Throwing up and Sleep Issues

Hi Kristen,
We tried the "let him sleep in his own puke" a couple of times. It didn't stop.
I moved him to his own bed at about this age, because he was climbing out of his crib. I layed down with him until he slept. My boy was 2 1/2 before he consistently slept throught the night. But I know he felt loved when he started asking me to lay down with him.
I agree that a routine is important. That takes a lot of the anxiety away. They know what's coming. My son and I read a book, then we lay down. I sing a couple of songs, and he's out. That's what worked for us.
Good luck!

I know what you mean my little girl did the same thing. I just started to sleep in her room for a few nights untill she would go to sleep. Hope this helps

I have absolutely no advice. I'm just writing to say I'm so sorry!! That sounds awful. I don't know what I would do either and I wish you luck. These kids!!! What will they think of next to make us cray?

Hi Kristen
PLEASE DON'T LISTEN TO THE SILLY PEOPLE THAT TELL YOU TO LET YOUR BABY CRY - IN HIS OWN VOMIT EVEN! Honestly - some people are sooo out of touch with their hearts! Pick up your little precious son and rock him for ten minutes with some soft music playing (you need to feel relaxed too as he will draw your energy and stay upset if you are), Pat his back in a soothing manner - he could be experiencing digestion issues - (recent dietary changes could cause more tummy bubbles - gas) and what's more, he may be experiencing new awareness that is causing him to experience separation anxiety. Babies change - so fast sometimes too - this is just a stage that - if you can stay loving and patient with him - he will sail right through, and be back to getting to sleep without a lot of help. He is developing his sense of trust right now - give him some extra time and love right now. Love him love him love him.
My name is J. Molina, and I am a Parent Coach. You can check out my website if you are interested. It's www.onemoderndaypriestess.com
good luck! :)

I hate the crying it out method. So cruel! He is crying for a reason. My son doesn't have any issues going down and I nurse and rock him right before. I put him down FULLY awake each time (naps and night) and he now says goodnight and within 5 minutes he's down to sleep on his own. Go with your gut.. if you're feeling like you need to pick him up, rock him, rub his back, fluff his hair, etc. then do it. It's your maternal instincts will keep you in the know more than any book written.

Oh gosh, do not let him cry it out! He is now getting traumatized and panic stricken!

He is also at the age, where he has "separation anxiety" and he needs you.

Imagine... if you were sick or had an emotional trauma/problem.... and your husband told you to cry it out without him and don't come to him for help or hugs or comfort... and told you to just stay in the bedroom and sleep it off and fall asleep because he is tired of hearing you whine and cry about your problems AND that he would NOT keep you company or sleep with you until you stopped it, and he told you that you are just 'manipulating' him on purpose and he will not be trained that way as a Husband? How would YOU feel if your husband told you that whenever you needed him?

I don't mean to be sarcastic... but imagine how your baby feels. DO NOT let him cry it out... he is very panicked about it all... and then, sleep WILL become a HATED time of day for him... you do NOT want him to "learn" that. Sleep and going to sleep, should be just as pleasant as any other time of day. Kids LEARN THAT from, us.

It does not have to be a "battle" or a trauma.
Also, be mindful of the developmental changes they go through, in tandem with the developmental "needs" they have emotionally and mentally... which they need us to help them through it.

It takes routine, and consistency to build up a good pleasant pre-bed and pre-nap routine. Keep it soothing, quiet, and not hyper. Allow him to wind-down before bedtime or nap time first. For me, it takes me about 1/2 hour to get my kids wound-down first, BEFORE bed/nap, THEN they go to bed/nap. Its all about "TRANSITIONING" the child, cuing them as to what is coming up, letting them know verbally "bed time soon, lets get ready..." then doing it together.... and not rushing them.

All the best, I know this is not easy, but it is just one of MANY hardships for the child, and a learning experience for us parents as to how we can help our kids.
Bear in mind, that at each stage of development, sleep quirks DO happen... sleep patterns are not static... but WE can help them have good sleep "habits" by being consistent in a comforting way, instead of battling with them about it.

Take care,
Susan

Why not try letting him sleep with you. If you are working full time, he probably is having separation issues... They cry for a REASON. I'd never say to let him cry it out. How does that show him you'll be there for him when he needs you.
The people who told you that you should ignore him and the throwing up should have to sleep in puke sometime...

Listen to your inner Mommy voice, what does she say your baby needs... You probably all ready have the answer inside you!

