Teaching Your Children Charity, Empathy and the Real Purpose of Holidays...

A tradition I have with my kids is that we adopt an angel (child in need - wishlist)... I get each child an angel the same age as they are. We shop together for their angel. I think it helps my kids understand there are kids out there that need underwear, socks, coats, etc. We always buy at least one need and one toy. I feel like this gives my kids some humble view of how much they have... that while other kids are making lists of video games and the coolest trendy toy.. other kids the same age don't have a winter jacket that fits. I also think it helps them understand the holidays should be about appreciating what you have and helping others that aren't as fortunate.

I've done this since before my oldest son was old enough to know... it makes me feel good, and since we adopt kids the same age as mine I have a better idea of what kids that age need and like.

Hope that helps :)

I think the best teacher is observation. They can learn
"good works" watching it practiced by the parents. Take them with you and answer questions (3 year old). Why am I here? LOL.

We participate in Operation Christmas Child. We make up shoe boxes full of of small toys, candy, personal hygiene products, etc that go to children all over the world. My oldest really enjoys choosing the gifts and packing them up. Now there is an option to learn where your family's box goes, so we looked that up on the map and learned a little bit about life there, too. Here is a link:

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/

Peace...

I reinforce all through out the year that there is always someone who is worse off and that we should be thankful for what we have rather than to whine about what we do not. I have always "used" for lack of a better term Christmas as a time to reinforce "giving" we always put money in the Salvation Army buckets when we pass. In past years we have sponsored a family, the past few years money has been tight so instead we usually pick one wish gift. We also always go through all of our toys and also out grown coats and donate them. It is never too young to start. You can also go to an old folks retirement community and spend time with some of the residents, bake cookies, sing Christmas carols, some have adopt a grandparent program...sadly in this day and age there are elderly who have no family. Find out if there are older couples in your church or community and take cookies, or invite them to a meal. Charity can start at home...ask at your child's daycare, maybe they need donations of simple things like boxes of crayons or gloves for children who do not have any. Have your kids start collecting cans and donate the money to a worthwhile organization...the possibilities are endless, the lessons they learn are priceless and will last a lifetime. I hope you get many great ideas!

Hi Momma,
I know a family that goes down to the local shelter on Thanksgiving and volunteers to serve the meal. At Christmas, they do something similar. They do sometimes exchange small gifts in honor of Christmas, but they also use their money to donate to a cheritable cause. The parents choose places like Heifer International or World Vision. They have Christmas catalogues where you can donate a cow or a goat to a family in a poor country. This animal not only provides milk for the family, but generates income or property for the family, and if they have multiples, they can breed them, sell them for meat or cash for more, etc. It is an open ended gift in your name.
Lastly, there are places like WWF, the breast cancer site, the rainforest site, the children's site (let me find a link for you) where you can by free trade items that support other cultures, and items that donate money back into those economies.
Your babies are small, but programs like Angel Tree are good, and anything where they are serving is good. Maybe start now (with the little one in a baby pack on your back) and do the service projects.
You could also encourage your little one to help rake leaves in a neighbors yard, etc. Small services for the holidays, from baking to serving to purchasing, will teach them why you celebrate what you celebrate, and in the same honor, give them a small gift to let them know that they are precious to you.
Good luck mama!
-E. M

hello
of course volunteering is always a good idea but if you don't have the time for that, I think charity and gratitude can be taught in the everyday events of our lives. Example, I always have my son write a thank you note (not via email ) but an actual PAPER one that he , himself decorates. This makes him have to really consider his thank you and make it special. I always tell him , if someone can take the time to buy you a gift, you can take the time to thank them. Additionally, while yes, we also donate to all of the above, we also do special things for people in our lives. might be bringing grandma a bouquet of flowers just because or sending an aunt and uncle a card.
again, it's through the simple things that he is learning charity and now often says, I want to do this or that for so and so , just like you mamma. I mean he has a keen sense of what giving is. Lastly, he has seen me volunteer quite often, in fact I am going down to his school this am. I believe that if you can show by example, they follow eventually follow your lead.

best of luck

If they go with you to do some volunteering activities that will go a long way. We started the Toys for Tots party 4 years ago when our oldest was 3, the next was 18 months, and I was about 4 months pregnant with number 3. It is GREAT! My kids are involved in all of the planning. They help me bake the cupcakes, design the invitations, pick up and wrap the Thank You Gifts ($1 coloring books). They also help set up, clean up, and take the toys to donate. It is a HUGE thing for them because they see it start to finish. Visiting a nursing home and "adopting" a grandparent is another great thing! I have not done that yet, but it is :o). Also, working at a food bank and giving out the food. The 3 year old could hand out utensils or something. Or even just helping people around the neighborhood that need it. it's so hard to teach little ones, but such a great thing! Way to go mama!

What about volunteering for Meals on Wheels and dropping off food to elderly people who would also enjoy the smiles of your youngsters? I am sure that many of them would love to get pictures that your 3 year old has colored or hear songs he has learned. Sometimes you can sign up for route or just volunteer to fill in-this is something you could do year round.
I wish more people would teach these important attributes to their children when they are young. Since you are modeling giving and charity and helping others, your children are getting a very important message.

