Seeking Experiences from Adults Who Were Homeschooled

Updated on July 30, 2009
G.S. asks from Portland, OR
12 answers

I have seen threads asking advice about home schooling but I would like to hear from adults who were homeschooled. If you were homeschooled, do you believe you had a solid academic foundation and do you homeschool your own kids now? And how far did you pursue your education? Did you go on to graduate and post graduate studies?
My husband and I were not homeschooled but both attended private school so if we put our kids in school, it would be private school. My husband is 100% supportive of homeschooling but of course I would be doing all the work. I'm pretty confident I would be able to teach her till college because of my own education and interest in academics but I have mixed feelings because I enjoyed going to school and still keep in touch with my kindergarten, elementary and high school friends and teachers. Meanwhile, unfortunately, I had 2 male teachers take advantage of me while in high school and college. That's one of the big reasons why I want to keep my daughter at home. Even though I did well in school, those experiences has led to emotional scars that I am still having trouble with.
I hear a lot of good advice and comments from adults who are homeschooling their kids but it would be good to hear from adults who were homeschooled.

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So What Happened?

I did go for counseling for my traumatic experiences. I'm not saying it affects my daily life but I do have it at the back of my mind and I am as vigilant about protecting my child as most parents. It is more of a distraction at most than a hinderance. I know that people can be taken advantage of in many different ways and places. I just wanted to be honest that it does skew my opinion and I can't just erase it from the decisions I make.
Right now, at the age of 2, my toddler is already curious and eager to learn. In a way, I have started schooling her in the form of play and bonding. I thoroughly enjoy the process.
I appreciate all the feedback but I do have a mixture of friends who are homeschooling and not homeschooling and I've heard many opinions. I've met kids who are homeschooled vs not homeschooled and I've been researching this for a while. I believe there are pros and cons to both situations and that it really depends on the relationship and unique circumstances of each child and parent.
What I really want is the opinions of adults who were homeschooled. To me, the "outcomes" are as important as the research itself. Thanks.

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I was homeschooled and LOVED it and am homeschooling my 3 year old son. My mom homeschooled my brother and I in the cornfields of Illinois when it was still very new, now there are so many support networks, materials available, I'm very excited about it. I do want to address the socialization issue brought up in one of the other posts...there are studies that home educated children are more socially adept than peers who are stuck in a room with kids all the same age. Home educated kids deal with the real world since they are with mom or dad as they run the household. They also enjoy time with all ages of kids, so learn to talk to older kids, take care of younger ones, etc. A more natural world order than school, which is a modern idea that honestly isn't serving all the kids who attend it. I've been doing a lot of reading lately about learning styles, what to teach, etc. and home education is very flexible. If you raise a learner and miss something, she'll be able to pick up her own learning materials, evaluate the sources and validity of information and make an informed decision. I was home educated through 7th grade, skipped 8th grade, was bored literally to tears in 9th grade so my parents moved so I could have a good education in high school, and went on to get an engineering degree. Now I'm a SAHM and love it. I did not feel socially inept. I've always made friends easily, played sports, stayed in Girl Scouting through High School, and am a good decision maker. I'll give you one example of the power if home education. I really struggled with Algebra and would have probably failed it in school. I really didn't get it. I tried it again the next year and breezed through it. I know for certain I would not be an engineer today if I was in school and felt I had "failed." Instead I struggled and had the time to overcome it. What a great life lesson :). Now my engineer husband comes to me for help with math! I'm in Stafford if you want to get together. We could also email back and forth if you want more information. The real power of home education besides having a strong family is tailoring what you do to your child, not a generic classroom. Much luck making such an important decision. D.
ps-Going to high school was the right answer for me and my mom at the time, but we're planning to home educate my son through high school. Some home educated children are graduating with half their college credits. And there are graduations and proms, so keeping in touch with childhood friends is always a possibility.

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G.F.

answers from Richmond on

With your educational background, you could do wonderfully. I was not home schooled, but would have loved the opportunity for it, and would probably have done better in school if I were.

I, subsequently, did home school my daughter in between moves while replacing her in private Christian schools. I have also home schooled my grandson until he recently moved to CA, where his mom will continue his home schooling.

In addition, I was a Principal/Administrator of one of my daughter's schools, and found that children coming to the school that were home schooled were much more eager to learn and more disciplined in their studies. With home school education doesn't stop at 2:00. The entire world becomes a learning zone!

The entire social factor you eluded to is a very important one. Even if it is not a teacher doing the aggression, the cruelty of kids is undeniable. When factoring in the decline of moral and societal standards, it is even more of an inevitability. Let's not forget the monster drug pushers who prey on grade schools and beyond.

As you can tell, I am a proponant of being the one who teaches our children. With the home school programs that are availabe, you can bring course work to your child in a multiple of ways. You can deliver it exclusively, or you can employ DVD course work usage for courses you may want another personality or "Degree" to teach.

The HEAV.com website is good. There is a large contingancy of home schoolers in VA., where you can find support groups to help you in the process. I pray you will make the decision to home school with confidence that you will be doing the best thing for your child!

