Ok So i kind of got a promotion at work. I work for a large wholesale club at the member service desk. I often get sworn at ( for having to wait in line during the busy xmas season) or just have to put up with very rude women. ( men usually arent bad at all ). So my promotion would involve working behind the scenes. Absolutely no customer contact whatsoever. I will also mention that I work to carry health insurance ( hubby is self employed and insurance for a family of four STARTS at $800+ per month ).
The problem with the job is its only a modest raise in my paycheck and it would require me sending the kids to daycare 2 days a week. It would be half days, but I have found that it is VERY expensive for 2 kids. I have researched a number of options ( home and business daycare ) and the only option that will take both my kids on the same days is of course the more expensive place.
Sorry this is getting long winded.
So essentially my entire paycheck would be paying just for daycare. My hubby would have to pick up the tab on the few bills we have each month.
Would you take the position because it is A) a stepping stone B) my mental sanity will be greatly affected
or would you not because of the financial strain it would put on the family?
I am torn. My mind says dont take it and suck it up and work the crappy hours and deal with ignorant people... but another part of me is saying this is the perfect opportunity that may not come up again in awhile!!!!!
EDIT: ok there were a few questions that were brought up:
I have tried a few home daycares- they were all unable to accept my 8 month old. I will not do a home daycare without a recommendation from a friend or family member. I have contacted so many daycares within reasonable driving distance and either they dont have the right days available or cant take one of the kids.
My son is going to be starting preschool in march so the expensive center took that into consideration and lowered the price starting in march for when he moves to the new classroom. The price i was quoted included a sibling discount.
Our budget is going to be tight and since my husbands work generally slows down in the winter months I am just affraid of arguing when things get tight. I dont bring the job home with me but I work crazy evening and weekend hours and am very tired all the time. I would be able to eat dinner with my family and put the kids to bed at night. I have also gone into the bathroom at work and cried after someone has berrated me over not being able to return an item 2 years old or no receipt, etc. I dont know why I let it get to me.. but I do.
sounds like the pros to taking the position outweigh the cons. i'd take the position. you can keep looking for more affordable daycare (and good for you for not compromising on standards there) or ways to cut the family budget, but if you are less stressed it will have a positive effect on everyone.
khairete
S.
Just a thought from a different angle, any chance hubs can rearrange his schedule to cover those two half days? That would solve the problem AND save money!
See if you can get a local college girl to come and sit with the kids. You can probably pay her $10/hr for the two kiddos, they'll be in their own home, and you can minimize on the schedule disruption.
I've done this with both my kiddos and it worked out well. There are always
girls looking to pick up a few hours between classes for spending money.
Good luck!
It sounds like the quality of life for you, specifically, and for your family, might improve if you took the promotion. You would be less stressed at work, it sounds like, and better rested at home and better able to "be there" and participating with the little kids.
On the other hand, you would likely be somewhat more stressed about $, so that could outweigh the benefits of the less stressful job.
Have you talked to your DH? Is he saying "It's up to you"?
If this is a stepping stone, however, to better job opportunities, and you can financially swing it without too much burden/anxiety added, then it sounds like this is the way to go.
I'd go with daycare because
(a) The cost should decrease over time as the kids get older, and you might be able to find a less expensive option at that point as well.
(b) You'll probably get occasional pay increases over time, so the financial stress will eventually lessen.
(c) It sounds like your current job is no good for your emotional state, which means it's no good for your kids and husband either.
(d) The daycare is only two half days a week, which doesn't amount to a lot of time in the grand scheme of things (in terms of kids away from you).
(e) You don't have to look at it as a permanent solution. If you take the promotion and really regret the decision, you can probably undo it (I imagine you could switch back to your old job either immediately or at some point).
