4 Year Old with 'Strange' Sleeping Habits

Have you tried playing some soothing bedtime music. We started doing this during 4th of July to try to drown out some of the firework noise for our youngest. Where we live you can do them 10 days prior and 10 days after the 4th! Lucky us! Anyway, we had a child's tape player from our older daughter and we started putting her bedtime tape in it and now she falls to sleep with no problems. In fact, the batteries died in the player and we really haven't made it our first priority to replace them because she never complains about it.

Another thought, perhaps he's a sleep-walker and that's why he's getting out of bed. Just a thought.

Good Luck to you and hopefully you'll find something that works!

Good Morning D., have you thought he maybe sleep walking and not know he isn't in his bed when you find him in the morning? My brother used to sleep walk, once dad found him walking in the hall way, didn't know if he had been outside coming in or going outside. He wasn't pretending, he was 8 and in his underwear :)

When a sleep walker does wake up there is some confusion and they just lay down where they are. No idea how to check it out unless you stay up and watch a few nights.

Good Luck D.
K. Nana of 5

This isn't that unusual. I did it when I was about your son's age. Now, my 5-year-old refuses to sleep in his bed. (Like your kid, he wanted to wander the house after lights-out.) Many times, he would take his sheets and blankets and stuffed animals and makes a nest for himself on the floor. We tried everything we could think of but after awile, told him he would be allowed to sleep on the floor but he had to stay in his bedroom. That finally did the trick. He's stays in his bedroom and sleep on the floor. He still gets about 10 hours of sleep a night, so I guess he just likes it there. We'll keep his bed in his room for now, in case this is something he grows out of (I did.)

I dont know if this is an option, but I'd consider putting a sturdy baby gate in front of his door so he can't leave his room at night. Or, as in our house, one at either end of the hallway, so he can go to the bathroom and his room only. Good luck!

I would just check on him before you go to bed, and if he isn't in bed, move him to his bed. He will get used to it eventually and probably stay there.

One of my aunt's sons did this when he was younger and she was afraid that he would hurt himself so they put a hook and eye lock on the top of the outside of his door. It prevented him from opening the door. Your son is probably laying there awake until he hears you go to bed. You should "check" on him before he goes to bed and see if he is asleep. If he's not you should talk to him about staying in his room. My niece slept under her bed for several years because she was used to sleeping under a bunk and didn't like not having it over her when she got her own room. You can lock him in the room for several months until he realizes that he's not going to be able to get out. I know you are probably thinking it is cruel, but with my aunt it worked great. After about six months they didn't have to use the lock anymore. It may take a couple of days for him to get used to it, but end the end he'll learn not to leave his room.
On a funny note, either he is really really quiet to wonder thru the house at night or ya'll are really hard sleepers. I wake up every time our kiddos get up and open their doors, even just to go to the bathroom. Good luck and God Bless.

D.,

It can be frustrating when you have one that does something that seems out of the normal - have you thought about buying one of the on top of the bed tents for him? Also we tuck pillows around our 4 year old granddaughter so she doesn't feel like she is in a great big bed alone (it's only a twin!)

Good luck - N.

I feel that locking him in his room is a safety issue, how would he get out in an emergency, you can't always get to them. I wonder if he's scared being on a different level than his parents, he's first in line if someone breaks in.
The suggestion about music in his room is good, but I would get a noise machine. I have an alarm clock that will play different sounds to block out other sounds (crickets, waves), my grandkids would only take a nap here if the crickets were on to block out other sounds in the house. He probably keeps himself awake listening to what you are doing until he hears you go up the stairs, thats when he makes his move. Ask him why he doesn't like his bed and where he'd rather sleep. If he picks an inappropriate place tell him thats not a good option, choose another.

My sister did this for a while (sometime between ages 4 and 6). It would freak my parents out, because there were a few times that they had a hard time finding her. One time they found her inside of our toy box in the play room. She had taken all of the toys out of the box and climbed in it. Another time she was between the couch and the wall in the living room. She was under the bed alot. One time they found her asleep on our enclosed porch under a chair. They thought she was sleep walking. She, later in life, told me that she would wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep. So she would get up to play and would fall asleep.

They wound up putting her in the same room with me and that pretty much stopped it. They got us bunk beds and she slept on the bottom. So now I sometimes wonder if it was the need she felt to be enclosed, when I look at some of the places where she would be found. A bunk bed kind of has that feel to it when you sleep on the bottom of it. She had me in the room and had the enclosed feeling and it made her feel safe.

My daughter likes to go under the bed or comes in the room with me. Same type of thing.

Something to think about. Good Luck!

THis is not unusual for some kids. If you do not want him to sleep in the bathroom close the door, check on him in the middle of the night and just keep putting him back in the bed. My son did the same thing and continues to do it today and he is now 14yrs. old. It really is nothing to worry about. Just because his bed is comfortable to you doesnt mean that it is to him. He will eventually sleep in a bed, but now he probably sleep walking or trying to get comfortable. Yes, of course, he sleeps in the bed when someone is in it with him, probably because he feel secure, but it's nothing to worry about. Trust me I have tried all kind of beds for him and he just continues to sleep all over the place.

Does he have a lovey or something? About 4 was when my daughter began being "scared" when she was alone in her room. I've never really had a problem laying down with her to get her to sleep, and I've found that often on the nights I do that, she falls asleep very quickly, but on the nights I don't, she's often up very late. If it were me, I'd be more worried about how much sleep he got than where he slept. Maybe you could make a place for him to sleep somewhere else (right around 4 we had a pile of blankets in our room that our daughter was welcome to come sleep on, as long as she fell asleep in her room in the beginning of the night), so you're not so worried (but then, who knows, maybe he wouldn't go there). I guess, basically, I've found with sleep with kids you have to think outside the box, what works for one kid won't necessarily work for another, and just because you've never heard of it being done doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Listen to your son, he'll likely lead you to a solution!

