Tips On: Getting Your Child to Share What He/she Is Learning in Kindergarten

Hi Y.,

Before having children I used to be a kindergarten teacher. My oldest daughter is now in kindergarten...it's so fun to be back in the world of kindergarten! This is such a common thing, my extremely talkative daughter even clams up when I ask her what she learned in school. One thing that helps is asking what she can teach me that she learned. Another is asking very specific things like, what song did you sing, what book did you read, what kind of art did you do? Also if it's possible, try to volunteer in the classroom. It really helps to get a feel for what they're doing on a daily basis and it will give you lots of starting points for conversations. Good luck and enjoy this very special year!

Hi!
My friend does this: She says outrageus things like: What did you do in school today? Did you go to the moon? Did you feed a dragin?And then of course the girls says no and laughs and then the mother asks things like: Did you learn the Alphabet and then the girl says yes. etc.

But in general I think you should just sit and talk about other things with her and she will tell you when she feels like it. Don't push her, it is tough being 5 year old anyway...

My kids were much the same - I think a whole days' digest is just too much for them - even into middle school and then in high school they don't want to tell you!

Instead, I ask "what was the best thing that happened today?" or "what was your favorite part of the day?" I think helping them to "bracket" their experience by asking pointed, specific questions really helps.

Uh, join the club? This is very typical of kids of many ages. I have learned to ask more specific questions. "What did you do in art?" "Tell me about your math unit today." That helps some. And if you are really concerned then ask the teacher for a meeting or check with the district for the curriculum.

My son's preschool posts a summary of that days activities on a small dry erase board outside the classroom. I read it before I pick him up. This prompts the discussion on the way home or at dinner that night. I can come up with the right questions to ask based on what the teacher wrote down that day. It sparks his memory and we are generally able to have a nice discussion about what he is learning. You might want to recommend this practice to your daughter's teacher to promote more parent involvement and even volunteer to donate a small dry erase board to get her started!

Hi Y.,

My son (who's 6 and in Kindergarten), along with his friends were the same way in preschool and currently in Kindergarten. They all seem to forget what they did. I realized that they do so many things in one day and go from one activity to another that for their age, it's hard for their brains to process and break down what to tell their parents. As an adult, we're used to processing things that happened in our way in a systematic way and can easily (and chronologically) break it down, they can't.

What I have found helpful with my son is that I ask very specific questions such as: "What did you do in computer class today?" "Did you do anything new?" "Did you play any new games in P.E. today?" "What did you have to do in this new game?" "Who did you play with at recess today?" "Who did you sit next to at lunch today?", etc.

By doing the above, I now find out all sorts of things on a daily basis from my son and he's getting better sharing information in addition to what I asked him.

Good luck and best wishes!

like another post below, we ask our son (who is in kindergarten) to remember just one thing that he learned. usually that's enough of a trigger that he tells a whole story :)!

My daughter is also in Kindergarten. My daughter's teacher sends us a flyer each Monday with what the kids will be working on for the week. The best part of the flyer is that there are always two questions we should ask our kids that relate to what they will be learning/doing that week.

My suggestion would be to ask your daughter's teacher to give you a couple questions to ask your daughter that will help "jog her memory" in regards to what she did at school that day. Or, if you know some of the activities that she has on certain days ask about those specifically (i.e. Did you play tag in PE today? Did you paint in art today?). If she didn't do those specific things in that activity it may help draw her out since she can correct you and say no we didn't play tag, we played catch. Or, yes we did paint--then you can say what did you paint. I find that my daughter becomes most chatty at bedtime because she can prolong going to sleep. So after I tuck her in and read stories we talk about her day. She usually needs some space right after she gets out of school.

Hope this helps.

G. S.

My experience is that it matters as much WHEN you ask as WHAT you ask. Just imagine when you get home from W., and your spouse says, "how was your day? what did you do today?" You might just give an abbreviated answer... or maybe no answer at all because you just want to decompress. We still ask, but we don't usually get much of an answer.

Our kids love talking about their day when they are in the bath or when we lay down for bed. They are relaxed and very responsive to our questions. (I sound like I W. at Guantanamo...) We also find that you have to be pretty specific. Did you play with Joe today? Who did you sit with at lunch? Did George tease Ann again?

You get the picture...

Y.-
It is both a temperment and a development issue for remembering what is going on. Remember, at this age they are very focused on the here and now. Your daughter most likely is not remembering what happening 3 hours ago--- Talk to the teacher and ask for reports instead.

Hi-

My son did the same thing last year in K. So,I started asking him to tell me one really good thing about the day & then one thing that could have gone better or he needed to work on for tomorrow. It then opened the door for more talk about his school day. Does your daughter's teacher use any kind of a reward chart/system? My son's K teachers would give the kids caught-being-good-stars stickers which also helped him talk about his day. Does your daughter's teacher use nay kind of similar reward system that you know about it? That could also be the way to get her talking. Hope this helps & good luck!

Hi Y.,
I would not worry about her sharing what she is learning, she is only a 5 year old and still very much in an imaginary world where time and abstract thinking do not play a role.A lot of parents want to know everything about their children and I do not blame them i am one of them myself but when I started to do the teachertraining realized that we are grown up and can analyze and seem to forget where our children are in their development, as long as they are happy we have accomplished a lot already, good luck for letting things be, C.