Toddler Won't Sleep Alone

Updated on January 20, 2008
C.T. asks from Spokane, WA
6 answers

Hello, I have a 3 year old who has hardly ever sleep through the night let alone on her own. She has most always sleep with me (she did have a 6 week period where she was sleeping in her bed all night long) but she got sick and I put her in bed with me now she wakes up 2 to 6 times a night and comes in my room.. most nights I go put her back in her bed and stay with her until she falls asleep (so do I for awhile) then I go back into my room only to have her come get me a couple hours later. I lay with her at night after stories and then go into my room a couple hours later (after I wake up). I LOVE her sleeping with me but she is getting to big and my husband isn't a big fan of it, and therefore we never get any time to ourselves. Any idea's would be so apprciated.

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J.B.

answers from Bellingham on

Have you read "No Cry Sleep Solution"? We found it to be a very helpful book from day one. A friend of mine was having the same issue with her 3 year old and said she used the same book.
Good Luck!

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

I do not have advice per say, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Just persistance of letting them know that they need to sleep in their own bed. Taking them back to their own bed Every time they come in. That helped cure previous kids. It just seems that once they find their security and their routines and your follow through, it will become habit for them to stay in bed.

My husband comes from a big family and we have one too. He's a nuturer and now he even brings crying babes to sleep with us. We have six boys and one girl.

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C.D.

answers from Spokane on

hi there... we experienced the same thing with our son and we purchased a childs sleeping bag at a sporting good store and set it up, on a blanket, on the floor, next to "mom's" side of the bed. he was told he was more than welcome to come into our bedroom, he just wasn't aloud to get into our bed or to wake "mom" up... he needed a little help at first but after a while he would just come in the room and climb in the bag... after a couple of weeks of that, i think he realised how much more comfy he was in his own bed and chose to stay there. might be worth a try... the sleeping bag was 10 bucks and we still use it when we travel.

good luck. c.

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N.C.

answers from Seattle on

Both my boys slept through the night in their own rooms just fine, and then at 2 1/2 decided it was nicer to have Mommy with them all night. We sat down and talked with them about it, and then did not allow them to come into our room at night. I am a fairly light sleeper, and the pitter patter of feet in the hallway was enough to wake me, so I was able to jump up and put them right back in bed before they even reached our room. I did not stay with them, just put them in bed, and pulled their covers over them. It only took about three nights before they stopped coming in. It was rough three nights, but it was well worth it in the end... we all sleep better now.
You might have bit of a rougher go of it if this has been allowed for most of her life, but I bet if you were firm about it for a couple of weeks, she would get the idea.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

We had the same issue. Co-sleeping is great until you don't get any sleep anymore huh? I resorted to putting up a baby gate on my toddlers bedroom door. She can see through it so it doesn't feel like a trap, but when she wakes up it's not so easy to go roaming. My husband gets up for work about 5:30 a.m. and takes it down - so she is free to come up and snuggle in the wee hours of the morning. Funny thing is, she never got upset about it - it just reminds her to go back to sleep because it's more work to get to your room.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

First, the longer you wait to change the sleeping pattern, the harder it will be. I too am all for family bed until they get too big. The key is consistency. My daughter got so good at getting in our bed, I wouldn't wake up until four and then couldn't get back to sleep because she was kicking me and making me hot. I got to the point of locking our door so she would have to knock to come in. I would then quietly and with little fuss, walk her back to her bed. Lay her down and sit if necessary, stay until she's back to sleep. You have to be ready to keep this up until she gives up. It took our six year old almost a year because she's stubborn and we had other causes for sleep disturbance.
Take turns with your husband as to who gets up. It may help to explain to her before she goes to bed what will happen when she gets up at night. You may try rewards for staying in her bed every night for a week. The drawback is that she may then do it for a week but then stop.
Good luck,
M.

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