To Move or Not to move....that Is My Question :)

Updated on February 01, 2014
I.S. asks from Sacramento, CA
27 answers

Ok, so i have a dilemma....hope your moms can shed some insight and suggestions my way.

I am financially having a difficult time in making ends meet. I commute to work (50+ miles a day - round trip), which includes bringing my son to school (he goes to school where i work), then picking him up 4 days a week from school to bring him to his after school program (only a 1mile from work/school).

Currently we live in a 2br/1ba duplex w garage and HUGE front and rear yards in an okay neighborhood. Awesome location as we are in an area minutes from a park with VERY little to no street traffic. My duplex shares a driveway, which is great for the kids to play safe during the day. My expenses are typical....CC's (3), internet, home phone, gas, utilities, car payment, car insurance, cell phone and food. Oh i do have a cat and a dog...which I WILL NOT give up. They are family and a responsibility.

My job is changing in February and created a move further up to another city. This will change my commute from 50+ miles a day to 75+. This job change is a lateral move financially, as i will in time make more money and its a career change for the better (less lay offs).

as we all know, moving is a major hassle. I am trying to decide if moving is needed. Now my son and I have moved A LOT since he was 7mon old. Two moves out of them all (its embarrassing to say how many) were by my choice, others due to rent increases I could not afford.

Now I am willing to make some major sacrifices to move, yet I refuse to get a roommate (bad experiences) and in April, my brother will be living with us. He will help out a bit financially ($300), but not a lot due to no job (in the process of finding work - i am helping him out due to his stressful current living situation).

I have eliminated a lot of things not worth spending money on. Like eating out and limiting my starbucks. The only issue with moving, is rent is higher near my work. Rent I pay is $825. Most places near my work and nearby cities are roughly $900 - $1100 for 2br apartments, not even duplexes. Which means I loose my backyard for my dog, a front yard to play in for my son, a garage for storage, my w/d, frig and freezer, along with the play structure. A lot of things we loose by moving. YET, i am okay with this for the long term goal of saving $ and paying my debts off....so in turn, we can get back into a house or a duplex and I will be able to afford it.

BUT my biggest issue in moving is stability for my son. As this is my # 1 concern and his dad's concern, since we have moved so much. As this move will unfortunately, not be our last, as it will be a temporary move to save money, if possible. I am looking into a 2br apartment for $695 minutes from my sons school and roughly 8+ miles one way to work. Its a small apartment.

Should I move? suggestions?? ideas? Opinions? Anything? lol

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I personally know families who are in the military that move all the time, including to different states. Their kids are healthy and happy.

Personally, I wouldn't enjoy that commute so my gut would say move.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I'd consider whether or not the place for $625 has the yard space you want. If not , I;d stay put. Consider what would be cheaper, an increase in rent or an increase in gas? Just food for thought,.... C. S.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Since moving seems to be a regular event for you why are you questioning this one? It appears to be a good move and you both would enjoy less time in the car.

More Answers

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

As a military kid, I moved all the time. It didn't scar me in the least. I bet he will be fine. His friends aren't changing unless he is changing schools, and even then, it's okay, he's young.

You'll save a lot of money and hassle being on the road that much. My husband commutes two hours each way to work and it's a strain on us emotionally and financially. We work through it, but it's frustrating for sure.

Just based on the information you have provided, I would say move.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Dallas on

I would move. Commuting is EXHAUSTING, and you'll be saving so much more time to spend with your "Little Guy!" That's the most important thing....time with him. MOVE!!

3 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Richland on

Move, how much stability does he have with you spending that much time on the road every day.

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'd stay put, but my opinion is biased as we live so far out in the sticks that 75 miles round trip sounds like a huge bonus. my poor dh drives 150 miles a day on a good day, and up to 300 sometimes. the commute is brutal.
but since you like your duplex AND it's in your budget, i'd stick with it and deal with the extra driving until you've been there for a year or so and can make an informed decision on the next step. you also have to get used to your brother living with you.
too many big decisions in too short a time period rarely work out well.
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Huntington on

You don't have to make a decision right this second. Why not start looking to see what apartments are near your new workplace? You might find something that has what you want and you can figure out what you would save in rent, transportation and what the cost of moving would be(the old pros and cons list)

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd move.
And read a Dave Ramsay book.
Get rid of that CC debt and your car payment as fast as you can!
Gas money savings alone should help you bang those down.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I would say move! Yes, your son will have a new address, but his school will remain the same.

1 mom found this helpful

G.K.

answers from San Francisco on

This seems like a no-brainer to me, as I HATE the idea of commuting in a car. It's a little different here in the Bay Area where we have BART and Caltrain, but having to sit in traffic for 75+ miles just doesn't seem worth it. The gas money you save would probably equal the increase in rent.

One day after work, take a cruise around the neighborhoods for parks for your dog and son, as well as apartments. I could deal with an apartment short-term knowing that I'm saving money and paying debt and will be able to afford something closer to what I have/want a couple years down the road. Especially if I know I'm going to be that job for at least 2 years.

I HATE moving (3 of our 4 moves have been cross-country), and I would move.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from Boise on

Gas prices are going to absolutely skyrocket in the coming 5 years. There is a reason why gvmt is pushing car makers to go smaller, smaller lighter. They want less cars on the road, and they want less people able to drive. They want to push people into riding bikes, and it will be SO expensive to own a vehicle most will be forced onto those bikes just like the 3rd world countries. Small homes/apts have a plus that the energy bills are less, remember obummer promised us all our heating and cooling/ energy prices were going to "necessarily skyrocket" also.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would like to suggest that you are your son's stability at this age. If you are happy, he will be happy.

