Until a few days ago I thought my 2 y.o. daughter's tantrums could not get any worse (I thought she simply ran out of existing possibilities), I was wrong. What she is up to (screaming, like I would be skinning her or doing similar things....) is impossible to describe. Anybody else experiencing issues like that? I don't mean a little crying, and screaming. This can go for 1-2 hrs for her, and she will not let be touched or helped.
Please help, any ideas are welcome.
Thanks
Lilla
Hi,
I just want to let everybody know how the tantrum situation presents itself for today. About 10 days after my post for help my daughter went back to "normal." All on her own! All of the sudden! She cries and throws fits when not given what she wants but nothing that I have to ask myself a question like "is something wrong with her?" As of last week she is now officailly two years old and we probably aren't over the terrible twos yet but what I am trying to say is that I got a taste what some of us have to put up with. Before I had my child I was quick to think that it is the fault of parents to allow it to get that far. Today, as a mom of a 2 years old I have to say... it is not all about the parents and raising, I think some of our kids just have to put us up the maximum number of tests to find out what they can get away with.
I have to admit and I am proud of myself for one thing: I have not given in once! It was hard, but I just let her cry and scream all she needed. A few days into the temper tantrums (that went from 1 tantrum a day lasting about 2 hrs, to 3-4 a day lasting about 30 min- 1 hr each) she started isolating herself to the corner in the bathroom, lay there on the tile and cry hard (she would not accept anything soft to lay her head on). About 3 days later she started going to her bedroom and place her hands and head on the glider and rock herself like that for about 30 min until she fell asleep. The one day..... puff! I got my baby back :)
I want to say thank you for all the great advise and literature that you guys recommended. I read a few books and I am sure along the road I will put the advise to a good use.
Thanks to all of you one more time
Lilla (mom of a happy "again" baby girl)
you should read "The Strong Willed Child" by James Dobson. It will help greatly. It's been a best seller for many years. best of luck. L.
Hi Lilla,
I read (and actually did CEU's) for the book The Difficult Child by Stanley Turecki. Here is the link to the book on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553344463/102-###-###-#...
My 5 y/o daughter was (and occassionally still is) the screamer, temper thrower etc... My neighbor watched her throw a fit one day in the backyard and commented that she always was scared I was hurting Zoe until she realized most of the time no one was near her when she was screaming!
Anway, the book address some of these issues....
Hope it helps!
D.
Dr,Kevin Leman is fantastic....all his books are at library. Hang in there...they will eventually learn to control their emotions and their desire to "be in control" but it takes a strong and determined mama. you can do it!
Hi, Lilla:
My now-four-year-old boy started having INCREDIBLE tantrums at age 2.5. I feel your pain!
We started seeing a family therapist for him at age 3, simply because he was literally uncontrollable when he tantrumed, he did it sooo often, and sometimes he hurt himself while angry. He has calmed down alot due to a combination of factors, but some of the books that helped us were:
The Out-of-Sync Child, by Carol Stock Kranowitz
The Difficult Child, by Stanley Turecki
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, by Becky A. Bailey
Additionally, our therapist recommended the Love and Logic approach to dealing with behavioral issues, which has helped quite a bit. Find out more about Love and Logic at http://www.loveandlogic.com/ .
Best to you!
L.
http://www.drleman.com/books-parenting/making-children-mi...
Lilla, I was a single parent to a 2 yr. old son when I met my fiancee who also had a 2 yr old girl and 3.5 year old boy. I am familiar with tantrums but nothing as severe as what you're describing. I found Dr. Kevin Leman's book; "Making children mind without losing yours" to be very helpful and I now try to shape my parenting style based on his advice. The above link will take you to his website and give you some information about the book. Best of luck....L.
Lilla,
I recommend the DVD "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" it specifically addresses toddler tantrums. You may be able to borrow it from your local library. It is very effective and does NOT involve spanking.
Good Luck,
M.
It seems that you have received some really great advice already. In addition to "Love and Logic" and "The Out Of Sync Child", I would encourage you to read "You Can't Make Me But I Can Be Persuaded For Your Strong Willed Child" by Cynthia Ulrich. I found Dobson's "Strong Willed Child" to be a slow read and Ulrich's book to be a much faster read, and she consistently references Dobson in her book.
First I want to say how hard that must be for you! Hope you feel better about this soon. I've had good success with a book called "Love and Logic". They wrote one from pre schoolers and it has a some great tips on working through this period with little ones. Give it a try.
L.
www.lizzyzinn.com