Good luck!
R.
Mother of 4 :-)

K.,

I agree with ALL the Mommy's who wrote about 'crying for a reason'. Baby's don't just cry for no reason, he's not trying to manipulate you and this is a child not a pet, he shouldn't be trained but, guided and taught.

There is nothing wrong with picking up a crying child who needs to be reassured that everything is okay. Once a child is used to a certain routine, a change must be done gradually and with careful thought and patience. Cold turkey is not the answer for any change. My little dude is almost 3 and to this day, I have to gradually begin a change and follow through and be consistent.

If you're just letting him cry without some kind of reassurance than he's going to work himself into a frenzy and vomit.

I LOVE the suggestion of putting yourself in his position and trying to find a way to help each other move away from the crying and gagging.

This could be a number of things...growth, seperation anxiety, teething...and those things need to be taken into consideration. Just like one other poster, my son didn't really sleep through the night until just about 2 years old.

I work full-time too, and I find that my son needs MORE of ME during the week when I get home than on the weekends when he knows we have all day. So, our bedtime routine includes cuddling and reading books before he lays down in his bed or my bed...and its what works for us.

Just be patient and relax and talk to your child about what's going on and what you plan to do...talking is key to so many developmental stages.

good luck.

I always try to put myself in my child's shoes when I have an issue that most people say is easy to "fix" with some behavior modification - can you imagine crying in a pen to the point of throwing up and your husband just came in long enough toss you a clean pair of PJs and clean sheets and then left again with hardly a word? More important than knowing proper behavior modifications, I think we need to know the emotion that DRIVES the behavior (there is ALWAYS a reason). At 13 months old I'm guessing your son is either about to start walking or just recently learned - when a new milestone is coming or newly achieved a baby is usually very fussy and clingy due to them being torn between liking the new independence and being scared of getting too far from mommy. He also could be getting his 15 month molars a little early. Or like someone else said, he could be growing. My friends and I have definitely noticed a cycle where sometime around our kids birthdays and then at the half birthday mark a child goes through a rearranging of behaviors and emotions when everything seems mixed up and they are just very "off." This goes on for at least four and a half years (this is my son's age and we just completed a couple of hard weeks ;))... I'm sure it will continue into adulthood - don't you have weeks where you just feel "off"? - I do. So cut him some slack, give him your love and attention, and as I have learned the hard way - don't read too many books, put them down and "read" your child - you know much more about your child and his NEEDS than an author who doesn't even live in your house much less gave birth to and raised your baby from the moment of conception to now (and you know what you want for your child's whole future too!). Good luck with your son - the most frustrating moments seem to last forever, but soon he will be a "walkie talkie" and you'll look at baby pictures and wonder how he turned into a "person" so fast!

I agree with Jennifer. There is so much pressure on moms to have a child who can "put themselves to sleep", but seriously, they are only this small once and really not for a long time. Enjoy rocking him, holding him, and cuddling him to sleep while you can!! Because someday, all you will want to do is hug him and he'll say "Moooom, not in front of my friiiiends!!!" LOL ;o)

Please don't allow your baby to sleep in vomit. Think about it--it's cruel. Would you sleep in your own vomit? I was told to quietly clean the baby up and the crib up, give them a kiss and a hug and put them back in.

Don't let him throw up, it is to traumatic for both of you. TALK to him about sleep time. They really do understand more than you would think. Tell him that it is nap time and let him choose a book or run a cd. I have a routine with my daughter that works well with us. I have a cd that I turn on when it is time to go to sleep, then we rock for two songs and she lays down. She can read her books, but she can't come out.
Talk to him before you put him down. I have found that the more information I give to children, the more they do things the way I want it to work out. It may be that I am just overwhelming them with info and they do it my way to shut me up, but who cares! they do it my way and they aren't as fussy!
Good luck!!!
R.

I wouldn't ignore the throwing up. At the very least, clean him up, clean the bed, etc. But I would look into it further, there may be a reason, other than he is just doing it on purpose to avoid going to sleep. This is coming from a parent who did all the methods to get my older son to sleep through the night, and then found out later he had a medical problem that was keeping him awake and making him hungry all night long, just like he said he was (malapsorption), he was a big kid, too, top of the growth charts. If your gut tells you don't let it go, don't let it go! It may be that there is something wrong with HIS gut. If your pediatrician doesn't find it (and this continues), take him to a gastroenterologist.