Also, I've done that kind of commute and it's physically draining. And also very expensive in terms of wear on your car plus the $$ you spend on gas.

Is the new 2BR apartment near some kind of park or does the apartment complex have any outdoor space? As long as there is somewhere to play outdoors with your son and dog, I don't think it matters as much if it is your backyard or not.

So, from my perspective - which is someone who did a 50 minute commute, each way, for 1.5 years and hated it - I say move.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

Since your sons school will not change, I say move. Saving money in gas, rent, and wear and tear is good enough reason.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just to remind you how expensive moving is. And setting up a new place. Factor that in to your decision. Best wishes on whatever you decide.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.W.

answers from Seattle on

I'd make the move. Reducing your commute by that much and being that close to his school would be well worth it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Move. Your sons stability is grounded in you not where he lives, especially since he won't be changing schools. If you commute 2 hours a day, you commute 500 hours a year. That 500 hours you could be spending time with your son playing in a park, playing games at home, doing a craft project, painting, coloring. Those are the things he will remember and you will be a lot less tired when you come home than what you would be after spending 75 miles on the road.
Look around to see what you can find in term of housing. If you wait until April your brother can help with move and you have some time to look for a place. You'd also know what it feels like to commute and that might make the decision easier. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Move. A small 2 bedroom close to your son's school and your work sounds a lot better than a 75 mile commute. Your place now sounds nice enough, but how much time do you all have to enjoy the backyard and play structure if you're spending tons of time driving back and forth?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Dallas on

How old is your son? He seems very young, so moving should not be a big deal for him.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I'd move. BTW-I applaud you for treating your pets like family!!! :)

We just downsized from a huge house which was ridiculous. We didn't need that much house. Now in a rental and building another reasonably sized home. I can't tell you how happy I am we made that choice. Lower bills, less hassle, lower taxes etc. etc. etc. You will be so glad you did.

Also, as an added benefit, my kids are much happier. There is more family time, everyone is more relaxed AND we have some extra money to do some things we weren't able to afford.

Wishing you blessings!!! I promise you won't regret it!

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

To me it's a no brainer to move, but I am not a fan of a big commute. I would think you would make up the difference in gas and wear and tear on your car. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Do you see yourself staying at the new job for a long time? If you think you'll be there for several years, I would move. Commuting 75 miles a day will take it's toll on you (it will feel like a lot more than 50) and the extra gas will quickly add up.

It's hard to give up the yard and everything else, but think of it this way: You'll be saving $130 per month from the lower rent. Add to that the $300 from your brother and a huge reduction in your gas bill and you're looking at $500 per month of savings. Use that money toward your credit cards if you must, especially if you have high interest rates (which, essentially, is just throwing away money), but put as much of the extra money as possible into a savings account.

Your son will adjust to a new school and new neighborhood. While losing the yard will be tough, he'll be gaining an hour of free time a day by not having such a long commute, and that will benefit him in new ways.

Unless you see yourself needing to make a major move again in a couple of years (new area, not just from an apartment to a nearby house), make the move now.

Finally, try to go from three credit cards down to one. Pick one with a low interest rate and a good reward - something you'll actually use. Have a second for emergencies if you must, but one credit card is usually sufficient.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you should move. 75+ miles per day is just too much driving. Think of what you could do with all of that time you wouldn't spend in the car. And who knows what could happen with gas prices. Maybe they will go up past $5/gallon. If you can find a place that accommodates your family and your pets within your budget, go for it!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Dallas on

If the small apartment takes your pets then go ahead and move. It will be for the short term. Your son will be going to the same school, so that is a big plus. He can also play with his friends from school. Is the drive closer for your husband?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.Z.

answers from Detroit on

It sounds like a big factor against moving is how many times you've already moved. What about removing that from the equation (you're the only one judging!) and ask yourself the same question?

Minutes from school and work? Go for it! It will be so nice for your son to be close to the kids he goes to school with, as he grows and wants to have playdates/birthday parties with the kids from school. I would list things that you need a new place: playground/play structure within walking distance and not across busy streets, a close dog walking trail/park, in suite w/d and dishwasher...and what you can live without, such as big front yard, large bedrooms, separate playroom etc.

We rented a small place for 2 years after a big move, to save money to buy our house. We had two small kids and no designated playroom, but we made it work by creating a play space with an Ikea mat, shelves etc in a space we created "beside" the living room (ie squished the living room furniture into a smaller area) and another "crafts" station in the corner of our kitchen with a garage sale kids table and chairs. We visited parks, instead of playing in our own backyard, and bought a used playhouse for our patio, so the kids had an outdoor play space in the summer. When you factor in how much you pay for transportation, I bet the extra rent costs will not seem so big.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Move. Sell some of your stuff. When you have more room, you accumulate more, especially in a garage. You have a family of two. You don't need tons of "stuff".

Yeah, it's a hassle and lots of work. But it will be worth it in the long run. I know it's hard with the dog, but take him to the park or walks down the sidewalk with the extra time you'll have from not driving so long.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I moved all the time as a kid. Two different kindergartens and first grades. No scars at all. I think it's the family unit that provides the stability more than the house.

I think schools are a big consideration, here, though. If you're going to have a child moving into the Twin Rivers school district, for example, with all of its legal troubles, it's a big difference than moving your child to Roseville's school district. Will the school options in the new city be better or at least on par with where you're at now?

Have you thoroughly checked housing options in the new area? It sounds like you've done some research, but have you done a serious search to make sure you can't find a place with a small yard or patio?

It's a tough call that only you can make. For me, the thought of that kind of commute in Sacramento would be a dealbreaker and I'd move. However, only you know all of the considerations that matter to your family and just how important those considerations will weigh on you.

Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions