To Nap or Not to Nap

Hi B.,

My DS (6) stopped napping around 2.5 also. I can't nap in the daytime unless I'm sick so I expected him to give up napping as well. I did enforce quiet time in his room though because I needed the alone time myself. My DH and I put a gate in front of his door and enforced the "no climbing the gate" rule with swats as needed. We kept only quiet toys in his room: books, animals, etc. He eventually learned that for the next hour or so Mommy won't come up unless it's an emergency, but it took time for him. Be patient, but don't give in to his tantrums. Good luck.

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My daughter is 2.5 also & I won't let her take a nap. I know that sounds mean, but when she does take naps, even if they are less than an hour she is impossible to put down at night!
Plus, she'll wake in the night, normally around 3am & won't go back to sleep! So, my vote is for a cranky toddler for a few hours than to have a screaming toddler in the middle of the night. LOL

Anyway, I think your son is probably ready to transition to no naps at all. Can you put him to bed a little early? Like 30-40 minutes early, until he fully adjusts to no nap?

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It sounds like he's starting to outgrow them (as much as we hate the thought of our child outgrowing a nap!). My daughter is almost 3 and she is the same way. If she doesn't nap, she's grouchy and I just have to put her to bed 30-45 minutes earlier than usual and she still wakes up at her regular time.

I think "quiet time" is still a good idea so I wouldn't give up on that quite yet. Another option is to maybe read with him for a little bit and hopefully that will relax him and he'll stay in bed or at least tell him he can play with his toys quietly, but he can't leave his room. (My son did this and about half the time would fall asleep on his floor amongst his toys. He stopped napping all together around 3 1/2.) And if all else fails, maybe put a movie on for him. (Somedays when my daughter refuses to nap, I'll let her watch a movie in my bed, which is a treat to her, and she'll usually fall asleep.)

Best of luck to you.

I hear you! I have a two year old and she sometimes tries to get out of a nap. I know this may seem harsh but it works. I belong to babyconnection.com and this was their advise. When he wants to skip a nap and keeps coming out of his room. I know it is hard, but dont say anything to him except for the same thing everytime (like: you need to take a nap) and then place him in bed and close the door. You may have to do this 20-30 times, before he gets the hint. Try not to show frustration either. The kicker is to stick to your guns, your the parent remember. You may need to put some relaxing music on or a noise maker in his room. sometimes it is hard for these little ones to settle down. To answere your question, yes they need a nap. As a nurse, their brains are still growing and they need a recharging time (nap time). Hang in there. hope this works

First, every child is different. Of my four, the first quit taking naps at 4, my second quit at 2 1/2, and my third fought naps from the time he started sleeping through the night. He was less than one year old. He is four now. He still layed down until he could climb out of his crib. I quit pushing the issue when (if I was lucky) he would take a nap, but would not settle down until 10pm. From there we have quite time, I allow him to watch a movie after preschool, so if I can, I nap while his baby brother sleeps. after 1/2 hour we are both ready to finish the day and he will go to bed at the normal time of 8:30-9:00pm.
A good rule of thumb is: if they will go to bed when they should not being to fussy and can wake up at a normal time (give or take an hour on either side of the wake or sleep) than he doesn't need a nap, but quite time is always a positive thing whether it his alone time or your taking the opportunity to read to him. If your needing the time for you and fighting him to stay in his room than PBS needs to be your new best friend!

I had 4 children. All of whom benefited from napping. Even us as adults, can use a little rest every day. Please encourage napping, even if it means laying down with him to make him fall asleep. You can slip out quietly of the room after he is sleeping sound. Have you ever considered the fact that he wants to do what you do? If you encourage a reward like a snack after he sleeps this might be easier. But do not let him sleep for more than two hours because then he might have trouble going to sleep at his regular bedtime.. It all depends on consistency. A regular schedule is something everything can depend on.. M. Giltner

I am so glad I am not the only one struggling with the nap fight with my 2.5 year old too! I have found that I don't expect him to nap every day, b/c when I did I got really upset and it put me in a bad mood. Now I just read to him in his room and sometimes he falls asleep and sometimes he doesn't. I have just come to the conclusion that we are atleast going to spend 30-45 min of quiet time if he doesn't sleep.