Oh I feel your pain. I had the EXACT thing happen with my first baby. perfect sleeper and then this happened for like 4 month when she was 13 months old, it was an absolute nightmare. Good news is she is four and a great sleeper. Anyways, here's what we did. We put her down and then one of us, we took turns, sat outside the door with a bucket and when we heard the vomit about to happen we ran in and let her throw up and did not give her ANY attention or cuddles, because this is why they are doing this, for the attention. Put her back down and sometimes she would throw up three times before finally going to sleep. she got the idea real quick so we only had to do this for 3 days, and she was back to her old sleeping habits. Good Luck! This was an awful time for us I hope you it goes away soon!!

I'd pick him up. I hate barf. I'd rather be trained to pick my son up when he cries not barf. I had a cousin who did that when we were kids and he did it for years. I remember vividly an incident at McDonalds. He wanted to go play on the playground. He'd eaten almost all of his burger and only had a bite or two left. My grandmother told him he couldn't play unless he finished. Right there in the middle of lunch rush on a Saturday my cousin barfed the biggest barf!
Until my son was 15 months he never slept thru the night. Getting him to bed was just as bad. He'd scream for as long as you'd let him. I tried to let him 'cry it out' a few times after 30 minutes or so I'd realize that he wasn't going to stop. I'd pick him up and rock him for only 3 or 4 minutes then put him back in. That way even if he knows that you are going to pick him up if he crys he knows that it won't last long. Good luck.

Our son did the same thing. We moved his dinner time and last bottle up one hour earlier and then bath, reading several books etc. as a routine and that helped immensely. We will lie down in his room for 20 minutes at bedtime, give a good night kiss and then leave the room. At that point if he starts to cry , he doesn't have a "full load" on board to vomit. If he does upchuck, we quietly clean it up as quickly as possible and leave again. He's 2 now and no longer vomits on those rare occasions that we have to let him cry himself to sleep. Good luck, and don't let him become a little tyrant!

It could be a growth spurt. I find that when the babies/kids need more calcium during growth spurts, they can't sleep as well. I recommend BlueBonnett or Lifetime liquid calcium - blueberry flavored. It's not specifically for children, but just giving them a teaspoon to a tablesppon each night before bed helps tremendously!

Good Morning K.,

You may want to consider that your child is developing faster than before. He may be advanced or prodigy level and may want to try new things. You may want to look into books on the Indigo Children and Crystals. You can purchase them from Amazon.com.

Be well.

N.

I liked the idea that the person below had, standing outside the door with a bucket, and it only took them 3 days. It sounds cruel, and maybe it is, but it only took them 3 days instead of at least another year of sleepless nights. My daughter didn't throw up going to sleep, but around age 14 mos, when I tried to leave her with childcare while attending church, or childcare while at the gym, she would start to cry, and she would make herself throw up within 30 seconds! Most kids have to get all worked up before they vomit, but somehow she would just cry a little, then throw up. Anyway, at church and the gym, I always had to come back to get her of course, so what I did was take turns with my husband for church, just go every other week, and only go to the gym when my husband was home to watch her, then by the time she was two years, we tried it again and she forgot about vomiting and did fine. Maybe what you can do is think of something else for a few months, or until he's two, then try again and see if he still vomits. I wish you luck! My kids are older now and all those things are so hard when they are small, but now there are new dramas in life when they are older! It never ends. But it's all worth it.

his brain development needs more interaction at this particular time. leaving him alone only sends wrong messages. http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html
the article does not have the best lay out, but keep reading it'll get to sleep in the middle of the page.
Good Luck
V.

I dont really have any advice on how to combat this but I do know that he will learn that barfing will get a response from you. That is what my little bro. figured out when he was 2ish. Any time he did not want my mom to leave he would barf. It was kind of a control thing. Good luck.

Hi K.,
I have a neighbor and best friend who has a daughter that does exactly the same. She is a great kid but she knows whent get the parents attention by doing just that. She starts off whinning, then she gets serious, then she pushes herself to throwing up. They ignored it at times but she lets out a sound that makes other neighbrs think they are killing her...she too, feels like she is trained herself by her child to pick her up. She refuses to discipline her or make her mad because she is the only child, she will walk right up and snatch other people's food, if they are in other folks home, she will terrorize and break things in the home and the mother refuses to say anything or she will let out a sound of loud scream and throwing up. THis child ends up bullying other children and ensures she wins but its the crying and throwing up that will scare the mom if the mom says or tells her to "stop." If this three year old wants to drink coffee, she will get it. if she messes with the cigarette, she will get it. otherwise, there goes the scream and throwing up. the mother thinks its the right thing to do not to discipline or set any limit for she is the only child. Every parent is entitled to how they raise their children the way they see fit in their own ways. But stepping outside the box and try and see someone else's child doing exactly the same, might give you and idea if you disagree to continue your child to take control of you as parent, or give in to your child's demands without any set limits. It is no surprising that even children at such young age, know exactly how to get away with things and fuses things in to their demands :) Try another option. slowly and firmly set your grounds. I'm sure if you let him carry on, he will eventually give in and give up knowing he is the child and you are the mom and parent :). You let him/her hit your softest spot, you will be the one to give in and give up :)

