Tantrums - Portland,ME

This will seem strange, but I'll tell you from my own experience it DOES work. I have a son who was receiving early intervention for a speech delay, and one thing that was emphasized was time limits. Time limits help to transition kids from one activity to another. Try it at home first. When he is playing with a toy that he likes tell him "one more minute, and we will be all done with the toy." Then begin something new. Play with something else, or have a snack. If he's in the tub say "one more minute and we will be all done". Then drain the tub. You can carry this concept over to the park. If you are consistant it should really help. I know it sounds a little lame, but it works.

Don't give in to his tantrums!!! I have tried so much in the past the only thing I have figured out is just to make light of the horrible situation. I give him a 10 minute warning and then a 5 minute warning. If he throws a fit, Pick him up, carry him out, kicking and screaming. I tell him, "I know you think mommy is so mean, but this is when we are leaving, and we are leaving now." or "oh, I know you've had such a hard day playing and having fun, but it's time to go home and have dinner." I keep a smile on my face and I just don't get flustered!!! A couple weeks ago my 4 year old was misbehaving. I told him if he did it again we would leave. He did it again, so I picked up my 1 year old and started to leave. He is a little past the kicking phase, but the screaming part of the tantrum is still there! He screamed "I hate you, mommy!". I smiled and then saw a lady next to my car laugh. She says to me, "I'm sorry to laugh at you but I'm just glad I'm not the only one who goes through this." So just because you see other parents leaving with children calmly doesn't mean they don't go through it too at one point or another. Good luck

Hi M.

Our sons are only weeks apart. My son was born April 26.
When we are anywhere, I always tell Ryan..."10 minutes, and then it is time to go." I count down. I find that it helps a lot.
If he throughs a fit at all, it is usually because he is over tired, and I just pick him up and go. Remember, your son isn't the only child to throw a tantrum and he won't be the last. Ignore stares of others, pick and up and go. Gentally speak to your son. I find the softer I speak, the sooner my son calms down. Good luck.

I am glad I am not the only one with this problem. My 3yo daughter throws tantrums too. Although she throws bigger ones when we get home and she realises we didn't go anywhere else. I usually end up carrying her into the house. I don't know what else to do. I just wanted to let you know that you weren't alone.

This might sound way too simple, but sometimes simple things work the best. When it's time to leave (after, of course, giving the 2 or 3 minute warning that we are leaving in a few minutes)just tell your son "say bye swing, bye slide, bye park. we'll see you soon." I've been doing this with my twin sons since they were young enough to go to the park and now they are 4 1/2 and it still works. It gives them comfort knowing they come back to the park again. Good Luck, I hope it works!

My oldest left over my shoulder kicking and screaming. Try before you get to where ever by explaining that when mommy says its time to go it is time to go and if you have a tantrum we will not go back (and on play dates we will not be invited back). I still give my speal at times and my girls (10,and 8) are good about leaving. Stick with it!

Good Luck

My daughter is the same way and she is 4. I found that telling her about a half hour before that she has a few more minutes to play has helped. The I just sort of count down 15min, 10min, 5min so on. That way she has time to adjust to leaving. If she cries then I just explain that I gave her time and that was special. Most of the time she is okay after that!! Good Luck I know how frustrating it can be.

Hello,

I have noticed that if I give them a time frame of when it's time to leave and remind them again and again, it is better then just picking up and leaving. If my 7 yr old starts to cry and have a fit then we tell him that the next fun thing we plan he will not go to if he continues with his fit. We have a rule in our house (no fits). He generally stops and realizes that we have just did some fun things and he wants to do more so he listens. If he doesn't stop I know he is tired and needs a nap. Hope this helped.

Aliza

take him to bradley pedi-partial great program...they teach u and the child ways how to deal with it..

Hi, M....

I haven't seen any of the other responses yet but I'd be willing to bet you're going to get a lot of ppl telling you to watch The Nanny. She's GREAT at helping parents deal with temper tantrums. Some of the ones I've seen on her show are downright outrageous, but she shows people how to handle it amazingly. Seems to me the keys are to set boundaries, be clear about expections, follow through on consequences and be clear about the follow through and the next steps, if any are needed. It's not always easy to follow through, but I tell ya, if you don't nip this in the bud now, you'll have a MUCH harder time later on...

Hang in there...you'll get it all under control...

Take care...

R.

do you give him warnings that it's almost time to go?? Start at "we are leaving in 20 mins" and work your way down every 5 minutes.. and before you go to whereever you are going, tell him, when I say it's time to go, it's time to go - if you throw a fit, we won't go back. and stick to it. Some kids have a really hard time changing gears and need a lot of lead time to process it.

i have a near 5 year old with the same problem. does great while we are there but has a melt down when its time to go. i have started by talking to him and letting him know that when its time to leave that he needs to listen and their will be no crying or having a fit or it will be awhile before we go again. Its been working great, if he starts to get upset i just remind him what we talked about when its time to go. I have a 3 year old also and while i havent had any issues with her, i know she would understand that too. good luck!

I have 3 children 5, 4, and 2. I have used the warning tactic with all my children. For example "We are leaving in 5 minutes" I work my way down in time until it is time to go. I have found that this will lessen the tantrums greatly.

Good luck!

I have two sons 7 and 10. Public tantrums are my specialty. First of all don't worry about what people think. Your child is having a hard time transitioning. A couple of suggestions would be to give him warnings so he can start to prepare. You could have a "special box" of little prizes, stickers, crackers etc.. and when its time to leave you can tell him if he walks to the car without a fuss he can choose something from the special box. Something else to try is to find some music he likes and reward him by putting the music on. The trick is to redirect him. Lots of humor, love and patience and soon the tantrums should lessen.

Children have tantrums for one reason.....because it works. If it doesn't work, the tantrums stop. So giving in to them is rewarding them and so the cycle continues. Why wouldn't it? It's working.

But telling them "I understand you are upset and when you are ready to talk about it, just let me know" then walk away, leaving them is a safe place (like their room). That works at home. In public? What do they like least? Sitting in the car (in your sight) alone? Having to be carried? Find out what it is and do it. Never, ever, EVER give in to what they want while they are throwing a fit to get it. Each time you do, you have untaught them everything you tried to teach them....and then it takes longer the next time.

We teach people how to treat us...and that means our kids too.