With the right management of your home schooling and searching out the various other parents in your area that do, you can create a social network for outings and field trip, physical activity, etc.

As an ending note, my grandson tested at the 97th percentile for the CAT tests this year. When we don't leave education to the schools, we become the ones who bring the world to our children.

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

If you want personal accounts from adults who were homeschooled, try contacting one of the larger support groups, like the Home Educators Association of Virginia (HEAV), www.heav.org or email: ____@____.com husband and I were not homeschooled, but chose to provide that for our children. It was the best decision we've ever made. Even my parents, who were quite skeptical and unsupportive in the beginning, now see the benefits.

I have much to say about the strengths, weaknesses and challenges of homeschooling. I read that your daughter is 2. You have time to research formal homeschooling, but I want you to think of what you're currently doing as homeschooling. I doubt that you simply keep your daughter in the house, but you probably take her outside and let her notice bugs and teach her the words. You probably read to her and sing to her. I've done both, put one child in daycare then private school and then kept the second child with me always. Both are now being homeschooled.

Feel free to email me offline.

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K.N.

answers from Norfolk on

I was not homeschooled, but I have friends who were and/or doing the same with their children. It is actually something I hope to learn more about as I am pursuing a degree in teaching, hopefully elementary school. My husband used to think home schooling was a bad idea for children and caused them to be socially awkward. I have done a good deal of research on my own though and found many examples that blew my husband's theory away. There are celebrities such as Whoopi Goldberg, Charlie Chaplin and the Jonas Brothers. There are Presidents. There are famous authors and inventors. I do think the most important aspect is to make sure your child just gets interaction with other children, whether that is through sports or in girl scouts or somewhere like the YMCA-there are many different youth programs out there. I agree that you do want to be careful not to over shelter her due to experiences that occured to you at a younger age. But I also see where you could still carry that fear, after all that is a truly traumatic experience, and we all want to do what we can to protect our chilren and try to make sure they do not have to suffer as we might have growing up. While seeking help for yourself is important, that is something you cannot feel pressured to do and you need to come to that decision on your own. Good luck and God bless!

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

GS - sorry I'm getting to this post late. I cannot speak regarding the home schooling issue. But I can speak to the "being taken advantage of" in HS and college. I have done my therapy and emotional purging so I am no longer bothered by what happened. But what I CAN tell you in retrospect so that you can keep your children safe is that if I had had a good relationship and healthy communication with my parents I would have been safe. I sought out the trouble in my life because my folks shut down after my older brother was killed in an accident. They weren't there emotionally - so I put myself in harms way to have someone to understand me in a time of tragedy. Which created double tragedy for me that my parents were never made aware of. So what I'm saying is that your open communication with your daughter throughout her life is the BIGGEST safety net she has. Then whatever you decide - she will be safe in it cos of healthy communication with you. Blessings - S.

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K.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I have nothing against homeschooling. It's not an option for our situation, but I've done the research and I see a lot of benefits to it.

However, regardless of whether or not you decide to homeschool your little girl, I would encourage you to seek some form of counseling to work through what happened to you in high school and college. I've known several people that were "taken advantage of" in various ways and that sort of thing does leave a scar and color the way you interact with the world. A professional counselor can really help you to heal and find a certain level of peace and forgiveness of yourself.

You're setting an example for your little girl and she learns about the world from the way she sees you interact with it. She won't know what happened, but she'll sense your healing process and it will be another clue about life that she'll tuck away.

There are bad people in the world, and sadly, they're not limited to any one place - they're in schools, camps, clubs, volunteer groups, even churches. But you can't put them in a bubble - they need to see the world, meet people, learn about life. You should feel confident that you can take care of yourself, and teach your daughter how to take care of herself (physically, emotionally, spiritually) because you won't be able to keep her away from everyone. I think it's the hardest part of being a mom/stepmom, that you can't prevent every bump, scrape, bruised ego, or broken heart. We do the best we can but eventually we have to let them go.

Good luck in whatever choice you make about school! Please give some thought to some form of counseling for yourself.

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, I wasn't homeschooled, but I am homeschooling my kids. I just wanted to let you know that "The Homeschooling Book of Answers" (available at Borders for sure) has a section in the back that has interviews with adults that were homeschooled and also the HSLDA (Homeschool Legal Defense Association) website has info on this for you if you want to check it out, just google HSLDA. Also if you're thinking about homeschooling, I have a list of reading that I think has helped me phenomenally in developing my own homeschooling philosophy. Message me if you're interested...