Just know I am dealing with the same battle when he doesn't take a nap and am hoping "This to shall Pass" :)

My 2 oldest, now 6 and 4, both stopped napping around 2 1/2 yrs. I pushed the issue with my first one, but when the 2nd did the same thing I didn't worry too much. Bedtime was a lot easier! My oldest was a real night owl until she gave up napping. As soon as the nap was gone, she was out like a light @ 8:00pm. However, neither of them turned into dinnertime monsters, so I just figured I was the unlucky parent of "low sleep needing children"! It sounds like your son might still need a little something, maybe find an alternative spot for quiet time if his room makes him rebel. A "resting place" in the family room or something? Hope this helps.

Well neither of my kids took naps after 2. Although, they were fine until bed time, and actually made night time easier, so I was ok with it. If he is cranky at 6:00, I'd say he stil needs something. How about laying and lisening to music or a book on tape? I know moms use this time for a breather, so it is so hard!

GL:)

My kids all quit taking naps by the time they were 2. If they napped - they were awake until late at night. If they did not, much like your little one, they were in bed by 7. Go ahead and try putting him to bed earlier and enjoy a bit of quiet time for yourself without feeling guilty! :)

Oh how I needed the nap more than the kids ever did! As long as he is getting the right amount of sleep at night then he may not need a nap. Quiet time was a requirement in our house (mostly for my sanity) and no exceptions were made just like bed time. We had a snack or lunch, a drink, went potty read a story. I let them pick a stack of books in the bed or crib and there was no yelling for me or getting up until 1 hour was up. I always promised a snuggle (who can pass that up) or something else to look forward too when I came and got them. The best advice I ever got was to make sure that bedtime and naptime/quiet time were at the same time everyday.

My little boy gave up naps around that age too (much to my chagrin). I gave him 'quiet time' instead. Right after lunch, he went in to quiet time, so he always knew when it was coming. He would come out of his room at first, but I tried to be consistent with sending him back in and taking toys away if he came out. He often fell asleep while in 'quiet time' if he needed it, and it gave him time to calm down and read (look at pictures) or play with his toys. Plus it gave me a much-needed break in the middle of the day.

I would say to keep on trying to get him to nap. With my son, now 8, we put an hook and eye on the outside of the door, so when it was nap (or bed) time, we would put him in the bed then lock that door. Once he fell asleep, we would then unlock it. He wanted to keep coming out, but I knew he desperately needed those quiet times. We only had to do this for a couple weeks before he realized he couldn't get up until he slept for awhile.

My daughter is 2 1/2 and my son is 4, and BOTH my children still take naps. Not only do I believe they still need it, being selfish here, Im going to say that I still need it! :)
My son is the exact same way, if he doesnt nap he is a c.r.a.b. come evening. I say, to stick to your guns...and enforce the naps.
Good Luck with this!

This is probably not the greatest advice but, it works for me. My son started wanting to give naps up around then to. But, I started making him lay down on the couch and i would lay next to him and read a longer story to him. I would get about 3/4 of the way through and he would be out like a light. Then I would still have my quiet time. Which we all need. My son is now 3 1/2 and he is still taking naps on the couch. I think he just didn't want to be alone and the couch trick worked. He has no problems being alone at night so I'm not sure why he didn't during the day. Good luck to you but, don't give up. One other thing you could try is if he doesn't take a nap put him to bed at 6-6:30 when he gets tired. One way or the other he will get the sleep he needs and you will get some quiet time.

Tell him he dosen't have to take a nap, BUT ! he will have to rest on his bed for an hour and be very quiet, after all you are the one that is in charge, and at 2 1/2 he needs to know that or look out. beleive it or not, kids need rules to go by and that showes them that you care about them.

About me- I am a mother of 4 - 2 boy's and 2 girls, and now a grandmother of 9 They all took naps and it never hurt them, Good Luck.