K.

Do you have a dog or a cat?? Some warm body that might sleep with him? His sibling, do they share a room? My son 4 yrs old does not like to sleep alone. Before he was potty trained we used to baby gate him in his room with the dog. Sounds cruel, I know but, if we didn't he would wonder or end up in bed with us every night!! Now his little brother shares the room with him, it seems better. They do not share a bed because of his younger brothers health problems but it seems to help just having him in the room. Good luck!

What we did was to make our son's room "safe" (no cords, hurtful items, etc.) and then he was latched into his room at night ... so he couldn't get out and wander around. First few nights, he cried when his door wouldn't open, and he wanted to get out, but he quickly got used to it ... wasn't much alternative. Then, we didn't need to latch because he got used to sleeping/staying in his bed.

Whatever you feel comfy with of course, but it worked for us.

My 3 year old doesn't alway like to sleep in her bed either. For us this is more of a nap time issue then a nighttime issue. I let tell her that she can sleep on the couch occationally. When I was little, we had a wonderful recliner that we would sleep in sometimes when we were restless or sick. Maybe he just needs a little bit of a scenery change every once in a while. Also if he is having nightmares, there might be something in his room that is scaring him. Does he have stuffed animal or something that he sleeps with? Try to figure out why he doesn't like his bed. It might have absolutely nothing to do with the bed itself but something else in his room. Try asking him as he is going to bed instead of when he wakes up. I hope this helps.

Hi D.! I also have an almost 4 year old that I find in the hallway once in a while in the middle of the night and once on the couch. Like other mothers have said just make sure that he cannot get into anything that can harm him or get outside, he should be fine as long as he is sleeping, just put him back in bed if you want.
The other thing that was mentioned is sleepwalking. That could be possible too I know I did it A LOT when I was a toddler to about 6 years old and would wake up in different parts of the house all the time. If my parents found me up roaming they would NOT WAKE me (do not wake up sleepwalkers even if they seem like they are awake they may not be remember that part) but lead me to the bed or if they found me somewhere they would just make sure I was safe and/or comfortable or just put me back in bed. It passed in my case as I grew up but I know it runs in the family here my grandmother was a sleepwalker until she died.
Good luck and good day!

Have you tried putting a baby gate in the doorway of his bedroom? He could open the door and see out, but couldn't get out (unless he figures out how to climb it). Put a baby monitor near his room, that way you can hear him if he tries to climb or if he starts throwing a fit about not being able to roam around. This may sound like a harsh thing to do, but think of it as a safety issue. He could get into anything while you're asleep.

My son is 4 1/2 and we will wake up 3-4 nights a week with him in another part of the house, usually the couch in the living room or our room. I agree with the mom that said to have a couple of places for him to move to. My son doesn't like his bed either so he usually goes to sleep on the floor of his room. We keep a blanket and pillow on the floor at the foot of our bed and he knows that he can use those if he needs to. As long as he getting sleep and you know that he is inside the house, I wouldn't be too worried about it.

D.,
Don't feel alone, my son did his from age 2 until 5. I just made sure I dressed him in warm pjs in the winter. My son could never explain it and then I discovered that it is a type of sleepwalking. Don't let it bother you, it will pass.

Good luck,
D.

One of my daughters did this, and weirdly enough, she said it was because there was a :giant turtle: under her bed. She didn't like the bed.
*sigh* I figured out that if I used 'monster spray', ( water in a spray bottle) before bed time that she felt safe and would then stay in her bed.

I don't know why your son doesn't like his bed, maybe you could try to get more details. But until you do find out and work on a solution, maybe keeping a baby monitor in his room so you can hear if he gets up and leaves the room at night. Or some kind of silent alarm attached to his door that would trip when he leaves his room. Kids can sleep darn near anywhere and still get proper rest,but it could be dangerous for him to wander the house when everyone else is sleeping.

Hi, D.. I am wondering if your son just wants to be closer to you. My son sleeps upstairs and we are on the main level, and 80 percent of the time he is in the chair next to our bed in the morning. It is so frustrating. Maybe if you can reward him for sleeping the whole night in his bed, or put something of yours he can keep in his room as a comfort measure. This is a tough one. We have yet to succeed with our son, but once school gets in full swing, he will be exhausted and sleep through the night in his room. He is 8. My son has fears about things happening at night, and he feels safer by us. Your son may have similar thoughts. Good Luck and God Bless.

I had completely forgotten that my daughter used to do this until I read your post. She said she was afraid when in her bed. For some reason 'camping' on her floor made her feel safer. I would lay a sheet on the floor & put her sleeping bag on top w/her pillow. When it was bedtime, I would read her stories in her bed, then I would read the last book on the floor & after I zipped her in her sleeping bag. It made her feel safe. She also had ALL her stuffed animals surrounding her sleeping bag to protect her. She did this for 1 year. The benefit of this was that she felt safe, she WAS safe, & she never had to make her bed! :-) In the morning, I would roll up her sleeping bag, fold the sheet & tuck both under her bed in a plastic bid. She would throw her pillow & stuffed animals on the bed & I also taughter her to make her bed every morning. Again, be sure to rule our sleepwalking, but it sounds like this is a normal thing at this age. Good luck!