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S.S.

answers from Norfolk on

While I was not homeschooled I do know adults in my church who were. Alot of them do go on to college some have very prominent jobs. There is a church we fellowship with in west virginia most of the adults there were homeschooled and alot of them work for the government in dc. I personally do homeschool my sons. There is a lady in my church who went to the best of private "christian" schools she had many bad experiences. It is a big step but its not as hard as you might think and alot of curriculums they have nowadays schedule it all for you down to your conversations. Good Luck

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E.D.

answers from Richmond on

My sister and I were homeschooled for about 2 years and would have continued had the military accepted homeschool High School certificates. The didn't at the time, so I went to a public school for my last 2 years of HS. We also didn't know that I could have been homeschooled and still had extracurricular activities at the school and gotten the HS diploma and then gone to the military. Anyway, I very much enjoyed homeschooling because I got to work at my own pace which was faster than most of the kids in public school. It also gave me a basis for college because I do my college work online instead of in a classroom setting. I've been to private school, public school, home school, and Christian academy. Each have their good and bad. Each have their good education and bad education. Each have good teachers and not so good teachers. The problem we had in public school was that all the teachers knew the entire family so when my sister and I came along, we had to prove that we weren't like the rest of the family. We actually cared about our education and wanted good grades.
As for homeschooling my own two children, I'm not sure. My daughter just turned 5 and is autistic. For her public school has been a blessing these last 2 years (she was in preschool). For my son, it will probably be best that he go to school as well. Both children are very social and learn best from other children. Now I will say there will be things I don't want them to learn from other children, but we'll deal with that when it comes. Hope this helps, God Bless.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

I was not homeschooled, nor were my children. I used to think that homeschooling was not a good idea because the kids don't get the interaction with other kids, and thus don't develop good social skills. I have since changed my opinion, because the school system that my children attended sucks! And there are a number of great organizations where your child can get that social interaction. I'm involved in local theater, and have recently learned of a theater group for home schooled kids. I think that's wonderful, and I'm sure there are other such groups for other types of extracurricular activities. If you feel you can give your child a good solid education, I say do it!

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

before i respond to you, i want to respond to the poster who feels that homeschooling your child will be isolating her and denying her the opportunity to interact and learn from a diverse cross-section of people. it is possible to homeschool and do this, of course, but i haven't encountered anyone who does in 12 years of homeschooling my kids. in fact, my sons and the wide group of kids we know through our homeschooling adventures are far more comfortable in new settings and with pretty much anybody they encounter than the public schooled kids in our area who are restricted to age-peers and the limitations of physical demographics.
i myself was not homeschooled, but both my kids are in college now. my older son got his AA in business, graduating with phi theta kappa and honor roll. he went on to UMBC then towson, but in his junior year decided to switch majors and go all out for his passion, music. he was accepted (no college to which he applied turned him down) and he's now a jazz performance major, and back on the dean's list. my younger son is community college pursuing a psych major, and plans to get his bachelor's from shepherd before deciding where to do his post-grad work. he's also on the honor roll and phi theta kappa.
we didn't homeschool because of bad experiences in public school. my boys are both very social, easy-going fellows who enjoyed school, and in my older son's case, a brief stint in a private christian school. i decided to homeschool them because what i didn't see happening in institutions was a passion for the learning process itself being instilled. i didn't want to hear groans when it came time to open a textbook or go to the library to research something. at home they learned not only facts, but self-motivation and the tools to pursue their own interests. they missed nothing when it came to socialization when we moved our educational experience home. in fact, the co-ops and groups and organizations we experienced as homeschoolers enriched their 'socialization' more than school could ever have done, although that wasn't why we joined them. we were just following our interests and passions.
i don't have a college degree myself. and yet my kids are thriving there, and show every indication of moving past college to enter exciting fulfilling careers and be better-than-average citizens. and yet you'll hear that without a post-grad degree you can't possibly teach high schoolers properly.
huh.
khairete
S.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I have not read the other responses, so...

Homeschooling can have many wonderful benefits...given your daughters allergies, you can more easily control what she encounters. The public schools are trying to do right by kids with severe allergies, like your daughter and my son, but the result will always end in some type of isolation. My son's friend has severe allergies, more than my son, and because he doesn't want to sit at the special nut free table in the corner, puts his health at risk everyday. His mother doesn't step in because she rather he have friends then feel isolated.
Another benefit of homeschooling is that your child can move at their pace. Faster or slower, as they need, not as the teacher or the class of others needs.

A drawback of homeschooling can be your relationship with your child. When are you Mom when are you the teacher. Second is scheduling. Routine is key, and its easy to be home and think about the laundry, errands, etc. that need to be done.

Also, check with your school district. There are certain programs that the public/private schools will accept should the time come and you decide to send her to regular school.

My Mom homeschooled my sister for a year, for medical reasons. It was the hardest year of her life. They only had one tv, so while my sister was doing her work, she was watching it to. She not a physically fit person, so when field trips and stuff were needed, other family were called in. Then there was the staying up late to grade the work, mailing it in on time, making my sister finish work, etc. After a year, she decided that it was best if my sister went back to school. My sister has since graduated both HS and College, and is working on a teaching certificate.
I also have a coworker who homeschools all of their kids, love it, and wouldn't have it any other way. Their kids are always getting together with friends, teams, church. They have a whole network of homeschooling friends, and they take turns teaching classes, to give the kids some variety.
Good luck!
M.

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