Class Gift Etiquette

Always include all of the name. You do not always know what is going on in different homes.

Also do not fret about it, we never know when we may end up in the same situation. I always try to just take the high road in these cases.. The teachers know not everyone contributes..

Also thank you for taking on this job. I am amazed that it always seems to be the same parents every year taking on these responsibilities. You are appreciated..

This is a CLASS gift, so I certainly wouldnt make the children who's parents either forgot or couldnt afford to make a contribution feel left out. I personally wouldnt put ANY names on it, I would just simply sign the card from "Grateful Parents" or something like that. Don't worry yourself over it, there may be something going on in those families that you are not aware of, maybe Mom just got laid off or Dad has been sick and unable to work.
Don't let frustrations ruin the joy of telling the teacher how much you appreciate the love and care she has shown for the children all year long.

I think you include all the names. Some people just simply don't do an end of the year gift. I have one mom this year tell me her daughter has the teacher next year and she plans on saving the money and getting her something extra special after two years. For others the end of the school year sneaks up and they forget to budget in gift money. I'm always forgetting one thing or another as a single mom, and you can send home two letters to me, but if I've been working (I work night shift) theres a good chance I was never awake when a bank was open. I don't carry cash on me either. There are sooo soo many people barely making it day to day that you wouldn't expect. I volunteered at school with a mom on picture day that I knew somewhat well, and she said she couldn't afford pictures if she hadn't volunteered. She also discussed how her oldest stresses out when she hears which bill they have decided to not pay that month. By where they live, I never would have guessed that. Simply try to keep an open mind. Say thank you from the class.

We had the same thing at our school. There are 19 kids and the same 10 parents contribute and volunteer. We always include all of the kids. I don't think it's fair to punish them because of their parents. It would mean a lot to the teacher too.

I would only include the 11 that contributed.

Just the ones who contributed.....

I can totally relate!! This year was my son's first year in pre-school, and obviously it was also all of his classmates first school experience as well. They had a lead teacher & a co-teacher. these two ladies were AMAZING!! They worked hard, many times using their own personal time & I know they spent money out of their own pockets. I thought of the class gift idea arund the holidays as well, and began to talk about it with other Moms & Dads. I took charge of it by the last month of school & wrote a letter to be sent home with each child. My letter very specifically stated the amount we thought was far and the fact that any amount would be appreciated as I know not everyone 'feels comfortable' with the amount stated. I gave ample time, my phone # and my email. Out of 14 kids, I got money from 11 people. I struggled with what to put on the card & decided to list the 11 names, and I did leave the other off. I did not feel good about it, but it seemed like the right/fair thing to do. I know his teachers being the polite people they are, wrote a card thanking everyone.
My son does go to a private school, which does require tution, but we are in a very working class area. I took that into consideration. All I would have liked was a text, call or email from the 3 families just kind of RSVP'ing that they chose not to participate. Instead, I felt awkward, like maybe they didn't see the letter, or maybe they thought they really couldn't give less.
Either way, both teachers received an AWESOME sized gift card to a very nice place & they were both touched. At the end of it all, that's all that really mattered to me. The teachers felt the warmth & kindness intended by the gift. I'll do it again next year :)

UGHHHH...you have touched on my pet peeve! I have been in charge of the class gift many times and this always happens. As much as you want to list names you cannot. Just wouldn't be right. It is SO annoying how these parents don't send the $ in and still get included for the gift-I always wonder how intentional it is. And before anybody says that its not fair of me to say that cause they can't afford it I say baloney-I don't care how much $$ I get! One mom sent in only $2 this year and I was perfectly fine with it. IT is ABSOLUTELY the principle that has me upset. It is the CLASS GIFT! And I don't care if you already have that mug picked out with #1 Teacher on it and you tell me that you are sending in your own gift. You are still part of the class and will be recognized for a gift that you did not contribute to.

On my list to do today is to get my son't teachers present where I will contribute 4 times as much as I normally would b/c of the parents who didn't chip in. I am doing this b/c his teacher is amazing and deserves a much better present than the $ donated could buy.

Thanks for letting me vent!

So families may be struggling and you just don't know it, but as a teacher I always send a thank you note to those students who buy something for me at the end of the year. So I would probably put the kids names that contributed. Either way I am sure the teacher will appreciate the thoughtfulness.

Well, it may not even be a matter of what you think people can afford or not. If a few moms decide they are going to take on organizing selecting a group gift, I don't think any family is under any obligation whatsoever to contribute, if they choose not to. Although it is a very nice gesture, not everyone agrees with the "group gift" idea, or being told "we've decided everyone should contribute "x" amount." Some people just prefer to do their own thing or have their kids make handmade thank you cards. I don't think there is any good reason to exclude any kid from signing a card that goes with the "class gift"