However, I'd definitely discuss this with your mananger to see whether there is any possibility of slightly more money and/or a different schedule to allow you to choose a less expensive day care option or better afford the expensive one. Several years ago, my husband learned he'd need to work in another state for at least 6 weeks and possibly longer, and he was a big part of my child care and transportation to work. I was working 2 days in the office, the rest from home, and all full time. I had an almost-1-year-old, and I was feeling pretty stressed out. I reluctantly decided I'd need to quit if nothing changed, and I discussed the situation with my manager. I ended up being able to work part-time from home instead. Obviously, working from home isn't an option in your case, but my point is that if you don't ask for flexibility, you definitely won't get it.
I think you need to look at the short term and long term effects here when deciding. Short term, all your pay would go to daycare. But long term, you would have a better job and the kids won't always be in daycare! I made the same choice - took longer hours knowing that my children would not always be in daycare but my entire check paid for it. But it only lasted a few years, and now I have had the benefit of a better job because I looked at the long term choice I made: better job, all the money now coming into the household (not to daycare), better sanity. It's a short term struggle, but the kids really enjoyed daycare (mine did - socialization, learning, etc) and in the long term, it paid off nicely. Good luck in your decision.
congrats on your promotion!! it sounds like its a better fit for you professionally and MUCH less stressful. You must handle it better than you think to be offered a better position- kudos!
I saw someone mentioned using your flexible spending for daycare, but also look at your employer for a day care and other possible discounts, especially since its a larger company. Check with HR. This may help even out the cost of daycare and other spending!
It sounds like you would take a big hit upfront, so just give it some time and see how things even out. Plan EVERYTHING. Sit down and organize your spending so you and the hubs know exactly whats coming in and out and hopefully that will minimize any arguements.
Worse comes to worse, could you go back to your old position if it opened again?
Good luck!
I would sit down with my husband and make a few lists (I'm a list maker). Pros, cons, budgets, your actual raise, etc. If you are interested in informal care, since you only need half-days, find out what options you might have in your area for that. My husband also works for great health insurance, terrible pay (relatively, but he brings home very little), and he works rotten hours and would LOVE a day job, but the fact is that if he worked days, even at a small increase from what he makes now, we would have a lot less money after paying for full-time child care. Right now we have someone come to our home for our shift overlap and it is much more affordable for us. If you are looking long-term at your job, it might be worth considering a promotion, but also look into any other benefits you might be eligible for, like a Flexible Spending Account, that you could use toward child care (pre-tax $$, etc.). If it seems worth it to BOTH of you, you might take a hit initially until you get used to the change in your income and expenses, but it might be worth it in the long run. Customer service can be very stressful, so that is definitely something else to consider. Do you take your job home with you and bite everyone's heads off after a bad day, or do you manage it pretty well? I would make a "date" to discuss in great detail (without kids interrupting) before you have to make your decision and look at every angle with your husband.
I think you need to take the position. Put them in daycare part-time (great for them for socialization by the way). If you are miserable in your current job and you stay there, you are only going to get more stressed and hate it more. Happy mom = happy family.
First - congratulations on the promotion!
Since day care is expensive, is there a way to get a sibling discount? Can you volunteer on your days off to reduce the cost?
Mental health of mom is very important. How much longer are your children going to be in day care? Is one of them off to Kindergarten in the fall? If so, then your expensive day care is short lived and you'll only have one in after that. If it were me, I'd say go for what will make you happy - take the new job - find out if there are other day care options by asking around once you are working those hours. You never know -- one of your co-workers might have a solution.
The kids are young for a very short time. Think about it this way: You need insurance. You need a different position for your mental health. This is a terrific opportunity that might lead to bigger and better things and as your children get older, the financial strain will be less and less.
YMMV
LBC
If your husband can't rearragne his schedule to cover your days than I would say no to the promotion but tell your boss why you can't do it. I took a big pay cut (reduced my hours) to keep my son out of day care because I would rather not pay someone else the raise my son. They grow so fast - why miss one minute more than you already need to as a working mom. Maybe the company can make some sort of work life effectiveness modifications to that schedule or you can share it with another co-worker? The shift I am currently working is a modification of what's normal for my company and was considered WLE so they keep a good employee and ease my stress of family commitments which allows me to focus more on my job when I am there. If not, something better will always come along - that's the way the world works. Good Luck!!
