I have a very sweet and sensitive husband who is so in love with me, and I'm so in love back. But he struggles with something very embarrassing. After a bowel movement he wipes but still gets some on his underwear later. If you're familiar with the term "hershey squirts" that's what it is. (sorry if that's too crude.) Ya I know, it's gross. And of course smells. But he's tried wiping better and all these things and get's nothing on the tissue! It sometimes turns into an argument, mostly because he's angry at himself. I try to not make a big deal, but the other day he accidently got some on our white down comforter. I don't know, I mostly just feel bad for him and I don't know how to help him. He is over weight, and I think it might be hard for him to get everything, but he says he is so conscious of it and does a really good job, wipes himself raw.
Is it possible that some is coming out when he passes gas? I have no idea, so gross and I really think a lot of any of you who have kept reading. I don't mean to be crude in anyway. It seems so much more okay to talk about these things when it's about a little kid, not your husband. It's obviously a big turn off and he smells too sometimes worse than other times. Poor guy, he tries so hard to be perfect for me (and he is a million times over) so when this comes up he is just so down and inconsolable. Please help in any way. Could it be a health problem?
I'd try the wet wipes. Kleenex Cottonelle makes them flushable so it's not gross to throw them away.
I also would talk to the doctor about this. It sounds very possible that he could be passing a bit of stool when he passes gas, and that could be a problem with the muscles there. It could be a simple fix or not, but it's better to find out and take steps to fix it, right?
Good Luck!
I don't have any great advice, but have you tried wet wipes? Maybe if you get some flushable wipes it will help him get everything. My kids and hubby all use these after a BM.
Definitaly a medical issue- possibly tied to his weight or his diet, but it could be something more dangerous. If he won't talk to his doctor about it, you should. If you are trying to have a baby, should't you both be in the best of health? Put it to him that way, and maybe it will put it in a new light for him.
Has he tried using wet wipes? Sometimes it is hard to get everything off there especially the bigger you are. I bet it would help to try using wet wipes since that cleans the area really well too. I like to use them sometimes now that I am pregnant and want to stay nice and clean. It could also be that it is when he passes gas. Try having him take some fiber supplements, you can get the mix in powder at a nutritional store...not the best but really really good for you and works really well if you use it as directed. He could just be having blockage in his bowels and it's not all coming out when he has a movement and it just comes out later. Good Luck I hope this helps.
I would definitely say it's not a wiping issue but a medical/musculature issue. Carrying extra weight can put pressure on those muscles down there and weaken them over time. I'm sure if he worked with a physical therapist, they could give him exercises to tighten those muscles so he's not losing control of his bowels. The problem will only get worse as he ages, so it's probably best to tackle it now. I'm sure it's embarrassing for him, but what if he DID start losing control of his bowels in public or something - that would be much more embarrassing! Ah, the joys of marriage!
Just a thought...maybe the tissue isn't doing it. Try Cottonelle Moist wipes or the Charmin moist wipes. They are next to the toilet paper on the same aisle.
This honestly sounds like a medical issue. I would encourage him to visit a Doctor. He will probably say that it would be too embarassing but remind him that he would be more embarassed if this were to come through his pants at work or that there might be something really wrong that needs to be addressed. Maybe do some research about improving his diet. If you are the one who does the shopping and cooking then, that is something you can just do without even telling him or drawing attention to it. We all have things that we shouldn't eat, or that just don't agree with our system.
I hope you find a solution,
Take care, B.
I wish I had the answer to your question. I, too, have the same issue with my husband. I think it is partially due to being overweight, but I also think that it is partially a medical issue. My husband has his excuses...he's a truck driver and doesn't always have the best facilities to use...he also says it is because he is very hairy and we've even shaved the hair off before, but I don't see a difference in the problem. I can tell you that my husband is 50 years old and in the 9 years we have been together I cannot count how many times he doesn't make it to the bathroom. Talk about gross. His entire family seems to have an issue with that. I can't even imagine. I know that I have not given you any answers here, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone in the world. Not too many people would want to write about it or admit it, but there are a lot of frustrated women out there. Good luck to you.
