27 answers

Talking to My 9 Year Old About Puberty

Hi, Ladies! I have a 9 year old daughter that wants nothing to do with any type of discussions about our bodies (broken bones, veins, babies in utero, etc.). Whenever we are looking at my younger, adopted daughter's book about adoption (it has a couple of pages that "show" what a birth mom is and how a baby is born in very basic terms) my older daughter covers her ears, shuts her eyes and says that she doesn't want to hear it. I'm very concerned about talking to her about getting her first period, other changes her body will make, and sex, etc. Any suggestions on books to help us give her information without being too clinical? We'd like to read it with her and talk about it but we need something that she will actually look at and read. Thanks!:)

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

There's a book by the American Girl publisher called All About Me. I've read it and shared it with my 9 year old. I really liked the book - it's covers just what they need to know. It's not too clinical or wordy. My friend got hers through Amazon. It's available at Barnes and Noble and you can also get it through the Girl Scouts.

get tne american girl book the caring adn keeping of you it covers everything from body changes to emotions... etc. it can be read in progression and not all at once especailily if you daughter isn't ready for it. i know my 13 yr old is slowly making her way through it. good luck mother of 13 11 8 and 16mths K. d

There is another book for you, Sex and Sensibility:The Thinking Parent's Guide to Talking Sense about Sex. It may help you prepare for the talk!
Good Luck!

More Answers

Hi D.!

We are touching on this topic now with my 9 y/o daughter now. I am a fan of the American Girl series. There are a ton of books for that age group. They also offer books on friendship, manners, babysitting, mom/daughter, coping with school, babysitting, and so much more! Currently we are reading/reviewing "The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls". We also have the workbook/journal that compliments the book. I highly recommend anything from the American Girl Library! You will also be able to read through it with her and assist her with the journal. And in her private time, she can thumb through the book and work on the journal herself. She will need your guidance, but also her space to take it all.

By the way... I have a 9 y/o girl, 4 year old girl, and a 3 year old boy as well. :)

Best of luck!
~A.

1 mom found this helpful

When I was younger my mom got us "Where did I come from?" and "What's happening to me?" (there was a video available as well that I saw later on) They were really cute and and gave me a good start on that subject. My mom also had "Our bodies, our selves" in her collection and I would read that on my own when I had questions I didn't want to ask my mom about. I bet if you have books around she'll start to look on her own. Just let her know you're always available to talk. Hopefully she'll feel more comfortable about hearing about soon.

Good luck,
R.

Hi D.,
The American Girl Book is called 'The Care and Keeping of You'. It's a very good book. My daughter is 13 now, but also did not want to talk to us about anything! Just too emabarrasing!!!! She actually hid under the table! The American Girl book cover topics such as caring for your body, wearing deoderant etc... through getting your period. (It does talk about tampons and how you use them - just a heads up) It does not have anything about 'sex'. There are some really good books out there for that topic too. I believe Marc Brown (the author of Arthur Books) has a good book on puberty etc. You can also find books for 10 and younger, 10 and older etc, so maybe you could find one that not so 'graphic' to start with.

Good luck,
D.

Hi D.,

I think you are right to want to start this conversation. If your daughter shows no outward signs of puberty, (breast buds, pubic hair etc.) then you probably have a little time.

If your daughter is extremely resistant, I would approach the subject in frequent, small, matter of fact, doses as opposed to "the talk". You could enlist her help when shopping for example by asking her to "grab a pack of those sanitary napkins off the shelf" or something like that. Make sure you make reference to your own period. "I've got my period today. let's stop at home so I can change my pad before we go to" ........ By making the conversations more casual she might be more open to it.

I also agree, I have looked over the American Girl book on "the care and keeping of you" (I'm not 100% sure on that title) and I agree it is a well done book. I intend to purchase it for my daughter (my daughter turned 9 in July and I am planning on buying her this book when she turns 10.) My daughter, however, opposed to yours is very interested in this subject, and, it seems, has been waiting to be a teenager since she was two. (this presents its own special set of problems...slow down!) I have always been very open with my girls and they have actually seen me change my pad in a public bathroom etc. so they are quite aware of menstruation and have since I can remember. I have not shared all the details yet, but have expanded on the subject as time progresses.

Best wishes on this issue. Keep up with the conversations in a slow and progressive way and your daughter will mature as well with time informed and prepared.

J. L.

There is a book put out by American Girl and it is the You boon and it is great. It was recommended by my pediatrician. I have a 10 year old and we have been reading it together and we can discuss things when we read it and I can answer any questions that she has. I hope this helps.
K. A.

What's the rush, she's only 9. Wait until she starts asking questions on her own, and then let her questions guide you as to how much she's ready to absorb at that time. Kids grow up too fast nowadays, let her be innocent just a little longer about stuff like that.

Hi D.-I have 9 year old twin girls. About a year ago, due to one of my daughter's curiosity, I gave them the American girls book " The Care and Keeping of You. The body book for girls" They read it through and through, on their own. Sometimes this sparked questions for me, but I let them do it in private, so they could really check out the "gross" parts without embarassment. I also recently got them "The girls Body Book". One of my daughters is pre-pubescent, so many of the body changes that are discussed, and illustrated, are relevant for her. I'd just buy her a book, or get it from your library. Tell her you got it for her, leave it for her in her room, and wait for the comments/questions to come.
Good luck!

get tne american girl book the caring adn keeping of you it covers everything from body changes to emotions... etc. it can be read in progression and not all at once especailily if you daughter isn't ready for it. i know my 13 yr old is slowly making her way through it. good luck mother of 13 11 8 and 16mths K. d

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