So I am the classroom parent for my son's first grade class. I was asked by other parents to organize a gift from the class. I sent a letter home with all of the kids a few weeks ago letting them know that I would get a gift from the class if they wanted to donate money. Out of 27 children, I have only received money from 5 parents (they have a "due date" of this Friday). I realize some letters were possibly lost between school and home, some don't want to donate or even some money may have been lost between their home and mine. (I really hope the last one is not the case. I did give them the option to contact me to meet up.) My question is, should the card with the gift be from "the whole class" or just the individuals that have donated? I am not really concerned about who gets the credit for the gift. I just want to make sure I'm following the proper gift giving etiquette :)
Added: No kids will be actually signing the card. I am the one filling out the card. The gift will be given to her the last day before winter break. As I have seen in the past, the teacher waits until after school to open the gifts. So in the end, the only person who will know who contributed (if there were individual names on the card) would be the teacher.
It's just plain mean-spirited to NOT have the entire class sign the card.
It's exclusionary. It's also presumptuous to assume that all want to or can give. For what? To set kids up for ridicule a d bad feelings be ause of their parents decision or finances.
When faced with this in preschool, and room moms that were NOT going to let every child sign, I vowed never to be involved in a group gift again.
You ALWAYS Say from the WHOLE CLASS.
I agree with FC Mommy. Always say the WHOLE class.
Who does it hurt to say "everyone?" No one.
Who does it hurt to say "from these 10 families...(and not the other 5)? The other 5 kiddos.
Maybe they want to do something else. Maybe they can't afford anything else. I am sure their hearts and thoughts are still there. Don't austracize (sp?) a kid for not having $$ to contribute.
When I was teaching preschool, I hated this kind of thing. Have you ever considered that you may have families who aren't donating because they CAN"T donate? I finally put a stop to gift giving, unless it was a picture from the child. Gifts, in my opinion, are not appropriate, because it really shows the difference between those who can, and those who can't. How would you feel if you couldn't donate and your child was embarrassd by being left out?
Make the present from the whole class without mentioning who donated money, or don't do it at all. Be inclusive, not exclusive.
I think it is going to probably look like a pretty cheap gift if only 5 out of 27 contributed. I completely disagree with the other posters that all names should be on the card. I don't contribute to a group gift because I like to do my own gift so I would never expect my name to be on the gift that I did not contribute to. Also, although some families may not be able to chip in for a group gift, I don't think that there are too many children that don't have the means to make a thank you /Christmas/ holiday card for the teacher.
Hopefully you will get more replies by Friday.
The correct thing to do is say it's from the whole class. That is what our room mother was instructed to say. Upon speaking to her I found out only she and I would have contributed to a class gift so I am not ok with that. If it was just a small fraction of the class who for whatever reason can not afford or do not wish to participate then that would be fine but in your case 5 out out of 27? I guess go ahead and say from the whole class because that is the "right" thing to do but if parents ask about the whole affair, be upfront about how many people contributed. I can understand your frustration. Can you send out an email reminder?
I am a room mom and am in the process of that. I fully intend to have the kids who contributed sign a card.
I would do a second notice and then do what Laura M. said about saying from the whole class with a special thanks to so and so who contributed. I would probably be offended if I donated money and other people who didnt got credit.
When I was the room mom for my daughters' classes, I would collect a group gift and I would ask each participating child to include a holiday greeting for the teacher with their money. The gift would be given to the teacher from "the class" but would include the cards from the contributing children. It always bugged me that some parents would ride the coat tails of the group gift. I also think this method encouraged better particpation, like 20 out of 25 kids participating.
Hmmm, I am not sure.
This is a tough one, because people have asked me to go in on a present before for the teachers, but I have declined because I like to do my own thing.
I like for my kid to enjoy the giving process with her teacher.
I wonder if thats what some parents are doing.
I guess that would be weird to put the whole class and then some kids do a separate gift.
Im stumped on this one.
That is why I like doing my own thing.
The room parent for my son's room sent a note home like yours. We never got it (don't know if my so lost it, if I overlooked it, if he was sick that day). She sent out a second note. It was very nicely worded. Just letting us know that if we had intended to contribute that there was still time and to put it in an envelope with her son's name on it. I was very grateful that she took the time to try again. I sent in our money the next day.
Could you send out another note tomorrow and give them until Monday? Make it clear that they do not have to do this but that people are very busy right now and you want to give them another chance.
It's hard to be a room parent, so please know that you are appreciated!
I am usually the room mom and I don't do a class gift for this reason. I would only sign the child's name if the family contributed. You don't want Mrs. Smith writing a Thank You note to Tommy for the Kohl's gift card, if his family never contributed--that might be hurtful for the parents. Also, what if Tommy's parents do not like Mrs. Smith and are purposely NOT giving her a gift--then they get a Thank You note?
You could go in and do a class project--create a gift that all kids help make. Like, have each child put their thumbprint on a pot. Then give the teacher the pot with a Poinsettia in it.
How about signing it,
"From the first grade class of (fill in name) and a special thanks to (insert the names of the kids/families that donated cash)"? This way, it's from the entire class and yet the ones who really donated are mentioned & the parent(s) will feel like they are appreciated.
Easy fix, in my thoughts, anyway. :)