It sounds like if he's "Mr. Monster Man" by 6, then he still needs the sleep. My daughter stopped naps shortly after 2 years old not because she refused to take them, but because if she did, she would be up until 11pm bouncing off walls with way too much energy. We substituted "quiet time" for naptime when that happened. She simply did not need as much sleep. She also slept for a good 11-12 hours at night, though. I think yours probably still needs the rest, you just have to figure out what he responds best to when trying to keep him in bed. Good luck!

2 1/2 is pretty young to drop naptime! Especially if he is so cranky by 6pm. He probably needs some sort of a consequence for coming out of his room continually. It's got to be something that will make him want to stay in his room rather that have the consequence. They still need lots of sleep at that age.

I'm right there with you. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who around age 2 went from napping 2 hours every day to not napping at all - so frustrating. I've kept up the nap routine though. Even though she doesn't sleep I tell her it's her rest time and she can play quietly in her room for an hour. She used to come out every 10 minutes, but now I set a timer and she knows she can't come out until she hears it go off.

I too was wondering if I should give up the nap. Recently I read that naps are important if your child gets grumpy, irritable, etc. late in the afternoon. If your child can make it through the day without seeming overtired, then there is no reason to force a nap. My daughter behaves fine without a nap so I stopped pushing the issue of sleep, and just focused on making her play quietly in her room for an hour. She might not need an hour of sleep, but I definitely can use the hour break. As I am sure you can too.

Hope you and your son can find an arrangement that works for you.

M.

I would say to put on a timer for his quiet time (20-30 minutes). If he knows that the timer will go off and he can't get off of his bed or out of his room until the timer goes off, you're more likely to have a successful quiet time. I have had sisters who do it and one of them is still doing it with their four year old because that's the routine and it gives mom a break. He's young enough, too, that he may just fall asleep while looking at books, but he doesn't feel like he's required to have a nap. You could tell him that he doesn't have to go to sleep, but he needs to stay there. Once the pressure is off to fall asleep...he might just do it!! Good luck!

I have 4 kids, and all of them around 2 didn't want to nap. My youngest is 2.5 and my oldest is 15. My 2.5 yr old daughter and my 3.5 yr old son may or may not nap. When I see that they are becoming little monsters. I will have them lay on the chair and couch. I will lay down too some days and put in a favoret movie. I have learned that when they are monsters, that if they sit still for 10 min they will take a nap. I never let them nap past 4 pm or bed time is a pain, but if I don't let them nap on those days, by 6 or 7 they try to fall a sleep and I won't let them then, too close to bed time. Most days they don't need naps because I am a lucky mother. All four of my kids were not early risers. They don't get out of bed till 8 or 9 am. You can have quiet time with out him being in his room, just turn the TV off and sit and read a book with or with out him.

Morning B., this is a so oh familar situation at that age. What I have found work best is consistency and routine. You're son will keep getting up as long as you let him stay up. So it has to be back to bed kiddo... what works here is, lunch, then we watch Word WOrld on PBS, cute show, then its rest time. The pressure is taken off if its called rest time, if he isn't required to go to sleep he won't be afraid he is going to miss something. Maybe try an alarm, telling him rest time is over when it goes off. I would also suggest wake up time is same time everyday too ... routine. Then maybe have a snack that he enjoys or something special for him if he stays in bed ... to rest ... until its time to get up. remember, he gets up.. you put him back.... he gets up , you put him back. You will probably have to do this several times for several days but it should get easier as the days past. just stick to your plan.. You are MOM.. you call the shots. sort of..lol good luck... he will me a much happier camper after a nap or even just an hour or two rest.. and the added benefit is that you will be too when you son is pleasant. happy mothering

In my experience if he is Mr. Monster without a nap, he needs one. Of course you cannot force someone to sleep, but you can encourage it. What seems to work best for both of my childen is to stick to a routine before nap time. We read a book and get special blankets and snuggle toys and reminde them that it a quiet time and they need to be still and quiet. It also helps if the shades are darwn and the house is quiet too. If they are being resistant, I will grab a book and sit in the room with them, if they start acting up then I quirtly, but firmly tell them to be quiet and lay dow. Some days they don't nao just out of sheer force of will, but this seems to work most of the time. Good Luck!

