Toddler Hitting - Rockford,IL

I think both ways needs to be implemented.

First of all teach your child to stand up to the hitter and say
"We do not hit, use your words"

"I do not like it when you hit."

"I will not play with you if you hit."

Then tell your child if the hitter keeps hitting to come and get you "after she has tried to stop the hitter".

Then get both of the children together and
ask your child, "What happened?"..

Your child "She hit me"
You ask "What did you tell her about hitting?"

Your child "we do not hit" or, " I do not like it when you hit" or I will not play with you when you hit."

Then you ask the hitter." Did you understand what she said?" "Are you going to stop hitting?"

Depending on the answer, thank them for using their words and tell them to play fair without hitting. Or Tell the hitter, "daughter says she is not going to play with you anymore because you keep hitting. "

The parents are dreaming - adults barely "work it out" - toddlers aren't capable of "working it out between themselves". I don't think the kids have to all be punished, but "no hitting" and rules of polite play need to be reinforced every time. If they won't do it, you go for it.

Another view point...if no one sees, are you 100% sure your child is telling the truth? Has anyone asked the other child IF they hit? And if so, why?

I think you are well within your right to ask the other child in an attempt to keep yours safe.

Remember that most children hit because they are frustrated by not being able to communicate their feelings/words. Maybe find another playmate until that child has grown a bit?

Good luck,

Hitting or other aggressive behavior is hard to stop, especially if the other parents aren't interested in intervening. I agree with Laurie A's suggestions.

Sorry your daughter is dealing with this aggravation – my gentle grandson has a ferociously active, year-older "friend" apparently on the autism spectrum. That boy's frazzled mom just would not or could not stay on top of her son's constant aggressiveness, so during visits, my grandson pretty much stays within sight of his mom or other adult so he'll have some protection if needed.

If my daughter was playing with a "hitter" than I would monitor them playing and would not let them play alone. Period. Then when the other child hits either you or her parent can discipline her. I'm sure her parents wouldn't want you disciplining her but if her parents aren't around you can surely tell her that hitting is not nice.

Some of you may disagree but, I've told my child after this has happened numerous times with other kids and the parents not being very responsive about it, to tell the parents and then hit the hitter back... once, that happens the hitter knows how it feels to be hit and it will stop. That's how you nip it in the bud. :-)