First I would take him to his doctor or call his dr. and tell dr. what is happening.
This is a old response I had written before.
I was told you can never spoil a baby by a CHOC doctor. I agree with the other feedback you should coddle him as much as he needs. Like Lisa Z says time flies by so fast. Try and cherish this time with your him. I would hold him on the sofa and rest with him there. I was so tired. It gets easier just so you know. I was told also that meeting his needs now will make him more secure later. This seems true for me.
Susie
You have years to clean your house and I put dinner in the crock pot and that saves lots of time too.
I would love him as much as he needs. He might have a tummy ache and that why he wants held and love from his mommy. He needs love and hugs.
Sue
my son had that and it hurts, digestive issues or acid reflux. I agree with Laurie D

oh my goodness! i think leaving him in vomit is awful advice. he might be developing a fear of having you gone. it's just a phase and he really needs your love to get through it. ignoring his cries might lead to worse things later. i know he's over a year old, but have you tried putting him in a swing to calm him? we do this every once in a while with our 14 month old (still...as silly as it sounds). then when he's asleep we transfer him to the crib. just an idea. good luck! remember it's just a phase. you'll get through it.

My son was exactly the same except he either gagged himself until he threw up or one time pooped and wiped it all over himself. I went back in to check on him and it was a mess. I felt like the worst mother ever and never let him cry it out again. I think every child is different, but obviously CIO was not the method for my son. We got through it and gave in and did what we needed to do. I work as well and get up at 5am in the morning and sometimes you just have to do what you have to do in order to get some sleep and be the mommy and wife you want to be for them. For us, it meant he slept in our bed a lot longer than we planned, but he slept well there and felt safe and so did we. My youngest so far seems to be different and is fine sleeping in his room. We'll see how it goes. Do what your heart and instincts say...don't worry about all those people who think you should do it their way.

-M

Is it possible that he's having digestive issues or acid reflux that is making it uncomfortable for him to lay down in his crib and fall asleep when you lay him down for the night? If that's not the issue, then I would suggest you check out the Super Nanny book because it has a pretty good getting your child to sleep on his/her own protocol to follow.

Wishing you a good night's sleep soon.

Oh my gosh, has he always had sleep issues or is this something new? Did it begin after his one year old shots? I would just try to rock him and console him and get him to bed as calmly as possible. I am sorry, sleep stuff is hard. I have three boys and thank God all are great sleepers, but it took some serious work. They are 6, 4 and 1, so I can empathize with what you are going through. I think I remember that with one of them and it must have just eventually gone away. It all becomes a blur. The "Happiest Baby on the Block" books are great for this sort of thing. BUT, if this is something you noticed after vaccinating, I would definitely hold off on doing anymore until he is much older. You do not have to follow the schedule and do them all in the first 2 years. Many people do not vaccinate at all these days or at least wait until the 1-5 crucial formative years are over. Good luck and hang in there!

K., Could he possibly have reflux? Worth investigating...Good luck!

Hi Kristen, In my opinion there is nothing wrong in rocking your son to sleep, I did it with all 3 of mine for night time and nap time, once you rock him to sleep, that's it. You hit the nail on the head when you said he has you trained, he's not supossed to have you trained, you are supossed to have him trained. You are right when you say you can't leave him in a mess of throw up, at the same time, he's doing this to himself because he knows it will get him what he wants, which is mom and or dad coming into his room and cleaning him and picking him up, when he starts you or your husband need to discipline him, don't let it get to the throwing up, I have a 13 month old in my daycare, he cry's alot to get what he wants because is what works at home, here I correct him, I tell him in a normal tone of voice stop fussing, or i tell him hush it up, he's learning, but it's a training process because for the first year of their lives crying was their only form of communication, so some point between infantcy and toddler hood you have to start traing, in my daycare Istart that around 9 to 10 months old,the 13 month old I have only had him for 2 weeks he's learning fast, sorry for going on to much, but I hope it does help. J. L.