You could pick a neighbor and do the 12 days of Christmas to them (for the 12 days before Christmas you leave something at their door and then on Christmas eve you let them know who it was)
I remember someone doing this to us a couple years ago, they had a small child and it was so fun. They always left very simple things, sometimes a treat, sometimes a simple dollar store Christmas thing but it was so fun to know someone was thinking of us. We plan on doing it to someone else this year.

My daughter just turned five. I've spent the last couple of weeks planning a big Halloween party for my neighbourhood. It was yesterday and it was a blast! The cost of admission was a non-perishable food item for the Contra Costa food bank. We had a scale and weighed up the food so the kids could see how many pounds of food they got. We got about 130 pounds of canned and dried goods! No need to shove the message down their throats; I'm certain many of them "got" the idea.

A few days ago, my daughter and I started looking through the Save The Children catalogue. We talked about poverty and how there are poor people here, there, and everywhere. We connected it to the Food Bank donations and she saw what she wanted to buy someone -- a goat, I think it was. We've been doing a money-jar project to help her learn her coins and their values, so she said "I'll give all the money from my money jars!"

So yeah, she gets it! That's all you need to do. Make sure they get it, without lectures, but with a positive attitude.

visit a nursering home

I like whay Betsy C. has to say. On a personal note, I used to take our children to the nursing home once a month with our Women's Church group (before we moved, that is) and the residents LOVED it!!!! It gave them such joy to see children just being children. They especially loved to sing and dance for the residents and I believe it started them on a positive road to respecting elders and having compassion for others. The visits were not too long either, just long enough to have fun and not over-do-it for very young children (my daughter was 18 mos. old when we started). Hope this helps!

Your compassionate attitude is already teaching them. Betsy C. had numerous good ideas for things that you can do.

Each year for Thanksgiving and Christmas our community food bank gives out food boxes to all of its clients. all of the volunteers who usually rotate the weekly box packing shifts all converge at a local church and work together to pack 300+ boxes. My son has been going with me to do this sincehe was 9 months old. We usually work the cardboard break down station. As a 5 year old he really enjoys gathering the empty boxes that the canned food is coming out of and bringing back to me to break down. He talks about the food boxes for those who don't have much food all year long and is now big enough to help,more than get in the way,during the weekly packing events when he isn't in school.

The biggest thing we do now (kids are 4 and 2) is to "adopt" a few children over the holidays from giving trees, angel trees and a preschool group my son's old school sends out. In the future I DO want to help out (not just at Christmas) at some shelters and kitchens, but at their ages right now, that's not really workable. Last year when my oldest was 3, he really seemed to "get" what we were doing as we shopped for the little boy we adopted and our angel tree recipient. I explained several times that the little boy(they supply a list of needs, and if you want to get a few toys, you can choose) was getting socks, a coat, thermal undies, etc. because some people didn't have any money and they couldn't buy stuff like that. I told him that we were getting him some Spiderman toys because his sheet said he really liked that, and his mommy and daddy couldn't afford to wrap any gifts for him under the tree. He was genuinely surprised to find out some people had no money, and genuinely happy to give something to one of those people, so I felt like it was a wonderful experience -and one we'll repeat every year. I told him roughly the same thing about the angel tree from our church (for Rwandan refugees in this country) -and Toys for Tots.

My advice would be to budget out how much you can afford to spend regarding the charity of your choice and then go from there. Even if it's only one toy for Toys for Tots or some warm clothing -take them on the shopping trip and talk to them about it. As they grow, you can do more "hands on" helping! ***Another great thing you can do year -round is let them help you pack a box to send to a soldier. If you don't know someone personally, google stuff like "adopt a soldier" or "send packages to troops" and you'll get info for where to pick up some names. Things of this nature are a great teaching experience too!

I think the best ways at that age are to have the child help you go through their clothes and toys to find things to donate to others. I am not sure there are many places that allow children that age to volunteer (at least I haven't found any), so that's kind of hard. But, for them to "give up" something of their own to give to someone less fortunate makes a big impact. Also, having them help pick out a toy at the store that they are going to give away to someone else (i.e. they don't get to keep it!) is also a big thing for a 3 year old. I'll be interested to read some of the other responses to see if anyone has actual volunteering ideas. I am a SAHM with a 2 and 4 (almost 5) year old and would love to take them somewhere to "do" something also, but I haven't found anywhere that lets kids that age participate. Great question! I think keeping your kids involved in the donations and buying for others throughout the year creates a generous spirit that will stay with them. Best of luck to you!

H., as the mother of 5 and the Grandmother of several some the same age as yours, I wanted to give you encouragement in teaching your family about giving service. We started when they were very young by buying toys for older teens for the Marines at the holidays( little ones get things but after 10 it gets rare), by donating food, and helping to deliver it or spending time at the food banks. Our 2-3 year old's help us sort food and are happy little campers to do it. They may not understand it now you think-- but when they are in the habit of it then it becomes a life long tradition. We did it and now our children do it with thier children and have even gotten thier friends to participate. There are many ways and needs out there and you can check with any school, or church, or Boy Scout office to see what you can do to help fill a need. I know that I am told often how grateful they are to serve hot meals, buy a coat or blanket for someone. It will bless the lives of many that you are not ever going to know about. We made it a tradition to always get a gift for someone else that was as great as the ones we bought our own children to give away. Now what we do since several are out of work is pool our money to do it.