Therapist Wanting Patients to Hire Her Family and Buy Stuff

Updated on May 12, 2011
M.O. asks from Lubbock, TX
20 answers

Can I get your opinion on a therapist in town I have been seeing. I told my church group that I was seeing this therapist in hopes of overcoming depression. A lady told me how the therapist pressured other clients into buying things from her and then into selling the products. I called her and asked her and she said she stopped that years ago. This really seems illegal, but I don't know. I think it is unprofessional and taking advantage of clients who are trying to get help.

She has repeatedly mentioned her children need to make extra money and what businesses they do parttime, including redoing houses and selling things for a direct marketing company. I tried to change the subject because it is making me feel used. I won't hire her relatives, but I wonder if this is enough of a reason to switch.

Do you know of any good therapists in Lubbock?

I am visiting family and my cousin had me get my own account so I could get some advice and check back from home. We are remodeling our home and if I mention it stressing me out the doctor says "My son could help you out...." If I ask about my teen "Oh, would you like me to have my daughter call you? She just graduated, has a teen, and knows how to help with this." The daughter just got a college degree in counseling, but I don't want someone I don't know calling me up. She brings up her kids and grandkids.
When she told me I should put all my kids in private school, I asked her how many of her kids and grandkids went to private school.
When I asked why only one of her bullied grandkids goes to private, she told me she couldn't afford it and she didn't want to discuss it anymore.

Do therapists ususally share personal information? I don't know. She does therapy in her home office which I thought was good because she sees me late at night and no one else would have 8pm appointments. Plus, I pay once a month when I get paid and others wanted paid up front. Also, she acts like she cares about all of us and the other therapist I saw was like a reporter, constantly asking me questions. Maybe I don't understand how therapy works. I really want to beat the depression and my doctor said antidepressants and talk therapy are the best way to do it. When I told him about this, he wanted to report her and I begged him not to because I feel so vulnerable. I told her things I would never tell anyone else. I don't know if I could be so open with someone else.

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So What Happened?

According to the state of texas website, anonymous complaints can not really be investigated. Also, by filing the complaint, I am waiving privacy. I do not want my husband to hear what I said because it would make things worse.
I am going to switch without feeling guilty or arguing with her.

Featured Answers

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

This is unethical.
She can have her license, taken away.

There was a Doctor in my city... that on the side was selling nutritional products. He sold them to his patients. Did not force them. But it was a part of his practice.
But this is not allowed. It is not professional.
Anyway, he got kicked out and his license taken away.
He then 'retired.'
Still selling his products though.

You can report her.

IF she is doing this to YOU. Then you have a valid complaint.
But you CANNOT do this, on hearsay and gossip.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Honestly, I have a hard time believing that this question is real. On the off chance that it is, that is wildly unethical and you should report her.

3 moms found this helpful

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

6 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Would yo go to an OBGYN that you did not feel comfortable with? Or take your kids to a pediatrician you were not comfortable with?

Therapists = same thing.

Sometimes you have to "shop" around until you find one that you are comfortable with. I have done therapy - they usually don't share much of their personal lives, and definitely should not be soliciting jobs for their family. This is not appropriate and not conducive to your mental health.

Anyhoo, M. O., please don't give up. But do ask your doctor for another referral and try another therapist. When you discontinue with this one, simply tell her you are switching per your doctor's recommendation - and leave it that. Easier still - send her a letter - that way you don't have to see her and feel pressured.

Good Luck and God Bless

5 moms found this helpful

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Therapists shouldn't be sharing any personal information with their patients. I would report her immediately, or allow your doctor to report her. It's highly unethical and completely out of line.

It almost sounds like she's trying to be your friend, not your doctor.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hmmm-if she is on YOUR clock she shouldn't be talking so much about herself period. This alone would be enough for me to leave...who wants to hear her family woes?? You are there to talk about your own woes!

4 moms found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Switch therapists. This one clearly has boundary issues.

4 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

For me, this crosses the therapist/client line. In their professional capacity, therapists are supposed to be a neutral party who is there for your benefit. My counselor, in all of nine years, only once shared any kind of "services" information with me, and it was just to tell me she rents a great beach cabin which has good rates off season. And no, she was not friends or relatives with the cabin owners.

I'd find a good counselor. They can also do the talk therapy thing, and give you "well what if, when you feel "X", you did "Y" instead of "Z"?" The reason I suggest this is because if you are less trusting of your therapist, then what's the point of doing that work? I found my counselor to be someone I could tell my deepest feelings to without judgment, and she wasn't trying to solve my problems by hiring her family. Your therapist sounds like not the healthiest person in the world, from your description.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sounds like the therapist needs a therapist. What a freak! No this isn't ethical at all. She should not be divulging anything about her personal life with you. And no, she shouldn't be using her job as a way to network for her loser kids who can't find their own way in the world, and to garner extra money on the side for her own personal problems and needs.