Apply for assistance for child care costs with the state. I had families in my center that made lots of money but still got some help with the fees. They had to pay about 2/3 of the monthly fee but still, any help is help.
Otherwise you might try a Mothers-Day-Out program. We have 2 in my town, both by the Methodist church but one is M-W-F from 10am - 3pm and the other is T-Th from 9am-noon. It may be a less expensive way to go.
Otherwise consider just hiring a babysitter in your home. You could agree on a fee beforehand for X amount of hours per week. I think there may be some nice person who could use some extra income, maybe someone from your church or some friends mom? If they come to your home they are babysitters, if you take the child to their home they are in home child care and can be breaking the licensing laws in your state. Besides your child will be more comfortable at home.
I don't know it sounds as though you would be trading one stress for another kind of stress??
But you could always keep looking for daycares, even if you choose the expensive one, maybe a more reasonable one will pop up.
Do you only work part time, its seems crazy that your whole check would go to daycare for only 2 days. Geeze...
I haven't read the other answers on this and truly don't intend to recommend one way or the other. But I think one overlooked consideration - and one I wish someone had pointed out to me when I was budgeting my life - is that even if you don't go to work on a day that is normally a daycare day and you keep your child home- you WILL have to pay the daycare. I'm not sure if you get paid or not if you take a day off or have a holiday - but the daycare ALWAYS gets paid - even if your child is sick and doesn't go that day (and you have to stay home to take care of the child because daycare will not take them if they are sick). For that reason alone - and because there are so many Monday holidays - I always made sure that Mondays was not one of my daycare days. Good luck in whatever you do.
I think you should take the position.
Is there an hourly type daycare around you? We have several near us, and they offer hourly care, usually $11/hr for two kids. You only pay for what you need when you use it, so it could be a good fit for you. Of course it's strictly daycare, no pre-school curriculum at all, but if you only need it a couple days a week a few hours a day it might work for you.
You could also try care.com to see about hiring someone part time to nanny in your home. Or is there another mom you could swap care with?
I would totally say no to the promotion. Putting your kids in daycare will bring you way more stress than crabby customers. I was forced to put my young children in daycare at one point and it was horrible. These were very nice daycare centers in affluent areas, and one gave my 22 month old body lice.
I tried home daycare and found out that the nice "grandma" who was watching my babies was letting her husband chain smoke with my babies at his feet. I came early one day and found them like that with "grandma" over at a neighbors house chatting. Let your company know the situation and tell them you are open to other opportunities within the company that will fit your requirements. It's SO not worth your children's health and safety, especially if it's going to cost you more than your increase! Don't let people get to you...remember, it's not "you" they are upset with. Don't feel bad reminding them of that! ((((HUGS))))
Take the position and look at your budget and cut out anything you can to try to compensate - lots of things that seem like essentials are not - I keep trying to get my husband to get rid of cable/internent, but he wont because he thinks he cant live without it but that would save us @ $150 a month.
If your husbands work slows down, can he adjust his schedule to keep the kids on one or both of those days?
I live in Texas, and the home daycares are supposed to register with the state. If they are registered, the state checks in with them and makes them fix safety issues and keep their certifications updated. Does MA have a registry like that? Its not as good as a personal referral, but I found a daycare provider for my children that way. I thought I could tell alot from going into the home and seeing the kids and talking to the provider and I went several times, at different times of the day, and I also talked to parents of children who went there.
Take the job and work on your budget. Good luck!
Hi, for some reason I can't get to see your other answers, so forgive me if I'm repeating anyone's advice. But would it be impossible to explain the situation to your boss and say that you would really really like to take the promotion, but without a slightly more substantial raise you worry you can't? Maybe they can help you figure something out (change the days, give you some sort of benefit-in-kind that won't cost them anything?) And if it's just two half days is there no relative or friend who might consider taking them for cash in hand???
Good luck - I know it's not an easy decision, but my gut would be to try and figure something out so you can at least gain the new work experience and give yourself a chance at moving up the ladder.
-V.