Sounds like he still needs a nap. What time do you put him down? He might be ready for a nap earlier that you think he is. Then if you put him down to late he's overtired and can't fall asleep. At least require him to have quiet time in his room and 9 times out of 10 he will eventually go to sleep. Be consistent about it. Same time every day, maybe have a routine like at bedtime. If he just won't do it at all, then he needs to go to bed at 5:30 or 6:00. Sounds crazy, but it works. My aunt has a 4 year old who goes to bed at 6:00 every night and sleeps until 7:30 in the morning. Sleeps well and all night and is a happy boy in all day long. A 2 or 3 year old still needs a good 14 hours of sleep. Usually 11 or 12 at night and a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Just keep trying, anyway, to get him to nap. My son went through a phase about that age where he didn't nap but I just kept at it. Finally the summer before he turned 4 I let him give up the nap and put him to bed earlier at night. Anyway, good luck! I know how frustrating that can be!

NO do not just drop it. You are the parent and your son needs to learn to respect you. If you give in, he'll learn he can get his way. Stand your ground.
When my son decided he didn't need his afternoon nap (like you it showed later in the day), I told him he had to stay in his room and do something quiet such as lay in his bed and look at books or color. Kids need their alone and quiet time just like everyone else.
If your son insists on coming out, jsut keep putting him back. Once he knows you are not giving up he'll give in. YOu might way to set a timer and tell him when the timer goes off you can come out.

Please don't drop it. Even kindergarteners have a rest time after lunch. Set up a system for him. He has to rest in his room until his music is done or the timer is off. He can nap if he wants to or quietly read books - IN BED. Every day 1/2 hour of a break to let his body rejuivinate. Maybe he can have a treat if he stays in bed without any reminders. My 3 year old still fights naps, but every day we try. Our kids are not getting enough rest and we have them do so much! They need the break and so do us moms.

I, too, have a 2 and a half year old, that has not been napping, but needs one! for a while, we decided to try without a nap, b/c i didn't want the "battle" every afternoon. (she usually won!) it wasn't worth it. however, over time, she accumulatively became more and more sleep deprived, making her into, yep, you guessed it, a miserable little girl. she was also so overtired she was waking several times a night. our solution, i started prepping her late morning, at which time she would cry/state "i don't want to take a nap", etc. but that foreshadowing helped her to accept the inevitable. basically, i just had to buck up and take charge again. i didn't give her any wiggle room for requests i.e. i want to sleep in mom/dad's, or sisters bed, or sleep on the couch, get stuffed animals ( i would get one or two for her if she wanted them) etc. however it is you discipline, put it into full force, stay very calm/unemotional, and unbending. we also just brought home a newborn right before christmas, so i took a little more time to rock her before nap, and she really liked the one on one time she got from me at that time, even if it was before the dreaded nap. staying positive and firm, she got the message I was in control, and now we're back into the swing of napping...for now. what will it be next:) one of my diversions for her too was saying "ok, right away when you wake up, you shout for momma". also, Mr. Rogers is always on, at least the last fifteen minutes of it, b/c it ends right at her naptime, at which time "Mr. Rogers takes a nap too" when she hears the closing song, she knows what is coming. we now have our happy, spunky little girl back. this was our experience. hang in there:) this too will pass. A.

I have a 2 1/2 year old son that is no longer taking naps. He got to the point of if he took a nap he was up until 11:00pm or so, so we decided to do away with the nap and it's been great. Sometimes he gets a bit tired around 5:00-6:00pm but we just play with him and keep him up until around 7:00 for bedtime and he pretty much sleeps through the night and all is good. My son also refused to take naps and if we did eventually get him to go down for a nap when he woke up he was kind of a monster so the no nap thing works really well for us. =)

My son dropped naps at 4yr old, my daughter before age 3. Both of them went through transition times after dropping the naps when they were alittle cranky in the p.m. before bedtime. It might just be a phase, so I would keep trying for the naps. When he does (and you) finally decide that he really is done with naps, there might be some crankiness still. I think that's normal as their bodies adjust. Make sure he has lots of physical activity during the day. I kept trying to get my daughter to nap for about 6mo after she decided she was done-I just wasn't ready!!!!!