Take a clue from the other therapist, she's messed up, and probably needs to be reported to an ethics board. She's abusing her position and privilege and it isn't professional or ethical.

Phooey on the anti-depressants being the only solution. After losing her job and being really upset about it, one of my dearest friends started seeing a therapist a few years back, got put on antidepressants, gained 50 pounds from them and was suicidal. Her fiance told her he'd drop kick her if she didn't stop going to the quack she called her therapist. The therapist just about destroyed her life after he convinced her she was mentally ill and more. She was none of these things, and anyone who knew her well could tell her so. But she hit a rough patch and unfortunately got mixed up with this nut. THankfully, she loved her fiance more than quack therapy, got rid of him, and went on a diet, stopped the antidepressants, got in shape and is better than ever. She shudders when she thinks about the goofy therapist. Needless to say, she has me convinced that therapy is for the birds.

I say in your case, at the very least it is time to find someone new, or just chuck therapy altogether. If you need someone to help you sort things out in life, you might do just as well talking with a close friend or confidante. You'll find the end results are the same... with the exception that you'll still have money in your savings account...and perhaps a little more sanity to boot. Try natural ways to fight your depression. You might be better for it.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

This is very serious, highly unethical and if you report her license will be suspended. Awful behavior.

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I work in therapy. Yes, you need to switch therapists. What you had before is actually closer to talk therapy. It should not be sharing of her own personal life. That is what a friend is for. Maybe the reason you felt so comfortable with her is because it was more like talking to your friend and less like talking to a therapist. Therapists utilize questions, reflection, and process thoughts to help you unravel some of those internalized problems and come up with some of your own solutions. It feels like a lot of questions, but they should also be giving possible ideas and insights into how your thinking and processing situations. This women sounds like she is instead pushing to much of her own personal agenda. I mean even if her daughter could help with that situation, the goal is to have you learn how to solve the situation and problems yourself.

When I was in Lubbock (undergrad for college) I went to a fairly good therapist for a while, but I don't remember her name anymore. I would definitely just research though and test some people out. There should be a good balance and rapport between you two, but not like this.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I think that it's unprofessional. Switching depends on if she pressures you or if she sticks to what you need from her. Did she mention her kids before or after you brought it up? If she can't stop dropping hints about her family, find someone focused on the job at hand. She shouldn't waste your time talking about her kids businesses.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Um..."Do therapists ususally share personal information?" I doubt it. Switch.

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I would laugh and tell her "thanks for telling me which companies to avoid! I would never ever what to make things awkward between us by hiring a relative of yours and I hope you would feel the same about mine! I know I would have to quit having you a therapist if I knew you hired one of my close relatives, it is just too weird!" If she pushes it, ask her if she really wants you to quit therapy with her? if she keeps pushing you might want to suggest that perhaps it is better for her to recommend a different therapist.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Switch NOW. She is completely unprofessional!!! You should let the board know of these actions, I am sure they would want to know this info! No, therapists are not supposed to share personal info. The sessions are for you to talk about you and your issues. Not theirs. If you wanted to do that, you could easily talk to a friend! She is not good for you. Switch to another doctor who will treat you the right way and give you good guidance. Best wishes!

M

2 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

um. so someone at your church group said something, and you're taking it as gospel? (pun not really intended.) has she tried to get YOU to buy things from her?
if she mentions her kids again, tell her courteously and firmly that you would prefer to keep the focus of the conversation on your therapy. if she doesn't, then switch.
but i'm with jane M, this question sounds bogus.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

time to change ... i think she could use a referral to whomever you do find.

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K.P.

answers from Lubbock on

Ann Akin
###-###-####

LOVE HER!

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

You need to file a complaint with the state licensing board. They will investigate and if your complaint can be validated, they will at the least reprimand her for boundary violations.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

MamaMay I loved that response.

J.L. "loser kids"...LOL

My doctor reported my therapist when I was in my 20's because she told me to get a divorce. I didn't mind. I wanted a divorce, but was too scared and even my husband knew it. My husband told the medical doctor and he told on her. I answered the investigators questions but I didn't know she was going to be "let go" and the new place didn't take my insurance so I had to start all over again. I thought it proved she cared about me enough to tell me the truth, but my doctor said a therapist is not to tell me what to do and she was unethical. It is hard to open up, but Hazel said it best about not being able to get anywhere if you don't trust the therapist.

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