bed time. Good night" as we walked her back to her room.

If you feel your child is old enough to understand, try this: decide what your child's currency is and take something away if he/she gets out of bed. Give a warning first. For my daughter, it is usually stuffed animals. After she comes out of bed a second time, we say "If you come out again (for no reason), we are taking "teddy bear". There were nights when we had to take 4 or 5 animals. Sometimes she got upset and there were tears, but she started staying in bed. :) (Tip: Don't take the #1 "lovey" if have other currency that will get the point across.)

A good night time routine helps too. If we rush bed time and don't give enough one-on-one time for quiet play or bed time stories, she seems to come out more. If all goes well before bed time, I think she's more content.

I hope this helps.

For safety, we put baby gates on our child's room. That way, she could get out of bed and play in her room (early in the morning), but she couldn't get out/into any unsafe things in the house. We still used the baby monitor to hear her and know she was okay/playing.

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D.R.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like you are doing everything right except for the giving in part :-)
When they get up you take them back to bed and tell them that they have to sleep in their own bed for whatever reason seems appropriate to you.
I would usually say because you are a big girl/boy now, (I have 4 children who are all now grown, sending my last one off to college next week)!
This will take about a week of interrupted sleep because every time they get up you have to take them back,(you will need hubby's help on this one).
After about a week they will figure out that you are not giving in and they will stay put at least for the most part, (nightmares, illness etc...)
I am sure you are doing this but make sure you have a bedtime routine that never changes, bat, story, song etc... so the separation anxiety is lessened.
This always worked for me.
Good Luck!

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I feel your pain! I put a baby gate across my daughter's bedroom door way when she was first in her toddler bed and getting up at night. I actually turned around her door knob and now at 3, if she does not stay in her room at nap time, I lock the door then go back up and open it once I believe she has falled asleep. I don't like locking it, but I know that her bedroom is safe, and she is not safe wandering around the house if I am in another part of the house and do not hear her get up. Good luck to you!
A.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

My 2 yr old was doing the exact same thing during the night. We finally went ahead and bought him a full size mattress (more comfortable) and this seemed to make a huge improvement. Occassionally, he'll still sneak in bed w/ us some nights, but for the most part, it has worked!!

Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

You could throw up a couple of baby gates, one on top of the other (my two year old can scale one, no problem.... that, or a dutch door, with the top open and the bottom part shut (and locked, if they can open the door).

Either way - it's not completely closed, you can still hear them - but they can't escape.

S.

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P.B.

answers from Tyler on

Be CONSISTANT. Put them back in their beds EVERY time they come to your room in the night.

Yes, it is easier when you are half asleep, but you will get more sleep in the long run if you teach them to stay in their own beds.

My sister and I both agreed that we should say, "This is not [child's name]'s bed; this is Mommy and Daddy's bed." (say as you lead the child out of your room). "THIS is [child's name]'s bed." (say as you put the child into own bed).

Be consistant. Be consistant. Be consistant.

Good luck. :o)

Blessings,

P. <><

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

I suggest looking at the kids' underlying needs and your goals. Are they getting enough time with you during the day? Do they feel safe? Do they have enough room in their beds? Are they needing contact and comfort? If your goal is to have uninterrupted sleep in bed with your husband, than putting a mattress on the floor at the bottom of your bed could give you that and give your kids the chance to be closer to you. They can come in and sleep on the mattress until morning.

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C.L.

answers from Dallas on

I am a nannie of twins who are now 5. My son and daughter-in-law had this problem with them coming into their room at night one or both at times to sleep with them. After switching from them sleeping with them on occasion like that, they finally put a pallet down by their bed and they would sleep there after waking from their bed. It seems it is a comfort thing more so for twins. This at least allows them their comfort, you some sleep, and they are not in the bed with you. They will outgrow it; I'm not sure what age as probably it is different for each set of twins.

I don't know if this helps any but that's my two cents! Lols

I will also add my son and dil are great parents and very good disciplinarians. They worked and worked on putting them back in their beds, but this worked for them as it wasn't every night, just once in a while. The boys even at the other grandparents house sometimes slept on pallets by their bed. I think this was ages 2-3.

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J.Y.

answers from Dallas on

I second what she said! (lol) I know how hard it is to take thme back to their room at night, but it really is the best thing - Especially if it's going to cause trouble in your bedroom! ;)

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Have you thought about using baby door gates? It does keep the kid in the room and not in your bed. It sounds as if your husband is NOT liking having the little ones in HIS bed. You do have to think about that. As others have said follow a routine and do it. If the kids do get up PUT them back to bed, if need be close the door on them so they stay in the room (have the baby gate on the outside of the door so that they stay in). You need to stop feeling guilty about this and be firm or tough love. What you do now will reflect in what you do with them in the future. With all that you have going on in your life you need your rest uninterrupted. Good luck to you. The other S.

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

The other moms have given you great advice. Put them back to bed without any reward (i.e., kisses, hugs, conversation). It will be harder on you in the short term but better in the long term. Something else that worked for our daughter was to tell her that we would check on her in 5 minutes, but only if she stayed in bed. We both kept our promises. She was typically out within 15 minutes of us putting her to bed. Good luck!

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J.E.

answers from Dallas on

put a babby gate at their door and tell them they have to stay in the bed but if they get up they can only stay in their room. If they fall asleep on the floor by the gate no big deal mine did all the time. or go for a bigger bed my youngest Hated the toddler bed we got her a full size and that took care of it.

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Reverse the lock on their bedroom doors. And lock them in their rooms at night. That's what a doctor told a friend my mine many years ago.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with the other mommas. You need to do the same thing in the middle of the night that you do at bedtime. We have used the technique taught by Super Nanny on our daughter, and will with our son too. Basically, after the first time out of bed regardless of what time it happens, you take them back to bed, tuck them in and leave - no talking, no hugs, no kisses - all those things are rewards in their eyes. You have to be consistent and stick to your guns. Everytime you give in you tell them it's ok to get up and climb into bed with Mommy & Daddy.

Good luck - you can do it!

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