Therapist Advice

In a physicians office, a dental office, yes. I think in a therapists office, I can see why they wouldn't. I mean, you are there to help yourself. (Which is so awesome, by the way!!) Is it really helping you, if they take responsibility for your appointments? If you had issues where they though you were a danger to yourself or someone else...of course, that would be different, I think they'd like you to manage your time and appointments...as part of the accountability.

It's just my opinion, and I very well might be in the minority. The important part, is this is probably not a personal jab at you from the therapist. She could have felt you weren't invested, or weren't ready. Therapists have to walk a fine line of being firm, and giving you control. She is probably just trying to appropriately walk that line.

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Well, I'm not trying to be harsh here, but therapist-patient relationships don't work that way...you are a paying customer, not best friends. Therapists sometimes follow up, but most times they don't. Therapy is a two way street in sessions, but it is patient driven. Patients set the tone for the schedule, sessions, and discussions. When you're ready to go back, just call. I'm sure this was nothing personal.

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I love what bug said. The purpose of therapy is different for everyone. It is not a part of her job to check up on you unless you are in crisis. From a human perspective she probably wonders about you and hopes you are well. But her clinical actions will be one that will serve you in whatever capacity she feels may be indicated.

If she's good, she doesn't want to infantilize you. She is actually just trusting you at your word: that you will call if/when help is desired. This is such a challenging lesson. It can be so tough to ask for help. Be proactive, call her and discuss exactly what you wrote on the board. By being willing to be direct with her in your disappointment, you are taking responsibility for your feelings. Not easy.

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K., I would think that she felt that you didn't really want to work with her anymore. She probably doesn't want to pressure you. If in fact you didn't want her help anymore, you wouldn't want her calling you to "see how you are" because you would feel that you would need to actually come out and say "I'm done with you." (Not that you'd put it that way LOL!) It's just that most people would rather just not show up again rather than come out and explain why they don't want to come.

This isn't the case with you, but you can't expect her to know that. She is only going by what you are showing her - not coming back to see her.

Hope this makes sense.
D.

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I am a therapist and we do not make outreach calls to check on a client unless they no-show repeatedly and are a "high risk" client (chronically suicidal, drug addicted etc). Call and make the appt. She will be pleased to have you back.

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Does your Obgyn call to check on you? Kid's pediatrician?
Probably not, eh?
Therapists are "Drs" also, and as such, have full schedules with not a lot of spare time. It is not normally expected that they call to check on you. It is not their job to call their patients and check on them - it is the patients job to schedule appointments and, in that way, take control of their therapy.

Just call her office, schedule another appointment, then you can tell her that you were disappointed that she didn't call and check on you :)

Therapy only works if you stick with it - yup, personal experience.

Good Luck
God Bless

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At most, I could see the therapist's office sending a postcard to see if you wanted to schedule a follow up. However, I understand why they wouldn't. Also, if she is in practice by herself, she probably doesn't have the time to do that for everyone. I would say call and make the appointment yourself. If you are just dying to know, you could ask at your next appointment, although I wouldn't recommend it.

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If you want an appt. then you should call and make an appt.

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K., call your therapist and schedule an appointment with her to check up on things.
Look... one thing about therapy is that it's completely voluntary. (Unless you're court ordered or something). Life gets in the way, sometimes people pull back from therapy because it's too painful to do the work or they think it's not effective or they switch providers. I've dealt with quite a few therapists for my marriage and other things. The people I saw were so busy and even had waiting lists to get in so even if they cared for me and about me, if I didn't take the initiative to schedule and show up, calling me to find out what's going on with me wasn't a service I would have expected.
You forgot to reschedule and time has gone by, maybe she thinks you feel her services are no longer needed. For all she knows, you're sailing along just fine.
I get a card in the mail every year reminding me it's time for an eye exam or a dental cleaning. I don't get a call asking me if my eyes are all right or if I think I have a cavity since the last time I was in.
Her not calling you to check on you is not the same as being "let down" by her. She can't keep track of your emotional well being if you aren't scheduling time to go see her. And, now that you are feeling this way, why don't you just call and make an appointment? Tell her how you feel. She's been thinking you'd call her if you needed her and you were thinking she'd call to check on you. To do what? Schedule an appointment?
You can have a discussion about it and get it off your chest. She's not going to judge you. Take the initiative. Set the time aside and go see her. Check in. Pick up where you left off. Lots of people do that.
Therapists have to be very careful not to get into co-dependant relationships. They are there to help you have the tools to be strong and secure and independent and face challenges. Hey, we all need support and pep talks and check ins. We wouldn't communicate on this site if we didn't.
A therapist isn't going to, or at least they shouldn't, solicit your business.
Therapy is hard. You'd be surprised how many people quit going because doing the raw work can be really painful. And sometimes people just aren't ready. Many times that's manifested in someone being too busy or too much in life is going on or they forget to make appointments and are never heard from again.
It happens a lot.
She can only work with what you give her.
And if you're not making the time a priority for yourself, what is she supposed to do?
I hope this doesn't sound harsh because I don't mean it that way. You can turn this inward and take it personally for another 5 months or you can call her and I bet she'd be happy to see you.

Make the call.
Just my opinion.

Best wishes.

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K., You have some good advice here. I just want to let you know that I have had the same feelings, so you are not "a big baby". I stopped going to church for awhile (close to a year) and never heard from the office, pastor, the committee that I served on, etc. Felt REALLY hurt that no one missed me. I've moved past the hurt and have started attending again,but wanted to let you know that I understand your feelings. Point is, people don't always behave as we think they should--sometimes we have to take the first step. Good luck.

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My dentist calls to check on me, my OB will call and get on my case if I haven't been in, the Pedi will call and check on my son as follow up to things or we are over due but a therapists has never called to see if we need follow up. I think.its the general rule. No worries. Just give her a call!

It isn't part of a therapist's job to call you -- your aren't going to get better until you care enough to take care of yourself. Making the call is how you own and accept responsibility for getting well. Maybe you needed some time off -- therapy is hard work and it sounds like you're ready to tackle your issues.A therapist doesn't take responsibility for you. The ball is in your court--so make this important call for yourself. I'm sure your therapist will be glad to have you back.