I have always stood infromt of their door till they fall asleep. Yes it can be a pain but eventually he will get the picture.
T.

My son stopped taking naps right after his 2nd birthday. I couldn't believe it. It seemed so early so I kept trying but I had the same problem, he just would holler and scream and I finally decided that you just can't force a child to take a nap. However, same problem around 5-6 p.m. so what worked for me was to do quiet time with him, like telling him that I was tired (always true!) and needed to lie down and we would rest together on my bed or we would cuddle on the couch and read books. I figured if I could at least get him horizontal for a while for a little rest that would be good. Then we made his bedtime a little earlier. I have talked to other moms whose kids stopped taking naps at this age, it is a little unusual but not unheard of. I would enforce a quiet time but definitely don't try to force a nap. Good luck.

My daughter did the same thing at 2 1/2 and would not stay in her room either. I make her have quiet time on the couch and she gets to pick out a movie to watch. If she gets up off the couch for any other reason than to go to the potty, she has to finish quiet time in her room. She does well with this and even sometimes falls asleep on the couch.

Early bedtime!! Ok, not that you want your son in bed by 6:00 every nite - - however, we went thru the same thing with our son (now 3 1/2 and nap free for quite awhile), and we just started putting him to bed at 7, instead of 8, and it worked wonders! it was a gradual process, we did the every other day nap thing, and it took a month or so to get to no naps.
The reason we started losing the naps, was the refusal & not being willing to fight over an hour every day (with another baby at home), plus his not being able to fall asleep until 9:00 or later & still waking up at the same time every morning.
I don't believe all children need naps until they are 5, especially if they sleep 10-12 hours a nite. common advice among the medical community is that naps stop anywhere from 18 mos - 4. Every child is different!
Trust yourself, too - you are the mom and know what is best, you'll figure it out! Every mom knows when their child isn't getting enough sleep!

At 2 1/2 he should still need a nap. Easier said than done, I know! He is old enough to understand simple cause/effect...explain to him that it's either quiet time (mom decides the length) or an earlier bedtime. Tell him what activities are ok during quiet time and that he must stay in his bed/room/chair (whatever). If he doesn't, tell him that he will have to go to bed earlier that night and stick to it. He'll either learn to comply with quiet time or learn to go to bed earlier!
~L.

My son is kinda going through the same thing. We just put a small TV with a DVD player built in into his room. When it what we call "quiet time" he picks a movie and he can watch it as long as he stays in bed. It gives him some calm time and you a break for about an hour and a half. If he is still awake when its over he can come out and play but 4 out 7 days during the week he had fallen asleep watching the movie! Enjoy your quiet time!

i have a 2 1/2 year old boy (Alex) and a 17 mos boy (Colvin) also and Alex has done the same thing. he refused to take naps and was a monster by 5. I feel that at that age they are not old enough to stop napping. but i have found that it seems to be a phase. ALex would do it for about three or four days until he was so tired that he would crash . i have also found that starting nap time at about 1 or 2 and only letting him sleep until 3-3:30, this has helped a lot, he gets a nap but will still get to bed at 8 or 9. but everynow and then he does the refusal thing and crashes after a couple days, they need that sleep, and we need them to slepp too!!! hope this helps. A.

I am in the same boat with my 2 1/2 year old. She doesn't come out of her room she just will play by herself for over an hour and she usually just falls asleep eventually. Our problem is she stays awake until 11-12 playing as well. But she is a major grouch if she doesn't nap. But I agree they need quiet time and that is my quiet time to nap or read as well. My 5 year old gave up naps at 2 1/2 and I regret not sticking with nap times with her.